Post Secret

[Anonymous]

I thought about throwing myself down the stairs today. I didn't do it, but I stood there for a couple minutes just wondering what would happen if I let myself fall forward.

I don't think I could actually do it.

[Anonymous]

I'm so pleased with life right now.

...

But i really want to tell my dad. He has to know.

[Anonymous]

Two things go through my mind absolutely every day. You, and death.

[Grof142007]

IM Feel so lonely now Lying in the bed all cold and lone listening to I write Sins not tragedies by panic at the discos

[Asteroid]

I thought about throwing myself down the stairs today. I didn't do it, but I stood there for a couple minutes just wondering what would happen if I let myself fall forward.

I don't think I could actually do it.

Why would you want to throw yourself down the stairs? Is there something you want or need to talk about? If you ever want to or need to talk about something feel free to contact any of the advisors.

[Anonymous]

I just thought about how funny it would be to start an anonymous argument with myself and see if/how people interjected. Ha. :lol:

[Anonymous]

i want to be with u (i think)
but i know i wana have a chance to be with other girls
i'm at the casual sex stage.you know,try it with a few different people.just have some fun while i'm at uni
but i cant have both.........

[Anonymous]

I just thought about how funny it would be to start an anonymous argument with myself and see if/how people interjected. Ha. :lol:

That's hilarious :p

[Anonymous]

Since reading a certain book, totally secular and very simple, I have enjoyed life so much more. I actually appreciate the sunlight now, though I'm still a night person.

[interstella]

I REALLY need another coffee. I'm about to fall asleep.

[Anonymous]

I'm overly obsessed with chapstick.

[Anonymous]

I don't like to fall asleep. I love the idea of being up really late at night and it just being me.

[Anonymous]

I thought about throwing myself down the stairs today. I didn't do it, but I stood there for a couple minutes just wondering what would happen if I let myself fall forward.

I don't think I could actually do it.

Why would you want to throw yourself down the stairs? Is there something you want or need to talk about? If you ever want to or need to talk about something feel free to contact any of the advisors.

just forget it. it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

I just discovered that girl on girl porn is really hot.

[Anonymous]

I am falling for my ex again. He also feels the same way.

[Anonymous]

Damn crushes.

[Wander]

I'm a total night person. I love staying up late after everyone has fallen asleep, not to watch porn or drink or anything, but because it's so exciting for me. It's like I'm living in my own house then, except that I have to be quiet and not wake anyone up.

[ColbieMarie]

I love staying up late too!

[Anonymous]

I'm so goddamned tired of my best friend that I want to punch her.

No advice will work because she's so difficult.

Consider it a special case.

[Anonymous]

I've got two best friends. They aren't friends with each other. One of them has become a pretty big slut, but pretends she's not. The other one has become a judgmental christian(we grew up together going to the same church), but pretends she's not.

[Anonymous]

My best friend J likes my girlfriend R...

[Anonymous]

i want to get back together just as much as u do
thing is,not yet...i wana have a bit more sex, get with a few more women...& then we can get back together

:eusa_doh::eek:

[Anonymous]

I feel awful saying it, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable dating a bisexual girl, because it means there'd be a lot more people she could like more than me and leave me for.

[Anonymous]

The reason I don't want to have children isn't because I hate children, but looking at the pain and agony it seems everyone goes through in life, I wouldn't want to put someone through that.

[Anonymous]

that kids post made me think.

i dont want kids because...
1.i'm too selfish
2.i couldnt live with myself if i had a kid & knew for one second it ever felt as awful as i have in the past

[Anonymous]

The other day, a girl who I go to school with said she wouldn't have kids because they would take the attention away from her. Those words exactly. The bitch.

[Anonymous]

I could never have kids. Not even one. I'm too self-centered to toss my social life away for a little kid, I couldn't stand to bring another person into the world and make them suffer the way everyone else does, times are just too hard for me and my family, and there are more than enough people in the world as it is. Life is no way to treat someone.

[Anonymous]

I'm doing a shit job at the moment.
I'm really not happy, I feel awkward most of the time and as if half the things I say are stupid and not worth really saying. I feel like I am a burdin on people and I just wish I could pull myslef together a bit - but I don't know how to at the moment. I am sick of getting so emotional that I just want to, and almost do burst into tears in the most unsuitable places far too frequently. Everything is still a mess and I don't understand why. All I know is that I am not happy and I don't know how to change that. The people who want to help, I won't let, because being vunerable scares me and I am too scared to trust another person, and the people I want to listen, just ignore me or I feel bad about relying on. I'm confused and tired and life is just one horrible loop going round and round that I feel powerless to slow it down, stop and change it. I wish I could show a few certain people this as it seems to be the closest I have come to being truthful about my feelings - and it still doesn't sound right. I just feel uncomfortable, alone, lost, awkward and unhappy. I'm scared.

[Anonymous]

I have weird day dreams like JD from Scrubs.

[Anonymous]

I read my mom's email before she does. I also delete all spam for her.

[Anonymous]

I'm slightly addicted to post secret.

I love reading other peoples posts, and when they're anonymous, trying to figure out if I know who posted it.

[Anonymous]

I think i have a crush on an EC Mod

[Anonymous]

I'm going out with a guy but I still look at others and sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have sex with them...

[Anonymous]

as of last night, you're the farthest i've gotten.

i wish we could talk to each other. i wish that we could be over this awkward stage of our relationship (i.e. the beginning). are we just not good for eachother? are we not being ourselves? we were friends before this, right?

maybe asking for a relationship with both communication and physical affections is asking for too much.

[matt3208pc]

I have weird day dreams like JD from Scrubs.

Hehe me too.

[Anonymous]

I'm slightly addicted to post secret.

I love reading other peoples posts, and when they're anonymous, trying to figure out if I know who posted it.

Me too, but I don't know anyone well enough to figure it out. I also wonder if people guess which ones are mine.

[ColbieMarie]

I want to go on a date I actually enjoy.

And then go out with that person again.

[Anonymous]

I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. There are just to many things going around in my head. I have to complete my driving hours, I have to find a way to do all my community service, I have to find a job even thought i dont have the time for it, I have to figure out what I want to do, I have to figure out what college I am going to go to, I have to figure out how to use my birthday money, I'm have no idea what I'm going to wear tomorrow, I'm gonna have get my stuff ready for tomorrow in the fuckin dark because my brother is now living in my room because the basement flooded and whenever he goes to lay down (without any consideration for me...even though it is MY room) he turns out all the lights and freaks out if I turn them on, I'm absolutely fuckin tired of being compared to my stepsister, who is like six months younger than me, and has a job, her license, a car and an idea of what she whats to do with her life...

You don't really need to pay any attention to this, it's just a rant of all the things going around in my mind right now and I needed to vent it somewhere.

[Nodnarb]

I was just watching the news and they had the people running for Congress make a little clip for people to watch. The Republican guy comes on and about a minute into his segment says "I will fight to protect marriage as between one man and one woman." Then, IN THE NEXT FUCKING SENTANCE, he says "I want to bring family vaules to Washington, and protect the Constitutional rights of ALL Iowans."

