Post Secret

[Urman]

Even though I'm a gay male, I still would like to have intercourse with a female before I die just to know how it feels.

This is completly normal and understandable i feel the same way also you still maybe curiouse which is still ok hope that help a bit.:)

[Connor]

Even though I'm a gay male, I still would like to have intercourse with a female before I die just to know how it feels.
I feel the same way, good luck!

[Anonymous]

I'm a dork!

[total mo]

I like all types of boys.

[Ty]

Im only slightly pissed off that I didn't get invited to one of my supposed best friends (for the past 7 years) 15th birthday party, yet everyone else was. Needless to say, I don't really speak to them anymore. Oh god I feel sad now -.- Their all assholes.

[Étoile]

It disturbs me how so many people my age are so homophobic and secretly racist and people think it's perfectly normal.:confused:

[Behling]

the person I trusted the most lied to me, broke my heart and caused me to cut for the first time in over half a year

[Anonymous]

I sometimes feel like right now the world is comming down on me and i cant deal with it anymore..... :(

[Anonymous]

the person I trusted the most lied to me, broke my heart and caused me to cut for the first time in over half a year

awww Behling! (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

Feel better.

Heh, I kinda have a crush on ^...

yea thats my secret. haha. :icon_redf

[Anonymous]

I sometimes feel like right now the world is comming down on me and i cant deal with it anymore..... :(

I cant take it anymore

[Anonymous]

I have a huge crush on Austina, Inarut and Behling

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of cute guys here that I wish were my rl friends.... not only because they're really cute, but they understand what's going on and... bah, it's not fair

[Anonymous]

I have no gay male friends in real life, and it's driving me crazy.

[biisme]

I sometimes feel like right now the world is comming down on me and i cant deal with it anymore..... :(

I cant take it anymore

(*hug*)(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

Behling, don't let him get to you. You can do so much better and you know it. You're an amazing person. You've got so many great qualities. You're infectious - very easy to fall for.

[Urman]

Behling, don't let him get to you. You can do so much better and you know it. You're an amazing person. You've got so many great qualities. You're infectious - very easy to fall for.

Agreed

[Behling]

you guys are all so amazing, I'm feeling a lot better (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
I love you guys

[Joey]

I have no gay male friends in real life, and it's driving me crazy.

Me too... it sucks a lot

[Miaplacidus]

I have no gay male friends in real life, and it's driving me crazy.

Me too... it sucks a lot

Neither do I... I tend to end up doing stuff with all the gay guys I know :( Yeah, sometimes I get desperate.

Now don't get me wrong, I might have kissed all of them but I haven't had sex with all the gay guys I know lol

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I feel extremely lost and I feel like i'll be alone forever, and because of those moments i secretly want to commit suicide but i'm too much of a wuss to do it.

[LOVEjames]

I have no gay male friends in real life, and it's driving me crazy.

Me too... it sucks a lot

Neither do I... I tend to end up doing stuff with all the gay guys I know :( Yeah, sometimes I get desperate.

Now don't get me wrong, I might have kissed all of them but I haven't had sex with all the gay guys I know lol

I hang out with all of my girlfriends, but like... never gay male friends. Before I joined EC, I never really had direct contact with the gay male world. :P

[KatoKumi]

A pet peeve of mine is when people say they don't like fast food.

And I don't know why.

[Anonymous]

It's annoying how I always seem to be the 'thread ender'. As soon as I reply, it dies. xD

[Anonymous]

It's annoying how I always seem to be the 'thread ender'. As soon as I reply, it dies. xD

Ha! I just proved you wrong!!! The thread lives on, despite you posting!!! :icon_wink

I'm sure it's just a conincidence! Keep posting.

[panda]

Sometimes I feel extremely lost and I feel like i'll be alone forever, and because of those moments i secretly want to commit suicide but i'm too much of a wuss to do it.

You're not a wuss!! You're smart!! You know that this will pass and you'll connect with the real you. (*hug*)

[LOVEjames]

xD I'm refusing anonymity.

I've totally given up on schoolwork because I'm dropping out to get my GED anyways. Like, I don't care if I have good grades or not, and neither does the community college that I'm going to. So I don't really see the point. But I don't want to fail. So I'm sorta like, "Derrrr."

[Anonymous]

I have exams in a few weeks, and I'm totally screwed. I just have to hope that I get a decent result this time :eusa_pray

the thing is, these exams aren't really THAT important, but my parents make such a big deal out of it, as if i'm taking my A levels or something.

[Anonymous]

One of my friends told me today that another friend of his is in love with him but hates that he loves him.

I realised that I feel the same way about him :rolleyes: i thought it was a stupid crush I was over. I kinda hate him for it too...

(there's a lot of he's and him's in that but i think it just about makes sense)

[Anonymous]

I don't want to start the meds my doctor gave me... so I'm not going to!

[EthanS]

I don't want to start the meds my doctor gave me... so I'm not going to!

Then if whatever its for gets worse or whatever, then its your fault

[LOVEjames]

Agreed with Ethan. The meds are supposed to help you and make it easier. You may not necessarily like them because you might think that they control your life or something. But they really don't. They make your life easier for you to control.

I'm assuming that these are anti-depressants or anti-psychotics or something. If they have to do with your physical well being... then well. It'd be idiotic not to talk them.

[Anonymous]

Agreed with Ethan. The meds are supposed to help you and make it easier. You may not necessarily like them because you might think that they control your life or something. But they really don't. They make your life easier for you to control.

I'm assuming that these are anti-depressants or anti-psychotics or something. If they have to do with your physical well being... then well. It'd be idiotic not to talk them.

Its never idiotic to decide not to put pills in your body.

[LOVEjames]

Unless you have an equally effective alternative, then I think that it is.

[Martin]

Of course it is. Medication pills aren't handed out because they taste nice, they're given because they are needed. Therefore it is idiotic to not take them if you do need them.

[panda]

Agreed with Ethan. The meds are supposed to help you and make it easier. You may not necessarily like them because you might think that they control your life or something. But they really don't. They make your life easier for you to control.

I'm assuming that these are anti-depressants or anti-psychotics or something. If they have to do with your physical well being... then well. It'd be idiotic not to talk them.

Its never idiotic to decide not to put pills in your body.

Idiotic is too strong a word.How about not sensible.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a long term commited relationship with a woman, and I love her madly, but I don't want to have sex with her anymore; I've also thought that I'm holding myself back from having a relationship with a guy because I'm afraid of hurting her...

[Behling]

The person I posted about a few days ago who I cared about more then anything now just wants to forget me because he feels bad about what he did to me. He is the person who I loved the most in the world and he said he felt the same way about me, now he wants nothing to do with me, even though I helped him out so many times. I just feel so horrible about all this :tears: :tears: :tears: He found someone else to date so now he just wants me out of his life :( He lied to me, he broke promises he made to me and its killing me

[joeyconnick]

Of course it is. Medication pills aren't handed out because they taste nice, they're given because they are needed. Therefore it is idiotic to not take them if you do need them.As a general rule it would be unwise but to be honest, psychiatric drugs do get massively over-prescribed and some doctors are just bad news. So I don't think it's a 100% unwise thing to not want to take certain meds. It would be better, however, to get a second opinion rather than ignore medical advice altogether.

[Anonymous]

I despise my sexuality more than anything I know.

[LOVEjames]

I'm not as accepting as I try to be, and that makes me incredibly depressed.

[Anonymous]

I got a 22 on my ACTs, and the majority of my classes are advanced D:

[Joey]

Not a secret or anything... but something really important that happened to me today in my philosophy class. My professor called me a "bright chap". Which is like... amazing seeing as how I idolize this man and I've never heard of him saying this to anybody else

[Paralyzer]

I just wanted to say that I'm really thankful for the advice I'm getting..
And I feel really guilty for not helping others at the momment. It's really weighing on my conscience. Please give me a few days to get back to par with myself.. haha.... sorry

[Anonymous]

I find some Chav chaps strikingly attractive... too bad they're all pretty much assholes.

[Anonymous]

My feelings about my best friend really confuse me.

Sometimes I think the only reason I say I'm bi is because I don't want to not get married.

None of my friends know that I have drank or smoked, heavily... And I really dont want them to.

Sometimes I think some of my friends dont really like me. But only when Im alone at home.

I think my best friend likes boys, but will never admit it.

I think I would get physical with one of my gay friends, but never get into a relationship.

[Anonymous]

My feelings about my best friend really confuse me.

Sometimes I think the only reason I say I'm bi is because I don't want to not get married.

None of my friends know that I have drank or smoked, heavily... And I really dont want them to.

Sometimes I think some of my friends dont really like me. But only when Im alone at home.

I think my best friend likes boys, but will never admit it.

