Post Secret

[Z3ni]

:D For me, the colour is very real but in my head. It's like when I hear a violin playing I'll be very strongly overwhelmed with the colour deep red. And I will kind of see the colour kind of not see the colour. I've always found it difficult to explain. I also have another form of synaesthesia whereby I'll see days of the week and months in certain spaces around me. Monday, for example, is about a foot directly in front of me. Though this is a lot less prominent than my colours. :)


:eek: are you like a psychic?? i think ur cool :P
So do you see the colour around people?? or in your mind?

:lol: No, I'm not psychic. The colour is pretty much in my mind, it's kind of like an aura. You probably have to experience it yourself for it to fully understand it :)

To me that is a psychic gift, go ahead and join the X-men Jean Grey better move over lol :lol:

Haha :lol: if you insist! I have the gift of making guesses about someone's personality and subconsciously linking this with a colour.


It seems soo cool :P is the aura around the person?? because i read that psychics can see auras

Yeah... :) synaesthesia is basically a mix-up of the senses, for example, some people will taste words. It doesn't make the person any less human and people with it are just like anyone else. Others will hear noises when they smell certain things. The most common form is when people see numbers as colours. for example, the number 1 will always appear red to one person, whereas the number 2 would be purple. I don't get that type though.

Hear noises when smelling? thats confusing, well i can like kinda taste n smell when i think of the thing, is that one?? or just remmbering the scent

[Anonymous]

Hear noises when smelling? thats confusing, well i can like kinda taste n smell when i think of the thing, is that one?? or just remmbering the scent

One form is tasting words when you say them out loud or in your head. But it would actually feel like the food was on your tongue, and words such as "Umbrella" may taste of yoghurt or something totally random.

[Z3ni]

Hear noises when smelling? thats confusing, well i can like kinda taste n smell when i think of the thing, is that one?? or just remmbering the scent

One form is tasting words when you say them out loud or in your head. But it would actually feel like the food was on your tongue, and words such as "Umbrella" may taste of yoghurt or something totally random.

:eek:Does that mean i have it?? :P

[Anonymous]

I'm not in on the i love holly conversation currently.

Or the synaesthesia conversation either.

Don't get me wrong, I think both are very interesting.

But I'm feeling left out in here.

What I came here to say is...

I'm so worn out I don't know how I'll make it to December 19 and that really stresses me out.

[Z3ni]

I'm not in on the i love holly conversation currently.

Or the synaesthesia conversation either.

Don't get me wrong, I think both are very interesting.

But I'm feeling left out in here.

What I came here to say is...

I'm so worn out I don't know how I'll make it to December 19 and that really stresses me out.

Why whats on December 19?

[Anonymous]

Hear noises when smelling? thats confusing, well i can like kinda taste n smell when i think of the thing, is that one?? or just remmbering the scent

One form is tasting words when you say them out loud or in your head. But it would actually feel like the food was on your tongue, and words such as "Umbrella" may taste of yoghurt or something totally random.

:eek:Does that mean i have it?? :P

Only if you can actually physically feel the food on your tongue. And that when you're speaking and you say the word "tomato" for example, the distinct taste of a tomato is in your mouth. In which case, you may do. :)

[Z3ni]

Hear noises when smelling? thats confusing, well i can like kinda taste n smell when i think of the thing, is that one?? or just remmbering the scent

One form is tasting words when you say them out loud or in your head. But it would actually feel like the food was on your tongue, and words such as "Umbrella" may taste of yoghurt or something totally random.

:eek:Does that mean i have it?? :P

Only if you can actually physically feel the food on your tongue. And that when you're speaking and you say the word "tomato" for example, the distinct taste of a tomato is in your mouth. In which case, you may do. :)

Physically?? no ... and I thought i actually finally was special for once :tears:

[Anonymous]

Hear noises when smelling? thats confusing, well i can like kinda taste n smell when i think of the thing, is that one?? or just remmbering the scent

One form is tasting words when you say them out loud or in your head. But it would actually feel like the food was on your tongue, and words such as "Umbrella" may taste of yoghurt or something totally random.

:eek:Does that mean i have it?? :P

Only if you can actually physically feel the food on your tongue. And that when you're speaking and you say the word "tomato" for example, the distinct taste of a tomato is in your mouth. In which case, you may do. :)

Physically?? no ... and I thought i actually finally was special for once :tears:

You are special! (*hug*) You may have other types of synaesthesia, there's loads. And even if you don't, it doesn't matter. You're still lovely.

[Anonymous]

I'm not in on the i love holly conversation currently.

Or the synaesthesia conversation either.

Don't get me wrong, I think both are very interesting.

But I'm feeling left out in here.

What I came here to say is...

I'm so worn out I don't know how I'll make it to December 19 and that really stresses me out.

Why whats on December 19?

That's the end of finals week and I'll be a free till January 20th.

[Z3ni]

One form is tasting words when you say them out loud or in your head. But it would actually feel like the food was on your tongue, and words such as "Umbrella" may taste of yoghurt or something totally random.

:eek:Does that mean i have it?? :P

Only if you can actually physically feel the food on your tongue. And that when you're speaking and you say the word "tomato" for example, the distinct taste of a tomato is in your mouth. In which case, you may do. :)

Physically?? no ... and I thought i actually finally was special for once :tears:

You are special! (*hug*) You may have other types of synaesthesia, there's loads. And even if you don't, it doesn't matter. You're still lovely.

Haha :)

[Z3ni]

I'm not in on the i love holly conversation currently.

Or the synaesthesia conversation either.

Don't get me wrong, I think both are very interesting.

But I'm feeling left out in here.

What I came here to say is...

I'm so worn out I don't know how I'll make it to December 19 and that really stresses me out.

Why whats on December 19?

That's the end of finals week and I'll be a free till January 20th.

You'll make it :) goodl uck in your exams:thumbsup:

[Apocalypte]

I'm not in on the i love holly conversation currently.

Or the synaesthesia conversation either.

Don't get me wrong, I think both are very interesting.

But I'm feeling left out in here.

What I came here to say is...

I'm so worn out I don't know how I'll make it to December 19 and that really stresses me out.

Why whats on December 19?

That's the end of finals week and I'll be a free till January 20th.

Replace the 19th with the 16th and I'm in full agreement. Seriously, can't wait until finals are over, I'm exhausted already.

[Anonymous]

Haha, I never saw Bad Girls.

Okay, Question 2; What piece of music makes you REALLY happy? Like, when you hear the opening bars you smile?

Come on, lets carry on with the questions. It's fun :D

You should watch it :p

My favourite music? or my favourite piece of music?

the song that never fails to lift my spirits is Never Let You Go - Jakaranda, or Falling for you by Busted :p lol

[Anonymous]

Haha, I never saw Bad Girls.

Okay, Question 2; What piece of music makes you REALLY happy? Like, when you hear the opening bars you smile?

Come on, lets carry on with the questions. It's fun :D

You should watch it :p

My favourite music? or my favourite piece of music?

the song that never fails to lift my spirits is Never Let You Go - Jakaranda, or Falling for you by Busted :p lol

hmm first one that springs to mind is josh groban - you raise me up

[Anonymous]

Sorry to distract you from all the "I love Holly" posts, but I really need to get this out of my system.

I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING ALONE!!!
Every single person I know is straight as a ruler (except one, who sets my gaydar off like a nuclear bomb). My dad will kick me out of the house when I come out, and most of my friends will probably desert me. I'm also really stressd out from my GCSEs.
GRRRRRRRRRRR.

[/rant]

[pirateninja]

Sorry to distract you from all the "I love Holly" posts, but I really need to get this out of my system.

I'M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING ALONE!!!
Every single person I know is straight as a ruler (except one, who sets my gaydar off like a nuclear bomb). My dad will kick me out of the house when I come out, and most of my friends will probably desert me. I'm also really stressd out from my GCSEs.
GRRRRRRRRRRR.

[/rant]

Distract all you want. It's not my personal thread after all.

And with the other stuff, seriously, 95% of my friends are straight, but at the end of the day we are the minority, and gay people don't exactly walk around with a sign on their head saying "YOOHOO BIG BOY, I'M GAY AND FAH-LAMING" on their heads. You'll meet some as time goes by. And your dad, if you're saying this because you want to come out to him, then make sure you have a place to go. Is there a friend or relative who would put you up if the worst came to the worst?

And GCSEs. I managed to survive them. Barely. :lol: But honestly, they're not too bad. Everyone worries aboot exams. You know what work needs to be put in, so as long as you do it, you'll be fine.

[Paul_UK]

My dad will kick me out of the house when I come out... And your dad, if you're saying this because you want to come out to him, then make sure you have a place to go. Is there a friend or relative who would put you up if the worst came to the worst?