WHAT A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! I am so pissed off right now. There is NOTHING I hate more than a hypocrite.:tantrum:

[Wander]

I was just watching the news and they had the people running for Congress make a little clip for people to watch. The Republican guy comes on and about a minute into his segment says "I will fight to protect marriage as between one man and one woman." Then, IN THE NEXT FUCKING SENTANCE, he says "I want to bring family vaules to Washington, and protect the Constitutional rights of ALL Iowans."

WHAT A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! I am so pissed off right now. There is NOTHING I hate more than a hypocrite.:tantrum:

I'm still moving to Iowa.

[Anonymous]

I try not to be judgmental, but I really do judge Republicans, Mormons, and people that don't go to college.


I feel reallllllly fat right now. I hope I can fit into some pants tomorrow.

[ColbieMarie]

Part of me accepts myself, but another part of me is just hoping this is a phase that I'll grow out of when I "grow up". That would make life so much easier.

[matt3208pc]

Stupid me likes James, who I absolutely shouldn't be liking.

[Anonymous]

I bite my nails.
I stick gum under tables at school, just to be a dickhead.
I think I'm better than a lot of people.
I have a terrible self-image.
I binge-eat.
I groped a year 7 when he was drunk.
I'm in love with that same year 7.
I'm also in love with my best male friend. He's straight. He knows I'm gay.
I consider boys to be fair game once they hit puberty.
I've got a thing for year 7s.
I keep falling for the same guys my hag likes. She gets over them, I don't.

[Anonymous]

I tried once to stick gum under a table, but it wouldn't stick, so I gave up.

[Jim1454]

I tried once to stick gum under a table, but it wouldn't stick, so I gave up.

:roflmao:

[Anonymous]

3 people like me. I only like 1 of them and it would not work with him.

[Anonymous]

I like to look in the toilet after I make a bm.

[Anonymous]

She is over me.


Darn it.

[Anonymous]

She is over me.


Darn it.

Are you sure about that?

What makes you think this?

[Anonymous]

She is in love with some1 else.
I really miss her.

[Anonymous]

I hate politics

[Anonymous]

I was in an argument with my mom last week, a terrible one. As we made up afterwards, she made out like she was rubbing my arm in a comforting fashion, up past my sleeve. But I'm no fool; she knows I used to self harm on my shoulders when I was angry, she was just checking I hadn't done it again.

[Nodnarb]

I was just watching the news and they had the people running for Congress make a little clip for people to watch. The Republican guy comes on and about a minute into his segment says "I will fight to protect marriage as between one man and one woman." Then, IN THE NEXT FUCKING SENTANCE, he says "I want to bring family vaules to Washington, and protect the Constitutional rights of ALL Iowans."

WHAT A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! I am so pissed off right now. There is NOTHING I hate more than a hypocrite.:tantrum:

I'm still moving to Iowa.

We could always use another vote to get the Nazi that represents us out of Congress. How Steve King was ever elected is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather wait forever, than admit I may have lost you.

[Anonymous]

I've had enough of life :tears:

[biisme]

I've had enough of life :tears:

why do you say this?

and please feel free to PM me

[Anonymous]

I blame my parents for my sexual orientation.

[nodoubtjunkie]

I blame my parents for my sexual orientation.

I blame Martin. :D

[Anonymous]

actually, you are demanding trust from me. if i had my way, i would never trust you at all because eventually this will be over and you will abandon me.

but im going to decieve you into thinking i actually trust you just to make you happy.
and then you will be ok,and when you break up with me i'll still be ok too.

[Anonymous]

i moan about my flatmates not always being sociable & sitting in their rooms,doors shut & locked
but now i want space & time to myself to think & be alone but i feel like i cant
cant i be quiet for 5mins without someone hassling me WHATS WRONG WHATS THE MATTER?!
shussssshhhhh

[Wander]

I had to tighten my belt by another notch today on the same pants I've been wearing for months. How can I be losing even more weight? I'm already thin enough to hide behind a pencil, I don't need to drop any more pounds, but I just don't have the appetite to eat more. I don't overwork myself, I don't starve myself, I'm just particularly thin.

[Anonymous]

Why do I always fancy guys that are way out of reach? :confused:

[Anonymous]

I'm ugly :(

[biisme]

I'm ugly :(

don't think like that!! (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I'm ugly :(

You're beautiful.

[Anonymous]

I believe that my soulmate is on this website, but I'll never tell him, because he and I live in different states and it would never, ever happen.

[Paralyzer]

I believe that my soulmate is on this website, but I'll never tell him, because he and I live in different states and it would never, ever happen.

Haa.. about that..
I wouldn't be too pessimistic :P

[seanathon]

I believe that my soulmate is on this website, but I'll never tell him, because he and I live in different states and it would never, ever happen.

Haa.. about that..
I wouldn't be too pessimistic :P

The only bounds that separate you two are the bounds you set for yourself.

State boundaries mean nothing in the eyes of love, silly.

[Anonymous]

I stuck bubblegum to a pool ladder then took it back off, played with it and put it back.

I tried to kill myself.

I considered doing it again but then had 1 hour phone conversation about handmade mugs and felt better.

[Anonymous]

I'm turning into a nervous wreck. I can't believe that I am letting myself get this consumed with something so trivial. I'm just waiting for her text. that's it. but it's managed to put me into a bad mood, put off my shitload of reading for tomorrow, and distract me. I feel like so much is riding on this. I never get this consumed with people, but I guess it seemed like so much was going right and now...I just don't know! ack, life was easier when I thought no one noticed me. :bang:

[Anonymous]

Right now - I feel so depressed it's not funny.

And I know she's happy with someone else. Which is why I'm depressed. I miss her. My chest actually aches and I can't think about her without this huge lump rising in my throat.

This is the lowest I've been in over a year - I cried three times in school today - just because people asked me what was wrong.

I love you. I'm happy you're with someone else if she makes you happy.

And I know you still love me. I know it's not practical to wait for me. I just feel so damn miserable that you're happy with someone else hours after you told me how much you love me.

:tears:

[mediumdietcoke]

Why do I always fancy guys that are way out of reach? :confused:

Because God hates us.
:tears:

[Anonymous]

I've had enough of life :tears:

why do you say this?

and please feel free to PM me

It's got to be bad when I get more love from people I know on the internet than I ever get in real life.

[nodoubtjunkie]

I took the first step today.

But now all I want to do is turn around and run in the opposite direction.

:tears:

[Anonymous]

I've had enough of life :tears:

why do you say this?

and please feel free to PM me

It's got to be bad when I get more love from people I know on the internet than I ever get in real life.

Maybe because the internet has a wider variety of people with a wider variety of experience. I'm sure I love you just as much now than if we were ever to come across each other in real life (*hug*).

[Anonymous]

I'm always so lonely :(

[biisme]

I've had enough of life :tears:

why do you say this?

and please feel free to PM me

It's got to be bad when I get more love from people I know on the internet than I ever get in real life.

:kiss:(*hug*):kiss:(*hug*):kiss:(*hug*)

What's been going on?

