When things go wrong...

[Choucho]

Alright, so I had a really exciting day in more ways than one. First of all, I got a script for a play that I really want to try out for. It was written by one of the substitute teachers at my school, and she's an awesome lady. The lead male character (and the only one from what I know so far) is gay. So I was really excited when I got the script today.
Plus, a play I'm already in is going to be presented for the local schools Tuesday and Wednesday, and as far as that one goes... well... the whole cast will be glad when it's over. Half the people don't try, and the director has given up, so those of us who do try just have no energy left at all. Plus the way the director does things, it's just so unorganized and sometimes even insulting. But, hey. I'm still kind of excited.
So anyway, for those of you who have read that topic in Chit Chat about the girl who killed herself after someone made a false myspace account and said unkind things to her, that story inspired me to write something today.
I spent almost an hour looking up statistics and writing a short little report-type thing, because I personally feel that teen suicide (hell, suicide in general) is a very seriously issue that does not get nearly enough attention.
I was really proud of it when I finished, so I printed off a bunch of copies and asked my teachers to read them.
About an hour and a half after I got home, my mom woke up (she works night shifts, so she sleeps from about 8am until 4pm). She checked the answering machine to find my school had called. I recognized the name of the woman as a guidance counselor. I figured she had probably called because I hadn't applied for college yet, but I just thought to myself "Well, I'm staying an extra year so mom will just explain when she calls her back."
About twenty minutes later, my mom yelled for me and it sounded very serious.
The counselor had phoned to tell her that the people at the school were worried that I might be suicidal, and that when they didn't reach her the first time they were going to phone the cops. They told my mom that I had been "behaving strangely, going around at the end of the day delivering typed notes about suicide" to my teachers.
I cried.
For the first time in more than three years, I cried.
I felt so incredibly stupid and embarassed.
I had talked with my mom for at least half an hour which was just me telling her over and over again that I was not suicidal. Which, I am definitely not.
However, she then asked if I am depressed, which is a slightly different story.
Now, I haven't cut myself for several months, and I have been depressed almost constantly for four years, but never once have I ever wanted to kill myself.
Anyway, I told my mother I was not depressed for three reasons.
1) I don't want to worry her.
2) Because I am not good at talking to people about this stuff face to face. I wouldn't even be able to look her in the eye, let alone tell her how a guy screwed with me for almost a year and made me feel so guilty and crappy about myself that I'm surprised I didn't have a breakdown.
3) Because she's worried that the depression would be caused by my medication and make me go off it. The medication is for my acne, and I've been taking it for two of the four months. I really want my acne to be gone. I still have it kind of bad, but not as bad as before, and I'm already starting to feel better about myself. And I don't want that to go away. >.<

So yes, that was my wonderful adventure. Thank you to everyone for reading it, and if people wish, I'll post the thing I wrote.

Edit: I forgot one thing. >.< Even though it was really embarasing for me at the time, I'm glad that my teachers expressed their concern, and I'm glad that the counselors take their job seriously. But I do believe they over-reacted just a bit. >.<

[biisme]

yea, i am glad that you're teachers and your counselors reacted in a way that shows that they care about you. i guess they do realize that teen suicide is a serious issue.

as for you're mom, you did tell her you weren't suicidal, which was true (you say).

at the end of the day, i say "realize that these people care about you and will always be there to support you if you need help with your depression."

[Zak]

I want tor ead the thing you typed. It sounds like a good story. Post it.

[InaRut]

I once wrote a story in grade...6? about a kid who commits suicide. Apparently it was so insightful the teacher called my mom and for a while alot of people thought I was gonna commit suicide. But when my teacher confronted me about it I was like, "Say what now?" (well maybe not like that) but my teacher was convinced that after talking to me that I was not suicidal in any way.

Just careful with what you write.
(I still don't like writing stories of suicide...)