If you have no other options there's a sofa here in Hereford you are welcome to sleep on. I will also come and collect you from anywhere in the UK. If you think there might be a risk then please PM me and I'll let you have my mobile number, so you can call if the worst happens. This offer is available to any UK member in this sort of situation.

Also check on homeless support charities such as Shelter and general support lines like ChildLine and Citizens Advice who could probably help with something more local. Put the numbers in your phone just in case.

[Anonymous]

My dad will kick me out of the house when I come out... And your dad, if you're saying this because you want to come out to him, then make sure you have a place to go. Is there a friend or relative who would put you up if the worst came to the worst?

If you have no other options there's a sofa here in Hereford you are welcome to sleep on. I will also come and collect you from anywhere in the UK. If you think there might be a risk then please PM me and I'll let you have my mobile number, so you can call if the worst happens. This offer is available to any UK member in this sort of situation.

Also check on homeless support charities such as Shelter and general support lines like ChildLine and Citizens Advice who could probably help with something more local. Put the numbers in your phone just in case.

Paul, thank you so much, you are seriously awesome! I don't plan on coming out to him yet; I've decided to wait until I go to 6th form, but that gets harder each day :(

BTW, the only other person I'm out to is my aunt, but she lives in Paris :(

[Anonymous]

tr.v. raped, rap·ing, rapes

1.To force (another person) to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse; commit rape on.

^^^^I think I was raped two years ago....

[Anonymous]

I'm sick of racist people.

[nodoubtjunkie]

tr.v. raped, rap·ing, rapes

1.To force (another person) to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse; commit rape on.

^^^^I think I was raped two years ago....

I'm really sorry that you think this, I really am.
If you want to talk, you're more than welcome to message me, I'm always here.

[squirrel]

Wow, synaesthesia sounds like a really interesting gift :) It would be really cool to see emotions/feelings/sounds as colours...Just out of interest, where do you see the colour? Like in your example with the violin, is it just like your mind is filled with the colour deep red, or do you actually see the colour in front of you, coming out of the violin? Excuse my ignorance, but it's not everyday you meet someone with synaesthesia :D

:D For me, the colour is very real but in my head. It's like when I hear a violin playing I'll be very strongly overwhelmed with the colour deep red. And I will kind of see the colour kind of not see the colour. I've always found it difficult to explain. I also have another form of synaesthesia whereby I'll see days of the week and months in certain spaces around me. Monday, for example, is about a foot directly in front of me. Though this is a lot less prominent than my colours. :)

:eek: are you like a psychic?? i think ur cool :P
So do you see the colour around people?? or in your mind?

Whoa! I have the days of the week and the months thing too. I never thought of it as synaesthesia though.

Lets see... all the days of the week are North of me, Monday being the on e furthest to the Northeast. The months are in like a huge circle, December being he most western point and June being the most eastern.

[Pinstripe]

If you have no other options there's a sofa here in Hereford you are welcome to sleep on. I will also come and collect you from anywhere in the UK. If you think there might be a risk then please PM me and I'll let you have my mobile number, so you can call if the worst happens. This offer is available to any UK member in this sort of situation.

OK, so it's not a secret but that is another reason why Paul is one of the nicest people around !!

[ccdd]

I feel like a creep because all the girls i talk to on here are 5 years younger than me. I wish there were more 20 year old girls on here.

<--- 22 year old girl. Do I count? (*hug*)

<--- 20-something-year-old girl. Woo!

[ColbieMarie]

I feel like a creep because all the girls i talk to on here are 5 years younger than me. I wish there were more 20 year old girls on here.

<--- 22 year old girl. Do I count? (*hug*)

<--- 20-something-year-old girl. Woo!

<----20 (in 4 days) year old girl. Yay!

[ccdd]

I feel another crush coming along...not another "wow I really fancy them", but another heart-racing-gasping-for-breath crush. I bumped into them the other day and my heart went crazy and I could barely breathe. And I nearly died when she sent me a text. And I stalk her on facebook :D. ALL THE TIME :D.

She describes herself as bi but mostly straight, and as currently interested in a guy, although she is single.

I'm thinking no chance. Why oh why does this keep on happening to me and how many times does it have to happen before I accept that I'm gay?

[ccdd]

I feel like a creep because all the girls i talk to on here are 5 years younger than me. I wish there were more 20 year old girls on here.

<--- 22 year old girl. Do I count? (*hug*)

<--- 20-something-year-old girl. Woo!

<----20 (in 4 days) year old girl. Yay!

Woo! Let's hear it for the twenties! For some reason I'm paranoid about putting my exact age down...although I will admit that I'm under 25 for those that are interested :D

[Anonymous]

Plucking hairs with a tweezer is like drugs. When I'm anxious, it calms me. I wish I could stop. It looks gross, but I can't help it.

[Anonymous]

I think i should walk away from my "love life" for a little while.
But i gotta get up the courage to do that.
Wish me Luck

[Anonymous]

I just told my brother that I was doing my computer homework at the school library because I don't have microsoft access on my laptop because microsoft office student doesn't come with it. He said it was "gaysauce, that's like fuck-a-man-with-aids-in-the-ass gay"

He has such a colorful vocabulary.

[Anonymous]

I have an uncle named Snowball.

[Pinstripe]

I just bit myself so much I started to bleed a little.

And I have my second last exam (Business Management) tomorrow which I should really be studying for, but I haven't studied for any of my exams so far and I've been confident in all of them. Year 12 French on Wednesday and that is my last exam for this year (and my last French exam ever, unless I decide to do French at uni) !!

[nodoubtjunkie]

I'm at school and looking a little...whorish :p
I decided to look good and make an effort today...
But I had to wear my jeans out the door so my mum would let me out...
I took them off and put my fishnets on when I got to school.
Naughty me :p

[Anonymous]

i intentionally stole some chapstick from Target today but i forgot i had a few items in the basket that i didnt put in the register so i also unintentionally stole about 30 bucks in merchandise. oh well

[ccdd]

I feel another crush coming along...not another "wow I really fancy them", but another heart-racing-gasping-for-breath crush. I bumped into them the other day and my heart went crazy and I could barely breathe. And I nearly died when she sent me a text. And I stalk her on facebook :D. ALL THE TIME :D.

She describes herself as bi but mostly straight, and as currently interested in a guy, although she is single.

I'm thinking no chance. Why oh why does this keep on happening to me and how many times does it have to happen before I accept that I'm gay?

Oh yes, it's definately a crush developing...I just bumped into her, totally ignored everyone and spoke to her, and then spilled my drink everywhere. Hm, clever. And I think she may well know why I was being so clumsy :icon_redf.

Although, on the up side, I have a post-seeing-crush high, and she did speak to me the whole time. And I had dressed up prettier than usual today. So yay.

[Anonymous]

i'm At School And Looking A Little...whorish :p
I Decided To Look Good And Make An Effort Today...
But I Had To Wear My Jeans Out The Door So My Mum Would Let Me Out...
I Took Them Off And Put My Fishnets On When I Got To School.
Naughty Me :p

Xp

[Anonymous]

I actually like having a mouse in my apartment. It almost feels like a pet.

I plan on catching him (humanely of course) and showing him to my landlord in an effort to get him to let me own a cat. Or two cats.

I want company of the adorable variety.

[Anonymous]

Today I finally found the word for what happened to me. And as horrible as it was, I couldn't be more joyous that I now finally have a name for it:

I was sexually assaulted.

now I know what to call it,which means I can talk about it. and now that I can talk about it, I can have closure. And if I get closure I may actually find happieness again.

[Anonymous]

i hope she didnt use me

[Peter]

Today I finally found the word for what happened to me. And as horrible as it was, I couldn't be more joyous that I now finally have a name for it:

I was sexually assaulted.

now I know what to call it,which means I can talk about it. and now that I can talk about it, I can have closure. And if I get closure I may actually find happieness again.

Good luck with this. Accepting and naming it is a big step. I hope that you can talk about it without making it anonymous. Now, you need to talk about in more detail so that you can really heal. Take care of yourself. I hope you will find a compassionate person to listen without making pointless comments like "I understand your pain" (they don't) or offering you advice that doesn't really help.(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

Right now, I'm wearing my slut jeans with no underwear on. Therefore, everything I have is being showed to the world...

[Anonymous]

ive just entered the world of being "friends with benefits"
it excites me
but
it scares me too!
i dont feel like i should be putting any feeling into it,yet i'm already paranoid that what we say to each other online or what we text each other is going to be seen by other people...

[squirrel]

According to prophecy, the world is supposed to end on my eighteenth birthday.

[Anonymous]

I walked half an hour, and came up to the door. I stood outside for five, long minutes, listening to their laughing voices. My courage gave out. I turned and ran away, all the way home - a cold half an hour in the dark.