[Anonymous]

I'm always so lonely :(

Do you know why?

[Anonymous]

There was a reason why I was like that. No more. :bang:

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I get very weary of being gay... it just seems that it makes my life infinitely more difficult because all the time I'm around "friends" who go on and on calling people fags and crap like that. And I look around at all the couples at school and wish that I was one of them, but the chances of that happening are almost nonexistent.
I'm tired of being the minority.... the incredibly small minority. I'm tired of being gay; I wish it would just stop, but that won't happen.


Also, whenever I write something down. I notice how mental or silly it is.

[Anonymous]

I don't like the word "homosexual". I much prefer "ghey" :D

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I feel like you guys are the only people who really understand me. When I ask for advice, you give me more reason to push through the bad times. Sometimes it feels like everyone I know in real life just wants to nag at me, tell me what to do, never offer me the benefit of the doubt. You guys are just... on my side, 24/7. I appreciate that, I really do.

[Anonymous]

I'm always so lonely :(

Do you know why?

Idk no one likes me i guess :(

[Anonymous]

I can't wait for Saturday!!! (!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)

[Anonymous]

My boss is a bitch and I'm one of the few people she likes. But I hate her as much as the next person, I'm just the only one stuck with her 5 hours a day so I have to be nice. She finds it funny that she is mean to people and that other people are afraid of her.

One thirteen year old boy is such a pain in the :***:ss that I am changing my major.

I'm nervous about this weekend.

[Anonymous]

I'm invisible.

[Anonymous]

It really bothers me when I can't see how old someone on EC is.

[Anonymous]

I do the morning announcements at my school, which this month has included drawing the winning names each day for a raffle. Today I pulled the name of my friend's grandmother. She died on Saturday. I didn't know her name, though, so I had no idea that was her ticket. I felt like shit. Luckily my friend wasn't in school today.

[Nodnarb]

The fact that I haven't come out to my friends has started to wiegh on me way more than it ever has. I think its because all the 'Phil-Drama' lately as proved to me that my friends(even the ones who are religious fundamentalists)are not homophobic, and would be completely accepting when I come out. If they all like a guy they just met, why would they have a problem with somebody they have known for years?

But I'm still to scared to tell them. I don't know why, I just am.

Getting over irrational fear has never been a strong point for me...

[beckyg]

I do the morning announcements at my school, which this month has included drawing the winning names each day for a raffle. Today I pulled the name of my friend's grandmother. She died on Saturday. I didn't know her name, though, so I had no idea that was her ticket. I felt like shit. Luckily my friend wasn't in school today.

No reason to feel like shit. It was an easy mistake. Why don't you call your friend and tell her what happened. Ask her if she would like to donate the item to a charity or something and then on tomorrows announcement say a brief memorial to Grandma and that her item will be donated to charity at the request of the family.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the library at school right now and someone is listening American Idiot on their ipod ridiculously loud. I want to shoot her, I hate being forced to listen to someone else's music.

And she is wearing an ugly hat!

[Anonymous]

I'm in the library at school right now and someone is listening American Idiot on their ipod ridiculously loud. I want to shoot her, I hate being forced to listen to someone else's music.

And she is wearing an ugly hat!

...and now she's listening to Weird Al...someone needs to stop the madness.

[Anonymous]

I was so happy to find this site, but now I just think about me being this way all the time, and I have been really depressed because of it.

[Anonymous]

I have secretly been talking with a counsellor for a few months (since june) and no-one else knows.

[Asteroid]

I'm ugly :(

Hi there! You are not ugly! No one is. Why would you even say something like that?

Perhaps what would help is if you try to develop some self-esteem, which will in turn allow you to see yourself differently and crucially it will allow you to develop some love for yourself. Every person on this earth is and looks different, which is good. You are not ugly. Try to look in a mirror and start to list all the things that you like about yourself. Say them out loud, even if it is only a few things. With time, and as you repeat it, you will find more things that you like about yourself. Repeat it every day until you can look at yourself and be able to tell yourself: "I like myself. I am not ugly. This is who I am."

Hope this helps a bit. (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I hate not being able to show affection in public.

[Anonymous]

i wish i had a friend to starve with.

[Anonymous]

My life is going nowhere, Same boring routine every single day!:bang:

[Anonymous]

I'm invisible.

No! I'm invisible :p

[Martin]

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=1575&stc=1&d=1223500598

[Lexington]

>>>i wish i had a friend to starve with.

I wish you knew you didn't have to starve at all.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I tell people I don't want to be touched, but all I really want is a lover to hold me.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if anyone actually is normal.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the library at school right now and someone is listening American Idiot on their ipod ridiculously loud. I want to shoot her, I hate being forced to listen to someone else's music.

And she is wearing an ugly hat!

...and now she's listening to Weird Al...someone needs to stop the madness.

Haha, I was in art class the other day and this girl next to me was not only listening to her Coldplay way too loud, she was also singing along pretty loudly! Me and my friends were like "UGH"... :P

/off-topic

[Anonymous]

I cuddle with my friends too much because I feel so incredibly lonely.
I really want someone to hold. :(

[Anonymous]

I hate still being singe. I hate not being able to ever find that "perfect" guy.

[jazzrawr]

I just wrote a 5 page long formal literary essay on Macbeth with 9 quotes and 3 body paragraphs in under 3 hours.
...

I beat my record.
I feel so proud. :D

[Anonymous]

I just wrote a 5 page long formal literary essay on Macbeth with 9 quotes and 3 body paragraphs in under 3 hours.
...

I beat my record.
I feel so proud. :D

Hwow.

(That's how I pronounced it in my head, with a heavily aspirated /h/ sound before the 'wow')

I'm proud of you. ^_^ Essays are hard.

[Anonymous]

I want someone to kiss me.

[Anonymous]

I always think I am insignificant/disliked eventhough I'm the most out there and most well known person in my school...

[Lexington]

>>>I hate not being able to ever find that "perfect" guy.

You won't.

If you have an image of a "perfect guy" in your head, drop it. He's not out there. Nobody's perfect. Nobody's even "perfect for you". What you should be looking for is somebody you click with. Someone you feel comfortable with and compatible with. He might be overweight, or have a huge nose, or wear Metallica T-shirts all the time, or play Scrabble all day long. But if you click with him, stay with it for a bit. See if something takes root. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=1575&stc=1&d=1223500598

:lol: Yeah, I wish I was that hot :p

I'm the real Invisible :smilewave

[Anonymous]

I listen to nsync on a daily basis. (!)

[Anonymous]

I want to regularly see a psychiatrist to relieve some anxiety, but I don't know how to go about doing this without telling my family where I would be going and why.

[Lexington]

>>>I want to regularly see a psychiatrist to relieve some anxiety, but I don't know how to go about doing this without telling my family where I would be going and why.

Which is causing you anxiety. :)

Why don't you want your family to know? Do you think they'll freak out?