[Choucho]

It wasn't even a story really. It was more of an opinion piece, with statistics and such. It is as follows;

There is an epidemic in our society, which I feel has not been addressed as well as it should be. The simple fact is that teen suicide is on the rise, and the statistics are baffling. Not only have teen suicides tripled since 1970, but for every completed suicide it is estimated that there are between 30 and 50 attempts. There was 261 suicides of people between the ages 15 and 19 in 1997.
Statistics have also shown that males are four times as likely to commit suicide as females.
In today’s society, it seems as though all fear of death has been evaporated by media. By media I am not referring to violence on tv. Youth in this day and age are constantly bombarded by news programs with stories of the horrors of the world. We endure a constant exposure to stories of inhuman treatment from one person to another, and hear countless tales of suffering.
On top of this, it also seems that high school is becoming an increasing trouble for teenagers. Present-day youth seem to withstand more teasing, and pressure.
With the recent developments in equality rights for homosexuals, homophobic attitudes have begun fighting more than ever to have their voices heard. Anti-gay slurs are more common than ever in school, and the average person here’s 25 of these comments each day. Two thirds of guidance counselors admit to harboring homophobic attitudes, and a vast majority of teachers.
But it is not just homosexual students at risk, though it has been proven a great risk factor.
Suicide is always regarded as a tragedy, and the news makes a fine point of stating how very upset the families are. However when there are no recent suicides, there are always more important things to talk about.
What people fail to realize, is that for every homicide there are three suicides.
It is reported that in 2006, worldwide, there were over one million cases of reported suicide.
The youth are the future, and the future is descending into a bottomless vortex of hopelessness. The world is the enemy and there is nothing to prevent the hardships of life. What is most frightening is that most of the suicides are triggered by events that seem almost ridiculous. I am not questioning the sadness of these events, but one has to wonder what can cause a person to wish to end their own life because of disagreeing with a parent.
Unfortunately, as humans we must interact with others and this causes conflict that lasts throughout life. However, I feel that youth today need to be helped through these conflicts instead of told that old cliché “Don’t listen to them, they’re just insecure.” Or even worse “Get over it.”
No one can deny the fact that school systems these days do their best to educate children about how much bullying can hurt, and how it is wrong. But one subject everyone seems to shy away from is the harsh reality of youth suicide.
It is also a proven fact that by the age of 19, almost everyone in Canada will know someone who has committed suicide. Death is not what it used to be. It seems as though “The Great Beyond” has been prostituted in society as “The Great Escape”.
There is an epidemic in our society, and I strongly believe that not enough is being done about it. It is an indisputable fact that teen suicide is on the rise, and the statistics are astonishing. One million people were successful in committing suicide last year, and for every success there are between 30 and 50 attempts. But I bet you didn’t know that, did you?

[panda]

Very good! Lots to think about.Thanks.

[Choucho]

Thank you, and you're welcome. ^_^

[Ty]

I thought it was an interesting read, very relevant <3

Do you usually act melancholic or unhappy at school? cause they must have had more than that note for beleif that you were suicidal....

[Choucho]

I don't really act like it, but I usually am?
There's also a novel I'm working on that my teachers have read. It doesn't mention suicide at all, but the main characters are all sort of outcasts of society. (They're angels, and in the novel every angel has a different wing color, and the more vibrant the colors/shades/patterns etc, the higher class the angel is considered. The main characters have wings [and eyes, and hair] that are colored; Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple, and Black [each one only has one color]. As you could tell, it's an obvious reference to homosexuality. Two of the characters are even a lesbian couple.)
So anyway, that might have played a part. Plus I haven't been doing my homework lately, and I started off the school year really well.
Plus I mentioned online "social support networks" in an English assignment, but I was referring to this place. I could see how they would interpret it differently though.
I'm not mad or anything, I was just shocked that they would have reacted to my writing that way, because I didn't figure it would have sent that message.
And also, they said that the fact that I had gone around delivering it to all my teachers, at the end of the day, before a long weekend, was "very disturbing".
But the truth is I hadn't got the inspiration to write it until yesterday morning, and I didn't get a chance to type it until my last class.
So, it was all just a very big misunderstanding. >.< I still feel kind of... ashamed? Something like that anyway. But I know that they were just trying to help.

[Ty]

(*hug*) Don't be ashamed =] i suffer from depression sometimes too - heck if i wrote something suicide related they would contact my home. Its a really good piece of writing =]