I feel ashamed of myself. They would've been community. But I'm still afraid of who I am.

[Asteroid]

I walked half an hour, and came up to the door. I stood outside for five, long minutes, listening to their laughing voices. My courage gave out. I turned and ran away, all the way home - a cold half an hour in the dark.

I feel ashamed of myself. They would've been community. But I'm still afraid of who I am.

Don't be afraid of who you are. Always remember that we are all different. Difference is what makes us. If you share with others that difference, relationships will grow stronger. At the same time (and if you are worried about how people might react to your sexual identity), your sexual identity is only a small part of you. It does not make you any more different than others. Don't be afraid of who you are. You are making your own contribution in your own way and that's what counts.

If you ever feel the need to talk to someone in private, feel free to pm me or any of the other advisors at any time.

[Anonymous]

I want to act make people laugh.
But I'm too fat for Hollywood. And it's so damn far away.

I love what I'm studying; I just don't think I'm meant to be a scientist.

[Anonymous]

I've been reading my big sister's diary.

[Janvier]

I want to act make people laugh.
But I'm too fat for Hollywood. And it's so damn far away.

I love what I'm studying; I just don't think I'm meant to be a scientist.

To fat??
well yeah, I guess you're right, I've never seen a fat person on tv :rolleyes:

Go for it !!

[nodoubtjunkie]

i feel kinda bad for laughing just a little bit too hard when some poor guy died in Holby City.
but it was really, really funny.
He was messing about with the heart-starty machine, the defibrillator? and pretending to use the two hand thingys as boxing gloves, and he was like 'wooooo' and clunked them together, boxing-glove-stylie and electricuted himself. After flying 6 feet in the air, he landed on the floor and kind of...died.
I'm sorry, but it was absolutely hilarious. it was like a Mr. Bean moment.

[Pinstripe]

i feel kinda bad for laughing just a little bit too hard when some poor guy died in Holby City.
but it was really, really funny.
He was messing about with the heart-starty machine, the defibrillator? and pretending to use the two hand thingys as boxing gloves, and he was like 'wooooo' and clunked them together, boxing-glove-stylie and electricuted himself. After flying 6 feet in the air, he landed on the floor and kind of...died.
I'm sorry, but it was absolutely hilarious. it was like a Mr. Bean moment.

Can you taste the irony in the air? :P

[Face Smasher]

I easily get attached to people I only know online.

No I'm not referring to my partner. I am in LOVE with him. I mean I connect with these people. There have been several cases I can think of.

I first came out to an Internet forum. Not this one. The weird thing is they were supportive at first but then turned on me.

My coming out story is kind of long and I am working on writing it. An epic post it shall be.

There are a ton of things in my life that I wish I could change. Like little things I did years ago (one going back TEN YEARS as of November 5). I wonder what would have been if I had chosen not to make these mistakes. I tell people about them, even apologize, and they can't remember what I'm talking about.

I'm a SEVERE procrastinator.

[Anonymous]

I hate myself for what I did to you. Im sorry.

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering why there's a whole bunch of old threads dug up.

[Pinstripe]

Dad (mere moments ago): "As long as you're happy and healthy that's all that matters... And I want you to earn lots of money for your wife and your children..."

I'm his only child.


:(

[seanathon]

I've been mulling this over in my head for a while...

Lately I've been wanting to be a teacher. A high school English teacher, specifically.

But as I juggle that dream around in my head, I can't help but feel ashamed of my sexuality. To be honest, I don't want to be the gay teacher. I don't want to be ridiculed and hated by my students and their parents. I have a huge fear that they'll accuse me of sexual perversion, harass me, or just plain disrespect me (even other teachers).

It's a dull fear, and out of place, but it still reverberates in the back of my head from time to time. And I can't help but think... Will this--who I am--affect who I can become?

:\

[amyleona]

It's a dull fear, and out of place, but it still reverberates in the back of my head from time to time. And I can't help but think... Will this--who I am--affect who I can become?

:\

Hopefully, no. This is not going to be a problem for long. Someday, only the few will hate anyone. That being said, it will be someday. I have the same fears for what I want to do--teaching, The Fine Arts...politics--all of which I could be faced with.

[amyleona]

I easily get attached to people I only know online.

Same here. I think, for me, its the fact that no one will know how I used to be.

[Asteroid]

I've been mulling this over in my head for a while...

Lately I've been wanting to be a teacher. A high school English teacher, specifically.

But as I juggle that dream around in my head, I can't help but feel ashamed of my sexuality. To be honest, I don't want to be the gay teacher. I don't want to be ridiculed and hated by my students and their parents. I have a huge fear that they'll accuse me of sexual perversion, harass me, or just plain disrespect me (even other teachers).

It's a dull fear, and out of place, but it still reverberates in the back of my head from time to time. And I can't help but think... Will this--who I am--affect who I can become?

:\

Your sexual identity does not affect who you can become. If you want to become a high school English teacher, go for it!!

[Anonymous]

My thoughts and philosophies have gotten more and more misanthropic, nihilistic, anti-consumerist, and destructive. I think of all the cycles that humans have created and the meanings they give themselves, and it seems so...pointless. How people try to inject purpose into their lives when none of it will have meant anything when the world finally ends, whether the sun expands or a meteor impacts or whatever. They may be able to relieve the suffering of later generations, but then those will die, and the conflicts people come up with seem so meaningless. The only thing that keeps me from suicide is how amusing humans are to observe.

[Anonymous]

I'm feeling really depressed tonight. I have the strongest urge to cut myself, though I know I wont, I haven't cut in months. It's 1 am and i have to be awake for work in less than 7 hours. I think I'm going to go find some alcohol (even though I haven't drank since july) and take a walk in the freezing cold. :tears:

[Anonymous]

This thread is mostly depressing, as I think most people would expect it to be. I wish I could give personal and/or supportive responses to them but a lot of times I cannot help as I wish I could. Like the person above me, I hope you are not depressed about your sexuality and if you are lonely like many of us here, remember that you are not alone. You will find someone someday. I hope that relates to your post in some way.

I also have recently come back to this site and now feel somewhat displaced. I wish I had held on stronger to the friendships I had made.
Yes, yet another depressing post.
I hope one of my friends reads this...but I kind of hope he/she doesn't find out it's me...then again...
Depressing:icon_redf

[Anonymous]

I just want to cry. Ironically it seems my body has almost forgotten how. Guess I'll settle for crying on the inside.

[Anonymous]

This thread is mostly depressing, as I think most people would expect it to be. I wish I could give personal and/or supportive responses to them but a lot of times I cannot help as I wish I could. Like the person above me, I hope you are not depressed about your sexuality and if you are lonely like many of us here, remember that you are not alone. You will find someone someday. I hope that relates to your post in some way.

Thanks, but it actually has nothing to do with my sexuality, I'm very comfortable with who I am. The thing is, I'm bipolar and ADD and have anxiety. And now my bipolar is acting up again unfortunately........ now, time for that walk... i now have to be awake in 6 hours. Thanks for actually replying to my post. Whenever I want to post here I'm afraid to because I really just feel the need to talk to someone, and if I post, I'm afraid it will just get buried and no one will see it. I'm rambling now... but that's cuz I'm tipsy.

[Anonymous]

I want to name my musical productions after EC members :D

[Anonymous]

I've been mulling this over in my head for a while...

Lately I've been wanting to be a teacher. A high school English teacher, specifically.

But as I juggle that dream around in my head, I can't help but feel ashamed of my sexuality. To be honest, I don't want to be the gay teacher. I don't want to be ridiculed and hated by my students and their parents. I have a huge fear that they'll accuse me of sexual perversion, harass me, or just plain disrespect me (even other teachers).

It's a dull fear, and out of place, but it still reverberates in the back of my head from time to time. And I can't help but think... Will this--who I am--affect who I can become?

:\

I'll admit, I've thought aboot this too. I'd like to be an art teacher, maybe not my top job but it's a career I'd like. But I remember we had this teacher with short hair, who was a bit masculine, and immediately everyone jumped on the "Miss _______ is a lesbian!" bandwagon, and to be honest, I could see that happening to me as well.

But it could happen in any career, not just teaching.

[Anonymous]

its been less than a week since it happened
we've seen each other nearly every day
i dont want to get attatched
but i'm so scared i might be...

shame i have a bet on with my flatmate that i won't get attatched (that bet is shameful!)

[nodoubtjunkie]

I'm scared that I'm slipping back to me ED days. I can't remember the last time I ate a proper meal, probably about this time last week. I can't remember eating yesterday. I did the day before, I'm sure of it.