Lex

[Sapphist]

I cuddle with my friends too much because I feel so incredibly lonely.
I really want someone to hold. :(

I had the same secret.
now I have someone to hold,but I still cuddle with my friends because its more love to go around.
don't worry-eventually you will have someone to hold,
and you'll probably still cuddle with your friends alot too.

[ColbieMarie]

My name isn't Colbie.

[Joey]

Ugh... I'm getting fat(ter) again. I hate this feeling. I want it all gone. My diet from last year isn't working anymore :/

I think I'm going to go find some pills out there or something that I could look into and research and stuff... I think it's getting to that point.

[Anonymous]

I'm planning to buy my first vibrator tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

I'm planning to buy my first vibrator tomorrow.

Buy me one!

Jk, I have been wanting one for a while now, but I've been too chicken to go alone, and too scared to ask a friend to come with me.

[Wander]

I'm planning to buy my first vibrator tomorrow.

Buy me one!

Jk, I have been wanting one for a while now, but I've been too chicken to go alone, and too scared to ask a friend to come with me.

That's what the Internet is for. Buying vibrators anonymously.

[Anonymous]

I'm planning to buy my first vibrator tomorrow.

Buy me one!

Jk, I have been wanting one for a while now, but I've been too chicken to go alone, and too scared to ask a friend to come with me.

That's what the Internet is for. Buying vibrators anonymously.


**OP**
I might have to do that. I didn't end up buying it. Couldn't work up the nerve.

[Anonymous]

This one time I cried myself to sleep while listening to Metallica - Fade to Black and some other depressing-ish metal songs. And you know what? I liked it. I needed that emotional release.

[Anonymous]

Even though I know it's bad for my health, Sometimes I think about "what might have been" had circumstances been different. Like had I gone in a different major, different high school. Then I start to wonder what life would be like as a different person. Then I think of how many people in the world have absolutely fucked up lives (living with disabilities, in poverty / war), and I just start to feel depressed. Bringing me back to this post. (http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?p=320874#post320874)

Other times I wonder, for every person that we look at from a far and admire, but never have the courage to talk to, is there anyone admiring us from afar? Then that makes me sad again because I'd like to think I'm a person that would be willing to have a conversation with anyone who starts one with me. So why are there so many artificial boundaries in society?

Then I stop trying to philosophize.

[Anonymous]

I'm waiting for a doctor's appointment to get some blood test results.

I'm absolutely terrified - because I am convinced that the results are going to say that there is something seriously wrong with me.

[Nodnarb]

Today I came to realize that I truly do hate my grandmother. She is, without a doubt, the most manipulative person I know. And I have dealt with her all these years, and never said a word against the way she acts. Because you can't. You can't stand up to her. You just can't. Nobody can. I don't know why, but she always gets her way. She can always do or say whatever she wants, and nobody ever says a word.

Today, I almost did. I was tired and a little pissed off, and I was getting sick of her passing judgement on others(specifically, one of my aunts). We(me, my sister, and both of my grandmas) were discussing my aunt's trip out to California last week. Grandma 1 mentioned that it sounded like she enjoyed being in California, and grandma 2 started talking about a trip she made out there awhile back.

She made some comment about how she didn't like California, or wasn't impressed with it or something. Then, she says "And you see two men holding hands....Ugh....Get me away from that!"

And I almost flipped. But a bee landed on me right then, and I sort of freaked out because of that. And I stormed off after I got the bee away, rather than confront her. I didn't say a word to her the rest of the day. I didn't even say bye to her. So I know she is pissed at me now. But I don't care. I don't want to deal with her ever again. College can't come soon enough.

[Anonymous]

URRRRRGH. I effing hate my nose so much. I just want a nose job. Fat people can lose weight, bad haircuts grow out, scars can be covered up, but my nose will always be huge and ugly.

[Anonymous]

I really, really like someone here on EC.

I'll log on, and see their posts and just smile and feel like everything is going to be okay.

[Anonymous]

I'm waiting for a doctor's appointment to get some blood test results.

I'm absolutely terrified - because I am convinced that the results are going to say that there is something seriously wrong with me.

Chances are, you'll be fine :)

I really, really like someone here on EC.

I'll log on, and see their posts and just smile and feel like everything is going to be okay.

I second that for a few members.

[Anonymous]

I cry myself to sllep about once a week. My life is bad and i also take pills for no reason and try to OD.:icon_sad:

in the long run, it's not worth it. if you are alone... there are THOUSANDS of people just like you, who just need a hug and for someone to tell them that they love them.
i don't know who you are, and i have never have been in a situation where i have had to cry myself to sleep or think that drugs will help, but i'll tell you this... i'm going to do my VERY best to be a encouragement to all of the hurting people out there and tell them they are loved... I LOVE YOU(*hug*):kiss:

[Anonymous]

I think I want to get a tattoo on my inner arm that says "I am who I am", in black and elegant type. If I get one on my other arm it will be a battle between "Forget Regret, or Life is Yours to Miss" and "DREAM like you'll live forever; LIVE like you'll die tomorrow"

[Mickey]

I had to tighten my belt by another notch today on the same pants I've been wearing for months. How can I be losing even more weight? I'm already thin enough to hide behind a pencil, I don't need to drop any more pounds, but I just don't have the appetite to eat more. I don't overwork myself, I don't starve myself, I'm just particularly thin.

Damn...I sincerely wish I had that problem!:bang:

[Anonymous]

I'm planning to buy my first vibrator tomorrow.

Buy me one!

Jk, I have been wanting one for a while now, but I've been too chicken to go alone, and too scared to ask a friend to come with me.

That's what the Internet is for. Buying vibrators anonymously.


**OP**
I might have to do that. I didn't end up buying it. Couldn't work up the nerve.

I would do that, but I live with my mom.

[Anonymous]

This weekend was quite confusing...

[Anonymous]

I found out some things... I would like to know more... all that I am learning is hurting more and more.

I don't know how much my chest can take. My heart is constantly pounding and it hurts. Physically hurts.

I can mentally take the pain but I don't know when something is going to give and I physically won't be able to walk... or something worse.

[Anonymous]

I feel like a bad person for saying this, but I find the following posts somewhat entertaining:


When a new member joins who just so happens to be physically attractive and people trip over each other to be the first to say something. An introductions post with an attractive photo got at least 4 times more posts than a standard "Hi I'm new here" post. Even if the member has a poor attitude. Of course I feel bad for the people being ignored.:icon_sad:

Someone posts an "Is he gay" post, and some of the "clues" aren't even remotely gay at all. Eg: "He wears T-shirts"

[Anonymous]

I wonder if some of the people on EC know who I am in real life. That would be quite amusing.

I want to make out with someone on EC, no one in particular, just a really hot lesbian or bisexual girl.

[Anonymous]

When my mother moved out, she forgot her giant pink vibrator. It's still sitting in her bedside drawer where it has been since she bought it. It hasn't been used since she left.

[Anonymous]

I smoked marijuana on friday night for the first time and had the time of my life.

