Post Secret

[Lexington]

^ I think he's down the street from me. If you want me to, I'll drop off any "secret admirer" construction-paper valentine you've made for him. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

^ I think he's down the street from me. If you want me to, I'll drop off any "secret admirer" construction-paper valentine you've made for him. :)

Lex

haha that would be awesome Lex, do it! for me...please? :icon_wink

Oh wow, I'm cool, I'm having Lex deliver stuff to my crush for me. :dry:

[LOVEjames]

My eyebrows are orange... I left the hairdye in too long. o.o It's a little too bright for my tastes, and my eyebrows look ridiculous. I bought a deep auburn color, which I normally use, and it'll all be okay... but damn... my eyebrows are orange.

[Anonymous]

I hate my mother...I'm not quite sure why, but I do. She bugs the hell out of me, and I don't think she loves me or my dad. I'm afraid my parents are going to get a divorce within the next three years. :tears:
I find solace in writing.

[LOVEjames]

My eyebrows are orange... I left the hairdye in too long. o.o It's a little too bright for my tastes, and my eyebrows look ridiculous. I bought a deep auburn color, which I normally use, and it'll all be okay... but damn... my eyebrows are orange.

Hm, nevermind... now my hair is a great color. But my eyebrows are insanely dark and bold. And I normally have sorta thin blonde eyebrows... and... yeah... >_> I think I'm going to go -back- to the store and get a medium-blonde so I can redye just my eyebrows.

[LOVEjames]

My eyebrows are orange... I left the hairdye in too long. o.o It's a little too bright for my tastes, and my eyebrows look ridiculous. I bought a deep auburn color, which I normally use, and it'll all be okay... but damn... my eyebrows are orange.

Hm, nevermind... now my hair is a great color. But my eyebrows are insanely dark and bold. And I normally have sorta thin blonde eyebrows... and... yeah... >_> I think I'm going to go -back- to the store and get a medium-blonde so I can redye just my eyebrows.

>_> I'm using a small bleach solution to lighten them. My skin is burning a tiny bit, but it's insanely safe. I'm applying it with a q-tip and yeah... it's all good. They're a bit lighter. ;D

lalala. These are my eyebrow escapades. :o

[Anonymous]

I'm slowly getting over my unavailable crush. But because she knows about it, I worry that we'll never be such close friends again. I fear that we'll always be weird together - how will she know my crush has gone, when it does?

[Lexington]

By the way you treat her - as a friend - and the fact that you remain comfortable around her. :)

Lex

[seanathon]

^ I think he's down the street from me. If you want me to, I'll drop off any "secret admirer" construction-paper valentine you've made for him. :)

Lex

haha that would be awesome Lex, do it! for me...please? :icon_wink

Oh wow, I'm cool, I'm having Lex deliver stuff to my crush for me. :dry:

O_O

You can't be serious. Have you seen me in real life?

[Lexington]

I'm not. But your location used to be "Colorado", like mine, so I stretched the truth just a tad. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

i'm so :***: sick of my mom taking her anger out on me because her ex-bf is an :***:

[seanathon]

I'm not. But your location used to be "Colorado", like mine, so I stretched the truth just a tad. :)

Lex



Phahaha. Ooookay. XD

I'm so ridiculously gullible it isn't funny. :P

I guess that's my secret.

[Anonymous]

There's so much talk of these sites where you can just watch a guy jack off, and I don't know where any of them are.

[Anonymous]

Oh, the crazy things you do when you're horny... *sigh*

[Behling]

Oh, the crazy things you do when you're horny... *sigh*

hah I hear ya

[Anonymous]

^ I think he's down the street from me. If you want me to, I'll drop off any "secret admirer" construction-paper valentine you've made for him. :)

Lex

haha that would be awesome Lex, do it! for me...please? :icon_wink

Oh wow, I'm cool, I'm having Lex deliver stuff to my crush for me. :dry:

O_O

You can't be serious. Have you seen me in real life?

You don't give yourself enough credit.

[seanathon]

You don't give yourself enough credit.

Hahaha. I'm definately not that good looking at all.

But thanks for the flattery. :P

[LOVEjames]

I love it when people acknowledge me on here. Makes me feel like I do sorta have something to contribute.

[Lexington]

>>>There's so much talk of these sites where you can just watch a guy jack off, and I don't know where any of them are.

Most of them involve a credit card. :)

>>>You don't give yourself enough credit.

I don't think he was putting himself down. I think he really thought I DID live right down the street from him. :) But no, I won't be delivering construction-paper valentines to him. Try explaining THAT one to his parents. "No, they're not from me. Seriously!"

Lex

[Anonymous]

>>>There's so much talk of these sites where you can just watch a guy jack off, and I don't know where any of them are.

Most of them involve a credit card. :)

>>>You don't give yourself enough credit.

I don't think he was putting himself down. I think he really thought I DID live right down the street from him. :) But no, I won't be delivering construction-paper valentines to him. Try explaining THAT one to his parents. "No, they're not from me. Seriously!"

Lex

hahah i wasnt being serious about giving him something :P

[JSG]

There's so much talk of these sites where you can just watch a guy jack off, and I don't know where any of them are.
I know where they are but I still haven't found an EC member yet :(
lol

[Lexington]

^ What? You thought that was a DIFFERENT gargoyle on hotfantasycreatures.com? :D

Lex

[Anonymous]

i think my 14yr old sister is crazy for wanting to date a 17yr old guy! 17yr old teen guys only want one thing. and i don't want him messing with her stupidity.

[Ty]

^ What? You thought that was a DIFFERENT gargoyle on hotfantasycreatures.com? :D

Lex

Hmm, I actually tried that link XD

[Lexington]

Had to take the site down. The minotaur quit, and the elves were holding out for a higher percentage of the profits.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I'm so angry at you right now, and I wonder if you meant anything you ever said. :(

Me angry and depressed is not a good combination for anyone who happnes to talk to me for the next while.

[Lexington]

...uh, I was kidding about the minotaur. Hopefully, you don't mean me. :)

Feel better soon.

Lex

[Anonymous]

...uh, I was kidding about the minotaur. Hopefully, you don't mean me. :)

Feel better soon.

Lex

I didn't Lex ;)

[Anonymous]

Emotional winge - I just want a hug, I feel really emotional for pretty much no reason, lonely and silly little things are getting to me - I just started crying in school because I ruined my exam and just felt rubbish. I just feel really alone and as if no one cares, they are fine as long as no real emotion is involved. I want to be honest as I am sick of keeping secrets from people, it's just all getting to me. And I feel like I am overreacting about everything, but I can't help it.

[Alex]

Emotional winge - I just want a hug, I feel really emotional for pretty much no reason, lonely and silly little things are getting to me - I just started crying in school because I ruined my exam and just felt rubbish. I just feel really alone and as if no one cares, they are fine as long as no real emotion is involved. I want to be honest as I am sick of keeping secrets from people, it's just all getting to me. And I feel like I am overreacting about everything, but I can't help it.
I feel like that right now.

[Anonymous]

everybody is going to die. at one point in time. its a scary thing to realize looking at my classmates and my friends and family. even if its young in a car accident or old in the 90's. everyone dies. that just freaks me out. :icon_redf:icon_sad:

[Joey]

everybody is going to die. at one point in time. its a scary thing to realize looking at my classmates and my friends and family. even if its young in a car accident or old in the 90's. everyone dies. that just freaks me out. :icon_redf:icon_sad:

(*hug*)
It freaks me out too... but that just means we have to appreciate and love every moment we have

[Lexington]

>>>everybody is going to die. at one point in time. its a scary thing to realize looking at my classmates and my friends and family. even if its young in a car accident or old in the 90's. everyone dies. that just freaks me out.

During my depression, that's almost all I could think about. Everybody will die. And how horrible that was.

...but, honestly, I know it isn't. If you had an unlimited amount of time, you'd never do anything. You could always do it tomorrow, next week, next decade. Having a limited lifespan forces us to get up, and get living. And eventually, we have to make way for the next group.

Once more, I'm at peace with that. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

God I hate my life, either I die, or my brother dies, and more than likely it will be me, because I don't feel like rotting in jail.

*BTW: I would never, EVER, actually kill my brother. I would sooner shoot my balls off with a low powered airsoft gun than do that*















:help:

[Anonymous]

Some people on here are REALLY hot. I can't say the same for yours truly. :(

And don't give me that "everyone is hot" crap. It's not true. Of course, the fact that I'm gay and I don't know a single gay guy doesn't help. But one of my friends is making me question his sexuality *crosses fingers*

[EthanS]

YEEAA that 'everyone is hot' thing is annoooyin... . gets me confused

[Anonymous]

I check out the guys working in the grocery store whenever i go in there ... (:

[Anonymous]

Finals are coming up and I feel really worried. I know I should be studying, but I can't get myself off EC to do it. Damn. Only 5 more school days left, but I don't know if I will even be able to survive them. Also, seananthon is hella hot, and makes me feel ugly. I wish I was attractive.:icon_sad:

[beckyg]

Finals are coming up and I feel really worried. I know I should be studying, but I can't get myself off EC to do it. Damn. Only 5 more school days left, but I don't know if I will even be able to survive them. Also, seananthon is hella hot, and makes me feel ugly. I wish I was attractive.:icon_sad:


If you PM Paul, he can temporarily ban you until school is out if that would help!