I think I would get physical with one of my gay friends, but never get into a relationship.

When I say my feelings about him are confusing, I mean that mean that sometimes I think I am in love with him.

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to say that I'm really thankful for the advice I'm getting..
And I feel really guilty for not helping others at the momment. It's really weighing on my conscience. Please give me a few days to get back to par with myself.. haha.... sorry

Don't worry about it! We all have our ups and downs! (*hug*)

[Paralyzer]

So now I'm out to 4 people.. and it doesn't exactly feel like an alleviating experience.
When does it get euphoric? :( If anything, I have a headache.. but it's mostly my heart

[Paralyzer]

I have a better secret

I'm addicted to chapstick :P
(Strawberry) ooooh

(*hug*) My mood has changed for the better.. I got my first overly positive response for coming out : )

[The Enigmatic]

This isn't really a secret but I only just, no more than half an hour ago, told my siblings that I was gay.

[biisme]

This isn't really a secret but I only just, no more than half an hour ago, told my siblings that I was gay.

that's great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Enigmatic]

(!) Thanks they took it surprisingly well. I didn't tell them in a conventional way thou lol. I took my Brokeback mountain dvd and my fight homophobia sticker down to the lonuge room along with a piece of paper with "I'd rather eat a sausage than a taco" on it. I said to them "I own these two items for a reason",items being the dvd and sticker. I then said told them that this is the reason, turning around the piece of paper. I was actually so nervous that I was laughing. :roflmao: It took them a minute or two to get the meaning but in the end it was all ok.

As for a secret this one is nothing major - When I type my brain and hands sometimes do different thing. I'll be thinking of what to write my my hands automatically type something completely different. It's rather annoying sometimes and it's not like I'm making a typo i really do type completely different words to what I was meant to. :dry:

[Anonymous]

Haha, what a way to come out! I wish I came out like that!

[The Enigmatic]

(^-^) It was great I only wish I had done it sooner. :thumbsup:

[Anonymous]

I'm crushing on 4 girls at once and after this term I'll never see them again.... :(

[Anonymous]

I'm boring and don't know what to do about it.

[Anonymous]

you need to see the bright side of everything wont b easy but it'l help :) i think ¬_¬

[Anonymous]

I totally have a silly crush on this guy from EC.

[Kyle Tristan]

^ Me Too!!!! :lol:

[Anonymous]

I have two huge crushes on Martin and Behling, those two are HOT! :icon_redf

[Anonymous]

i concur

[Anonymous]

i have a bacteria infection 'down there'. :icon_redf i've got tablets to clear it up but what makes it worse is the fact that i'm not sexually active. i masturbate but i have never done anything more than kiss anyone else. apparantly this infection affects virgins and nuns (i am a virgin btw) according to my doctor which makes me feel a lot better. i can't drink for a full week while i'm taking these tablets as well, which will be hard to explain to people. i'm also in love with my friend who is straight. i really want to have sex but i want to find someone who cares about me which i am not having a lot of luck with.

i am so fed up with my life right now.:icon_sad: :tears: :help:

[Anonymous]

I was once playing a paintball game and a friend of mine dressed up in so much padding that he looked like a fat guy on the other team.

I shot him.

And he didn't know where it came from, so he ignored it.

Nobody saw!

[Anonymous]

Every time I check the New Posts and see that someone has posted something in the "Let someone know you're thinking of them." thread I read it as soon as possible in hopes that it's BT, my straight man-crush, somehow reaching out to let me know he feels the same.

[EthanS]

i have a bacteria infection 'down there'. :icon_redf i've got tablets to clear it up but what makes it worse is the fact that i'm not sexually active. i masturbate but i have never done anything more than kiss anyone else. apparantly this infection affects virgins and nuns (i am a virgin btw) according to my doctor which makes me feel a lot better. i can't drink for a full week while i'm taking these tablets as well, which will be hard to explain to people. i'm also in love with my friend who is straight. i really want to have sex but i want to find someone who cares about me which i am not having a lot of luck with.

i am so fed up with my life right now.:icon_sad: :tears: :help:

v..v Virgins??.. whats it called??

[Anonymous]

I kinda had sex with my best friend... Who has a boyfriend... Who I am friends with.

Oooops.

[Anonymous]

I have more fun with people I barely know than with my close friends.

[Anonymous]

I got a big crush on a delivery driver that started coming to where I work a couple of weeks ago. I found yesterday that he is straight. He mentioned his fiancée. :(

I should know better by now, but it still keeps happening. :(

[Anonymous]

I'm finding myself falling ever faster back into my depression. I'm terrified, but at the same time I feel so absolutely miserable I just don't care. I thought I was okay, that I'd beaten it, but it's coming back again and I don't know what to do.
I'm finding myself crying for no reason, and the slightest thing sets me off. I'm shaking and I'm just sitting in classes staring out the window because none of what I'm being taught means anything to me, it just goes in one ear and out the other, and then I fail. My best friends have left me, and I just find myself feeling so damn angry and spineless and frightened and all these other things which I know that I shouldn't be letting her make me feel.
I seriously hate life at the moment, and I know that sounds dramatic but I really just don't see the point when no one likes me, I can't keep friends, and none of my schooling is ever going to get me anywhere.

:( :tears:

[biisme]

I'm finding myself falling ever faster back into my depression. I'm terrified, but at the same time I feel so absolutely miserable I just don't care. I thought I was okay, that I'd beaten it, but it's coming back again and I don't know what to do.
I'm finding myself crying for no reason, and the slightest thing sets me off. I'm shaking and I'm just sitting in classes staring out the window because none of what I'm being taught means anything to me, it just goes in one ear and out the other, and then I fail. My best friends have left me, and I just find myself feeling so damn angry and spineless and frightened and all these other things which I know that I shouldn't be letting her make me feel.
I seriously hate life at the moment, and I know that sounds dramatic but I really just don't see the point when no one likes me, I can't keep friends, and none of my schooling is ever going to get me anywhere.

:( :tears:

(*hug*)(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

i'm sorry honey.

have you ever gotten help for your depression?

[Anonymous]

I find that when I have a crush on someone (whether it's from afar or up close), I tend to eat less and masturbate not at all.
I don't consciously make myself eat less, I just can't eat as much; however, it makes me feel a lot better about myself.


I kind of wish I could find another crush.

[Lexington]

>>>I thought I was okay, that I'd beaten it, but it's coming back again and I don't know what to do.

You never beat depression. You just get a handle on it. I pulled out of my first depression eventually, and went on to last almost fourteen YEARS before my next bout. I'm still dealing with it, but it's getting better. Still, the bad days suck. It not only feels like life sucks, but it has always sucked, and it won't ever get better. And it's hard to remember what it feels like to be "normal", even though that may have been only yesterday. There's a lot of "operating on faith" during my down times.

Good thoughts your way.

Lex

[EthanS]

You never beat depression.

:eek: That is not true

[Lexington]

Once a hit, always a threat. That doesn't mean you'll definitely fall in again, but it's always a distinct possibility.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I overdosed on medications to try to get my exhusband to pay attention to me.

I had sex with my brother in law when his wife was pregnant

[Anonymous]

I'm finding myself falling ever faster back into my depression. I'm terrified, but at the same time I feel so absolutely miserable I just don't care. I thought I was okay, that I'd beaten it, but it's coming back again and I don't know what to do.
I'm finding myself crying for no reason, and the slightest thing sets me off. I'm shaking and I'm just sitting in classes staring out the window because none of what I'm being taught means anything to me, it just goes in one ear and out the other, and then I fail. My best friends have left me, and I just find myself feeling so damn angry and spineless and frightened and all these other things which I know that I shouldn't be letting her make me feel.
I seriously hate life at the moment, and I know that sounds dramatic but I really just don't see the point when no one likes me, I can't keep friends, and none of my schooling is ever going to get me anywhere.

:( :tears:

(*hug*)(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

i'm sorry honey.

have you ever gotten help for your depression?

O.P here..

Yes I have, I went to see a doctor several times, and I saw my counsellor at school every week for six months. I have not been put on medication, because the first time around, I was too young (14), so it wasn't really "in my best interests" from my doctors point of veiw.

I dunno, I'm just feeling so stressed at the moment and I'm lacking the motivation to do anything, so I'm not even sure if I should tell my mum, she has no idea what's going on.
I just feel like...every time I try to get close to someone and have a friend, they find something about me and they hate me, like I'm not good enough for anybody. My last friend, I recently found out, hated the fact that I'm lesbian, and was physically repulsed enough that she thought I had a crush on her, when I never did.
But I just don't know if it's my fault or not. Maybe if I hadn't told her, she would have stayed friends with me??? I don't know..I just feel really hurt and depressed and I just want it all to end. I don't really want to die, but I don't really see the point of living when I hate my life, and I hate myself, and I hate the fact that I'm never going to go anywhere because even though I'm smart, I'm not smart enough to get into the courses I wanna do.
thanks for your help biisme/lex. means a lot.

