Regretting

[nintenfreak92]

Earlier today I e-mailed my best friend and told him I was gay and now I am regretting it alot! I don't know how he will take it. I was on an angry rant because my ex-friend (who dosen't know about the gay thing and is very churchy.) because she said that people who are gay aren't born that way and they choose to be gay. I completely disagree, so I e-mailed my friend to tell him about it and i just kind of added i was gay at the bottom and sent it. I regret it now, can someone help.

[Ty]

All you can do is hope for the best. This is why its never a good idea to come out when your angry or use it to spite someone, it usually backfires.

[chris211]

i agree i hate people who say that i choose to be gay when i was born gay

[nintenfreak92]

i agree i hate people who say that i choose to be gay when i was born gay

I know, if i was out to her I would have told her that yeah i choose to spend practically my entire middle and high school career wondering what is wrong with me and then worrying whether or not I will deserted by all my friends, yeah that's exactly why i "chose" to be gay.

[InaRut]

Well he was proving a point. I mean maybe she'll think twice about gays now that her friend is gay...Or maybe not because you said "X" friend.

:( That's tragic.

I almost came out to my Brother's Friend because he was saying that my lesbian friend "Chooses" to be gay. So we have this 30 minute long debate and I was like, "Well as STRAIGHT GUYS we can't possibly understand what she is going through." I kinda did the exact opposite of coming out. But I'm pretty sure I won the debate and that's all that matters.

[SpikySpice]

Well, one thing to remember, dont ever ever coem out in anger or revenge

I understand how it really feel when peopel say that, it's like we are ignorant peopel choosing wrong choices or something.

well, then ask her if she chooses to be straight

[Paul_UK]

Is this thread http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5240 the follow-on from this, or is that a different person?

[JayHew]

Another thing this might do for you is give you an experience of why sometimes it is better to keep your mouth (pen, keyboard, etc) shut and be thought a fool, then to open it up and remove all doubt. I don't mean that to be derogatory, just an illustration. When angered or in the midst of any highly emotional state, it is best to allow the passions of it to cool and give yourself time to think about what has happened or needs be said, what you wish to accomplish by doing so and what you wish to not reveal in the process. After considered thought, then address your situation with whom you need to and most often there will not be regret.

it is very often with teenage years we live with very strong ironclad rules. Things are either black or white and nothing else, but keep in mind as you grow older you get, more is the realization that things are packaged more in shades of gray. Some held beliefs will change in time. You can hope those your friend holds regarding gays will, but in the culture she is, it doesn't happen much unless she has a fairly strong personality. Still there could be hope.

But the lesson here is, sure you can be angry about what someone says but don't spout off at the get go, allow for the emotions to settle some and you have had a chance to think about what is making you angry and also think about what you might want to say.

It is not wrong to get angry at someone and tell them why from your perspective, but it is best to do it from a stable stance after the highly emotional phase has passed and you have had time to think about it and how to phrase it. Many times when we act in the heat of the moment, we later regret it.

All may not be lost, it will depend on the character of the people involved in your given situation. Once uttered or written, words are hard to take back but perhaps they will see where they are wrong and correct themselves. All you can do is hope.