[Anonymous]

The political discussions on EC always gets way out of hand.

[Anonymous]

I feel incredibly unattractive compared to almost everyone else on EC. Actually, I feel incredibly unattractive in my daily life, too.

[Lexington]

^ The way I see it, roughly 1% of people are attractive. They lucked out - good genes. The rest of us? Not unattractive really. Just normal. Ordinary. Not blessed with great looks. Nose too big, hair too weird, too round, blotchy skin, whatever.

The attractive 1% are much more likely to post pictures of themselves. Why wouldn't they? They get positive reinforcement every time they do. "You're so cute!" "You're hot!" etc. The rest of us? Less likely. So of the pictures posted, way more than 1% are attractive. That may lead you to think that everybody out there is hot, and you missed the boat. Nope.

Ordinary people get into relationships, too. I'm certainly no looker, and I did OK. :)

Lex

[Lexington]

>>>God I hate my life, either I die, or my brother dies, and more than likely it will be me, because I don't feel like rotting in jail.

Those aren't the only two options. Find someone to help you find the third.

Lex

[EthanS]

^ The way I see it, roughly 1% of people are attractive. They lucked out - good genes. The rest of us? Not unattractive really. Just normal. Ordinary. Not blessed with great looks. Nose too big, hair too weird, too round, blotchy skin, whatever.

The attractive 1% are much more likely to post pictures of themselves. Why wouldn't they? They get positive reinforcement every time they do. "You're so cute!" "You're hot!" etc. The rest of us? Less likely. So of the pictures posted, way more than 1% are attractive. That may lead you to think that everybody out there is hot, and you missed the boat. Nope.

Ordinary people get into relationships, too. I'm certainly no looker, and I did OK. :)

Lex

1%?? More like 30% :D not saying Im one of them ofc

[Lexington]

Nope. 1%. But 30% of photos are of those 1%. :D

Lex

[EthanS]

lol.. how do u know its 1%?? coz im sure i see alot of good looking people everyday

[Anonymous]

>>>God I hate my life, either I die, or my brother dies, and more than likely it will be me, because I don't feel like rotting in jail.

Those aren't the only two options. Find someone to help you find the third.

Lex

No, there are defiantly only 2, and the first one is looking damn good, and looking better everyday.

[Anonymous]

my new fish got ripped up in the filter. i bought him because he was perfect. he didn't die but his beautiful tail got ripped up. i hid his tank behind things so i couldn't see him. i think i am so upset because i am mad at myself for my own imperfections that i can't help. :tears: i feel so bad for him. at least he was perfect at one point. now its my fault he lost it because i didn't realize sooner that it was my filter that killed my old fish before him.

[EthanS]

o.O but arent filters sized so fishes cant get in them??

[Lexington]

>>>No, there are defiantly only 2, and the first one is looking damn good, and looking better everyday

Go find someone to show you the other options. NOW. They ARE there.

Lex

[Spark]

I dont even know what the hell my signature is talking about lol

[interstella]

>>>God I hate my life, either I die, or my brother dies, and more than likely it will be me, because I don't feel like rotting in jail.

Those aren't the only two options. Find someone to help you find the third.

Lex

No, there are defiantly only 2, and the first one is looking damn good, and looking better everyday.

I've been down that route, and I found the third option and got out of that situation. PM me if you need to talk.

*hugs*

[Anonymous]

I think I have some OCD(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

[Anonymous]

i wish i had friends

[Anonymous]

All I want to do, all I want to be, is to go into a dark corner somewhere outside where I can be alone a lie in the grass staring at the sky wondering about the damn predicament I'm in. I can't because I'm a guy and it'll be "sissy". This frustrates me so damn much. I want to punch pretty much everyone I know in the face for stupid reasons regarding either how they feel about me (strangely, they like me but it pisses me off) or how I should act. Since when has logic been so frowned apon!? My logic doesn't work for people. I think everyone needs to get rid of the idea that there is an exact solution for everything. I seriously want to sleep in a bed of razor blades. And I don't care how damn emo that sounds, why the hell can't I express my emotion!?

Of course, if I did that, I'd ruin the only thing I haven't broken. My sleeping habbit is impeccable.

And what is Summer going to be for me? Another long season of me staying at home because of family issues. I have so much damn potential and it's all wasted because of my ancestry. I really think I could make myself into something, and the fact that that's not happening, by forces beyond my control, is very aggrivating. It's like someone is putting cake to my face and telling me I can't eat it. EVER

[JSG]

I sometimes think I may be bi, but I know I'm not.
Like, you really wanna have a taste of that strawberry milkshake even tho you know you don't like strawberry milkshakes, they seem so yummy you just have to have a taste and end up not liking it (obviously) but you still have these strawberry milkshake urges...
(if any of that makes sense)

[Anonymous]

So far I consider myself a lesbian, but I really hope that I don't suddenly fluctuate and realize I'm like, bi or something. It was tough enough questioning the first time, a 2nd time would only be harder. I don't want to come out as one thing, realize I'm another, and then have to come out again. :(

[Gera-Kun]

I sometimes think I may be bi, but I know I'm not.
Like, you really wanna have a taste of that strawberry milkshake even tho you know you don't like strawberry milkshakes, they seem so yummy you just have to have a taste and end up not liking it (obviously) but you still have these strawberry milkshake urges...
(if any of that makes sense)

hahaha, same here! >.< it's kinda weird :P

[Alex]

Various depression tests online give me about 50 to 80 points out of 100... very uhm... nice to know.. better go see that doctor

[Lexington]

^ Yes. Yes yes yes. Best move I ever made.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I sometimes think I may be bi, but I know I'm not.
Like, you really wanna have a taste of that strawberry milkshake even tho you know you don't like strawberry milkshakes, they seem so yummy you just have to have a taste and end up not liking it (obviously) but you still have these strawberry milkshake urges...
(if any of that makes sense)

hahaha, same here! >.< it's kinda weird :P

me too lol. the only problem is, coming out is usually permanent.

[interstella]

I sometimes think I may be bi, but I know I'm not.
Like, you really wanna have a taste of that strawberry milkshake even tho you know you don't like strawberry milkshakes, they seem so yummy you just have to have a taste and end up not liking it (obviously) but you still have these strawberry milkshake urges...
(if any of that makes sense)

hahaha, same here! >.< it's kinda weird :P

me too, but coming out is usually a permanent thing.

Damn anon box! please delete the above post.

[Anonymous]

I think Behling is really cute. :kiss:

[Anonymous]

i wish people would send me random messages on here saying things like "hi" or "how r u?" or something or leave messeges on my profile and stuff :icon_sad:
*feels neglectid* :cry:

[Lexington]

^ How many have you sent? :) I've noticed the more I send, the more I get.

Lex

[Anonymous]

So far I consider myself a lesbian, but I really hope that I don't suddenly fluctuate and realize I'm like, bi or something. It was tough enough questioning the first time, a 2nd time would only be harder. I don't want to come out as one thing, realize I'm another, and then have to come out again. :(

i feel exactly the same

[Anonymous]

my mom doesn't want me to date a black girl. just because she grew up in the ghetto. she doesn't think it will work because 'we are too different'.

[Anonymous]

So far I consider myself a lesbian, but I really hope that I don't suddenly fluctuate and realize I'm like, bi or something. It was tough enough questioning the first time, a 2nd time would only be harder. I don't want to come out as one thing, realize I'm another, and then have to come out again. :(

i feel exactly the same

There are alot of us. Although I haven't actually thought this for a while - I'm quite content with calling myself gay :)

Ooo and for some reason I really don't like the word "lesbian" I far prefer gay. Lesbian is just a horrid word, I don't like it.

[Anonymous]

^Agreed, it sounds like some kind of horrible disease.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

I sometimes think I may be bi, but I know I'm not.
Like, you really wanna have a taste of that strawberry milkshake even tho you know you don't like strawberry milkshakes, they seem so yummy you just have to have a taste and end up not liking it (obviously) but you still have these strawberry milkshake urges...
(if any of that makes sense)

Me too! :icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

i don't care about your 2,000-4,000 posts. ur not better than me. i'm sick of your boasting on this pointless accomplishment.

[JSG]

Why so much anger?
It's only post count, why get mad about this pointless accomplishment?

[Behling]

<3 seanathon

[Anonymous]

<3 seanathon

What a funny coincidence,

<3 behling

ohyes. i did.

[seanathon]

<3 seanathon

What a funny coincidence,

<3 behling

ohyes. i did.

Hawhaw. That was ME!

[Anonymous]

Why so much anger?
It's only post count, why get mad about this pointless accomplishment?


how did i know someone would bother commenting? It obviously is a big ego booster to some. am i allowed to have a formed opinion and post it anonymously without being hasseled? hence the anonymous...:dry:

[Anonymous]

i dont think i am going to make it

[JSG]

Why so much anger?
It's only post count, why get mad about this pointless accomplishment?


how did i know someone would bother commenting? It obviously is a big ego booster to some. am i allowed to have a formed opinion and post it anonymously without being hasseled? hence the anonymous...:dry:
Relaaaax honey, I was just asking a question.