Did you know I have more friends online then I do in real life?
In real life, I have hardly anybody, and online, while I love you all heaps...doesn't feel like it counts. I've never met any of you. I've never seen you, except for your DP's.
Am I greedy for wanting friends in person? real, honest friends? I didn't think that was a lot to ask, but maybe it was.

Maybe I should just shut the hell up and leave you all alone. No chance for anyone to get sick of me then.

[Anonymous]

One thing I've found here in my short time is that no one is gonna get sick of you and everyone is so nice. I understand your comment about mor friends on line than in person. Sometimes the right people don't come into your 'real life' at the right time. And unfortunately some people are so closed minded that they can't accept about you what is going to really make you happy. Remember this, that's their loss. I am sure you are a great person, and it's just a matter of finding the right friends. Remember that friends are all about quality not quantity. One friend that will be by you for ever beats a dozen fair weather friends.

Hang in there, and let your online friends support you. You know that we are all here for you.

[Lexington]

Various things to say about your post.

>>>Yes I have, I went to see a doctor several times, and I saw my counsellor at school every week for six months. I have not been put on medication, because the first time around, I was too young (14), so it wasn't really "in my best interests" from my doctors point of veiw.

You may consider going back, just to check. Also, you might look into getting a counselor or therapist away from school. Many will give free "first sessions".

>>>I dunno, I'm just feeling so stressed at the moment and I'm lacking the motivation to do anything, so I'm not even sure if I should tell my mum, she has no idea what's going on.

If you're on decent terms with your mom, I'd urge you to tell her. She cares about you, and she needs to know that this sort of thing is going on. It'll be hard for her to lend you any support if she doesn't have any idea that you need it.

>>>I just feel like...every time I try to get close to someone and have a friend, they find something about me and they hate me, like I'm not good enough for anybody. My last friend, I recently found out, hated the fact that I'm lesbian, and was physically repulsed enough that she thought I had a crush on her, when I never did. But I just don't know if it's my fault or not. Maybe if I hadn't told her, she would have stayed friends with me???

And then what? You would have had to hide your sexuality from your friend your entire life? That's no friend. Think about the friends you have. They're not perfect. You KNOW they're not perfect, but you keep them around anyway. Why? Because you're aware that they're human. You accept their negatives because you click with them, and the positives outweigh them. You're going to run into people who aren't interested in being your friend, for a variety of reasons - you're a lesbian, you don't like the right kind of music, you don't like sports, whatever. Should you change yourself just so they'll like you? Heck no. Better one genuine friend than a hundred fake ones.

>>>I don't know..I just feel really hurt and depressed and I just want it all to end. I don't really want to die, but I don't really see the point of living when I hate my life, and I hate myself, and I hate the fact that I'm never going to go anywhere because even though I'm smart, I'm not smart enough to get into the courses I wanna do...Maybe I should just shut the hell up and leave you all alone. No chance for anyone to get sick of me then.

We can't get sick of you. One advantage of the internet. We can always choose to read your post later, or not at all. :)

I do know what you mean. But do try to start getting out of that way of thinking. It feeds on itself. Warning - boring gargoyle "when I was your age" story on its way...

I was never cool. Ever. Never really fit in with anybody. In high school, my group of friends were all people who didn't fit in with any other group. I was the geek who wasn't quite nerdy enough to be with the nerds. Another guy was the modestly attractive guy who wasn't quite cute enough to hang out with the popular folks, etc etc. I liked them well enough, but that if only I Was smarter, or more attractive, or wittier, that somehow I'd fit in.

But once I got to college, I thought, "You know what? Screw that. And screw THEM. I like what I like. And I'm going to LIKE it, and if anybody else has a problem, screw it." I wanted to watch cartoons, so I did. (In the late 80s, this was like admitting you liked coloring in coloring books.) I wanted to listen to jazz and disco music, so I did. I wanted to read this type of book, watch this type of TV show, wear this type of clothes. And if anyone asked, I told them that that's what I liked. Basically, I gave up any pretense on being cool at all.

...and suddenly, just like that, I was cool.

Why? Two reasons. First off, I liked myself more. I was happier, and more self-confident. And secondly, I was interesting. I wasn't exactly like anyone else. I liked different things, and people thought that was cool.

So I'd implore you to see if you can do it, too. Start taking steps towards liking yourself again. Be proud of your positive traits, accept your negative ones, and enjoy whatever it you enjoy. Enjoy your company. If you don't like hanging around yourself, nobody else probably will either. So give it a try. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

I had such a great day. I finally met a really nice guy that I can get along with, and he's gay! But the age difference...:(

[Anonymous]

I always seem to have a crush on a friend! Ill finally get over a friend of mine and suddenly WHAM! I like someone else. I cxant help it either...my crushes last a long time, almost a year sometimes, but theres never time in between them.

[Anonymous]

I'm very depressed.

I'm failing my exams, I'm too dumb to understand what I need to know.

I like a boy, but he's far away and I feel I'm not good enough for him. He could get someone better in no time. I'm afraid of telling him that I'm crushing on him because I feel he'll go away.

I feel ugly and worthless.

I post photos on the photo thread and no one ever says that I'm good looking, they are always ignored by everyone else. I'm not going to post any more photos.

At the moment I need to learn everything about vector spaces and it just does not make sense to me. I feel so stupid, I want to bang my head against the wall. I used to be a good student, now I suck.

I just want everything to end. :tears:

[Lexington]

>>>I'm very depressed.

I'll keep you company. :)

>>>I'm failing my exams, I'm too dumb to understand what I need to know.

Don't equate "failing exams" with "being dumb". The two aren't necessarily related. I had to take a huge test once, and since the main thrust of that section was "eigen vectors", that's all I studied. For thirty hours in three days, I did nothing but study eigen vectors. Finally, I felt I was ready to kick ass on that test.

The test didn't have a single question about eigen vectors. D'oh.

How do you feel about the material? Not how much do you understand - is the material at all interesting to you?

>>>I like a boy, but he's far away and I feel I'm not good enough for him. He could get someone better in no time. I'm afraid of telling him that I'm crushing on him because I feel he'll go away.

He's already away. :) Feel him out a bit. Tell him things like, "I really like talking to you". You should be get some idea by his responses how he feels about you.

>>>I feel ugly and worthless.

That doesn't mean you ARE ugly and worthless. It's common to be down on yourself from time to time. Give yourself some time to wallow in self-pity (get it out of your system), then get ready to jump back up and take it on again.

>>>I post photos on the photo thread and no one ever says that I'm good looking, they are always ignored by everyone else. I'm not going to post any more photos.

Most people aren't good looking, actually. I'm not. Most of my friends aren't. We're not ugly or anything. We're just average. In addition, I'm one of those really non-photogenic guys who never ever looks good in a picture. I always have a weird expression on my face. I've posted some pictures - here and on other sites - and although I've made people laugh, I've never heard that I'm attractive. But that's OK. That's not why I posted them.

>>>At the moment I need to learn everything about vector spaces and it just does not make sense to me. I feel so stupid, I want to bang my head against the wall. I used to be a good student, now I suck.

Vector spaces, huh? Been there, done that. :) When I got into statistical inference, it was like hitting a brick wall. Couldn't even understand what the hell the prof was talking about. And I had chosen the course as part of my major - I couldn't back out. So I did what I had to do - I asked for help. I went in and saw the professor every single time he had office hours. I never got GOOD at it, but I got good enough that I could sort of shove all the knowledge into my brain, and then sort of "pour it out" onto the paper when test time came around. I swear, three days after the course ended, I remembered NOTHING about that course. But I passed. Got a C.

>>>I just want everything to end.

You probably just want the crap to end. And it will, eventually. It gets better on the other side. You'll have to take that on faith right now, but the gargoyle is waving to you from on top of the sunny mountain, saying it kicks ass over here. Because it does. :)

Now go hit the books. :thumbsup:

Lex

[Anonymous]

i Always seem to get ignored ( not literally) on here :( and i dotn usually leave it anonymous

[Anonymous]

I'm very depressed.

I'm failing my exams, I'm too dumb to understand what I need to know.

I like a boy, but he's far away and I feel I'm not good enough for him. He could get someone better in no time. I'm afraid of telling him that I'm crushing on him because I feel he'll go away.

I feel ugly and worthless.

I post photos on the photo thread and no one ever says that I'm good looking, they are always ignored by everyone else. I'm not going to post any more photos.