I don't get it though, it's not as if I'm not eating for a reason, it's not like I want to restrict my food intake, I'm just not hungry. But I'm losing weight. And my dietitian is going to put two and two together and make four. And I'll be back to the start.

Arg.

Why can't my body just do what it needs to?

[Peter]

I've been mulling this over in my head for a while...

Lately I've been wanting to be a teacher. A high school English teacher, specifically.

But as I juggle that dream around in my head, I can't help but feel ashamed of my sexuality. To be honest, I don't want to be the gay teacher. I don't want to be ridiculed and hated by my students and their parents. I have a huge fear that they'll accuse me of sexual perversion, harass me, or just plain disrespect me (even other teachers).

It's a dull fear, and out of place, but it still reverberates in the back of my head from time to time. And I can't help but think... Will this--who I am--affect who I can become?

:\

I'll admit, I've thought aboot this too. I'd like to be an art teacher, maybe not my top job but it's a career I'd like. But I remember we had this teacher with short hair, who was a bit masculine, and immediately everyone jumped on the "Miss _______ is a lesbian!" bandwagon, and to be honest, I could see that happening to me as well.

But it could happen in any career, not just teaching.

Teaching is a great job. If you are doing it in order to help young people progress and make the most of their lives. Please don't go into teaching for the wrong reasons (e.g. stay in touch with young boys/girls or running away from "real life" and responsibilities). It is not an easy job, it is an important one and a rewarding one. This should have nothing to do with your sexuality.

[Anonymous]

Idk whats wrong with me but my friends just keep ignoring me and leaving me out on stuff :(:tears:

[Anonymous]

I want to name my musical productions after EC members :D

Best.
Idea.
EVER.

[Anonymous]

College stresses are giving me massive cravings for the MMO that almost wrecked my life... I hate the way my mind isn't logical on these things. :(:help:

[pirateninja]

I'm really not cool at all. :lol: And it really doesn't bother me :D

[Anonymous]

I'm really not cool at all. :lol: And it really doesn't bother me :D

I think you're cool haha
If we lived close to each other I would want to hang out with you, but I would probably wouldn't know how to start a friendship

[Ronnie92]

I have most likely made a fool of myself to my friends because I so stupidly kicked a pole when pissed and hurt my foot. Made worse by the fact I was wearing steel toed boots lol

[Anonymous]

I have an uncle named Snowball.

I have a cat named Snowfoot.

[interstella]

By the end of the weekend I will most likely be out to another person :D:D:D

[Anonymous]

I have an uncle named Snowball.

I have a cat named Snowfoot.

I've always wanted to be called Christmas, although my birthday is in Easter time.

[Anonymous]

I'm cheating on my soulmate. What's wrong with me? :(

[Anonymous]

I think I might be straight.

[Anonymous]

Despite my efforts, I gave in. As soon as I knew I was alone in my car with his forgotten water bottle, I licked the opening. After all, he was done with it. Is that so horrible? It's the closest thing I'll ever come to a kiss with him I'm sure.

[Numfarh]

:lol:

I think it's hilarious that I have a potential date with a girl.
Who's advert I saw in the w4w section on craigslist.
Who actually liked my response to her post.

But oh my non-personal deity, I'm so nervous.

*hyperventilates*

[amyleona]

I have severe problems when it comes to paranoia. And I have never told anyone before.
When I get sick I prepare for the worst (like permanently losing my voice when I get strep throat.) When I'm home alone I keep every possible door locked, bolted and chained and every other door closed. When I log into Myspace of Facebook I prepare for hate-filled messages and for everyone to have deleted me. When I'm in public--or anywhere with people--, I can do anything and feel safe.

[tm74]

I think I might be straight.

I sometimes question myself - 'am I really gay' etc. - don't get too worked up, you're not the only one doubting their instincts.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, some gay guys really drive me insane. A lot of the time, on EC and otherwise, any time women are mentioned, a gay guy will jump in going "ewww" or "this is why I'm glad I'm gay" or something like that. I understand that you're not attracted to women, but the "OMG a vagina it's hideous get it away from me" reaction is ridiculous when you could just hit back and move on.

[nodoubtjunkie]

I'm really not cool at all. :lol: And it really doesn't bother me :D

That fact that you posted this makes you the coolest person ever. You obviously have no idea :lol:

[Anonymous]

I'm really not cool at all. :lol: And it really doesn't bother me :D

Ummm wait a sec, who is it that had like, five people crushing on her at once??

If that's not cool, I don't know what is...

[Paul_UK]

I think I might be straight.

I sometimes question myself - 'am I really gay' etc. - don't get too worked up, you're not the only one doubting their instincts.

Forget about labels and definitions, just follow your heart and go with what you fancy. :thumbsup:

[Anonymous]

I hate myself and call myself a fag in my head, but i still want to be out

[Anonymous]

I'm in my early twenties, and at work I was training in a guy who's 60+. Don't get me wrong--it's not that age matters; it's that I struggle to merely relate to my peers, and I'm already an anxious person (as you will see). Anyway, I quickly found out that the other trainers were doing a poor job of teaching the guy, so I took the burden of teaching him the fundamentals that he should have already known. All the while, my pile of work was accumulating. In short, I spent five times longer with him than I should have, and by the end I was so frustrated about not getting to my work that my demeanor towards him was beginning to reveal my thoughts. When I first realized this, I profusely apologized. However, as the shift went on, I couldn't get myself out of my snit, and I continued to be short with him.

That was two days ago and I'm still mulling over this. Gah, I'm ashamed of myself.

[pirateninja]

I'm really not cool at all. :lol: And it really doesn't bother me :D

Ummm wait a sec, who is it that had like, five people crushing on her at once??

If that's not cool, I don't know what is...

No, seriously :D I'm a complete oddball with oddball friends.

*ponders* but then again, some people would consider me an individual with individual friends.....

Ah well, either way, I like who I am. This thread has too many depressing secrets, so here's a nice one.

[ColbieMarie]

Ah well, either way, I like who I am. This thread has too many depressing secrets, so here's a nice one.

Most secrets are depressing tho. Or embarrassing. People don't usually keep exciting secrets to themselves.

[Midnight Angel]

Sometimes, some gay guys really drive me insane. A lot of the time, on EC and otherwise, any time women are mentioned, a gay guy will jump in going "ewww" or "this is why I'm glad I'm gay" or something like that. I understand that you're not attracted to women, but the "OMG a vagina it's hideous get it away from me" reaction is ridiculous when you could just hit back and move on.

I agree with you a lot actually. This bothers me a lot when this happens.

[Anonymous]

You want good secrets? :grin:

Mine - I love long journeys because I create little stories and lives involving the people I see in the cars or on the street. Like the woman I see walking along the road will be married to the man I see driving a car a few minutes later, and they will have children who go to the school I pass etc. It's weird, but it's fun. :D

[ColbieMarie]

I saw Twilight last night and I fell in love with Edward each time he came back on screen.

I don't remember the last time I felt so straight.

[Anonymous]

I feel dirty for masturbating so much...

[seanathon]

Je veux un petit-ami qui parle français, même si j'en parle seulement un petit peu. C'est ça que je trouve absolument extraordinaire et complètement beau. Je veux lui parler pour heures en français, disant tous les petits secrets lesquels nous cachons de la monde.

Viens me chercher un jour, s'il te plaît. J'attendrai. ~<3

[Drizzt DoUrden]

I feel dirty for masturbating so much...

I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside from masturbating so much... Must be the endorphins :p

[Numfarh]

Je veux un petit-ami qui parle français, même si j'en parle seulement un petit peu. C'est ça que je trouve absolument extraordinaire et complètement beau. Je veux lui parler pour heures en français, disant tous les petits secrets lesquels nous cachons de la monde.

Viens me chercher un jour, s'il te plaît. J'attendrai. ~<3

Move to Montreal!
There's tons of us secret-keeping french folk up here.
:icon_bigg

[Étoile]

Je veux un petit-ami qui parle français, même si j'en parle seulement un petit peu. C'est ça que je trouve absolument extraordinaire et complètement beau. Je veux lui parler pour heures en français, disant tous les petits secrets lesquels nous cachons de la monde.

Viens me chercher un jour, s'il te plaît. J'attendrai. ~<3

Je parle et écris français, mais mon français est horrible. LOL Peut-être si nous parlons dans anglais, nous soyons joyeux, n'est pas? Ou achètes-moi la glace (PAS la vanille ou le chocolat s'il te plat!).

[Anonymous]

The plot thickens in the epic journey of my sexual self discovery.

[Trumpetplyer23]

Holy Martha Stewart baking blueberrry muffins in prison! :eek:

I've fallen for a guy. That hasn't happened in awhile. Most of the guys I know do nothing for me....but, this guy. This guy is different.