:kiss:

[Anonymous]

1. I wish some cute girl(who can make me happy) would just sweep me up and love me. :icon_sad:

2. I wish I wasn't so weak, girlish, and ugly. :icon_sad:

3. I wish I wasn't so anti-social and stage-phobic. :icon_sad:


I wish a lot, yes...But I mostly wish number 1 could happen...

[Anonymous]

i'm teh one who posted that anonymous post here! :P

[Anonymous]

I changed my mood from Zombified to Pissed Off for the first time since Paul put the moods in place....and it's for a bloody good reason

[step49x]

i dont think i am going to make it
Why not?

Seriously, if you want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, or one of the mods, or one of the other members who are here to support you, no matter what may be going on in your life.

If you want help, feel free to post your questions. There is bound to be at least one person here who has gone through similar things, no matter what you're experiencing. If you don't want help, at least let us know what's going on.

[pirateninja]

i don't care about your 2,000-4,000 posts. ur not better than me. i'm sick of your boasting on this pointless accomplishment.

Don't get angry aboot it. Nobody wants to feel "superior" here. Some people just like to say "Look, I've been active!" Just rise above it.

Incidentally, neither I or anyone made a post aboot my 3,000th, and I don't mind (and neither am I asking someone to make it, so don't) but some people like to recognise activity, so what?

I changed my mood from Zombified to Pissed Off for the first time since Paul put the moods in place....and it's for a bloody good reason

How come? What was the reason?

[Anonymous]

I started to cut myself this morning

[Anonymous]

I feel guilty every time I get upset over something. I have a good friend who's been through a lot of crap in her life (a good friend of hers committing suicide, which sent her into drugs) and every time I got upset for a couple of years, she'd tell me to get over it and act as though she was the only person in the world entitled to be sad and to cry because so much bad stuff had happened to her. At the time I was only just starting to come to terms with my sexuality, I'd lost my best friend, my mother was very sick and I was starting to become chronically ill as well. I still feel guilty whenever I cry (which doesn't happen very often now, I've puled myself out of thee hole I was in) because I can still hear her telling me to get over it and stop being a drama queen.

[Ty]

Everythings far too dramatic for my tastes.

[Anonymous]

i feel like my secrets are not needed here because there are all these very dramatic ones here about suicide and losing it all and love.

but that won't stop me from getting them out of me!

[Anonymous]

Im a horrible, bitter and jealous person =/

[Anonymous]

I can't stop looking at the guy that's sitting across from me!

[Étoile]

I'm a little hurt right now because my crush didn't pay as much attention to me as he usually does. Especially since today was the last day of school for us and I won't see him again until September. Conceited, I know, but hey, I'm a teenager.:icon_wink

[Anonymous]

No one knows the real me.

[Anonymous]

1. I wish some cute girl(who can make me happy) would just sweep me up and love me. :icon_sad:

I wish I could just sweep up a girl, make her happy, and love her.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

1. I wish some cute girl(who can make me happy) would just sweep me up and love me. :icon_sad:

2. I wish I wasn't so weak, girlish, and ugly. :icon_sad:

3. I wish I wasn't so anti-social and stage-phobic. :icon_sad:


I wish a lot, yes...But I mostly wish number 1 could happen...

There's nowt wrong with being girlish! Girlishness makes the world go round, hunny! It's not weak, it's cute. Be proud of who you are (*hug*)

And yes, I share #1 too.

[Lexington]

>>>No one knows the real me.

Do you know the real you?
Do you like the real you?
Those are the first two steps.

Lex

[Anonymous]

This is NO SECRET TO ANYONE!!

















Lex gives the BEST ADVICE....EVER!!

[Anonymous]

I've tried to kill myself 4 times in the past year...leading to 4 hospitalizations. Anti-depressants work wonders when you actually take them.

[Lexington]

^ I've found that to be the case as well. :) Glad you're heading back in the right direction.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I sometimes feel terribly alone.
I feel like people generally associate my name with "ew."
I look at the school around me and i see nearly everybody with a partner.
Even my friends have had better love lives than me.
It's been nearly two years since i've come out and every crush i've dealt with ended up in pain.
It makes me feel depressed/jealous/angry when there's a couple near me that are making out or something.
I feel like even though people do drugs and all that, and I don't, that they still can get someone and I can't...they still live better lives and I don't
I dislike 98% of my family even though I say that I care about them, I feel like they will backstab me when I come out to them.
Even though I look confident about coming out, I feel like a little fish in a big tank, and I take everything anyone says about me very personally.
Basically I feel hideous compared to my school.

[Anonymous]

>>>No one knows the real me.

Do you know the real you?
Do you like the real you?
Those are the first two steps.

Lex

(This is the original poster, fyi.)

I know the real me. And I think I'm a pretty okay person. I'm just afraid that people won't accept me for my true, unedited self.

[Anonymous]

My Mom thinks that I'm clean and sober, but I smoke weed, pop ecstasy and drink.

[Anonymous]

This is NO SECRET TO ANYONE!!

Lex gives the BEST ADVICE....EVER!!

Totally agree :D, go Lex!

[Anonymous]

i know way way toooo much about sex, for my age. i also watch porn, wich i think i shouldn't do, but i love beating off to a hard-core flic!!!

[Anonymous]

i have never been kissed though i have loved many.
never had sex though MANY around me have experience it.
i've only had one girlfriend in my whole 17 years.
never a boyfriend.
i feel like i am everyone friend and can't be loved like that.
i can give the love but it cannot be returned.
i'm doomed to be alone forever.


but i do like rainbows and puppies! :D

[firecausesburns]

I sometimes feel terribly alone.
I feel like people generally associate my name with "ew."
I look at the school around me and i see nearly everybody with a partner.
Even my friends have had better love lives than me.
It's been nearly two years since i've come out and every crush i've dealt with ended up in pain.
It makes me feel depressed/jealous/angry when there's a couple near me that are making out or something.
I feel like even though people do drugs and all that, and I don't, that they still can get someone and I can't...they still live better lives and I don't
I dislike 98% of my family even though I say that I care about them, I feel like they will backstab me when I come out to them.
Even though I look confident about coming out, I feel like a little fish in a big tank, and I take everything anyone says about me very personally.
Basically I feel hideous compared to my school.

You're not alone. I could have written the same thing. Stay strong.

[Lexington]

>>>I know the real me. And I think I'm a pretty okay person. I'm just afraid that people won't accept me for my true, unedited self.

People will.
They may not have the same point of view.
They may not like the same things you like.
Some folks might even find them a bit weird.
But a lot of people, subconsciously, take their cues from you.
If you feel like maybe you're not worth knowing or accepting, that will come across. People will pick up on that.
But if you love yourself, if you love who you are, people will pick up on that, too.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I feel like leaving EC because when I'm depressed and complain about my problems people think I'm an attention whore and just yell at me and get tired of me. I feel unwelcome.

[LOVEjames]

When I'm in a bad mood and I'm in public just walking down the street or something, and I just need to have an outlet on something, I will see a someone of color and make a racist remark in my head that's pretty explicit and something I would never possibly even think of if I'm not in a bad mood. I'm really not racist at all, I think, but every male in my family is, and I grew up around it, so it's just sorta there... and I realllllllllly don't like it.

I was going to make this post anonymously... but then I realized that I just don't like to hide behind an "Anonymous" post - so I didn't.

[Anonymous]

i think i'm falling for one of the posters here at EC.
but i dont' want to say anything and jinks it.
i'm nothing ot be desired either.

again my life is hidden in the closet :(

[Anonymous]

I sometimes wonder what the people on EC really think about me.
Would I have as many friends if I wasn't good looking?

[firecausesburns]

I turn 18 on Wednesday, and I'm scared that nobody will remember.

[Anonymous]

I'm lonely, I have no future, and I have only myself to blame

[Anonymous]

I've been rather a hopeless friend lately

[Anonymous]

I don't really like myself at the moment.

[Anonymous]

I want to cut myself for the second time...
But i promised Becky, Jim and pheebs that i would not.

[Anonymous]

i just want to say f*ck this sometimes and just go ahead and cut.

[yahooooo]

I want to cut myself for the second time...
But i promised Becky, Jim and pheebs that i would not.

Stay strong.. You can do it.. Stay positive and listen to the wise women :)

[Anonymous]

i want to choke myself. now. i need too.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I am the only sane gay person in my whole city everyone else I know are drug users, self absorbed, crazy, and/or whores (and I know A LOT of gay people here). I feel like I am going to be alone for the rest of my life.

[Anonymous]

I want someone to love me so badly. I have dreams everynight in which a guy that I don't know coming up to me, kissing me, and telling me that he loves me.

I'm lonely. Nobody at my school likes me. And none of them know the real me. If only I could tell them...and they would be alright with it.

And...thats basically all for now.