At the moment I need to learn everything about vector spaces and it just does not make sense to me. I feel so stupid, I want to bang my head against the wall. I used to be a good student, now I suck.

I just want everything to end. :tears:

Yeah i was depressed through education too thats why I left it ..

[EthanS]

I'm very depressed.

I'm failing my exams, I'm too dumb to understand what I need to know.

I like a boy, but he's far away and I feel I'm not good enough for him. He could get someone better in no time. I'm afraid of telling him that I'm crushing on him because I feel he'll go away.

I feel ugly and worthless.

I post photos on the photo thread and no one ever says that I'm good looking, they are always ignored by everyone else. I'm not going to post any more photos.

At the moment I need to learn everything about vector spaces and it just does not make sense to me. I feel so stupid, I want to bang my head against the wall. I used to be a good student, now I suck.

I just want everything to end. :tears:

Yeah i was depressed through education too thats why I left it ..

[EthanS]

I just want a hug :(:icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

>>>I'm very depressed.

I'll keep you company. :)

>>>I'm failing my exams, I'm too dumb to understand what I need to know.

Don't equate "failing exams" with "being dumb". The two aren't necessarily related. I had to take a huge test once, and since the main thrust of that section was "eigen vectors", that's all I studied. For thirty hours in three days, I did nothing but study eigen vectors. Finally, I felt I was ready to kick ass on that test.

The test didn't have a single question about eigen vectors. D'oh.

How do you feel about the material? Not how much do you understand - is the material at all interesting to you?

>>>I like a boy, but he's far away and I feel I'm not good enough for him. He could get someone better in no time. I'm afraid of telling him that I'm crushing on him because I feel he'll go away.

He's already away. :) Feel him out a bit. Tell him things like, "I really like talking to you". You should be get some idea by his responses how he feels about you.

>>>I feel ugly and worthless.

That doesn't mean you ARE ugly and worthless. It's common to be down on yourself from time to time. Give yourself some time to wallow in self-pity (get it out of your system), then get ready to jump back up and take it on again.

>>>I post photos on the photo thread and no one ever says that I'm good looking, they are always ignored by everyone else. I'm not going to post any more photos.

Most people aren't good looking, actually. I'm not. Most of my friends aren't. We're not ugly or anything. We're just average. In addition, I'm one of those really non-photogenic guys who never ever looks good in a picture. I always have a weird expression on my face. I've posted some pictures - here and on other sites - and although I've made people laugh, I've never heard that I'm attractive. But that's OK. That's not why I posted them.

>>>At the moment I need to learn everything about vector spaces and it just does not make sense to me. I feel so stupid, I want to bang my head against the wall. I used to be a good student, now I suck.

Vector spaces, huh? Been there, done that. :) When I got into statistical inference, it was like hitting a brick wall. Couldn't even understand what the hell the prof was talking about. And I had chosen the course as part of my major - I couldn't back out. So I did what I had to do - I asked for help. I went in and saw the professor every single time he had office hours. I never got GOOD at it, but I got good enough that I could sort of shove all the knowledge into my brain, and then sort of "pour it out" onto the paper when test time came around. I swear, three days after the course ended, I remembered NOTHING about that course. But I passed. Got a C.

>>>I just want everything to end.

You probably just want the crap to end. And it will, eventually. It gets better on the other side. You'll have to take that on faith right now, but the gargoyle is waving to you from on top of the sunny mountain, saying it kicks ass over here. Because it does. :)

Now go hit the books. :thumbsup:

Lex

I'm the one who posted the first post on this page.

I used to be the best student. Now I suck. I was bad already, I can't allow myself to be worse. I'm crying right now, right on my algebra notebook. I'm trying but I can't understand it, and the teacher doesn't help us.

I should have studied more, but I was very short on time. I decided to rest last weekend because I was tired, and it was a huge mistake. I hate myself for it.

[Anonymous]

I just want a hug :(:icon_sad:

(&&&)

[Lexington]

>>>I used to be the best student. Now I suck. I was bad already, I can't allow myself to be worse. I'm crying right now, right on my algebra notebook. I'm trying but I can't understand it, and the teacher doesn't help us.

I was the math genius too. Never had a problem at all. I could breeze by with a minimum of effort, and always pull at least a B. Until that class. Then it was like hitting a friggin' wall.

You don't suddenly suck. You just hit your wall.

All teachers have "off class" time, Go. Get extra help. One-on-one.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I just sent my crush an e-mail telling him what I feel for him. I'm crying yet another time, because I'm sure I'm gonna lose him. :tears: He's a great guy, I'm just not good enough for him.

[Lexington]

>>>He's a great guy, I'm just not good enough for him.

We're all human. (Even the gargoyle.) Even Mr Wonderful has got issues and problems he's dealing with. Because of that, NOBODY is out of your league. That doesn't mean everybody will want to be your boyfriend, or even your friend. But it's NEVER hopeless.

You're gonna have to stop thinking you're not good enough. We all shine in some areas, and suck in some others. But even less-than-attractive people get boyfriends. So do the not-so-swift, and the socially awkward. You know their secret? They LIKE themselves. Even with their pimply face, and large stomachs, and clumsy storytelling skills. They accept their faults. They realize they have them, but they don't feel the faults make them lesser people. They love themselves just the way they are, warts and all. And once they love themselves, suddenly, other people find them loveable as well.

Stop the hating. Start the love. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

i have a bacteria infection 'down there'. :icon_redf i've got tablets to clear it up but what makes it worse is the fact that i'm not sexually active. i masturbate but i have never done anything more than kiss anyone else. apparantly this infection affects virgins and nuns (i am a virgin btw) according to my doctor which makes me feel a lot better. i can't drink for a full week while i'm taking these tablets as well, which will be hard to explain to people. i'm also in love with my friend who is straight. i really want to have sex but i want to find someone who cares about me which i am not having a lot of luck with.

i am so fed up with my life right now.:icon_sad: :tears: :help:

v..v Virgins??.. whats it called??

it's called bacterial vaginosis apparantly. virgins can also get such diseases as thrush and stititus. all of the pain without ANY of the pleasure. :icon_sad: :bang:

[Anonymous]

i have a bacteria infection 'down there'. :icon_redf i've got tablets to clear it up but what makes it worse is the fact that i'm not sexually active. i masturbate but i have never done anything more than kiss anyone else. apparantly this infection affects virgins and nuns (i am a virgin btw) according to my doctor which makes me feel a lot better. i can't drink for a full week while i'm taking these tablets as well, which will be hard to explain to people. i'm also in love with my friend who is straight. i really want to have sex but i want to find someone who cares about me which i am not having a lot of luck with.

i am so fed up with my life right now.:icon_sad: :tears: :help:

v..v Virgins??.. whats it called??

it's called bacterial vaginosis apparantly. virgins can also get such diseases as thrush and stititus. all of the pain without ANY of the pleasure. :icon_sad: :bang:


Well, Ethan, something tells me that you will never have vaginosis =P

Seriously speaking, yeah, infections "down there" can affect virgins and people who have safe sex too. I once got a fungal infection on my penis, and Jerry (JayHew, may he rest in peace) helped me with it. God save Lamisil! lol.

[Anonymous]

I can't even seem to get close to my best friend anymore because she makes me feel all awkward... :( Something happened that's managed to twist my good image of her into one of a sexually frustrated pervert. I'm worried that she might come onto me or something. (Don't worry she hasn't actually done anything serious)
I'm a girl, lesbian, and I'm worried this might impede me in the future if I tried to get close to a girl and I'm absolutely terrified that in the long-term it might make me start questioning myself again, when that's the last thing I want because I am so sure of my sexuality and don't want not to be.

[Paul_UK]

I had such a great day. I finally met a really nice guy that I can get along with, and he's gay! But the age difference...:(

Don't rule it out because of the age difference. Take it steady and slowly if you're unsure, and make sure you fully understand what each other want from the relationship.

[Paul_UK]

i Always seem to get ignored ( not literally) on here :( and i dotn usually leave it anonymous

Do you mean on all of EC or just in this thread?

This thread isn't really for responses, it's more for people posting secrets or feelings they would not normally say so that they are said, rather than to get a lot of responses. If you need responses to something start a new anonymous thread about it. :thumbsup:

[Anonymous]

i sometimes wish i knew a gay guy that was like an older brother that i could pour my heart out to...nobdy else seems to really understand

[Lexington]

We may not be exactly like having one in real life, but we're here to listen, advise, and empathize.

...and I guess I'd probably be your MUCH older gay brother. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

All you ever say is 2 letter replies... hate it.

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on Ryan

[Anonymous]

i dont think im going to get better at all
really close to giving up

[biisme]

i dont think im going to get better at all
really close to giving up

give up how?

what's the matter hon?