[nodoubtjunkie]

I'm sitting in school with tears steaming down my face, and all i can think is, I really, really don't know what to do anymore. I really wish i did, i really wish somehow i could just make everything go away, make all the shit disappear, but i don't know how. I really want to make it through this, but the fight's so hard and so fucking long, it's exhausting. They tell me to keep smiling, and to keep my chin up, it's harder said than done when you feel like all your baggage weighs a tonne.
I really, really hope the state of my head improves soon, I'm struggling here, I'm swimming against the tide.
If there's a God, please help me.

[Anonymous]

I smoked marijuana on friday night for the first time and had the time of my life.

Really?
Are you mad? IMO Yes,come on smoking and drugs KILL. :(

[Asteroid]

I'm sitting in school with tears steaming down my face, and all i can think is, I really, really don't know what to do anymore. I really wish i did, i really wish somehow i could just make everything go away, make all the shit disappear, but i don't know how. I really want to make it through this, but the fight's so hard and so fucking long, it's exhausting. They tell me to keep smiling, and to keep my chin up, it's harder said than done when you feel like all your baggage weighs a tonne.
I really, really hope the state of my head improves soon, I'm struggling here, I'm swimming against the tide.
If there's a God, please help me.

Hey there! What's going on? I am not sure what causes you to feel this way, but do you have someone to talk to or to confide in? Try to talk to someone, maybe a councilor? Feel free to pm me (or any of the other EC advisors) at any time. I am going to try to help you as much as I can.

[Anonymous]

When my mother moved out, she forgot her giant pink vibrator. It's still sitting in her bedside drawer where it has been since she bought it. It hasn't been used since she left.

ah, bad mental picture. thanks.

[Anonymous]

I check my mom's email more than she does.

[Anonymous]

My friends are all pretty: well dressed, soft features, nice hair.

I think I subconsciously pick pretty people to hang out with.

I prefer to talk to people who look nice and fashionable than talk to badly-dressed, really nice people. :\

[jazzrawr]

I'm sitting in school with tears steaming down my face, and all i can think is, I really, really don't know what to do anymore. I really wish i did, i really wish somehow i could just make everything go away, make all the shit disappear, but i don't know how. I really want to make it through this, but the fight's so hard and so fucking long, it's exhausting. They tell me to keep smiling, and to keep my chin up, it's harder said than done when you feel like all your baggage weighs a tonne.
I really, really hope the state of my head improves soon, I'm struggling here, I'm swimming against the tide.
If there's a God, please help me.

Marie, sweetie, we love you!
You'll make it through. because you have lots of people behind you.
You don't need to keep smiling - smiling when you don't want to is exhausting. You need all your energy to fight this.
Love you, Marie. <3 You can do this.

[Anonymous]

My friends are all pretty: well dressed, soft features, nice hair.

I think I subconsciously pick pretty people to hang out with.

I prefer to talk to people who look nice and fashionable than talk to badly-dressed, really nice people. :\

I think that's Darwinism, or I'm thinking of something else.

[Wander]

My friends are all pretty: well dressed, soft features, nice hair.

I think I subconsciously pick pretty people to hang out with.

I prefer to talk to people who look nice and fashionable than talk to badly-dressed, really nice people. :\

I think that's Darwinism, or I'm thinking of something else.

You're probably thinking of social Darwinism, which is still a little far off from what the original Anon is talking about.

[Anonymous]

In one of my classes, we discussed serial killers.

Everyone reacted by being disgusted and surprised.

It didn't really phase me. I tried to look at it objectively and look at it from a psychological standpoint. I didn't really feel remorse for the victims, because I didn't know what kind of people they were. I didn't feel anger for the killers because I didn't know their story.

I thought it was kind of stupid that people automatically labeled the killers as "bad" and the victims as "victimized." As horrible as that sounds, shouldn't people hear the whole story? In my opinion, the killers did do bad things, but aren't their other circumstances that need to be taken into account, such as psychological states, emotional well-being? And what about the people killed? Did they 'have it coming'?

As for the class, did they become disgusted because they thought it would socially acceptable to show remorse for what happened to the victims, or were they truly surprised?

Why be surprised at a serial killer? To me, it's just something that happens. I've never experienced death myself, so obviously my mindset is largely skewed, but isn't it important to look at the facts before labeling people as killer and victim?

I don't comprehend why people become so shocked at serial killings. It happens. People are people.

Something that also interested me - how come the lives of the children bombed in a daycare were collectively more emotionally potent than the lives of staunchly aristocrats? People make the argument constantly that life starts at conception, and that abortion is killing - but how come they can kill a serial killer? In my opinion, two wrongs don't make a right. I'm very sure, that in the case that my family member was killed, I would change my mind, but that would be under severe emotional stress and debilitating anger; in a level headed mindset, one can only ask: where is the human compassion for even the dangerous neurotic or blind sociopath? Why is the life of one human worth more if the other has committed a crime - is jail not enough?

I suppose I just don't understand capital punishment. I thought I was for it - in fact, I always thought I advocated it - but the more I think about it, the more I think: these people weren't thinking the right way. They don't deserve to die. And if they would deserve absolute punishment, would rotting in a jail cell not be justly equated to such crimes? There is no easier way out than death, so why give it to them?

I'm not so confused by the serial killers, but the ones who persecute them, criminally and personally. I feel bad for thinking this way, but I can't help but speculate on the true humanity of capital punishment.

[Anonymous]

I'm high afraid of being in a relationship and I don't know how to get past that fear.

[Anonymous]

I was raped at a P,N,P party...

I used meth, pot, xtc and drank everclear for two days till i passed out and woke up while being fucked.

He said i told him to do so later on.. and i never bottom, as i bleed and its painfull..and yeah, i bleed everytime i had a movement for near two weeks after that night.

Maybe it was rape, maybe i was that stoned. i dont know. but its nearing a year and im too scared to get an std test.

[Anonymous]

I'm sitting in school with tears steaming down my face, and all i can think is, I really, really don't know what to do anymore. I really wish i did, i really wish somehow i could just make everything go away, make all the shit disappear, but i don't know how. I really want to make it through this, but the fight's so hard and so fucking long, it's exhausting. They tell me to keep smiling, and to keep my chin up, it's harder said than done when you feel like all your baggage weighs a tonne.
I really, really hope the state of my head improves soon, I'm struggling here, I'm swimming against the tide.
If there's a God, please help me.

Marie, sweetie, we love you!
You'll make it through. because you have lots of people behind you.
You don't need to keep smiling - smiling when you don't want to is exhausting. You need all your energy to fight this.
Love you, Marie. <3 You can do this.

I love you too Jazzie. <3

New secret for today, during art today, I've discovered a passion for photography, it turns out I have quite a flair for the subject, according to my teacher, and as my dad has recently given me quite a shexy camera, I may just start up photog as a hobby....

[nodoubtjunkie]

Blast and Damn....^ Twas me.
Still love you too Jazzie =)

[Anonymous]

>>>Said point being, it's not too terribly difficult to change a person's' dependencies and habits.

No, it's (presumably) not too terribly difficult for YOU to change YOUR dependencies and habits.

My partner has some sort of issue with getting up in the morning. I mean, he can't. Literally can't. He falls back asleep constantly. He's missed important meetings and appointments because he can't get out of bed unless I'm there pushing.