[EM68]

The plot thickens in the epic journey of my sexual self discovery.

Its a long journey. Its full of up and downs! Just take your time and do everything at your own pace.

[Ronnie92]

I made a new EC friend n_n

[Anonymous]

One of my mates thinks I will commit suicide when I am older. How grim... :confused:

[nodoubtjunkie]

I bought a dress today.

[Anonymous]

One of my mates thinks I will commit suicide when I am older. How grim... :confused:

charming of your friend

[Anonymous]

My career goal is to be a porn star

[Anonymous]

Even though I am sixteen, I am still attracted to 12-13 year olds and I'm scared I wont out grow it.

[ColbieMarie]

I think my friends have something up their sleeves.

[ccdd]

I bought a dress today.

So did I!!!!!!!

(which is HIGHLY unusual for me)

[ccdd]

I think I might be straight.

I sometimes think this too.

(But then I remember this girl...)

Seriously, though, I think a lot of us have doubts - which may or not be justified. Sometimes I'm good with it, sometimes not.

[Anonymous]

I came here because I can no longer rely on support from my friends

Now all my topics get ignored and I'm starting to think that there's nowhere I can go where people care

[nodoubtjunkie]

I bought a dress today.

So did I!!!!!!!

(which is HIGHLY unusual for me)

I thought it was quite a momentous occasion too! It's the first dress I ever bought. I'm rather pleased with it.

Also, new secret, I'm doing one last thing for my mum. I'm going to her birthday meal, as planned, it's been planned for months, I'm not going to go and sit with them or anything, or but in on their night, but I am going to be there. And I am going to sing. I'm going to sing 'Hallelujah' by Jeff Buckley, her all time favourite song. It's been her favourite song for as long as I remember. I think this is the last chance that I have to say to her that you know, i love her, but you gotta let me go, type of thing. After I do this, she never has to see me again.
I've got till the 13th December to prepare. It's been a long time since I've performed in public, and to be honest, i'm wetting myself. But I gotta do this, its just one of those things that I'm gonna do to get closure with my mum.
Oh, and probably the most important part of this whole escapade...my mum doesn't know I sing.

:eusa_whis

[Anonymous]

I'm so bloody guarded that I don't even make proper posts on this site. Just idle banter.

[Anonymous]

I'm about to finish university, in less than a month, and I'm unsettled for a few reasons:

a) I don't know if my final project for one of my courses is going to be "good enough" to pass.

b) I don't know where I'm going to work afterward, after all I have to enter the "real world"

c) I'm going to miss the eye candy at school.

d) Friends moving away.

[Numfarh]

I love my roommate. She has been my best friend for years.

I can't believe that I never noticed her depression. I invited her out, but she always declined. Now she's moving back out west and I need to find a new roomate. And I can't help but think that it's all her fault. She didn't try hard enough.

I hate myself.

Also: The guy I have fallen for won't cheat on his girlfriend. This just goes to prove that he is a good person and therefore would make an excellent boyfriend. :icon_sad:

[Numfarh]

On another note,

I definately have a quasi-date with a girl. I say quasi because she has a boyfriend. All I have to remember is that I cannot fall for her. Friends with benefits. That is what this is about.

Yay?

(ALSO: OHOHO. Double posting.)

[Numfarh]

UPDATE:

Guy has invited me over to his apartment. Should I go over? Or should I just go to sleep?

PS. I'm on your forumz, monopolizing ur threadz.:lol:

[Anonymous]

I came here because I can no longer rely on support from my friends

Now all my topics get ignored and I'm starting to think that there's nowhere I can go where people care

People care. (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for not wanting to date a guy who has somewhat of a stereotypical gay voice, but I can't help but be turned off by it.
I also feel like it isn't their real speaking voice.

[Anonymous]

im feeling realy lonely and deppresed and i wish i had the guts to tell ppl how i feel rather then hold my feelings in.

[Anonymous]

I know this sounds stupid and I guess it's not true but it feels like life is going to end after graduating high school. It's more because after high school, there's college where people have a bunch of fun, then after college there's the real world, then we get old and yeah. The sooner college comes, the sooner old age comes.

I'm basically afraid of growing up

I also hope really badly that there will be a good amount of gay guys to potentially date in college :o

I'm both expecting a reply and not expecting a reply
there are so many posts on here that want to be answered but which ones get a reply?

[Anonymous]

im feeling realy lonely and deppresed and i wish i had the guts to tell ppl how i feel rather then hold my feelings in.

There are a lot of people who are lonely and get depressed and don't show it. I get depressed and don't really tell anyone, at least not in real life.
Keep looking for someone, or look harder if you want to find someone.

[Anonymous]

i agree but its just not finding a bf its having all this emotion and being sad and not telling anyone how i feel

[Anonymous]

I have so many depressing secrets it would bring this thread to a new level of secret depression.

[Anonymous]

I went into my roommates office to see if she had her flight schedule on her desk. Instead I found she has not paid the mortgage since April and is filing for bankruptcy. Looks like I'll be having to move AGAIN. Just when I was starting to really feel settled. What really pisses me off is that she has had all kinds of work done on the house. All new concrete, enclosed the back porch, yard graded and sod put in, all new exterior doors. Then there is all the ebay stuff and other packages from amazon.com that have been arriving, the trip to Europe and her recent flight out of state to see a friend. So really what my rent money is going towards is her trips and crap...... GGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't need a lot to be happy, but I feel like life is forcing me to do so much more just to get by.

[isnessofwhatis]

I don't need a lot to be happy, but I feel like life is forcing me to do so much more just to get by.

I so totally agree with you!!! I just need enough to have a roof over my head and some food to eat.

[Anonymous]

im falling for a girl who is going oversea's for 2 months...
i did everything to spend time with her in her last week here...
i even has sex with her... (well, she had sex with me)
i freaked out and didnt tell her it was my frist time...

now im all hung up on her, tho im feeling guilty for myself, because i lost my virginity,

and i wanted to say no the whole time it was happening - but didnt want to embarass myself because i said i wanted too....
it hurt... and i think im starting to regret it...

[Paul_UK]

I came here because I can no longer rely on support from my friends

Now all my topics get ignored and I'm starting to think that there's nowhere I can go where people care

There is always the option to PM one of the advisors. Just click Forum Leaders from the front page and PM whoever you feel may be able to help. That's why they are here!

I'm so bloody guarded that I don't even make proper posts on this site. Just idle banter.

This Anonymous section is for stuff like that, you can post and nobody will know who you are.

UPDATE:

Guy has invited me over to his apartment. Should I go over? Or should I just go to sleep?


GO! I don't know who Guy is or what the situation is, but any time with other people has got to be better than time on your own.

[Anonymous]

I feel so unloved.

[EM68]

For the first time in it seems forever,I truly feel happy! I have a now job I absolutely love and I now know what I am looking for. I have gotten rid of my self hate. Now if I can only find a bf. :eusa_danc

Yesterday I was getting my haircut, and the woman that cuts my hair told me that she could tell I was happy. I was tempted to come out to her but she is good friends with my brother.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes when I weigh myself, the scale just says FATASS.

Putting on makeup in the morning feels like shit polishing.

Sometimes when I'm stressed I cut myself, because I'm excersising the fact that I have way too much control.

I hate my father.

I'm obssessed with bondage. The idea that someone can trust someone else to hurt them is astounding.

It hurts that I don't have a best friend, but I'm not truly looking for one. I'm looking for someone to take care of me and control because I'm nothing but the chick with the daddy issues.

Phew, I think that's all. I love this thread.

[Anonymous]

I nearly flushed my dad's glasses in eighth grade. Very nearly. And I almost scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. I was pissed.

[Numfarh]

I went into my roommates office to see if she had her flight schedule on her desk. Instead I found she has not paid the mortgage since April and is filing for bankruptcy. Looks like I'll be having to move AGAIN. Just when I was starting to really feel settled. What really pisses me off is that she has had all kinds of work done on the house. All new concrete, enclosed the back porch, yard graded and sod put in, all new exterior doors. Then there is all the ebay stuff and other packages from amazon.com that have been arriving, the trip to Europe and her recent flight out of state to see a friend. So really what my rent money is going towards is her trips and crap...... GGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude. That flippin' sucks. I hope you don't get dragged down with her.

[Anonymous]

On another note,

I definately have a quasi-date with a girl. I say quasi because she has a boyfriend. All I have to remember is that I cannot fall for her. Friends with benefits. That is what this is about.

Yay?

(ALSO: OHOHO. Double posting.)

friends with benefits?
good grief.
watch out.
it took a week, just a week! for me and this girl to slip into more than that. it was never meant to happen but it did
what a mess

[Anonymous]

I hate my father.