[biisme]

i Always seem to get ignored ( not literally) on here :( and i dotn usually leave it anonymous

i will not ignore u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

Development is so slow, mundane and boring. I wish it could go faster so I could escape this mess. I wish it could be some sort of pleasant surprise.

[Lexington]

>>>i dont think im going to get better at all
>>>really close to giving up

Don't.

I think the thing I hate most about my depression is that, when I'm in, I feel like:

1. THIS is the correct feeling, and I've been deluding myself when I'm not depressed.
2. I've felt like this FOREVER.
3. I'll ALWAYS feel like this.

And this can be after a week of not being depressed. An hour later, I'm thinking "Gee, I've been like this forever. Life sucks." I don't know why I can't remember the good times. But once I'm out, they're really vivid. And I"m glad I stuck with it.

Stick with it.

Lex

[Alexander]

A person not on EC:

I love you. I really do.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I love him and he doesn't see it. It hurts and makes me wonder what I'm doing here.

[Lexington]

Is that why you're here? So he'll notice you and love you?

Lex

[Anonymous]

I procrastinate A LOT
I am a little bit racist
I had a phase where I was straight...worst twenty seconds ever
I sing a lot when alone
I love WIZARD OF OZ
I love Xanadu
I think God is a hypocrtie
:***:

[Anonymous]

Is that why you're here? So he'll notice you and love you?

Lex

Haha, no... lol I'm here because I'm trying to figure out what to do and my ex referred me to the site :p

[Anonymous]

I feel like I'm a mask when really, what you see is what you get.
There's nothing to me, I have no story to tell. I am nothing.
I have no talent, no social skill, nothing.
I can't imgaine why anyone would start a genuine relationship with me.
The only thing I am is a person willing to experience new things and ponder the world.
I'm a blank page that no one would want to put the effort into making priceless.
I feel like the only thing I have is a body... and perhaps, maybe that's all I should be.
Sometimes I think maybe I could contribute to the world by returning nutrients to the soil.

[Anonymous]

I want to meet a member, but scared that they may be older or like sexual predators....kinda scared.

My parents don't know about this

I lied about my birthdate on my profile

The year and month are correct

I HATE catholic school(!)

[Lexington]

^ Offer to meet them somewhere neutral. At a Starbucks or something, a bit of a distance from your home. Agree that that's ALL you're going to do - meet for coffee, chat, see how you like each other. Then go your separate ways.

Lex

[Jonnnnn16]

I'm heterophobic. I know I shouldn't be but straight guys kind of disgust me (no problem with straight girls). With only two or three exceptions, they are just so stupid! They only seem to have two emotions: horny and drunk.

Sadly I'm not exactly thrilled when I see straight guys joining EC.

Can't help but feel that i'm being attacked- I'm sorry if the straight stereotype is being drunk and horny, but after all, what use is a stereotype? I joined EC because I WANTED to. Many straight people still won't want to live with homosexuals, but if me joining EC is the beginning of some type of bonding between gays and straights, then I'm doing my job.

[Anonymous]

I'm heterophobic. I know I shouldn't be but straight guys kind of disgust me (no problem with straight girls). With only two or three exceptions, they are just so stupid! They only seem to have two emotions: horny and drunk.

Sadly I'm not exactly thrilled when I see straight guys joining EC.

Can't help but feel that i'm being attacked- I'm sorry if the straight stereotype is being drunk and horny, but after all, what use is a stereotype? I joined EC because I WANTED to. Many straight people still won't want to live with homosexuals, but if me joining EC is the beginning of some type of bonding between gays and straights, then I'm doing my job.

Well I was the one who posted that. At least personally, with the exception of my best friend, I have yet to meet a straight guy who I can actually talk to. And even my best friend is kind of disgusted by me.

[Lexington]

^ Meet more straight guys. I've got more straight friends than gay ones, and while they do have their drunk and/or horny times, they're much more likely to be supportive, friendly, and fun.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I'm on a scholarship at a top private school and I get great marks in most of my subjects. But I feel like a failure because I'm tone-deaf while most of my friends are very musical, and I'm disabled so can't play sport, and I'm not very good-looking. Other people get so much glory and praise for performing or playing sport, and at best, I get a 'well done' when I ace a test. I want to be good at something that the world can see. I want someone to look at me and think that I'm talented, not think that I'm an unattractive nerd who can't walk properly.

[Jim1454]

^ (*hug*)

I can relate to how you feel. *recalls with little fondness his school days*

You've got just a few more years until you're out in the real world, and sports and good looks will mean MUCH less - and how smart, personable, responsible, etc. you are will mean everything! Keep working at school, stay positive, and know that you'll soon find your 'place' where you really do feel appreciated.

In the mean time, there are likely other things you could do to participate or contribute at school. School publications, student government, academic teams (science, debating, etc.) would all be accessible to you.

[Joey]

THE FUCK?! A FUCKING 2.47 GPA?!?!? FUCKING 5 DAYS A WEEK I WORKED WITH FUCKING TUTORS.... AT LEAST 5 FUCKING HOURS A DAY OUTSIDE OF CLASS.... FOR A FUCKING 2.4?! THE FUCK?!?!?!


fuck that school... honestly, if I wasn't half way through and if it weren't a royal waste of money, I would get the fuck out. It's not worth the fucking stress for that bullshit

[Anonymous]

sometimes i feel that i hurt myself just so i can talk about it and get support and care from others even though i really hurt myself for my inner pain. its not for attention when i originally do it but i find myself trying to convince me that i'm just a pointless attention seeker.

[EthanS]

I feel like I'm a mask when really, what you see is what you get.
There's nothing to me, I have no story to tell. I am nothing.
I have no talent, no social skill, nothing.
I can't imgaine why anyone would start a genuine relationship with me.
The only thing I am is a person willing to experience new things and ponder the world.
I'm a blank page that no one would want to put the effort into making priceless.
I feel like the only thing I have is a body... and perhaps, maybe that's all I should be.
Sometimes I think maybe I could contribute to the world by returning nutrients to the soil.

:( Yeh I been through that, its not easy.. but all you have to do is open up yourself to others, you probly think they wont care but they will, most of the time neway, I get how you feel i think but Im no good at giving advice.

[Anonymous]

fuck off. you know who you are. yes I know I talked about HOMOSEXUALITY today and I know how fucking homophobic you are. but for once, can you please open your fucking mind?

[Anonymous]

you looked amazing tonight, and i will miss you, but i cannot believe that you wouldnt even say goodbye. you are beautiful but as much as i regret saying this - still very immature and i dont want to waste my emotions. i never realised how attractive i find you - at one point i couldnt take my eyes away. but even though you dont know any of this you dont care at all. a friend who isnt there in the hard times isnt really a friend. im just sorry i wasted so much time. i cant stop wishing we were close again. but its not fair on me. good luck and i love you - but only as the friend you used to be.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure whether I'm gay straight bi or just plain out forcing my feelings and now that I'm out too everyone...:bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :tears: :tears: :***: :***: :***: :***:

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure whether I'm gay straight bi or just plain out forcing my feelings and now that I'm out too everyone...:bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :tears: :tears: :***: :***: :***: :***:
You're not alone my friend. (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure whether I'm gay straight bi or just plain out forcing my feelings and now that I'm out too everyone...:bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :tears: :tears: :***: :***: :***: :***:


You're not alone my friend. (*hug*)

I can't believe so many people have the same feelings I do...

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure whether I'm gay straight bi or just plain out forcing my feelings and now that I'm out too everyone...:bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :tears: :tears: :***: :***: :***: :***:


You're not alone my friend. (*hug*)

I can't believe so many people have the same feelings I do...

Sometimes I get scared that I did exactly that. (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

i'm a lesbian but i have slight sexual feelings towards guys. but i could never relate emotionally or hold a relationship with one. plus i don't want to be bisexual and am more comfortable being plain lesbian. still its a bit confusing. its probably just because i'm young and curious though. :icon_redf :confused: :dry:

[Anonymous]

i'm a lesbian but i have slight sexual feelings towards guys. but i could never relate emotionally or hold a relationship with one. plus i don't want to be bisexual and am more comfortable being plain lesbian. still its a bit confusing. its probably just because i'm young and curious though. :icon_redf :confused: :dry:
I'm a guy and I feel the same

[Anonymous]

i have a HUGE crush on a teacher at school. she is straight and probably 20 years older than me but so beautiful. i dont know why but i feel like this but its like the fact i like her is disgusting and wrong... i know that it isnt, but i cant help feeling like this.

[ccdd]

i have a HUGE crush on a teacher at school. she is straight and probably 20 years older than me but so beautiful. i dont know why but i feel like this but its like the fact i like her is disgusting and wrong... i know that it isnt, but i cant help feeling like this.