For years, I just assumed he was lazy. But finally I realized he isn't lazy. He just can't do it. He doesn't wake up all the way, and falls back asleep too easily. It's a constant struggle for him. He really DOES try really hard to get up on time, but he needs help to do it reliably. But from my angle, for years, it just looked like he was a lazy bum.

Lex

has he ever been tested for sleep apnea? I have it and it's hard as hell to wake up,sometimes.It's worth a shot!:sleep:

[Anonymous]

I was raped at a P,N,P party...

I used meth, pot, xtc and drank everclear for two days till i passed out and woke up while being fucked.

He said i told him to do so later on.. and i never bottom, as i bleed and its painfull..and yeah, i bleed everytime i had a movement for near two weeks after that night.

Maybe it was rape, maybe i was that stoned. i dont know. but its nearing a year and im too scared to get an std test.

First you really do need to be tested. So please do that right away. If you contacted anything you sure don't want to pass it on to somebody else. Secondly you probably need some counseling to deal with this. Last but not least stay away from all these harmful things to your body! You totally lost all coherence and had no awareness of things happening around you. That is not good.

[Anonymous]

Today I came to realize that I truly do hate my grandmother. She is, without a doubt, the most manipulative person I know. And I have dealt with her all these years, and never said a word against the way she acts. Because you can't. You can't stand up to her. You just can't. Nobody can. I don't know why, but she always gets her way. She can always do or say whatever she wants, and nobody ever says a word.

Today, I almost did. I was tired and a little pissed off, and I was getting sick of her passing judgement on others(specifically, one of my aunts). We(me, my sister, and both of my grandmas) were discussing my aunt's trip out to California last week. Grandma 1 mentioned that it sounded like she enjoyed being in California, and grandma 2 started talking about a trip she made out there awhile back.

She made some comment about how she didn't like California, or wasn't impressed with it or something. Then, she says "And you see two men holding hands....Ugh....Get me away from that!"

And I almost flipped. But a bee landed on me right then, and I sort of freaked out because of that. And I stormed off after I got the bee away, rather than confront her. I didn't say a word to her the rest of the day. I didn't even say bye to her. So I know she is pissed at me now. But I don't care. I don't want to deal with her ever again. College can't come soon enough.

Know what? I had a grandmother who was like this. One day,she called me a liar for something I didn't even say.All the years of her abuse hit me all at once. I let her have it!
Guess what? She never did it,again and she actually treated me with respect afterwards.
I'm not saying this will happen for you,but I sure as hell felt better,once I gave it back to her! Good luck!:lol:

[Anonymous]

The thought of having sex with anyone turns me off...but in another way it sounds oh so nice.

[Nodnarb]

Know what? I had a grandmother who was like this. One day,she called me a liar for something I didn't even say.All the years of her abuse hit me all at once. I let her have it!
Guess what? She never did it,again and she actually treated me with respect afterwards.
I'm not saying this will happen for you,but I sure as hell felt better,once I gave it back to her! Good luck!:lol:

Hmmm...maybe I'll have to try it. She may be coming down on Saturday, and there will inevitablely be something she says that pissed me off.

[Anonymous]

I'm just so tempted to self harm again. I'm sat here with the blade infront of me wondering if I should...:tears:

[biisme]

I'm just so tempted to self harm again. I'm sat here with the blade infront of me wondering if I should...:tears:

Please, please, PLEASE do not do that.

First thing, please put the blade down.

You can resist. I know you can. Please, talk to me, or to someone else on the staff. Or, post a thread about why you're tempted to self harm. We all want to help you, and this is not the way to fix things.

Don't do it.

[Starshine16]

You may think that cutting yourself is going to dull the pain,but it won't.It will dull it for a little while,but then the pain simply intensifies.Throw yourself into something productive whenever you have those thoughts that usually lead you to self harm.

So please put the blade down and talk to someone.

[Anonymous]

i don't want any of your help with my eating disorder. i know you care,*insert best friends name*, but i do not want to get better. please listen to me; you are just hurting yourself by caring. it would be easier on both of us if you just gave up on me. :dry:
but i know you'd never do that...:icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

The only posts on EC I really don't like are those flat, empty, one-word "Congratulations!" posts in coming out threads. If you're going to take the time to post something supportive, put a little effort into it.

[Anonymous]

My crush called me ugly today :tears::tears:. I really want to hide me and my ugly face forever.

[Anonymous]

My crush called me ugly today :tears::tears:. I really want to hide me and my ugly face forever.

Oh...please don't. (*hug*)

You are not ugly. Plain and simple.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I personally believe that some of the world's "prettiest" people are ugly just by the way the act.

Don't listen to your crush.

[Anonymous]

This is the only place people respond to me. Any other thread thats not anonymous I feel invisible, Nobody likes me :(. It's bad enough when it happens in real life.

[Anonymous]

people suck, this website sucks, life sucks.

[Anonymous]

this time i cant even talk about it
they all want to know what happened on the phone on sunday evening
i'm better off just charging through & ignoring it atm
i cant deal with it

but i cant have another relationship,i think i want one but i dont know how to be in one cuz ive been with u for so long

[Asteroid]

people suck, this website sucks, life sucks.

Why is that? Why do people, EC and life suck? What's going on?

Edit: if you want to talk about it in private, feel free to send me a pm.

[biisme]

This is the only place people respond to me. Any other thread thats not anonymous I feel invisible, Nobody likes me :(. It's bad enough when it happens in real life.

I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry.

I do like you. Simply because I honestly like everyone on the site. And, I'm sure if I got to know you better, I would like you even more. Why don't you send me a message?

[Anonymous]

I have no one to talk to about this.
Altho EC is a valuable resource, I am still bottling this up inside because I cannot speak to anyone about this because I am so very confused I wouldn't even know what to say without sounding like crap.

[Anonymous]

I love someone so much that I wouldn't dare start a relationship with them, one cause I think it would ruin their life, and two I know I'd hurt him somehow, and for those two reasons, I hate myself.

[Asteroid]

I have no one to talk to about this.
Altho EC is a valuable resource, I am still bottling this up inside because I cannot speak to anyone about this because I am so very confused I wouldn't even know what to say without sounding like crap.

Hi there! I'm sure that it will not sound like crap. Don't leave it bottled up inside. Even if you are confused, write it out. If you feel that it will not be something coherent, start putting it down in forms of questions. Start with a very general question, then work your way down to more specific questions. Feel free to post them, and we will try to help you to answer some of them or at least give you some feedback on them....

Alternatively, if you feel that you would like to have some feedback in private first feel free to pm me or any of the other advisors. No worries, EC will try to help you to figure things out!

[Anonymous]

when my mum txts me asking how i am & how uni is going i cant tell her anything other than yehhh its fine...

[Anonymous]

When I drive through neighborhoods and there are kids on the sidewalk, I always imagine what it would be like if one of them ran into the street.

[Anonymous]

This is the only place people respond to me. Any other thread thats not anonymous I feel invisible, Nobody likes me :(. It's bad enough when it happens in real life.