[MeskElil]

Keep strong...things will get better...just focus on things you love to do. Write poetry, fantasize, let yourself invision a better world and the world will come. Trust me. It works.

Stay strong...know that people are here for you, and PM me if you need to...

[Anonymous]

I'm sick of having sexual dreams about my ex-crush, 'cause I don't want that anymore. And it's confusing as hell.

[pirateninja]

I want to stop loving her, I want to move on. But everytime I see her, I just fall in love all over again. She is perfect in every way, except for the fact she is straight.

I just wish her boyfriend knew how lucky he was, and that every day he thanks whatever higher power there is that he has her. I want him to love her, and care for her, even better than I would do for her, because she deserves that. I want him to apologise for every little thing that he does to upset her, and to treat her with the utmost respect. And if he hurts her, I will hunt him down. I want her to be happy, and as much as I wish I could be the one that can love her and make her happy, I can also understand that it will never be so.

And it fucking kills me.

[Anonymous]

Ok... this is irritating me a bit. I really really like posting my photos on a porn site. And, I dunno... I just don't like it, and yet I still do. It's annoying. It's not like I'm addicted to it or anything, it's just that I like to do it.

[LostAddict]

Myself and a friend of mine keep making jokes about how we should get into fights so we can legitimately get nosejobs and no one would bitch at us.
And we both know the other isn't kidding.

[seanathon]

Myself and a friend of mine keep making jokes about how we should get into fights so we can legitimately get nosejobs and no one would bitch at us.
And we both know the other isn't kidding.

I wanna get a nosejob, too.

x_x

[Davey]

Myself and a friend of mine keep making jokes about how we should get into fights so we can legitimately get nosejobs and no one would bitch at us.
And we both know the other isn't kidding.

I wanna get a nosejob, too.

x_x

please don't purposely get one. like i always say natural is WAY better than plastic! even if its not plastic...its still not natural.

[Anonymous]

Worried I might just be using the gay community to feel accepted by someone.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes feel like I'm not selective enough in choosing potential boyfriends. I feel like I'd take anyone who would have me.

I'm super confused about my views on sex and relationships. I tell people that I value a relationship over sex, and would only have sex with a bf. A part of me really wants to have sex with anyone who would do it with me, though, just so I know what it's like.

I know that I'm supposed to use a condom when having sex. If I were to get a partner who didn't feel like using them, though, I feel like I'd go along and not use them.

[Paralyzer]

Worried I might just be using the gay community to feel accepted by someone.

I know people like that.. and it's not a good thing for the person :[
But, before I explain, it seems we both don't even know if you're really lgbt or not so I would say that's priority number one before any rash decisions are made on your part. Don't worry about pretending to be lgbt to get the gay community's acceptance anyways. All we really want is acceptance ourselves so just accept us and we'll accept you with graciousness. Please, don't lie to yourself and others to feel accepted. What you get in the end is a feeling of loss identity and understanding yourself is more important than playing someone else... i should kinda know.

Regardless of whether or not your lgbt, the community is glad to have you as its friend.
And, if I misinterpreted/overthought your post, I have to say I'm extremely sorry as that tends to happen to me x_x.. anyways...... (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I'm doing a theatre thing, this summer.

There are so many guys I suspect aren't straight. I wish there was some easy way for me to know.

During tech today, I saw one of the managers (i have no gaydar, but i would swear that he was gay) playing with one of the management intern's hair (i really want him, but i'm pretty sure he's straight). I made an "awe, how cute" comment. I tried not to let on, but I was *soooooo* jealous... :dry:

[interstella]

WHY am I the only one at school that doesn't hide behind a veil of happiness? Why am I the only one who shows any real emotion?

[Lexington]

A friend of mine in college accused me of this. Of hiding behind a false front of happiness.

Thing is - I actually WAS happy all the time.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I show whatever I'm feeling, most of the time it's happiness... I wouldn't necessarily assume that it's a 'veil' for all people. :)

[LOVEjames]

Grawr. That was me. <3

[Anonymous]

I feel like im not acting gay enough. I want people to know, to ask me, to not always expect im straight. I want to act different. But i suppose im just trying to find myself.

[Lexington]

>>>I feel like im not acting gay enough.

You shouldn't "act" gay any more than you act male or tall or blonde or whatever else you might be. There's no reason to put on a facade just so people will ask. You can just tell them if you'd rather.

Lex

[Davey]

i fall for people way to easily.

i'm like "easy" but instead of for sex its a crush.

Want an ego boost?

go see Davey!

:bang:

[seanathon]

i fall for people way to easily.

i'm like "easy" but instead of for sex its a crush.

Want an ego boost?

go see Davey!

:bang:

Pssh. Same with me. If a guy gives me a second glance, and he's even 1% available (aka GAY), then I instantly develop a 'crush'.

>_>

And then when they reject me, I become vindictive and defensive like it was THEIR fault.

[LostAddict]

I don't think anyone has ever had a crush on me after Grade 7.
And thinking about this makes me sad.
It's kind of selfish/shallow, but I can't help it.

[Anonymous]

my parents think that i dont do anything ( except smoke) but they couldnt be farther from the truth

[Anonymous]

Ever since I was denied into the army I have tried to kill myself twice.

[Anonymous]

My feet hurt from walking home from work Eurgh

My parents think I am studying for exams all night, but I'm usually on here or surfing the net :D

[JSG]

>>>I feel like im not acting gay enough.

You shouldn't "act" gay any more than you act male or tall or blonde or whatever else you might be. There's no reason to put on a facade just so people will ask. You can just tell them if you'd rather.

Lex

I think I get what he means, like, if you're walking down the street it's impossible for another gay guy to know you're gay if you act straight.
Am I right Anon?

[Lexington]

^ Oh, I understood that. It's just that "acting" gay won't help. It MAY attract the attention of another gay person, but then you'll feel that you need to maintain the act in order to maintain the attention. And that ain't good.

Lex

[seanathon]

Last night I started crying.

A couple days ago I went to Target and I bought sunglasses. And at the check-out was this old woman. No one was line, so we went right up. She has the biggest grin on her face, a grin from ear to ear... Her teeth were rotten and missing and cracked, but she kept smiling. She has a loud voice - it wasn't a yell, just... amplified? And she looked at me and suddenly all my teenage vanity, all my arrogance had slipped away and I feel into modesty. I felt like a little kid, looking into the eyes of an adult. An ACTUAL adult. And I realized how much my vanity shouldn't matter. I realized how strong my ego was. And I realized something else...

Even though her teeth were ruined... She still smiled.
Even though she was wearing a red vest of Target at whatever age she was, she smiled.
Even though the world has seemingly given up on her, she didn't give up on the world.

"Those glasses are nice," she said, "Here's your change."
"Thank you, and have a nice day."

And then I left.

And I don't really know why I cried, exactly. But it was something about her, and that place. I dunno...

[Lexington]

^ Lessons often come when we least expect them. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

When I see becky I always think of kyles mom from southpark

[Anonymous]

When I see becky I always think of kyles mom from southpark

me too... but in the nicest way... I hope she doesn't see this as an insult. I would kill to be called a cartman look-a-like.

[Beebo]

Last night I started crying.

A couple days ago I went to Target and I bought sunglasses. And at the check-out was this old woman. No one was line, so we went right up. She has the biggest grin on her face, a grin from ear to ear... Her teeth were rotten and missing and cracked, but she kept smiling. She has a loud voice - it wasn't a yell, just... amplified? And she looked at me and suddenly all my teenage vanity, all my arrogance had slipped away and I feel into modesty. I felt like a little kid, looking into the eyes of an adult. An ACTUAL adult. And I realized how much my vanity shouldn't matter. I realized how strong my ego was. And I realized something else...

Even though her teeth were ruined... She still smiled.
Even though she was wearing a red vest of Target at whatever age she was, she smiled.
Even though the world has seemingly given up on her, she didn't give up on the world.

"Those glasses are nice," she said, "Here's your change."
"Thank you, and have a nice day."

And then I left.

And I don't really know why I cried, exactly. But it was something about her, and that place. I dunno...

Props doctor. I went through something like this once... after I returned from Africa.

[Anonymous]

I like to cut myself.

Not for any psychological reasoning.

I just love the feel of tensing a sliced arm :)

I also love the colour of blood its proper cool :P





:tantrum: < this fellow made me laugh for ages :thumbsup:

[LOVEjames]

There's ALWAYS psychological reasoning behind harming yourself. Sorry to burst your bubble. If you aren't doing it because of an emotional stimulus, then you're just masochistic.

[LOVEjames]

I don't feel terribly welcome here, although I adore all of the people and everything and they are incredibly kind. I just feel like I have to prove myself or something to get my voice heard. I seem to go by completely unnoticed in most threads.

[Beebo]

I don't feel terribly welcome here, although I adore all of the people and everything and they are incredibly kind. I just feel like I have to prove myself or something to get my voice heard. I seem to go by completely unnoticed in most threads.

Everyone feels this way. Atleast I know I do. We all wish someone would quote us. We all wish someone would remember us.