This is perfectly normal, and I used to do it all the time. Try not to feel disgusting and wrong about it, because crushes on teachers are REALLY common, as are ones on same-sex teachers. Trust me.

Don't think of the crush as either right or wrong - it has no morality. It merely exists.

[Anonymous]

i'm a lesbian but i have slight sexual feelings towards guys. but i could never relate emotionally or hold a relationship with one. plus i don't want to be bisexual and am more comfortable being plain lesbian. still its a bit confusing. its probably just because i'm young and curious though. :icon_redf :confused: :dry:


I'm exactly the same. Some slight sexual attraction to guys, but nothing emotional or personal.

[Anonymous]

Grandma, I'm ready to let you go now.

[Martin]

My parents are emotional blackmailing cunts.

[biisme]

My parents are emotional blackmailing cunts.

(*hug*)

i'm sorry honey

[Stargate]

I want to find someone who makes me happy

[LOVEjames]

I'd love to meet someone who found me attractive and didn't really notice my weight. I'm working on it insanely hard in a healthy by not going to any huge extremes, so that adds a little bit of time onto the process. Hell, I'd love to find a guy who just didn't find me repulsive. I really just want to have that cutesy lovey-dovey stuff that my friends have that I constantly mock.

[Stargate]

I just want to find someone that will take care of me and love me and hold me when im depressed

[LOVEjames]

I feel that although I really used to be the bottom-esque type of person in a relationship. Well, I thought of myself as one since I've never been in a relationship, but lately I've been more and more okay with myself and wanting to like... take care of other people.

o.o Oi, I'm totally making a personals ad on EC. Joyous.

[Anonymous]

S: I wish you would shut the eff up. You're just one of those annoying rambling emo bitches that constantly tries to explain why people make fun of you and everything. Have you ever thought that maybe it's not just because making fun of them or whatever makes them feel better, but it's also because you bring that type of stuff on yourself. No one deserves what you're going through, but just realize that you project the image of... blah.

[johnny11]

I always feel like no matter what I go through , when I tell people about my life .I'm just feeling bad for myself.

[Anonymous]

My parents are emotional blackmailing cunts.

I'm so sorry, Martin. (*hug*)

[interstella]

My parents are emotional blackmailing cunts.

:kiss: (*hug*) (&&&)
i know what that feels like.

[Anonymous]

i was raped by my best friends dad for six months, but I have never told anyone about it because too many people in real life would know who it was.
He was not the first person to this and probably won't be the last either.

I HATE MY LIFE.

[Starlight]

My parents are emotional blackmailing cunts.

Martin, you know where I am if you want to blow off steam about it. I'm use to it, as all my friends do it to me.

[Anonymous]

Please let me in. We can lick this thing together. I KNOW IT.

[Lexington]

>>>i was raped by my best friends dad for six months, but I have never told anyone about it because too many people in real life would know who it was.

Is it bad that people know who it was?

Lex

[JSG]

i was raped by my best friends dad for six months, but I have never told anyone about it because too many people in real life would know who it was.
He was not the first person to this and probably won't be the last either.

I HATE MY LIFE.
I'm so sorry Anon (*hug*)
But why do you mind if everybody knows who did that to you? He doesn't deserve to be free and go rape other kids. I know how hard it can be, my ex-girlfriend was molested as a child, it was very hard for her to talk about it, thankfully she did and now he's in prison. You did nothing wrong and you won't be doing anything wrong by talking about it, au contraire.

[EthanS]

I dont have anything in common with ppl here part from 'gay' :dry: part from minor stuff

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

its okay. i heard that 1 in 4 women have been sexually abused in some way. I was. we're all here to support you! (*hug*)

[Lexington]

>>>I dont have anything in common with ppl here part from 'gay'

Um, that's the only thing we DO have in common. And heck, there's even some people here who can't even claim THAT. :D

Lex

[EthanS]

lol no i mean like what u guys talk bout

[Lexington]

Hey, it's not like this site is full of almost-40, 80s music loving, old-time cartoon freaks either. :) But I go elsewhere to scratch those itches. :)

Lex

[EthanS]

hmmm.. i think i might go to *** ^_^ thats if i can b asked :P

[Anonymous]

i was raped by my best friends dad for six months, but I have never told anyone about it because too many people in real life would know who it was.
He was not the first person to this and probably won't be the last either.

I HATE MY LIFE.

I am really sorry that this has happened to you. (*hug*) (*hug*)

Are you absolutely sure that there is no way you can tell someone? What he did was illegal, and you should feel no shame should what happened come out publicly. There is also the fact that you may not be the only one, and that he might do this again in the future, and telling might help others. However, if you do feel unable to tell, as you say, then anything else he may or may not do is in any case nothing to do with you, and his totally his responsibility (*hug*) (I just wanted to clarify that in case it was bothering you).

As an aside, have you ever suspected that he treats/has treated you friend in the same way? But I hope that you manage to get some help somehow, and that this does not happen again. (*hug*)

[ccdd]

Hey, it's not like this site is full of almost-40, 80s music loving, old-time cartoon freaks either. :) But I go elsewhere to scratch those itches. :)

Lex

:lol: I found this really funny :lol:

It's true, I also probably have little in common with a lot of you - heck, I'm not even gay :lol: (or am I???). Or male, as most of you seem to be....

[Anonymous]

i'm happiest while starving myself.

[Anonymous]

in sadness. i've left for a long time. no one contacts me. no one talks about me.
and i'm losing people slowly from my life.

in shame. i cammed with someone i didn't know.

in happiness. i'm not as upset with any of this as i thought i would be.

[Anonymous]

Im scared

[heatqueen]

(*hug*)

[Lexington]

I'm scared too. But I'm no longer afraid of my fear. I can face it, I think.

Lex

[Anonymous]

i feel really lonely. it's like all my friends have either forgotten me or just dont care anymore.

[Anonymous]

I have been spinning out of control but I think I may just be getting back on track :)

[Anonymous]

i wish i was richer so i could give more of my money to those in need. especially my friends...

[Anonymous]

i dont like ppl who are so uptight. its unattractive and annoying.

[Joey]

I'm absolutely terrified of the dark :icon_bigg


It sucks because there are no streetlamps back where my house is and it's pitch black :dry:

[Anonymous]

For the 1st time in my life, I though of suicide.
I don't want to kill myself, but I have thought about it.

[Jim1454]

^ I've been there, and it's a really lonely and scary place. But you don't need to be alone. While you might not think so, LOTS of people care about you, and LOTS of people want to help. You need to reach out to them. You can reach out to me if you want to. PM me and we can chat.

(*hug*)

[Paul_UK]

I'm absolutely terrified of the dark :icon_bigg


It sucks because there are no streetlamps back where my house is and it's pitch black :dry:

I am scared of the total dark too. As long as there is a bit of light I am fine but I hate it when it is pitch black, so it is no different if your eyes are open or closed.

[Anonymous]

When all you guys talk to me and get to know me, you think I have it so together and that I'm on the roll. I've been told that I should just come out but deep down I hold myself back because I know I need to wait much longer and they don't know the reason why. I'm sure I'm a lesbian but deep down I have lots of hidden fears. I haven't fallen for anyone for a long time. What if I fall for a guy and have to begin questioning all over again? I don't want to have to tell the few people I've come out to that I'm bi, not a lesbian. It took so long to come out to myself...I don't want to spend any longer questioning.

I never seem to know if I have a genuine crush on someone, or if I'm just forcing myself for the sake of feeling like I'm sure of myself. I wish something definite would happen; something that would make me certain again.

[ccdd]

When all you guys talk to me and get to know me, you think I have it so together and that I'm on the roll. I've been told that I should just come out but deep down I hold myself back because I know I need to wait much longer and they don't know the reason why. I'm sure I'm a lesbian but deep down I have lots of hidden fears. I haven't fallen for anyone for a long time. What if I fall for a guy and have to begin questioning all over again? I don't want to have to tell the few people I've come out to that I'm bi, not a lesbian. It took so long to come out to myself...I don't want to spend any longer questioning.

I never seem to know if I have a genuine crush on someone, or if I'm just forcing myself for the sake of feeling like I'm sure of myself. I wish something definite would happen; something that would make me certain again.

I feel a lot like you too sometimes. Especially the bits about seeming to have it together, and not wanting to have to come out, and then come out again as something else. I'm with you on this one (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

i know its bad but i don't want obama to win because he is part black and i only want hilary to win because she's a woman. then again i'm not into politics so thats all i know about them.