Join the club :p

[Anonymous]

I hate my father.

Join the club :p

i wish i knew mine to work out whether or not i should hate him
i havent seen him since i was 2
but i'm too terrified to ask my mum about him
we dont talk about him
it would be easier to bring up my sexuality than my father!!:tears:

[Anonymous]

I never want to be so old that i'm gross and creepy and can't do anything. I dont' think I'll allow myself to grow that old.

[Anonymous]

i would actually want to be terminated before 50
ok,some people keep working and have fulfilled lives
but seriously, why would i wana be here if i'mnot doing anything. ok, its nice for the elderly to enjoy retirement after a long working life, but i dont think i'd want to retire. i'd have to be up and about and doing crazy exciting things. and once that wasnt possible anymore theres not much use in me.
i wouldnt want to be incapable of looking after myself either
drastic much?!?!

[Numfarh]

On another note,

I definately have a quasi-date with a girl. I say quasi because she has a boyfriend. All I have to remember is that I cannot fall for her. Friends with benefits. That is what this is about.

Yay?

(ALSO: OHOHO. Double posting.)

friends with benefits?
good grief.
watch out.
it took a week, just a week! for me and this girl to slip into more than that. it was never meant to happen but it did
what a mess

Well, I have difficulties getting close to people anyways. I have the "want-it-when-you-can't-have-it-and-then-when-you-can-you-don't-want-it" syndrome. But thank you for your concern.:)

[Asteroid]

im feeling realy lonely and deppresed and i wish i had the guts to tell ppl how i feel rather then hold my feelings in.

Hi there, I am sorry that you feel this way. (*hug*)

Don't leave your feelings inside. Talking about your feelings is always better than not talking about it. If you want, start telling us how you feel and what ever you need to talk about. Use the anonymous section if you want. I'm sure other members including advisors will respond. Maybe starting to write things out here on EC will help you to overcome the fear of talking to people about it as well. It's always hard to start talking about things with others. But once you start you will see that people are here for you. Maybe try talking to a counselor at your school as well. The sessions are confidential and counselors can and do provide you with valuable feedback and help.

[Anonymous]

I'm having a hard time writing my college application essays. It would be easier if I were out, because then I would have something more interesting to talk about. But then, I don't want that to define me anyway, so maybe it's better to talk about something else.

Also, I feel just a tiny bit bad for not missing my erstwhile best friend/crush now that he's away at college. But just a tiny bit. For the most part, I'm... glad? Relieved?

And finally, I am a very awkward person. I lack common sense, which leads to many awkward/embarrassing moments every day. Worse yet, I have a tendency to remember all of these little moments for months. I can just be strolling along at work and all of a sudden I'll have a flashback about some incident where I did something dumb.

[Anonymous]

I'm having a hard time writing my college application essays. It would be easier if I were out, because then I would have something more interesting to talk about. But then, I don't want that to define me anyway, so maybe it's better to talk about something else.

Also, I feel just a tiny bit bad for not missing my erstwhile best friend/crush now that he's away at college. But just a tiny bit. For the most part, I'm... glad? Relieved?

And finally, I am a very awkward person. I lack common sense, which leads to many awkward/embarrassing moments every day. Worse yet, I have a tendency to remember all of these little moments for months. I can just be strolling along at work and all of a sudden I'll have a flashback about some incident where I did something dumb.

I know how you feel. I have a really hard time forgetting those stupid things I've done. Then to beat myself up even more I do more stupid stuff; which has lead to the horrible financial situation I'm in right now.

[Anonymous]

slightly random secret, but, I love my friends so much that I am always complaining about them to other people, because it's my way of showing them off, and being able to talk about them without coming across as gushy and lame :)
:icon_bigg <3 my friends

[XXX Lou XXX]

I hate my father.

Join the club :p

i wish i knew mine to work out whether or not i should hate him
i havent seen him since i was 2
but i'm too terrified to ask my mum about him
we dont talk about him
it would be easier to bring up my sexuality than my father!!:tears:

(*hug*) I feel exactly the same. I've never met my dad. He left my mum before I was born. All I know is that he pissed off back to Ireland. Like you, i'm scared to ask about him. I don't even know if it's worth it anymore...

[Anonymous]

I think I might've been raped today...I'm not sure. It definitely wasn't 100% consensual.

[ColbieMarie]

I think I might've been raped today...I'm not sure. It definitely wasn't 100% consensual.

I'm pretty sure if it wasn't consensual then it's rape.

[Anonymous]

When everyone was gone, I totally licked up his water bottle. Hell, it's the closest I'll ever come to a kiss :tears:

[mediumdietcoke]

I never want to be so old that i'm gross and creepy and can't do anything. I dont' think I'll allow myself to grow that old.

I always told myself I'd commit suicide after I turned 40, but now I realize (even though I'm 16 now) that my life will just be starting!!!
:D

[Anonymous]

I really like him. I shouldn't allow myself to like him. Why'd I even try... Why'd I even ...


Gah...


I guess my secret is...



I Found the one flaw about being a Green. (Personality color... blue, orange, gold, green. I'm a green.)

[Anonymous]

I'm worried that by definition I'm a slut... I know I'm not, but I sort of want your opinion:

I dated a girl for a month (my second month of college, and first relationship). she broke up with me a week ago. two nights ago i hooked up with a gay guy, and I think we're probably dating :D

so, what's the verdict? i feel like I won't be taken seriously, withe there being only a week between relationships.

-Please help this queer guy.
:help:

[Jerr]

I'm worried that by definition I'm a slut... I know I'm not, but I sort of want your opinion:

I dated a girl for a month (my second month of college, and first relationship). she broke up with me a week ago. two nights ago i hooked up with a gay guy, and I think we're probably dating :D

so, what's the verdict? i feel like I won't be taken seriously, withe there being only a week between relationships.

-Please help this queer guy.
:help:

Verdict is in and slut you are not.

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy on facebook a lot lately. But none of what he says seems to be flirting at all. I really want to make out with him. I keep thinking about which lingerie I would wear if we were to fool around. (Even tho I've never done anything that involved the removal of clothing before) The thing, he's uber republican and pretty conservative. I don't know what he'd think about me liking boys AND GIRLS.

[Anonymous]

I think that Maddy (firecausesburns) is beautiful.

[firecausesburns]

I think that Maddy (firecausesburns) is beautiful.


Aww, you just made my day! Thank you, whoever you are (*hug*) (Any hints, by the way? :lol:)

[Asteroid]

I feel so unloved.

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

i wish so badly i could just tell my crush how i really feel about her. i think she may feel the same. i know she is bisexual and likes me as a friend. i just wish... </3

[Anonymous]

I feel horrible...

I have a crush on this girl. She's so beautiful, but i'm tired of the straight-girl crushes...But the thing is, I don't think she's straight. I think she's at the stage in acceptance that I was at 2 years ago.

I kind of got in too deep with a girl a while ago, she really, really liked me but I couldn't feel that strongly about her. And now, I don't know how to talk to her anymore, I just wanna be friends.

And now, a guy in one of my classes likes me, and is determined to ask me out I don't know how to tell him I don't like guys.

:(

[Asteroid]

I feel horrible...

I have a crush on this girl. She's so beautiful, but i'm tired of the straight-girl crushes...But the thing is, I don't think she's straight. I think she's at the stage in acceptance that I was at 2 years ago.

if you feel strongly about her, maybe try to get to know her better. Getting to know her will allow you to figure out whether she is questioning her sexual identity and whether there is a chance that this could develop into something further. It's always best to assume that someone is straight until they tell you otherwise. Remember that crushes often come and go and it could be that after a while you realize that there might not be enough for a relationship. What to do? Try to get to know her. Talk with her. Try to be a friend first.


I kind of got in too deep with a girl a while ago, she really, really liked me but I couldn't feel that strongly about her. And now, I don't know how to talk to her anymore, I just wanna be friends.

Why do you think or say you can't talk with her? You were honest with her and that counts for a lot in any relationship. If you want to be friends with her try to enjoy her company as a friend. Go to the movies, do fun stuff together. Sure there might still be some awkwardness for you and also for her But with time this will pass. Try to strike up a conversation with her and show her that you want to be a friend and that you are a friend.


And now, a guy in one of my classes likes me, and is determined to ask me out I don't know how to tell him I don't like guys.

If it is difficult for you to tell him that you don't like guys, maybe you could tell him gently that you don't feel the same way about him, but maybe you two could be friends and see what he says.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I think that Maddy (firecausesburns) is beautiful.

I think that half of EC is hot... *drools*

[ColbieMarie]

I delete my mom's junk email.

[Anonymous]

I pick my nose and still use the keyboard and mouse afterwards.

[gutsrie]

Even though I'm gay and I'm here on this site, I still feel so out of place sometimes... Could be just me.