So I am right there with you bird. But sadly I don't think there is much we can do. But honestly James. Think of how wonderful you do feel when someone does really consider your point of view, or when someone finds your joke funny... I mean I def feel like no one is interested in the work out thread that I have been putting a lot of work into... but I will percervere. Why? because one super cool kid keeps sending me messages about how he appreciates that I put so much work into it; how its helping him.

Maybe no one can see what that kid writes... but it means so much.

I mean... feeling invisible... I know the feeling. haha. I am an anxious person... and I always fret going into situations were you make yourself vulnerable to a crowd... but I think when you start to just really realise how scared everyone else is too... and how much everyone else would love to be noticed by you... thats when you realise how human those people are. And honestly. I would far rather walk with someone who was scared than someone who had no fear. Because that, in my mind, is one of the most honest connections friends, or lovers can make: Admitting the fear of not being accepted, and the need to be loved and wanted and needed.

I don't know if I helped you at all James. But it felt good writing that down...

[Miaplacidus]

Lately I've been considering killing myself again, after a while of not feeling like that. I certainly think all day long about hurting myself... :(

[panda]

Fred don't do anything stupid.You're one of the people on EC that I think of as a rock. Solid, always there.
It's the thinking that we want to stop. Not the being. Hang in there. things can and will improve.
(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

Im racist, is that bad?

[Asteroid]

Lately I've been considering killing myself again, after a while of not feeling like that. I certainly think all day long about hurting myself... :(

Fred don't do anything stupid.You're one of the people on EC that I think of as a rock. Solid, always there.
It's the thinking that we want to stop. Not the being. Hang in there. things can and will improve.
(*hug*)

Hi there! I definitely agree with Panda. If you have a problem that you need to talk about, please do so. Don't let it build up inside of you. Hurting yourself is not and will never be the answer. We will help you to get through this. Things will get better. Trust me. (*hug*)

[Paralyzer]

Lately I've been considering killing myself again, after a while of not feeling like that. I certainly think all day long about hurting myself... :(

Fred don't do anything stupid.You're one of the people on EC that I think of as a rock. Solid, always there.
It's the thinking that we want to stop. Not the being. Hang in there. things can and will improve.
(*hug*)

Hi there! I definitely agree with Panda. If you have a problem that you need to talk about, please do so. Don't let it build up inside of you. Hurting yourself is not and will never be the answer. We will help you to get through this. Things will get better. Trust me. (*hug*)

I agree Fred :[ (*hug*)

[Lexington]

>>>Im racist, is that bad?

Yes.

Give everyone who comes your way a chance to prove themselves, one way or another. If they're losers - whatever their skin color - they're losers. If they're not, they're not.

Lex

[Anonymous]

You're one of the people on EC that I think of as a rock. Solid, always there.

Solid? I'm as unstable as someone can be, self-contradicting (which makes people think I'm lying about what I feel, and that I like pity and being miserable)

That (the things between parentheses) hurts by the way. A lot.

[Miaplacidus]

You're one of the people on EC that I think of as a rock. Solid, always there.

Solid? I'm as unstable as someone can be, self-contradicting (which makes people think I'm lying about what I feel, and that I like pity and being miserable)

That (the things between parentheses) hurts by the way. A lot.

eh, that was me, quite obviously.

[Davey]

i fall for people way to easily.

i'm like "easy" but instead of for sex its a crush.

Want an ego boost?

go see Davey!

:bang:

Pssh. Same with me. If a guy gives me a second glance, and he's even 1% available (aka GAY), then I instantly develop a 'crush'.

>_>

And then when they reject me, I become vindictive and defensive like it was THEIR fault.

mine don't even have to be gay! v_v lol

[Anonymous]

I feel lonely. I feel like being gay is my curse since there's no one really at my school is gay who i can actually see myself with. I feel like a failure, destined to not do anything with my life. I feel gross, i feel disgusting and ugly. I'm growing an urge to start drinking but i'm fighting strong against it. As much as i hate to say it, on the outside I laugh and smile, but on the inside it's like a empty room. No matter how much i cry, scream, and fall, no one picks me up. I turn to video games and music to try to bottle up my emotions and for 16 years it worked but who knows how much longer it will last.

I hate this gay guy at my school, but deep down I'm jealous of him. Why is it that he can do so many drugs and drink and still get a boyfriend where i try my best to stay out of that and no one will even hug me? Why is it that people at my school use pot and drink and get A's when i try my hardest to even get a C?

[Asteroid]

I feel lonely. I feel like being gay is my curse since there's no one really at my school is gay who i can actually see myself with. I feel like a failure, destined to not do anything with my life. I feel gross, i feel disgusting and ugly. I'm growing an urge to start drinking but i'm fighting strong against it. As much as i hate to say it, on the outside I laugh and smile, but on the inside it's like a empty room. No matter how much i cry, scream, and fall, no one picks me up. I turn to video games and music to try to bottle up my emotions and for 16 years it worked but who knows how much longer it will last.

I hate this gay guy at my school, but deep down I'm jealous of him. Why is it that he can do so many drugs and drink and still get a boyfriend where i try my best to stay out of that and no one will even hug me? Why is it that people at my school use pot and drink and get A's when i try my hardest to even get a C?

Hi there! Being gay is not a curse. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know new people, in particular people with whom you have stuff in common and can see yourself with. Making friends at school can be difficult. Have you tried getting to know people outside of your school? If not, give it a try. I'm sure you will be able to make friends and get to know people. Just don't give up on it.

You are not a failure nor do I belief that you are disgusting and ugly. Every person is different with their own qualities and their own unique contributions. Try to stay positive as much as you can, and set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve.

It is great that you are staying away from drugs. It is never good becoming involved with drugs. There is nothing to be jealous about those that are on drugs or the 'gay guy'. Trust me. When you see them or him just pass them/him without thinking about it. If the 'gay guy' has a boyfriend so be it. If drugs and alcohol are the things that bind them, what are the chances that they will make it?

Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Try talking to someone (a counselor at your school or if you feel more comfortable outside of your school) about what you are going through. I'm sure this will help you to make some sense of your feelings and emotions and will allow you to come to terms with whatever it is that you are going through. The empty room does not have to remain empty. Please, try getting some help.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you want to talk more about it feel free to pm me at any time.

[Anonymous]

I feel lonely. I feel like being gay is my curse since there's no one really at my school is gay who i can actually see myself with. I feel like a failure, destined to not do anything with my life. I feel gross, i feel disgusting and ugly. I'm growing an urge to start drinking but i'm fighting strong against it. As much as i hate to say it, on the outside I laugh and smile, but on the inside it's like a empty room. No matter how much i cry, scream, and fall, no one picks me up. I turn to video games and music to try to bottle up my emotions and for 16 years it worked but who knows how much longer it will last.

I hate this gay guy at my school, but deep down I'm jealous of him. Why is it that he can do so many drugs and drink and still get a boyfriend where i try my best to stay out of that and no one will even hug me? Why is it that people at my school use pot and drink and get A's when i try my hardest to even get a C?

Hi there! Being gay is not a curse. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know new people, in particular people with whom you have stuff in common and can see yourself with. Making friends at school can be difficult. Have you tried getting to know people outside of your school? If not, give it a try. I'm sure you will be able to make friends and get to know people. Just don't give up on it.

You are not a failure nor do I belief that you are disgusting and ugly. Every person is different with their own qualities and their own unique contributions. Try to stay positive as much as you can, and set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve.

It is great that you are staying away from drugs. It is never good becoming involved with drugs. There is nothing to be jealous about those that are on drugs or the 'gay guy'. Trust me. When you see them or him just pass them/him without thinking about it. If the 'gay guy' has a boyfriend so be it. If drugs and alcohol are the things that bind them, what are the chances that they will make it?

Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Try talking to someone (a counselor at your school or if you feel more comfortable outside of your school) about what you are going through. I'm sure this will help you to make some sense of your feelings and emotions and will allow you to come to terms with whatever it is that you are going through. The empty room does not have to remain empty. Please, try getting some help.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you want to talk more about it feel free to pm me at any time.

But...I don't understand how I try so hard to be as good as I can, and people who do worse get better things while I do as good as I can, yet I'm the one who's crying at the end. It just doesn't seem fair...

I am talking to my school counselor who i trust with my life, but its summer so I'm by myself...:icon_sad:

[JSG]

Lately I've been considering killing myself again, after a while of not feeling like that. I certainly think all day long about hurting myself... :(
Don't Fred. Please. (*hug*)

[Vampyrecat]

Hi there! Being gay is not a curse. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know new people, in particular people with whom you have stuff in common and can see yourself with. Making friends at school can be difficult. Have you tried getting to know people outside of your school? If not, give it a try. I'm sure you will be able to make friends and get to know people. Just don't give up on it.

You are not a failure nor do I belief that you are disgusting and ugly. Every person is different with their own qualities and their own unique contributions. Try to stay positive as much as you can, and set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve.

It is great that you are staying away from drugs. It is never good becoming involved with drugs. There is nothing to be jealous about those that are on drugs or the 'gay guy'. Trust me. When you see them or him just pass them/him without thinking about it. If the 'gay guy' has a boyfriend so be it. If drugs and alcohol are the things that bind them, what are the chances that they will make it?

Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Try talking to someone (a counselor at your school or if you feel more comfortable outside of your school) about what you are going through. I'm sure this will help you to make some sense of your feelings and emotions and will allow you to come to terms with whatever it is that you are going through. The empty room does not have to remain empty. Please, try getting some help.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you want to talk more about it feel free to pm me at any time.

But...I don't understand how I try so hard to be as good as I can, and people who do worse get better things while I do as good as I can, yet I'm the one who's crying at the end. It just doesn't seem fair...

I am talking to my school counselor who i trust with my life, but its summer so I'm by myself...:icon_sad:

Heya!
I know exactly how that feels. But you know what? In a little while, maybe a couple of weeks, or maybe a few months, or maybe even in a couple of years, you will see that the reason those people are doing so poorly with drugs and boyfriends etc are the ones who are SO insecure and unhappy with themselves that they don't know any other way to cope.

You are a good, smart, strong person. You might not be as smart as some of the other kids at school in your studies, but I bet you're absolutely FANTASTIC at doing something else. Maybe you're the person everyone turns to for advice, or to tell their secrets to. Maybe you're that brilliant drawer in art class. I don't know you personally, but I can tell you something I know from experience. I'm great at school. And I don't have to work for it. But I am SO uncoordinated that I trip over every other day, and I'm totally CRAP at sports. So it balances out.

You see what I mean? If you're not so good at school, but you work really really hard, then no one can ask anything more from you. If you put in every effort you can and you come out with a C, then that's brilliant. You cannot ask yourself to do anything more then you have if you try your best. And even if you're still disappointed in yourself, then don't be. Think about something you're really good at, and go do it!

I don't know how old you are or what your situation is like, but from the way you sound, I'm guessing you're around my age. If that's the case you're probably still in school right? Well High school, is, as everyone says, just One, Tiny, Part of your WHOLE life. And in the rest of your life you're going to see that the more mature you become as you grow older, the more everyone else matures too. The more maturity you gain from experiences in your life, such as this, will teach you that while people think it's cool to do drugs and have lots of sex and get pissed every other weekend right NOW, in this present moment in time, by the time you're 25, it's not going to matter any more.
Hell, it's probably not going to matter when you're 23. What will matter are the things which are important to everyone. Love. Respect. Kindness. If you can find and give all of those then you'll see that people will be drawn to you because you are a GOOD person.

Just trust me when I say that in a few years time you'll look back and go, "What was I worried about?".

If you ever need to talk, you're more then welcome to PM me or send me an email at Tessatemptyclosetsdotcom. Okay? Good.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) We're all here for you.

[pirateninja]

When I see becky I always think of kyles mom from southpark

me too... but in the nicest way... I hope she doesn't see this as an insult. I would kill to be called a cartman look-a-like.

Is it the passionate intensity that she puts into causes? :D Haha, it's slightly ironic that all through the movie Kyle's mom is like "Blame Canada!" and Becky is from Canada.

Any way, my secret is... I like to eat pasta and spaghetti raw. Because it's crunchy and sometimes I can't be bothered to cook.

[Asteroid]

Hi there! Being gay is not a curse. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know new people, in particular people with whom you have stuff in common and can see yourself with. Making friends at school can be difficult. Have you tried getting to know people outside of your school? If not, give it a try. I'm sure you will be able to make friends and get to know people. Just don't give up on it.

You are not a failure nor do I belief that you are disgusting and ugly. Every person is different with their own qualities and their own unique contributions. Try to stay positive as much as you can, and set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve.

It is great that you are staying away from drugs. It is never good becoming involved with drugs. There is nothing to be jealous about those that are on drugs or the 'gay guy'. Trust me. When you see them or him just pass them/him without thinking about it. If the 'gay guy' has a boyfriend so be it. If drugs and alcohol are the things that bind them, what are the chances that they will make it?

Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Try talking to someone (a counselor at your school or if you feel more comfortable outside of your school) about what you are going through. I'm sure this will help you to make some sense of your feelings and emotions and will allow you to come to terms with whatever it is that you are going through. The empty room does not have to remain empty. Please, try getting some help.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you want to talk more about it feel free to pm me at any time.

But...I don't understand how I try so hard to be as good as I can, and people who do worse get better things while I do as good as I can, yet I'm the one who's crying at the end. It just doesn't seem fair...

I am talking to my school counselor who i trust with my life, but its summer so I'm by myself...:icon_sad:

Heya!
I know exactly how that feels. But you know what? In a little while, maybe a couple of weeks, or maybe a few months, or maybe even in a couple of years, you will see that the reason those people are doing so poorly with drugs and boyfriends etc are the ones who are SO insecure and unhappy with themselves that they don't know any other way to cope.

You are a good, smart, strong person. You might not be as smart as some of the other kids at school in your studies, but I bet you're absolutely FANTASTIC at doing something else. Maybe you're the person everyone turns to for advice, or to tell their secrets to. Maybe you're that brilliant drawer in art class. I don't know you personally, but I can tell you something I know from experience. I'm great at school. And I don't have to work for it. But I am SO uncoordinated that I trip over every other day, and I'm totally CRAP at sports. So it balances out.

You see what I mean? If you're not so good at school, but you work really really hard, then no one can ask anything more from you. If you put in every effort you can and you come out with a C, then that's brilliant. You cannot ask yourself to do anything more then you have if you try your best. And even if you're still disappointed in yourself, then don't be. Think about something you're really good at, and go do it!

I don't know how old you are or what your situation is like, but from the way you sound, I'm guessing you're around my age. If that's the case you're probably still in school right? Well High school, is, as everyone says, just One, Tiny, Part of your WHOLE life. And in the rest of your life you're going to see that the more mature you become as you grow older, the more everyone else matures too. The more maturity you gain from experiences in your life, such as this, will teach you that while people think it's cool to do drugs and have lots of sex and get pissed every other weekend right NOW, in this present moment in time, by the time you're 25, it's not going to matter any more.
Hell, it's probably not going to matter when you're 23. What will matter are the things which are important to everyone. Love. Respect. Kindness. If you can find and give all of those then you'll see that people will be drawn to you because you are a GOOD person.

Just trust me when I say that in a few years time you'll look back and go, "What was I worried about?".

If you ever need to talk, you're more then welcome to PM me or send me an email at Tessatemptyclosetsdotcom. Okay? Good.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) We're all here for you.

Hi! I am glad hat you are seeing/talking to a counselor. I agree with Vampyrecat. School (in particular high school) is only a small part of your life and one day you will not even think about it anymore. As Vampyrecat said, every person is good at something but might not be as good at something else. That is okay. Just try your best every time.

Life is full of strange bumps and road blocks. But every time we overcome them we become stronger because we have learned how to cope with the difficulties we are encountering. At some point you will turn around and realize that you have made it because you have turned to others and sought help while those on drugs haven't made it. You are already way ahead of them.

Keep telling yourself: I'm a great person and I will make it.

We are here for you. Post/PM us anytime you need to talk. You are going to get through this.

[jazzrawr]

I don't feel terribly welcome here, although I adore all of the people and everything and they are incredibly kind. I just feel like I have to prove myself or something to get my voice heard. I seem to go by completely unnoticed in most threads.

Everyone feels this way. Atleast I know I do. We all wish someone would quote us. We all wish someone would remember us.

So I am right there with you bird. But sadly I don't think there is much we can do. But honestly James. Think of how wonderful you do feel when someone does really consider your point of view, or when someone finds your joke funny... I mean I def feel like no one is interested in the work out thread that I have been putting a lot of work into... but I will percervere. Why? because one super cool kid keeps sending me messages about how he appreciates that I put so much work into it; how its helping him.

Maybe no one can see what that kid writes... but it means so much.

I mean... feeling invisible... I know the feeling. haha. I am an anxious person... and I always fret going into situations were you make yourself vulnerable to a crowd... but I think when you start to just really realise how scared everyone else is too... and how much everyone else would love to be noticed by you... thats when you realise how human those people are. And honestly. I would far rather walk with someone who was scared than someone who had no fear. Because that, in my mind, is one of the most honest connections friends, or lovers can make: Admitting the fear of not being accepted, and the need to be loved and wanted and needed.

I don't know if I helped you at all James. But it felt good writing that down...

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
:)
just sayin. ^.^

[Anonymous]

I sometimes wonder if people can see through my cheerful facade. I wonder if I try too hard to be happy and funny all the time. I wonder if somebody who can actually see how hurt I am will ask "are you ok?".

And even then I wonder if my answer will be anything more than "Fine".

[Anonymous]

Lately I've been considering killing myself again, after a while of not feeling like that. I certainly think all day long about hurting myself... :(
Don't Fred. Please. (*hug*)

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't. We love you here at EC. I know I do. You CAN get through this.
PM me if you need to talk. (*hug*):kiss:(&&&)

OMG, I'm crying now.

[interstella]

Lately I've been considering killing myself again, after a while of not feeling like that. I certainly think all day long about hurting myself... :(
Don't Fred. Please. (*hug*)

PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't. We love you here at EC. I know I do. You CAN get through this.
PM me if you need to talk. (*hug*):kiss:(&&&)

OMG, I'm crying now.