I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry.

I do like you. Simply because I honestly like everyone on the site. And, I'm sure if I got to know you better, I would like you even more. Why don't you send me a message?

I feel better, I was just have a really bad day yesterday.:confused::)

[Anonymous]

I clicked Support and Advice instead of Anonymous Discussions and I couldn't find Post Secret. I nearly freaked out and started a "What happened to Post Secret?" thread.

[Anonymous]

I want to meet some lesbians, not just for potential dates, but just someone to talk to... (not that I'd actually talk out loud)

[Anonymous]

i have a crush on a guy (who i know is gay) that doesn't even know i exist :(

I have crushes on a couple of lads at the moment( who are gay) but cant stomach to tell them

[Anonymous]

I have a major crush on a girl who is bi,but seeing someone else and they are quite serious.

[Wander]

The most physically attractive guy in the school wore an extremely tight muscle-revealing shirt today. It's such a shame how stupid and obnoxious he is.

[Anonymous]

The most physically attractive guy in my life is also an extremely amazing person. Too bad he's straight :)

[Nodnarb]

I think I agreed to a date, with a girl, today:eek:...Long story. It's all Fallon and the school librarian trying to play match-maker with the foreign exchange students...As I understand, its going to be a 'triple-date', with me and three of my friends, and the two girls from Japan.

Damn you Jonnie. It's all your fault;)

i have a crush on a guy (who i know is gay) that doesn't even know i exist :(

I have crushes on a couple of lads at the moment( who are gay) but cant stomach to tell them

After being crush-less for awhile now, I've started to get a crush on a guy, who also happens to be gay. But he is my cousin's best friend, and I just think that would be a bit awkward. Especially if you knew my cousin.

And anyways, eventhough this time I actually have a chance with a guy I like, I'm scared to death of actually asking him out...

The most physically attractive guy in the school wore an extremely tight muscle-revealing shirt today. It's such a shame how stupid and obnoxious he is.

The most attractive guy at my school is kind of an enigma to me. I've got to know him fairly closely a couple of times over the years, and I think he is actually a really good, intelligent, and like-able person. But otherwise, he comes off, as you said, as stupid and obnoxious. I don't understand why he thinks he has to act that way.

[Anonymous]

I really wish someone unknown to me would ask for my number and just date me, no tie-down needed...maybe not now, but eventually.

[mediumdietcoke]

I'm scared that my (first) girlfriend, who was also my first kiss, will try to ... touch my female-nesses....

that scares me, a lot.

:confused:

[Anonymous]

I'm nothing.

[Mickey]

I like trying on womens clothes ever since i was in my late teens, does that make me weird

Only if it makes me weird for wearing guy's t-shirts and jeans!:lol:

[Anonymous]

I'm nothing.

No you're not. You're you.

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

on my phone , if you try to type in sugar puffs, as in the cereal, it comes up with sugar queer as the first option.

this made me laugh. alot.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure I need help. I am extremely depressed. I really would go get help, but my problems directly stop me from doing so. I know that I really really need to try and be strong enough to go get help, but it's too hard. I really wish that I had even one person who I could depend on in real life to support me through such crappy moments in my life. No one cares enough about me. It's true. I know that people do care, but it only in like an acquaintance manner... No one loves me. I'm talking about the friendly way of course. I know that my family cares about me, but they are unable to show it. The only way that they know how is to provide for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and all, and I know that she worries about me all the time, but I can't even remember if she has ever given me a hug.

I absolutely need someone to be there for me... anyone... Then it would be much more easy for me to go see a therapist or anyone that would be able to help me... But at this point in my life, I've never felt more alone. I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. My mind is too toxic.

[Anonymous]

Today i was chatting to my parents about a boy who fancies me (I'm a girl), and my Dad said "Does he know that you're supposed to be gay?"

I'm not supposed to be gay, Dad. I'm not some stupid kid who is putting myself through all this confusion and pain on a whim. I am gay. Can't you at least pretend to respect my self-knowledge?

[Anonymous]

I'm scared that my (first) girlfriend, who was also my first kiss, will try to ... touch my female-nesses....

that scares me, a lot.

:confused:

:icon_bigg
last night in her bed she told me to let her know when to stop, and what's okay and what's not. I like her a lot more now that she said that, and feel a lot safer.

:eusa_danc

[mediumdietcoke]

I'm scared that my (first) girlfriend, who was also my first kiss, will try to ... touch my female-nesses....

that scares me, a lot.

:confused:

:icon_bigg
last night in her bed she told me to let her know when to stop, and what's okay and what's not. I like her a lot more now that she said that, and feel a lot safer.

:eusa_danc

gr that was me ^^

[biisme]

I'm sure I need help. I am extremely depressed. I really would go get help, but my problems directly stop me from doing so. I know that I really really need to try and be strong enough to go get help, but it's too hard. I really wish that I had even one person who I could depend on in real life to support me through such crappy moments in my life. No one cares enough about me. It's true. I know that people do care, but it only in like an acquaintance manner... No one loves me. I'm talking about the friendly way of course. I know that my family cares about me, but they are unable to show it. The only way that they know how is to provide for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and all, and I know that she worries about me all the time, but I can't even remember if she has ever given me a hug.

I absolutely need someone to be there for me... anyone... Then it would be much more easy for me to go see a therapist or anyone that would be able to help me... But at this point in my life, I've never felt more alone. I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. My mind is too toxic.


(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)


please feel free to talk to any one of the staff if you need/want to. we're here for you.

[Nodnarb]

Earlier tonight, my grandma(the homophobic one) was led to believe that my sister is a lesbian. It was hilarious:D But as soon as my mom realized what she was thinking, she clarified so grandma wouldn't make that mistake.

Then I realized, my sister might be gay. I honestly have no idea, and I really wouldn't be surprised if she is. But what are the chances that both my parents kids are gay? We shall see....

And Phil almost (unintentionally) outed me to the same grandma. He usually comes up and hugs me and says something slightly suggestive, but he was distracted by friends from his old school, so he didn't today. If he did, I know she would have suspected it. She probably already does....

[Anonymous]

N, I really wish you were gay...
part of me wished you came out when I came out to you....
But I guess I'll never know.
:(

[Anonymous]

I've had a crush on my best-friend for the past two years and sometimes I just want to go up and grab him and kiss him but I know that if I did that he's probably hate me.

[Anonymous]

I need a hug :( :tears:

[Anonymous]

Im super deppresed and lonely and i giving up hope of finding a bf

[Anonymous]

^ this is me also and i have a few crushes here on ec XD

[Anonymous]

Me too

[Anonymous]

Me too

awww(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I need a hug :( :tears:

(*hug*)

Im super deppresed and lonely and i giving up hope of finding a bf

Never give up. He's there.

^ this is me also and i have a few crushes here on ec XD

Join the club :lol:

[Wander]

I once had a MySpace page for about five minutes before I realized what I was doing and got rid of it. Since then, I have never had another MySpace page, or a FaceBook page, or any other social networking site. I also have never dealt with eBay or Craigslist, and I don't plan to.