[Anonymous]

I pick my nose and still use the keyboard and mouse afterwards.

Me too.

[Lexington]

^ Me three. I won't even be anonymous about it. :)

Lex

[Asteroid]

I pick my nose and still use the keyboard and mouse afterwards.

Me too.

^ Me three. I won't even be anonymous about it. :)

Lex

Me too....:)

[Anonymous]

If someone is so much as nice to me in reality, I become obsessed and clingy. This has cost me friendships.

[ColbieMarie]

I hate when people lie just for the sake of lying.

[Anonymous]

I pick my nose and still use the keyboard and mouse afterwards.

Me too.

^ Me three. I won't even be anonymous about it. :)

Lex

Me too....:)

Me five.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad rejecting the boys(and girls) that like me
: l

[Anonymous]

I've never even had people tell me they like me so I could reject them.

[ColbieMarie]

I feel bad rejecting the boys(and girls) that like me
: l

I've never rejected a girl because a girl has never liked me (that I know of)

I've rejected one boy when I was 10, he was 12 or 13 and one of my mom's students and kinda a creep.

And one boy when I was 15, and I actually did like him, but I've always been afraid of relationships (I now know that he knew he was gay at the time)

And one boy when I was 18. I don't feel bad about this one because he was a creep and like I talked to him once for like 30 seconds and then he went home and searched for me on facebook/myspace but he only knew my first name so he spent hours searching for me (and told about the hours he spent searching). He was just strange, and when I did reject him he defriended me on both facebook and myspace.

[Anonymous]

I pick my nose and still use the keyboard and mouse afterwards.

Me too.

^ Me three. I won't even be anonymous about it. :)

Lex

Me too....:)

Me five.

Kinda along the same lines.
I don't wash my hands after I go to the bathroom unless I'm in a public bathroom or I think my hands are dirty.
I do however wash my hands about 6 times every day at work (working with kids can be gross).

[davo-man]

I gots a crush on my straight mate :D Pretty sure he knows i think he's hot, since I told him it's a shame that he's straight hehehe good times!

Also, got another hot straight mate, who also knows I think he's hot...probably cos me and my best friend joke about him being so hot all the time...and have asked him what he would do for money ;)

[Anonymous]

I am currently sitting on the toilet going to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

I'm turning in an edited version of my friend's essay.

[Anonymous]

I really like the guy I'm seeing but it feels like it's only friends with benefits. I don't feel like we click.

I don't want to hurt him, but it's hurting me every day.

[Anonymous]

I'm turning in an edited version of my friend's essay.

I cheated on a test yesterday...big time.
It was a group test, but my partner had an answer key.
We made 125% on it. I guess we somehow got extra credit.
We finished within like 10 minutes though.
I bet my teacher's gonna be suspicious...:(

I'm now cheating on the person that I'm cheating on my boyfriend with.
It's getting complicated.
I'm such a whore.

[Anonymous]

my love for this girl is making me so sick. i'm been anxious and sick for the past three days and i just can't shake it. so lovesick. :icon_redf :confused: :bang:

[Anonymous]

I really, really need to get laid soon. It's been over 2 years since the last time, that's bloody depressing.

[Anonymous]

I never told anybody what my grandfather did to me when I was staying at his house.

[Anonymous]

Feel like my life conspires against me - weird stuff too.

[Anonymous]

Me and my siblings lost a year of school because my mom thought that my dad was stalking us and we had to move 3000 miles away.
We had to hide - we couldn't call any of our friends or relatives or communicate with them in any way.
It turns out that he's horribly violent (he tried to kill his other wife) but also that she has paranoid personality disorder.

Now I don't know which one to believe...

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid of everyone. Yep - you too!

[Anonymous]

If I have to listen to my sister talk about Twilight for another day I will shove that book down her throat.

[Anonymous]

I want to tell my GSA about Empty Closets, but I feel kinda protective about it, like it's my place, and it has my secrets and I don't want them to know about it.

It's too much of a treasure to give away... :(

[Anonymous]

i have little confidence in myself when i need it most.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what makes me so impossible to love.

[Ronnie92]

I think the guy who finally convinced me to come out as a crush on me.

[Anonymous]

I am scared by the idea of meeting any other gay guy, mainly because i think i am not good enough, i dont have great fashion taste, im not cool, im not alternative and im not hot.
I pretend to have a decent ego around my friends but truthfully i hate my body and wish i were cooler.

[Anonymous]

its been like 4 months and im not over my ex...and this week ive found out hes going out with a guy i met and became friends with, who i introduced him to, behind my back. I feel betrayed and very depressed.

[Anonymous]

Honestly meeting guys is really easy for me now, but when I enter the real world (I'm in high school) I'm afraid that I will not have the same luck.

[Anonymous]

I hate sex.

Why? Because my partner...sucks at it. Which is ridiculous because he's WAY more experinced than me.

[LostBoy]

I put up an outer shell that I'm totally fine but on the inside I feel l want to scream out that I'm gay but know my surrounding aren't ready to accept it. And I think about how much I loathe people in relationships and I haven't even had my first boyfriend. How much I want to ask my crushes but by asking I open the closet door which is remaing shut until I'm 18.I am a brick wall on the outside and crumbling on the inside

[Anonymous]

i'm sure she said "i love ya" really quickly this morning in bed,so i kissed her,i kissed her for ages so she couldnt say another word:eek::eek::eek:

[Anonymous]

I need some physical attention.

[Anonymous]

I am scared by the idea of meeting any other gay guy, mainly because i think i am not good enough, i dont have great fashion taste, im not cool, im not alternative and im not hot.
I pretend to have a decent ego around my friends but truthfully i hate my body and wish i were cooler.

I know what you mean cuz I am in the same category, but my partner doesn't care about that stuff. I don't think this should rule your life!

[Anonymous]

I think I'm in an experimenting phase that I will outgrow when I'm done with college.

[Anonymous]

I lost almost all of my female friends when I came out, and I feel like I'm never going to have a really close, affectionate friendship with another girl, because none of the girls I know are comfortable even touching me.

[pirateninja]

I have a thing for *ahem* "mature" women. I can get a crush on someone old enough to be my mother :eusa_doh:

[Anonymous]

You don't know that when you ignored me just now, I started cutting again.

Please text me back and get me out of this house.

[Anonymous]

I had a sex dream involving being walked in on by my mom while being dominated by Chuck Norris, which then turned into an argument about racial epithets.

But most importantly, I was being dominated by Chuck Norris. Ew.

[Anonymous]

I'm crushing like crazy on a straight guy two years younger than I am (I'm a senior in high school). I try to stop myself from getting depressed over it by telling myself that I'm happy... that I'm going to be okay. I guess it's halfway-working.

Also, I really want to make out with kiss a guy. Like, now. I'm not too picky... I could think of at least fifteen that I know.

[Anonymous]

Recently I had a dream I (girl) was kissing one of my friends (girl). Then I had a dream I was kissing her boyfriend. Then I had a dream I was kissing a different friend. I think I'm in a really horny mood.

[thespanishheart]

Hell, I have a crush on a couple people that are two years younger than myself! haha I even have one on a guy two years older than me! Nothing wrong with that :icon_bigg

I'm crushing like crazy on a straight guy two years younger than I am (I'm a senior in high school). I try to stop myself from getting depressed over it by telling myself that I'm happy... that I'm going to be okay. I guess it's halfway-working.

Also, I really want to make out with kiss a guy. Like, now. I'm not too picky... I could think of at least fifteen that I know.

[Anonymous]

I have liked this one person since I was FOUR. I'm 17 now. I just connected to another profile of his off facebook. It says he's bi. I'm shocked. He never said, I never knew, and I still love him. At one one point he liked me too.

[Anonymous]

I cry almost everyday because I know that one day I will have to tell my dad that his only son is gay, and I know from that day on he will never speak to me.

[Anonymous]

my brother and sister in law didn't tell me about a big, once in a lifetime, event in my nieces life. I directly asked them to tell me when this even would take place so I could be there, but did they do it, NO. I found out that it had taken place when i looked at some pictures on a digital picture frame after thanksgiving dinner. I was/am so pissed.

[Anonymous]

I fall for people online because there's no one in real life.

[Paul_UK]

Also, I really want to make out with kiss a guy. Like, now. I'm not too picky...

Me too....

[Anonymous]

I wish I wasn't totally alone. I think I just ruined the only friendship I've got left.

[Anonymous]

I'm in love with someone who's older than me. They'll never know how I really feel and that makes me sad

[Anonymous]

I wish I wasn't totally alone. I think I just ruined the only friendship I've got left.

Im now sure I did. No one has ever driven me tears by text message before. I've lost the most important person in my life over a silly little request.