Me.

[Anonymous]

Hi there! Being gay is not a curse. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know new people, in particular people with whom you have stuff in common and can see yourself with. Making friends at school can be difficult. Have you tried getting to know people outside of your school? If not, give it a try. I'm sure you will be able to make friends and get to know people. Just don't give up on it.

You are not a failure nor do I belief that you are disgusting and ugly. Every person is different with their own qualities and their own unique contributions. Try to stay positive as much as you can, and set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve.

It is great that you are staying away from drugs. It is never good becoming involved with drugs. There is nothing to be jealous about those that are on drugs or the 'gay guy'. Trust me. When you see them or him just pass them/him without thinking about it. If the 'gay guy' has a boyfriend so be it. If drugs and alcohol are the things that bind them, what are the chances that they will make it?

Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Try talking to someone (a counselor at your school or if you feel more comfortable outside of your school) about what you are going through. I'm sure this will help you to make some sense of your feelings and emotions and will allow you to come to terms with whatever it is that you are going through. The empty room does not have to remain empty. Please, try getting some help.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you want to talk more about it feel free to pm me at any time.

But...I don't understand how I try so hard to be as good as I can, and people who do worse get better things while I do as good as I can, yet I'm the one who's crying at the end. It just doesn't seem fair...

I am talking to my school counselor who i trust with my life, but its summer so I'm by myself...:icon_sad:

Heya!
I know exactly how that feels. But you know what? In a little while, maybe a couple of weeks, or maybe a few months, or maybe even in a couple of years, you will see that the reason those people are doing so poorly with drugs and boyfriends etc are the ones who are SO insecure and unhappy with themselves that they don't know any other way to cope.

You are a good, smart, strong person. You might not be as smart as some of the other kids at school in your studies, but I bet you're absolutely FANTASTIC at doing something else. Maybe you're the person everyone turns to for advice, or to tell their secrets to. Maybe you're that brilliant drawer in art class. I don't know you personally, but I can tell you something I know from experience. I'm great at school. And I don't have to work for it. But I am SO uncoordinated that I trip over every other day, and I'm totally CRAP at sports. So it balances out.

You see what I mean? If you're not so good at school, but you work really really hard, then no one can ask anything more from you. If you put in every effort you can and you come out with a C, then that's brilliant. You cannot ask yourself to do anything more then you have if you try your best. And even if you're still disappointed in yourself, then don't be. Think about something you're really good at, and go do it!

I don't know how old you are or what your situation is like, but from the way you sound, I'm guessing you're around my age. If that's the case you're probably still in school right? Well High school, is, as everyone says, just One, Tiny, Part of your WHOLE life. And in the rest of your life you're going to see that the more mature you become as you grow older, the more everyone else matures too. The more maturity you gain from experiences in your life, such as this, will teach you that while people think it's cool to do drugs and have lots of sex and get pissed every other weekend right NOW, in this present moment in time, by the time you're 25, it's not going to matter any more.
Hell, it's probably not going to matter when you're 23. What will matter are the things which are important to everyone. Love. Respect. Kindness. If you can find and give all of those then you'll see that people will be drawn to you because you are a GOOD person.

Just trust me when I say that in a few years time you'll look back and go, "What was I worried about?".

If you ever need to talk, you're more then welcome to PM me or send me an email at Tessatemptyclosetsdotcom. Okay? Good.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) We're all here for you.


Hi there! Being gay is not a curse. Sometimes it takes a while to get to know new people, in particular people with whom you have stuff in common and can see yourself with. Making friends at school can be difficult. Have you tried getting to know people outside of your school? If not, give it a try. I'm sure you will be able to make friends and get to know people. Just don't give up on it.

You are not a failure nor do I belief that you are disgusting and ugly. Every person is different with their own qualities and their own unique contributions. Try to stay positive as much as you can, and set yourself some goals that you would like to achieve.

It is great that you are staying away from drugs. It is never good becoming involved with drugs. There is nothing to be jealous about those that are on drugs or the 'gay guy'. Trust me. When you see them or him just pass them/him without thinking about it. If the 'gay guy' has a boyfriend so be it. If drugs and alcohol are the things that bind them, what are the chances that they will make it?

Turning to alcohol is not the answer. Try talking to someone (a counselor at your school or if you feel more comfortable outside of your school) about what you are going through. I'm sure this will help you to make some sense of your feelings and emotions and will allow you to come to terms with whatever it is that you are going through. The empty room does not have to remain empty. Please, try getting some help.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you want to talk more about it feel free to pm me at any time.

But...I don't understand how I try so hard to be as good as I can, and people who do worse get better things while I do as good as I can, yet I'm the one who's crying at the end. It just doesn't seem fair...

I am talking to my school counselor who i trust with my life, but its summer so I'm by myself...:icon_sad:

Heya!
I know exactly how that feels. But you know what? In a little while, maybe a couple of weeks, or maybe a few months, or maybe even in a couple of years, you will see that the reason those people are doing so poorly with drugs and boyfriends etc are the ones who are SO insecure and unhappy with themselves that they don't know any other way to cope.

You are a good, smart, strong person. You might not be as smart as some of the other kids at school in your studies, but I bet you're absolutely FANTASTIC at doing something else. Maybe you're the person everyone turns to for advice, or to tell their secrets to. Maybe you're that brilliant drawer in art class. I don't know you personally, but I can tell you something I know from experience. I'm great at school. And I don't have to work for it. But I am SO uncoordinated that I trip over every other day, and I'm totally CRAP at sports. So it balances out.

You see what I mean? If you're not so good at school, but you work really really hard, then no one can ask anything more from you. If you put in every effort you can and you come out with a C, then that's brilliant. You cannot ask yourself to do anything more then you have if you try your best. And even if you're still disappointed in yourself, then don't be. Think about something you're really good at, and go do it!

I don't know how old you are or what your situation is like, but from the way you sound, I'm guessing you're around my age. If that's the case you're probably still in school right? Well High school, is, as everyone says, just One, Tiny, Part of your WHOLE life. And in the rest of your life you're going to see that the more mature you become as you grow older, the more everyone else matures too. The more maturity you gain from experiences in your life, such as this, will teach you that while people think it's cool to do drugs and have lots of sex and get pissed every other weekend right NOW, in this present moment in time, by the time you're 25, it's not going to matter any more.
Hell, it's probably not going to matter when you're 23. What will matter are the things which are important to everyone. Love. Respect. Kindness. If you can find and give all of those then you'll see that people will be drawn to you because you are a GOOD person.

Just trust me when I say that in a few years time you'll look back and go, "What was I worried about?".

If you ever need to talk, you're more then welcome to PM me or send me an email at Tessatemptyclosetsdotcom. Okay? Good.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) We're all here for you.

Hi! I am glad hat you are seeing/talking to a counselor. I agree with Vampyrecat. School (in particular high school) is only a small part of your life and one day you will not even think about it anymore. As Vampyrecat said, every person is good at something but might not be as good at something else. That is okay. Just try your best every time.

Life is full of strange bumps and road blocks. But every time we overcome them we become stronger because we have learned how to cope with the difficulties we are encountering. At some point you will turn around and realize that you have made it because you have turned to others and sought help while those on drugs haven't made it. You are already way ahead of them.

Keep telling yourself: I'm a great person and I will make it.

We are here for you. Post/PM us anytime you need to talk. You are going to get through this.

Thank you, thank youuuuu so much, i'm really starting to feel better. I guess I really shouldn't have such jealously over him, I should kinda feel sorry that he's having to go through that just because he's so insecure.

Just reading what you have to say makes a load of difference in my life and when I feel down, I know I can just read this again and remind myself that it's not all that bad and high school is ONLY a portion of my life, hell i have the rest to deal with to find and meet new people, why do I need to stick with the crowds and have sex and do drugs? I want to be different in many ways possible and if people see that as a sin in high school, then so be it.

I guess I should start considering being gay a gift, not a curse, because everyone who is gay has a reason to be and it opened the door to their true admirer, so i guess i really have nothing to be so concerned about.

Again, thanks. You two really made a difference in my life, and I'm gonna bookmark this for future reference :)

[Vampyrecat]

Thank you, thank youuuuu so much, i'm really starting to feel better. I guess I really shouldn't have such jealously over him, I should kinda feel sorry that he's having to go through that just because he's so insecure.

Just reading what you have to say makes a load of difference in my life and when I feel down, I know I can just read this again and remind myself that it's not all that bad and high school is ONLY a portion of my life, hell i have the rest to deal with to find and meet new people, why do I need to stick with the crowds and have sex and do drugs? I want to be different in many ways possible and if people see that as a sin in high school, then so be it.

I guess I should start considering being gay a gift, not a curse, because everyone who is gay has a reason to be and it opened the door to their true admirer, so i guess i really have nothing to be so concerned about.