[Anonymous]

I wish everyone would just stop lying and just agree with me that I'm overweight.
I guess it doesn't matter since I don't believe them when they say that i'm not like that anymore.
...Why can't I see what they do?

[Lexington]

^ What does your doctor say? He's the one that should have final say.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I was raped by my best friend.

Three times.

[Joey]

I have major body image issues because I used to be pretty big. Even now when everybody tells me I've lost a ton of weight and look amazing, every time I pass a mirror and catch of glimpse of myself I still see that fat kid I used to be. Although I'm now down to the weight I was when I left middle school (about 225 pounds) I don't like looking at myself in the mirror at all, nor looking at pictures of myself (on facebook, for example) because I still go "Ugh... I hate how I look"

[Lexington]

I've never really liked the way I look, either. I'm somewhat round, and I have a rather "goofy" face, and I don't photograph well at ALL. But I no longer hate it. I just accept it. It's who I am. Didn't get a good draw there. Oh well. :)

...and my non-secret secret rant. I'm sorry - I don't feel motivated to give somebody's work more credence just because the person who created it died. If it was good while they were alive, it's good now. If it wasn't then, it still isn't now. And I'm tired of being guilt-tripped into believing that I should feel otherwise.

Lex

[biisme]

I was raped by my best friend.

Three times.

Honey, are you okay? (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

If you EVER want to talk, please PM me.

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend are over. I dunno how I'll get over this...

He was just so amazing, and the way he told me shows how much he's a good guy...


What sucks is that we still love each other...

:tears: :tears: :tears:

[biisme]

^^ y did u guys break up then?

[EthanS]

I wish everyone would just stop lying and just agree with me that I'm overweight.
I guess it doesn't matter since I don't believe them when they say that i'm not like that anymore.
...Why can't I see what they do?

I have major body image issues because I used to be pretty big. Even now when everybody tells me I've lost a ton of weight and look amazing, every time I pass a mirror and catch of glimpse of myself I still see that fat kid I used to be. Although I'm now down to the weight I was when I left middle school (about 225 pounds) I don't like looking at myself in the mirror at all, nor looking at pictures of myself (on facebook, for example) because I still go "Ugh... I hate how I look"

I think.. you 2 probs hav BDD ( body dismorfic Disorder ) Look it up :)

[KatoKumi]

I just started crying on the phone.
And when the person I'm talking to asked me why.

I really really really don't know.
Anyone else get that?

[Anonymous]

Well... rant here I come...

The world is such a fucked up place sometimes. I just happened to come about a video about Larry King on youtube and some of the comments were aweful. There were people saying that all gays are going to hell, that how can you compaire "fags" and black people - sexuality is a choice and its immoral and wrong.. I'm not going to go on, but its just all so sad. Why can't people try to just accept everyone?? I mean how hard can it be and why is it still so acceptable to persicuit people because of their gender/sexual orientation/race/religion.. whatever. I mean no one deserves to be shot in the head because they asked someone to be their valentine. Its rediculous how a kid is brutally murdered for showing love and affection, that a kid can believe being asked to be a valentine by someone of the same sex if so aweful that that person deserves to be shot and that even in 2008 things like this are still happening.

It's just all so sad, messed up, and scary. Everytime I see things like this I go from accepting myself to, out of fear, wishing that it wasn't happening to me. I'm just so confused about it all... and it's so sad.

[Lexington]

^ We fear that which we do not know, and that which we do not understand.

For many many years, we didn't understand homosexuality. People who felt homosexual feelings were scared to death, because nobody else apparently had them. Nobody said anything. The few that dared were mocked, because people didn't understand - how could someone be attracted sexually to the same gender? It didn't make any sense. They feared the unknown, so they fought to get rid of it.

But knowledge is power. People are learning that these feelings happen. And that it's not as uncommon as all that. And that they don't have anything to fear from it.

It's a slow process. Some folks prey on that fear by starting ex-gay groups, or by recruiting those who are afraid for political gain. But the strides made in the last forty years have been enormous and steady. We're getting there. I think there may come a time that homophobia will be a very confined phenomenon, like racism.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I feel I have to be friends with or date (not that I've had one) people who are unpopular or really insecure with themselves, just so they'd accept me.

[Anonymous]

I'm scared to be myself around anyone and everyone because I don't feel that I'm at all interesting. If I don't like myself then who else would... :icon_sad:

[Lexington]

^ Yes! That's just it! You've got it! But you're looking at it a bit askew. The key now is to start looking at yourself as interesting. Because you are! You have the same likes and dislikes as you, right? :) So enjoy your company! Read your manga, or watch CNN, or play mumblety-peg in the backyard, or draw cathedrals with crayons. Do what you want! BE YOU. Live it. LOVE it. Jump whole-hog into it. Get great at mumblety-peg, and draw hundreds of cathedrals, and have a kick-ass time doing it.

This has a two-fold effect. First off, your time spent alone is better. You may be alone, but you're not lonely. Because you're enjoying your own company. And secondly, as you start loving yourself more, others will find you more approachable. More fun to be around. And you'll probably end up with less alone time. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on my brother T_T :tears:

[Anonymous]

I wish everyone would just stop lying and just agree with me that I'm overweight.
I guess it doesn't matter since I don't believe them when they say that i'm not like that anymore.
...Why can't I see what they do?

I have major body image issues because I used to be pretty big. Even now when everybody tells me I've lost a ton of weight and look amazing, every time I pass a mirror and catch of glimpse of myself I still see that fat kid I used to be. Although I'm now down to the weight I was when I left middle school (about 225 pounds) I don't like looking at myself in the mirror at all, nor looking at pictures of myself (on facebook, for example) because I still go "Ugh... I hate how I look"

I think.. you 2 probs hav BDD ( body dismorfic Disorder ) Look it up :)
Can you really say anything like that without being a doctor? :S

[Lexington]

I'm pretty sure anyone can attempt a diagnosis, especially if you preface it with "I think you probably have..." :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure anyone can attempt a diagnosis, especially if you preface it with "I think you probably have..." :)

Lex
I disagree, all diagnosis or suggestions of such delicate matters should really be left to professionals.

[Lexington]

^ Oh, agreed. But I don't think this was a clinical diagnosis. It was a "I think you have...". A suggestion for further inquiry, rather than a "here's what's wrong with you, and here's what you should do".

Lord knows I get plenty of unasked-for diagnoses. Not even of the "Maybe you have..." variety, but more like "Oh, see, here's what's wrong with you." I especially like the people who know NOTHING about me other than that I started taking anti-depressants, and instantly know that I should flush them down the toilet, go out and get some sunlight, and maybe score some weed from this guy they know. Because they obviously know all about it. :)

Lex

[JSG]

I'm pretty sure anyone can attempt a diagnosis, especially if you preface it with "I think you probably have..." :)

Lex
I disagree, all diagnosis or suggestions of such delicate matters should really be left to professionals.
I think he meant 'anyone can attempt a diagnosis' but it won't necessarily be a correct one.

[Anonymous]

to anyone with a painful secret or problem or depression
(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

^that was me

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure anyone can attempt a diagnosis, especially if you preface it with "I think you probably have..." :)

Lex

Yer Im suggesting im not saying you HAVE :]

[EthanS]

I'm pretty sure anyone can attempt a diagnosis, especially if you preface it with "I think you probably have..." :)

Lex

Yer Im suggesting im not saying you HAVE :]

[Adrian]

^ Oh, agreed. But I don't think this was a clinical diagnosis. It was a "I think you have...". A suggestion for further inquiry, rather than a "here's what's wrong with you, and here's what you should do".

Lord knows I get plenty of unasked-for diagnoses. Not even of the "Maybe you have..." variety, but more like "Oh, see, here's what's wrong with you." I especially like the people who know NOTHING about me other than that I started taking anti-depressants, and instantly know that I should flush them down the toilet, go out and get some sunlight, and maybe score some weed from this guy they know. Because they obviously know all about it. :)

Lex

My housemate once gave me a layman's diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia, which I thought was a bit much given that the symptoms mainly consisted of me 'being a bit shy'. :icon_bigg

[Behling]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset

[LOVEjames]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset

-gives love-

[JSG]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset
OMG I feel soooo so sorry for you Behling (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Blitzkrieg]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset

I Hope everything gets better for you Behling (&&&)

[Bromptonrocks]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset



I'm so sorry. (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on my brother T_T :tears:

Wow that's very unfortunate. You should really try getting over it

[Paul_UK]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I almost committed suicide yesterday:icon_sad: .

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on my brother T_T :tears:

I can actually relate to that. I don't have any brothers, but I have a really hot cousin. I dunno. You should probably try to get over it, but I wouldn't feel so bad. We can't help who we like in that way.