[Paul_UK]

I wish I wasn't totally alone. I think I just ruined the only friendship I've got left.

Im now sure I did. No one has ever driven me tears by text message before. I've lost the most important person in my life over a silly little request.

(*hug*) Are you sure it is this serious? That words haven't been misunderstood due to lack of facial expression etc? Is it worth calling him/her to tell them how you feel?

[Anonymous]

I wish I wasn't totally alone. I think I just ruined the only friendship I've got left.

Im now sure I did. No one has ever driven me tears by text message before. I've lost the most important person in my life over a silly little request.

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I suspect that I am going to be out to everybody imminently.

[Anonymous]

I stay up doing random things until i am completely exhausted just so there's no time for me to lay in bed and think about my life.

[Anonymous]

I hump things when I'm hyper or excited.

[Drizzt DoUrden]

I wish I wasn't totally alone. I think I just ruined the only friendship I've got left.

Im now sure I did. No one has ever driven me tears by text message before. I've lost the most important person in my life over a silly little request.

Trust me, I know how that feels. It f*cking sucks.

[Anonymous]

Tonight I went to the mall by myself...wearing sweats and looking gross.

Then I went to the movies and saw Twilight...by myself.

My mom texted me while I was in the movie and I told her I was seeing a different movie with a Jessica and James.

Wow, I'm feeling pretty pathetic right about now.

[Anonymous]

Also, I really want to make out with kiss a guy. Like, now. I'm not too picky...

Same.

________

<? if (0 < 1) {
echo('I will die alone');
} ?>

________

Based on a friend thinking they saw a hug between me and a girl as actually being us making out, heaps of people think that we're going out even though we're not. (The two people other than myself mentioned both know that I like guys too.) So now I've got the alleged lover's name in my MSN name with a heart and when I tried to take it out people wondered what was wrong so I had to put it back in. I feel so bad about lying to people (we have been playing along with this) and it's been going on since early August. I feel so bad.


3-for-the-price-of-1 (too bad they were free).

[Anonymous]

^ Posting that made me realise how pathetic I am and now I'm crying a bit >_<

[Anonymous]

I suspect that I am going to be out to everybody imminently.

i'm sorry. i didn't mean to.

but meaning doesn't matter when you break a promise.
when you're the villain.

[Anonymous]

I wish I wasn't totally alone. I think I just ruined the only friendship I've got left.

Im now sure I did. No one has ever driven me tears by text message before. I've lost the most important person in my life over a silly little request.

(*hug*) Are you sure it is this serious? That words haven't been misunderstood due to lack of facial expression etc? Is it worth calling him/her to tell them how you feel?

I'm pretty sure. I'll let things settle down and see later in the week. Thanks Paul.

[Anonymous]

I haven't brushed my teeth since Friday morning....


What?

[Anonymous]

I haven't brushed my teeth since Friday morning....


What?

Why?:eek:

[Anonymous]

I won't let myself fall in love again. It never ever ends well.

DONT DO IT....

Stop thinking about her...

[Anonymous]

i am afraid of coming out, i think of my self as bi, because i liek girls.. but i like men more.. and.. i have crushed on older men.. and not being able to tell them drives me crazy.. because i'm afraid of how they'd react when i tell them...:icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

I haven't brushed my teeth since Friday morning....


What?

Why?:eek:

Idk, sometimes I don't brush them at night because I'm too lazy when I go to bed...but I've been really lazy the past few days and haven't really left the house//got ready.

It's ok because I brushed them tonight before I went out to dinner.

[Anonymous]

I'm obsessed with twilight. I've seen the movie twice already (once by myself). Now I keep listening to the sound track and picturing what part of the movie each song was in. I plan to see the movie multiple times over break. And re read the book (for the like 6th time) when I'm done with finals. This is getting a little ridiculous.

[Drizzt DoUrden]

I hereby announce that when someone matters to me, I will tell them. No more internalized feelings. (For the next few minutes anyways...)

[Pinstripe]

Today at school we found out that our Head of Year is leaving at the end of this school year (which finishes on Wednesday the 10th). This has come as a huge shock to us all and heaps of us were crying (all boys school, too).

And whenever I listen to/watch Hannah Montana and High School Musical, I will think of him (he frequently mentioned how his daughters watched/listened to those frequently)

This is super depressing (for me, anyway).

He was going to leave at the end of next year (which would have been our final year at school) but his health forced him to make the decision.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUU... !

The worst part was that he felt so bad about it, he kept apologising to us like his health was something he could control.

And because of this I actually gave my boxcutter and an exacto knife that I use for artistic purposes to put in his locker so I wouldn't (accidentally or otherwise) do something bad with them.

I know it's best for him, but it would have been easier to deal with if we had more time to get used to the idea (although he said that he only made up his mind on the 29th of November (last Saturday)).

He called the whole year level (about 120 boys) to a meeting during the day when we would normally be in class. When he was telling us (which he did so in a round-a-bout way) he was obviously uncomfortable and felt really bad. He kept apologising to us and I felt really bad for him. He shouldn't have to feel the need to apologise to us but he did.

I also feel bad because I feel like I cried more about this than I did when my grandmother died earlier this year (maybe because that was more expected than this...)

Sorry for the whole rambling-ness of this.

I'm not angry at him, not at all. I don't even know why I'm sad really. >_<

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to go on a cutting binge?

My arms and legs look like I was thrown in a wood chipper.
I am so glad it is winter.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to go on a cutting binge?

My arms and legs look like I was thrown in a wood chipper.
I am so glad it is winter.

what set this off?

[Z3ni]

I find it hard to try and be happy.

[Anonymous]

I haven't brushed my teeth since Friday morning....


What?

its okay. i rarely ever brush mine and i've never had a cavity and the dentist says i have beautiful teeth. lol :icon_redf

[Anonymous]

I so badly want to help people with their issues, but most of the time, im not sure what to tell them :eusa_doh:

[Anonymous]

I so badly want to help people with their issues, but most of the time, im not sure what to tell them :eusa_doh:

Me too!! sometimes i sort of just want to be good and solve everyone's problems.. but.. sometimes situations are too hard for me.. and i can't figure a way out of it :(

[Anonymous]

I don't care what people think in real life, but I desperately want to be cool and memorable on EC.

[Anonymous]

I don't care what people think in real life, but I desperately want to be cool and memorable on EC.

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I have something of an eating problem, like binge eating disorder. Even if my digestive system is full, my taste buds often crave food. Moreover, my cravings take away my concentration, like today I couldn't focus on reading.

You see, finding a middle ground of satiety is difficult for me. At some point in a typical day I tend to either (1) have distracting cravings or (2) be uncomfortably full, which is distracting in itself. And even if I'm uncomfortably full, my cravings could persist.

But today was different. When my cravings really hit, I didn't give in. I somehow mustered my will and worked out a bit. Afterward I didn't feel particularly hungry(!), but I knew I should eat to refuel my body. Tomorrow morning I may even be genuinely hungry for a sizable breakfast.

This is another stage of progress for me. I'm proud of myself. :)

[Anonymous]

I don't care what people think in real life, but I desperately want to be cool and memorable on EC.

Dude, me too.

[ColbieMarie]

I so badly want to help people with their issues, but most of the time, im not sure what to tell them :eusa_doh:

I definitely thought you said I want to hit people with their issues. Like you get so annoyed when people complain that you want to just shove their issues up their nose (sideways), and I was about to agree with you and be like yeah, some people make big deals out of things that really they should just get over.

I read it wrong and now I'm a horrible person because I think people should suck it up and get over their issues by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Whenever I'm sad about things that are going on in my life I think about the people who have it way worse than me, and the fact that I can't deal with the little problems that i have makes me hate myself for being selfish and weak.

[Anonymous]

I really miss the old EC (before Dec '07) and the old members :(

[Anonymous]

We found out today that a former staff member at school is being charged by the police for assault (of the sexual kind, I believe) of some students while he was working at the school I go to.

A few years ago I tore my hip flexor at a school athletics event. The same staff member treated me. At the time I thought he was just doing his job, but looking back on it, I almost feel like a victim.

This is happening at a time when heaps of other bad stuff is happening too.

I don't want to speak to anyone about it, but I feel so... depressed about everything.

I also don't feel motivated to do anything at all, and I can't really see the point in working after I leave school. I can't even concentrate on things that I used to love doing.

Also, I didn't have anything to eat today at all (except for dinner because parents would suspect something otherwise).

I've cried on at least 6 different occasions in the past 2 days.

Not even last night's happy moon can make me happy.

[Anonymous]

Parents,

You lie to my face (and I know it too) and then you wonder why I don't tell you about my life/feelings.

Maybe if you were more honest with me I would be