Again, thanks. You two really made a difference in my life, and I'm gonna bookmark this for future reference :)

I'm glad you feel better. Again, if you ever need to talk about this, you're more then welcome to email me. :)

[Asteroid]

Thank you, thank youuuuu so much, i'm really starting to feel better. I guess I really shouldn't have such jealously over him, I should kinda feel sorry that he's having to go through that just because he's so insecure.

Just reading what you have to say makes a load of difference in my life and when I feel down, I know I can just read this again and remind myself that it's not all that bad and high school is ONLY a portion of my life, hell i have the rest to deal with to find and meet new people, why do I need to stick with the crowds and have sex and do drugs? I want to be different in many ways possible and if people see that as a sin in high school, then so be it.

I guess I should start considering being gay a gift, not a curse, because everyone who is gay has a reason to be and it opened the door to their true admirer, so i guess i really have nothing to be so concerned about.

Again, thanks. You two really made a difference in my life, and I'm gonna bookmark this for future reference :)

Hi! I'm glad that you have started to feel better again. If you ever need to talk feel free to pm me at any time.

[beckyg]

When I see becky I always think of kyles mom from southpark

me too... but in the nicest way... I hope she doesn't see this as an insult. I would kill to be called a cartman look-a-like.

Is it the passionate intensity that she puts into causes? :D Haha, it's slightly ironic that all through the movie Kyle's mom is like "Blame Canada!" and Becky is from Canada.

Any way, my secret is... I like to eat pasta and spaghetti raw. Because it's crunchy and sometimes I can't be bothered to cook.

I guess I'm going to have to watch Southpark. :eusa_doh: I'm not from Canada though. Oregon is in the USA. :D

[pirateninja]

When I see becky I always think of kyles mom from southpark

me too... but in the nicest way... I hope she doesn't see this as an insult. I would kill to be called a cartman look-a-like.

Is it the passionate intensity that she puts into causes? :D Haha, it's slightly ironic that all through the movie Kyle's mom is like "Blame Canada!" and Becky is from Canada.

Any way, my secret is... I like to eat pasta and spaghetti raw. Because it's crunchy and sometimes I can't be bothered to cook.

I guess I'm going to have to watch Southpark. :eusa_doh: I'm not from Canada though. Oregon is in the USA. :D

Really? I always thought that Oregon was in Canada..... :eusa_doh: Don't know why though...

There's another secret of mine then. I am an idiot when it comes to geography.

And yes, you must watch South Park. :D Must.... watch... it....

[seanathon]

Really? I always thought that Oregon was in Canada..... :eusa_doh: Don't know why though...

There's another secret of mine then. I am an idiot when it comes to geography.

And yes, you must watch South Park. :D Must.... watch... it....


JUST FOR THAT.

You are my new best friend.

Well South Park the town is real, and it's in Colorado. And I live in Colorado.

But... I've never actually BEEN to South Park. Sighh.

[Anonymous]

Really? I always thought that Oregon was in Canada..... :eusa_doh: Don't know why though...

There's another secret of mine then. I am an idiot when it comes to geography.

And yes, you must watch South Park. :D Must.... watch... it....


JUST FOR THAT.

You are my new best friend.

Well South Park the town is real, and it's in Colorado. And I live in Colorado.

But... I've never actually BEEN to South Park. Sighh.

Haha, at least in my geography-idiocy, I made a new best friend out of it :D

I've been thinking aboot making a pilgrimage to South Park, Colorado. That's how sad I am. :roflmao: There we go, yet another secret.

[pirateninja]

^Yeah, it was me ^

[interstella]

I saw the one person that I might have had a chance with make out with a girl today. It has depressed me hugely.

I just need someone. I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know what to do :tears:

[Miaplacidus]

I really don't like it when people laugh at Uruguay's name, comparing it to "you are gay". I think it's annoying.

I don't find it funny either when people don't know where it is... is my country that insignificant? It only frustrates me more.

[Anonymous]

it annoys me when people get upset about other people not knowing where their country is. We are not all walking maps here. We are humans and we have flaws. Not everyone knows suddenly everything!

but i agree with ^ about the comparing the country name. Its very rude and people shouldn't do it!

[panda]

I really don't like it when people laugh at Uruguay's name, comparing it to "you are gay". I think it's annoying.

I don't find it funny either when people don't know where it is... is my country that insignificant? It only frustrates me more.

Fred, I've never thought of Uruguay as being "you are gay".

I just Googled Uruguay and it's between Argentina and Brazil.Everyone should do that.

[LOVEjames]

I did a research project on South America, and I had to make a map from scratch. I totally remember where everything is in South America. :) So I know where Uruguay is. <3 Capital is Montevideo! I remember 'cuz it's like... the most awesome capital name ever. o.o

[Anonymous]

I really don't like it when people laugh at Uruguay's name, comparing it to "you are gay". I think it's annoying.

I don't find it funny either when people don't know where it is... is my country that insignificant? It only frustrates me more.

1.) I never even thought about Uruguay sounding You are gay, maybe the gay part, but to me that's a compliment.

2.) I don't know where it is because I suck a geography. I only know where the subcontinents are.....iocn_redf

[Brett]

I really don't like it when people laugh at Uruguay's name, comparing it to "you are gay". I think it's annoying.

I don't find it funny either when people don't know where it is... is my country that insignificant? It only frustrates me more.

1.) I never even thought about Uruguay sounding You are gay, maybe the gay part, but to me that's a compliment.

2.) I don't know where it is because I suck a geography. I only know where the subcontinents are.....:icon_redf:

Me....damn checky boxy thinggy......

[Anonymous]

I wanna start working out with Beebo's Fitness thread, but I have such a lack of willpower.

[Brett]

OMG!
After years of posting "BUMPS" in threads, I have just now understood why they are called bumps!
Because they "bump" the thread up to the top of the list!!!
It's like I see the worl through a new light!!! XD

[LOVEjames]

... really, Brett? >_> I mean. xD I know, it's totally awesome!

[Brett]

>.<
I'm still smart though! I swear!!!
.........I'm just a little slow......

[LOVEjames]

Haha. It's all good. xD

[Anonymous]

Although I am pretty "straight acting" if there is such a thing, I usually feel like less than a man. Like I'm worthless. I've never really liked myself. How I look, how I sound.

I also cry at movies, or tv epsecially if it deals with sad love stories. I pretty much contain the emotion when I'm not alone, and I can't feel like I can share that with anyone because "boys don't cry". And I'm afriad I'll never fall in love and find someone I can be completely honest to, and be accepted.

[Anonymous]

I am skiving too much lately. :eusa_liar

[Anonymous]

I'm done with EC.
This site is really awesome, it's helped me so much I don't know what would have done without it and I've met some great people but I think this is the right time for me to be going.
So thanks a million EC but I'm off now.
Love ya !
(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

^ I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we love you too. (&&&)

[Anonymous]

I really need a real big ol' Hug right now... :icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

I really need a real big ol' Hug right now... :icon_sad:

I coulo with a hug atm as well, so let's share our problem and have a big old hug :D

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

i really want to watch this "adult" video because it looks so hot but i have to pay to watch it and i'm so freaking broke i couldn't even think about making an account them you have to throw in the whole underage thing but come on i'm 17 one year off! we have our needs 2 you know and i think its just not right to dangle such beauty in front of us and then be all "you have to be 18 and pay" IT SUCKS!
so horny for this video right now haha.
:bang:

[Lexington]

>>>we have our needs 2 you know

I was twenty before I got to see my first naked guy picture. We hadn't finished inventing the internet yet....

You've got a computer and a working internet connection. If you can't find something free online that'll get you off, you're not trying hard enough.

Lex

[Anonymous]

i know i can find ANYTHING...but i want that video. it looks so cute and hot and...i don't want to settle...i know i have to but it sucks!

[Anonymous]

>>>we have our needs 2 you know

I was twenty before I got to see my first naked guy picture. We hadn't finished inventing the internet yet....

You've got a computer and a working internet connection. If you can't find something free online that'll get you off, you're not trying hard enough.

Lex

Or you've got your eyes closed =/

Its hard to NOT find porn on the internet haha.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes i hate being gay.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell him I like him, because everyone tells him that. But we are getting closer, if I wait too long will it be too late? I'm afraid he won't like me back, because it seems like he has the whole world to choose from. We have a lot in common, but what are the chances of that? Does he want me? :/ I don't want to scare him away, we're becoming really good friends... but I already have lots of those...

[jazzrawr]

Actually...I love being gay. ^.^
Alot of people are ashamed of it, but...i'm not!
I love it...

Sure I'm not completely out yet, but that's because I don't want to ruin friendships.
But i'm getting closer and closer to coming out completely. ^.^

[pirateninja]

Actually...I love being gay. ^.^
Alot of people are ashamed of it, but...i'm not!
I love it...

Me too, it's a part of who I am, and I am far from ashamed of who I am. Sure there will be times where I think "damn, life would probably have been easier if I was straight" but overall I am happy with being gay.

If I wasn't I probably wouldn't have learned stuff like tolerance, and diversity. Plus I wouldn't be part of empty closets, and I never regret the day I signed up to such a wonderful community.

Hmmm... I just thought; it'll be three years this July since I first came out. I gotta have some sort of special wine for that.