[Anonymous]

i'll never bring myself to accept the boys my best girl-friend dates

i'm overprotective
i watch out for her constantly
i listen to her all the time
i've always been there for her

but she turns to him

and i am ignored.

[Lexington]

>>>I almost committed suicide yesterday

But you didn't. And I'm very thankful for that. (*hug*) Please tell someone - anyone - if you get to that point again.

Lex

[Lexington]

>>>i'm overprotective
i watch out for her constantly
i listen to her all the time
i've always been there for her

Are you hoping she'll one day become more than just a friend to you?

Lex

[Anonymous]

I was gonna commit suicide just before ..:icon_sad: but then i didnt want to.. i dunoo . .:dry:

[EthanS]

^That was me. I wanted to commit suicide just before ..:icon_sad: but then i didnt want to.. i dunoo . .:dry:

[Anonymous]

I'm fight to now cut myself:bang:.

[Anonymous]

^^^^^^^^I meant NOT^^^^^^^^^

[biisme]

^That was me. I wanted to commit suicide just before ..:icon_sad: but then i didnt want to.. i dunoo . .:dry:

please please please please don't commit suicide. that is not the only solution. it never is.

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

please please please please don't commit suicide. that is not the only solution. it never is.
unless it is:(.

[Stargate]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO it never is, take it from the person who at one time knew exactly how many asprin it would take to kill himself and had them in a ziplock in his desk.

I'm going to say talk to your doctor if your feeling this way. Thats why I did, she reffred me to a phycologist and I was diagnosed with clinical depression. You really should look into it, gay teens are 7 times more likely to commit sucide and it really isnt the option, hang in there. I know it dosent look like it , but it will get better(*hug*) (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I'm a mirror scryer. :)

[Lexington]

>>>unless it is.

If it is, it's the absolute final one. No other options can be tried after this one, so make sure absolute ALL other options have been exhausted. Talking to people, counseling, seeing your doctor, suicide hotlines, ALL OF IT.

Lex

[Anonymous]

please please please please don't commit suicide. that is not the only solution. it never is.
unless it is:(.

:kiss: doctor, you will make it. Its hard as hell, but you can make it. :hugs:

YOU WILL COME OUT OF THIS A MUCH BETTER PERSON THAN YOU WERE.

[Jim1454]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset

I'm so sorry about your dog. I dread the day that our dog passes away - I love her so much! (*hug*)

PM me if you need talk about it.

[Anonymous]

I lied to the girl he's dating so that they could continue to protect each other with lies.

-He wasn't drunk when we had sex.
-It wasn't a one time thing.

[Anonymous]

>>>It wasn't a one time thing.

Will the number continue to increase?

Lex

[Anonymous]

i heard my oldest friend talking to my mom. she said that she wished that she could go back in time to when she was 2 so she could tell her mom that she was sick so she could get better and not die. her mom died 2 years ago this July. :tears:

[Lexington]

Aww. (*hug*)

Lex

[Anonymous]

>>>It wasn't a one time thing.

Will the number continue to increase?

Lex

I don't know about the future, but his claim to her was that we had sex once and that was it. We actually had sex too many times to count over the span of 4 months.

[Anonymous]

>>>It wasn't a one time thing.

Will the number continue to increase?

Lex

I don't know about the future, but his claim to her was that we had sex once and that was it. We actually had sex too many times to count over the span of 4 months.

Also, he told her he was very intoxicated that one time >_>
Way to hide.

[Anonymous]

My dog died today, my dad is really pissed off at me and I wish I was dead. I'm so scared and upset

I just heard . Hope that time has helped ease the hurt.I know it's like a family member.(*hug*)

[panda]

Me^^^

[Anonymous]

I have a serious genetic illness. I should think of myself as one of the lucky ones, because I can still see and hear (although not very well), walk (most of the time) and communicate. I'm not as badly affected as a lot of people who have this condition. I shouldn't complain, but I do, and I hate myself for it.

[Lexington]

^ Do you hate yourself for having it? Or hate yourself for complaining? It sucks when we don't get a good draw in life. Yeah, others may have gotten worse ones, but that's small consolation when it seems most people are far ahead of you.

Feel free to be pissed. But don't let your anger keep you from achieving the things you CAN achieve.

Lex

[Miaplacidus]

I'm in a generally good mood. Finally, I've decided to believe it when people tell me that I'm hot, I'm decided to fulfill my goals and while it's going to be hard I'm decided to get closer to the boy I like.

So, finally I know what I am really like. I'm naturally outgoing, very flirty, but somewhat sarcastic as well. I DO SMILE... and rather naughtily it seems.

I like this side of me, more or less. I don't like being somewhat slutty though. I'm a little bitchy as well... what has happened to me?!

I'm a little afraid of, well, losing my crush because he doesn't know this side of me, I think... and he might not like some aspects of it... so nothing is really that good.

And well, of course, I miss him a lot...

[Anonymous]

All I want is to have a cute, understanding boyfriend who loves me just as much as I love him. Who makes me feel safe and warm and perfect, who whispers in my ear how much he loves me.

I have given up hope that such a boy exists.

[Paralyzer]

I've nearly lost the concept of heterosexuality (in others)
If I see a cute guy, I think "Gee, I think I might have a chance with him!"

I can't really picture guys liking girls anymore.. uhh.. is that bad? hahaha......

[Anonymous]

^ Do you hate yourself for having it? Or hate yourself for complaining? It sucks when we don't get a good draw in life. Yeah, others may have gotten worse ones, but that's small consolation when it seems most people are far ahead of you.

Feel free to be pissed. But don't let your anger keep you from achieving the things you CAN achieve.

Lex

For complaining. My mother's had to have brain surgery and will probably need it again in the next few years, and my sister's lost most of the functioning in one side of her body. I have serious balance problems, bad enough that I walk with a cane and sometimes need a wheelchair. I'm also partially blind and have hearing difficulties, and have constant fatigue, but I'm not as badly affected as they, and a lot of other people with this condition, are.

[Ty]

I've nearly lost the concept of heterosexuality (in others)
If I see a cute guy, I think "Gee, I think I might have a chance with him!"

I can't really picture guys liking girls anymore.. uhh.. is that bad? hahaha......

Me too! I find it impossible to see Guy + Girl :p

[EthanS]

^ Do you hate yourself for having it? Or hate yourself for complaining? It sucks when we don't get a good draw in life. Yeah, others may have gotten worse ones, but that's small consolation when it seems most people are far ahead of you.

Feel free to be pissed. But don't let your anger keep you from achieving the things you CAN achieve.

Lex

For complaining. My mother's had to have brain surgery and will probably need it again in the next few years, and my sister's lost most of the functioning in one side of her body. I have serious balance problems, bad enough that I walk with a cane and sometimes need a wheelchair. I'm also partially blind and have hearing difficulties, and have constant fatigue, but I'm not as badly affected as they, and a lot of other people with this condition, are.

:eek: Your family has it???:icon_sad: (*hug*) Whats it called?

[Anonymous]

I've nearly lost the concept of heterosexuality (in others)
If I see a cute guy, I think "Gee, I think I might have a chance with him!"

I can't really picture guys liking girls anymore.. uhh.. is that bad? hahaha......

Me too! I find it impossible to see Guy + Girl :p

Yeah I'm the same kinda. :p

Thinking about it though, this is probably why straight people don't like gays. They find it impossible to see guy + guy or girl + girl.

[Anonymous]

I have moved on to a bigger love, and it has left me feeling....not much =)

[Étoile]

I've nearly lost the concept of heterosexuality (in others)
If I see a cute guy, I think "Gee, I think I might have a chance with him!"

I can't really picture guys liking girls anymore.. uhh.. is that bad? hahaha......

Me too! I find it impossible to see Guy + Girl :p

Yeah I'm the same kinda. :p

Thinking about it though, this is probably why straight people don't like gays. They find it impossible to see guy + guy or girl + girl.

LOL My problem is that I usually think all guys are secretly bisexual or curious and won't admit it. I've come to find out that I'm so wrong.:lol:

[Anonymous]

^ Do you hate yourself for having it? Or hate yourself for complaining? It sucks when we don't get a good draw in life. Yeah, others may have gotten worse ones, but that's small consolation when it seems most people are far ahead of you.

Feel free to be pissed. But don't let your anger keep you from achieving the things you CAN achieve.

Lex

For complaining. My mother's had to have brain surgery and will probably need it again in the next few years, and my sister's lost most of the functioning in one side of her body. I have serious balance problems, bad enough that I walk with a cane and sometimes need a wheelchair. I'm also partially blind and have hearing difficulties, and have constant fatigue, but I'm not as badly affected as they, and a lot of other people with this condition, are.

:eek: Your family has it???:icon_sad: (*hug*) Whats it called?