[Anonymous]

I'm suicidal at the moment...I am very depressed and scared. :(

[Anonymous]

everytime i think yeah ok my life goes on without u & i put my efforts into something else...u pop up with a huge problem that is essentially my fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

I'm suicidal at the moment...I am very depressed and scared. :(
read this

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

[Anonymous]

I'm sure I need help. I am extremely depressed. I really would go get help, but my problems directly stop me from doing so. I know that I really really need to try and be strong enough to go get help, but it's too hard. I really wish that I had even one person who I could depend on in real life to support me through such crappy moments in my life. No one cares enough about me. It's true. I know that people do care, but it only in like an acquaintance manner... No one loves me. I'm talking about the friendly way of course. I know that my family cares about me, but they are unable to show it. The only way that they know how is to provide for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and all, and I know that she worries about me all the time, but I can't even remember if she has ever given me a hug.

I absolutely need someone to be there for me... anyone... Then it would be much more easy for me to go see a therapist or anyone that would be able to help me... But at this point in my life, I've never felt more alone. I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. My mind is too toxic.


Hey!! Obviously I cannot fully understand everything your going through, but honestly, if there is any way, go and talk to someone. Things that aren't spoken about only grow and seem more out of control. There are people who are forced to keep confidentiality - they cannot tell anyone, so maybe start from there. You don't have to live the hardest life possible - it took me a very long time to realise that you can take the easy option and not feel weak, bad.. although I'm still working on it! But in the end we only have one life, one chance to fulfill our potential and you shouldn't let fear or anything get in the of that!!

Good luck and I hope you manage to work things out

(*hug*)

[Urman]

I'm suicidal at the moment...I am very depressed and scared. :(

Im sorry to hear that suicidal is not the answer there are other ways to deal with problems that you have.If you would like to talk you can pm one of the ec advisors or myself please try to talk to someone.You can also take a look at some of this website i hope this help.Please talk to someone i cant stress this enough.


http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/suicide.html

All the best
Urman

[Anonymous]

I think I have a crush on Lex :icon_redf

[Anonymous]

sometimes im glad i dont have parents to come out to.
*sigh*

[Lexington]

>>>I think I have a crush on Lex.

Dancing banana, dancing banana, dancing banana... :D

Lex

[Anonymous]

I went to visit a friend this weekend. I haven't seen him since August. We have been good friends since grade 10 (five years ago). He has liked me a few times and we went to prom together in grade 12 just as friends (he had a gf at the time). He is one of the 3 people that I am out to. I have always just thought of him as a smelly german. (as he moved to usa from germany when he was 12).

I think I have a crush on him and that weirds me out. I can't tell any of our mutual friends because I would get endless crap from them.

[Anonymous]

(!)(!)(!)

[Anonymous]

(!)(!)(!)

(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)(!)

[Anonymous]

^^^I could watch the dancing bananas dance for five minutes straight.

[Anonymous]

I think pirateninja/holly is cute.

[Anonymous]

I think Martin,Austin and Jayden are super cute.(!)(!)(!):thumbsup::thumbsup:

[Lexington]

I've actually taken to saying "dancing banana, dancing banana" whenever something comes up that warrants it. :)

Lex

[ColbieMarie]

But looking at the words dancing banana is not the same as looking at the actual dancing bananas....

(!)(!)

[Paralyzer]

^It's better
:dead: :dead:

EDIT:
omg.. this has to be my most evilist post on EC ever..
<--Posts: 666
0.0

[Anonymous]

austin sure is cute

[Anonymous]

^It's better
:dead: :dead:

EDIT:
omg.. this has to be my most evilist post on EC ever..
<--Posts: 666
0.0

How did you get dead bananas?

[ColbieMarie]

^^that was me

[Paralyzer]

If you go in the smiley icon thing at the top of the advanced editor, you get to look at a list of emoticons or w/e. You can choose more options and the dead banana is on there.

But you can just put in
:+dead+:
and it'll work (take out the plus signs though)
:dead: :]

[Paul_UK]

OK, can we get back to secrets rather than smilies now please? Thanks! :thumbsup:

[Anonymous]

Paul is pretty hot to :)

[Anonymous]

i just found out that my BFF has been lying to me... for months. :tears:

[biisme]

i just found out that my BFF has been lying to me... for months. :tears:

I'm sorry!

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I am amused (NOT!!) with how hard (almost impossible) it is to talk to the people I want to talk to (the people I fancy), yet the relative ease I have talking to anyone else on the planet.

[Anonymous]

I'm in heat...I need a guy to just dance with for a while.

[Anonymous]

I've finally accepted my sexuality, it feels very good. =D

[Anonymous]

I've never had a real date with anyone, or been kissed. And it not only depresses me, but makes me think less of myself. Sometimes I feel I'll never be loved.

[Anonymous]

(*hug*) I feel the same all the time, Your not alone.:)

[Anonymous]

When he said " my girlfriend", I totally ignored it. I would have totally jumped his bones right then and there.
But fortunately, he is a good person and would apparently never cheat.

Boy, I sure can pick 'em.

[ColbieMarie]

I want to see him.

[Anonymous]

being a fat skinny person makes me sick inside.
the fact that it makes me sick makes me feel even worse

[Anonymous]

Being on EC makes me feel more gay.

[Janvier]

I've actually taken to saying "dancing banana, dancing banana" whenever something comes up that warrants it. :)

Lex

Oh really? :p
(!)

[Myzou]

Being on EC makes me feel more gay.

Who doesn't it make feel more gay? :lol:

[Jim1454]

Being on EC makes me feel more gay.

Who doesn't it make feel more gay? :lol:

And who wouldn't want it?!? (!)

[Anonymous]

i'm sick of being single. its been over a year now. i want a girlfriend! :icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

I keep a dream diary. The number 72 appears a lot in my dreams. I don't know why. I also have dreams of places that don't exist and people I've never seen.

But these places and people are familiar when I'm dreaming. It confuses me :confused:

[Lexington]

>>>I also have dreams of places that don't exist and people I've never seen.

Three places I often dream of: a Mexican restaurant on a grassy hill (with outdoor seating lit with Oriental lanterns), an elementary school with dark hallways, and an underground train station with very fast trains stopping by every minute. I have never been to any of these places. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

>>>I also have dreams of places that don't exist and people I've never seen.

I dream about hot girls who seduce me. I do not know any such girls T-T

[Anonymous]

Music understands me when no one else does.

[Anonymous]

I want someone to love me. And to hold me. I need the physical contact. And I've never had it. (not counting parents when I was younger)

[Anonymous]

I want someone to love me. And to hold me. I need the physical contact. And I've never had it. (not counting parents when I was younger)

Same here my friend...

[Anonymous]

Being on EC makes me feel more gay.

Who doesn't it make feel more gay? :lol:

And who wouldn't want it?!? (!)

(OP)
I'm just not so sure right now and when I come on EC I feel very gay, but when I'm not online and I'm thinking about it I just don't know. The influence of everyone else on here makes me feel gay. (...if that makes any sense at all)