Post Secret

[Asteroid]

sometimes i even feel like an outcast on this forum, how come everyone can make friends except me?:icon_sad:

Hi there! Making friends can take a while sometimes. But don't give up on it. I don't know how active you are on the forum, but maybe try posting a bit more on the various forums. One way to interact with EC members and for others to get to know you more is by participating in the Chit Chat section, the fun and games and entertainment sections. Get more involved as it were. I am sure you will make friends on here. Don't give up on it.

[Ronnie92]

I <3 JEM

shh dont tell anyone

[Lexington]

She is, in fact, truly outrageous.

http://i1.iofferphoto.com/img/item/329/308/41/o_jem.jpg

Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

Lex

[Ronnie92]

lol lex

[Paralyzer]

omg Lex, we still have a few Beta movies and I remember we had one of her movies!
AHHHH

[Myzou]

Not much of a secret anymore, sometimes I just wanna crawl into a corner and disappear... Like, not be there anymore, not die or anything like that, just... cease to be... -.- If anyone knows what I mean >_>

Family continues to stress me about getting a job, which for some reason, I can't seem to get if my life depended on it (Which it probably will soon), and certain people keep asking me why did I bother coming out if I'm never going to date, and when I'm going to date and such and oy. -.- And on that note, I've begun shoving away all crushes, etc I get for another person (not the person themselves, the feelings, I hide it, and let it die), I'm just sick of feeling like that -.-

All but ~1-2 of my friends (online and offline) are mad at me for some reason or another, and I only know why for like 2 of them, and they don't know any of my other friends, and AHHHHHHH >_< I'm going crazy, If I did something to make someone mad, you need to TALK TO ME, not ignore me, and automatically assume I know why -.- And those that still talk to me are pressuring me asking if every guy on my friendlist on myspace that is gay, or they suspect to be gay is my boyfriend, despite the fact I've stated I'm single like a million times, and I swear I want to scream, -.-

So yea -.- *sigh* Yes, I coulda posted this anon, but didn't feel like it'd help at all ~.~ Mainly because some of the friends mad at me for some reason and ignoring me are on EC <_<

[Pinstripe]

I hate school and I hate not being at school.

I hate having a fuss made over me, and so I hate my birthday and the commercialism of it and holidays such as Christmas and Easter.

I never tell people at school what marks I get on anything and I get really annoyed when they keep asking after I have said I wouldn't tell them already.

I hate people who are intolerant of or discriminatory towards other people (in regards to gender, sexuality, religion, political beliefs etc.) and I've punched people for misusing the word "gay".

I put on a brave face every day but it is when I am alone and no-one is there to see that the true me comes out.

Some people say I've got ADD while others say I'm depressed. All I know is that I am obviously pretty fucked up (and I think I am depressed too).

People call me homo and I just feel like punching them in the face and saying "I'M NOT GAY!! I'M BISEXUAL FUCK HEAD!" but they would only punch me more...

[Anonymous]

I really really really wish I was dead, or was just never born. The whole permanent solution to a temporary problem does not work when your life feels like one permanent problem.

[Paul_UK]

I really really really wish I was dead, or was just never born. The whole permanent solution to a temporary problem does not work when your life feels like one permanent problem.

Please try to talk to someone. One of the advisors here perhaps? (*hug*)

[BitterEdge]

I really really really wish I was dead, or was just never born. The whole permanent solution to a temporary problem does not work when your life feels like one permanent problem.

I and everyone else is here for you.

[beckyg]

I really really really wish I was dead, or was just never born. The whole permanent solution to a temporary problem does not work when your life feels like one permanent problem.

If you weren't here there would be alot less smiles and alot less laughs. Hang in there. Things are going to get better. Talk to us.

[Anonymous]

She is, in fact, truly outrageous.

http://i1.iofferphoto.com/img/item/329/308/41/o_jem.jpg

Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

Lex

This proves how much of a JEM geek I am Shana(the black girl) is supposed to be on the drums and Aja(asian girl) is lead guitar

[Ronnie92]

^ me

[biisme]

I really really really wish I was dead, or was just never born. The whole permanent solution to a temporary problem does not work when your life feels like one permanent problem.

We're here for you.

(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

[Trumpetplyer23]

People see me as a very huggable person.

My previous English teacher hugged me right before Christmas.

My friends always hug me.

My mom loves to hug me (she's my mom...so I guess this doesn't count)

The student teacher my band class had (whom I hadn't seen in a year) nearly tackle- hugged me at a football game.

All of my female friends feel comfortable hugging me. They aren't afraid that I'll grope them.

I'm like a teddy bear to everyone :D

[Anonymous]

Sometimes i say i wanna kill myself, but really i just want people to notice me

[Lexington]

^ Yeah, I don't know why that's a common thought - that people will notice if we off ourselves. I had it a lot when I was younger. But then I realized how lame it would be to finally get some attention...and not be around to actually revel in it. :)

Lex

[Jebs]

Sometimes i say i wanna kill myself, but really i just want people to notice me

You know it is true.. you definately do get attention saying/attempting suicide. It is just not the type of attention you want, nor something you want to be noticed for. This will result in two things: 1) People alienate you because they think you have 'problems' and don't want to deal with it. OR 2) People won't leave you alone about the topic, which will become rather annoying. In your case that is. Get people to notice you in other ways. There are plenty of ways of doing that without saying you are going to kill yourself.

[Anonymous]

My brother just said that same sex marriages and gays are 'sick'. None of my family disagreed.
That just pushed me further into the closet.

He was also laughing at a disabled person on the television. He needs to learn some respect for people who aren't the same as him.

[lolz]

im browsing EC on my laptop in the hotel room with my parents about 5 feet from me..

;)

[Anonymous]

im afraid of getting my blood tests. not of the actual sucking blood out of my arm, but of the results. i want to know whats wrong, but im afraid of being "the sick girl" again. im know that theres a very good chance it could be diabetes, even my pdiatrition said theres a very huge chance that it could be. im scarred that ill end up sick. i have to take the test. i know i do. i will. im too scarred of the fact of not getting the help i need.

Hi there! You know we are all afraid of the results. We can deal with the blood and other tests, but yes the results are the hardest. But you know what, the sooner doctors figure out what's going on, the sooner they can help you. Don't be afraid of getting the help you need. No worries, everything will be okay.


im going this week.
i found the lab orders, and i have to have 5 tests: glucose, fasting; hemoglobin a1c; insulin, total; alt, serum; tsh. joy! but i have no clue what "alt, serum" is.

You're doing the right thing..:thumbsup:


i got them this morning. :) i'll get the results on thursday or friday. 3 vials taken and my last hpv shot. my left arm REALLY hurts.

the phlebotomist freaked me out when she was taking my blood she told me that i was getting wha is pretty much a diabetes test, and that, because of my family history and current health, i am at a higher risk. thanks alot. :)

[Anonymous]

sometimes i even feel like an outcast on this forum, how come everyone can make friends except me?:icon_sad:

you arent the only one, trust me

[amyleona]

I really really really wish I was dead, or was just never born. The whole permanent solution to a temporary problem does not work when your life feels like one permanent problem.


i know exactly what thats like. i spent over a year like that. my life was f*cked up. i never thought it would get better. and guess what? it didnt. that sounds so helpful, i know. but i changed. i realized that i had a talent, a passion, and that there was a reason i had gone through all of it. its hard, it took me months to accept. the problems havent gone away, but i know that it will all be ok eventually.

please, talk to someone. pleae dont do anything until you do.

[panda]

im afraid of getting my blood tests. not of the actual sucking blood out of my arm, but of the results. i want to know whats wrong, but im afraid of being "the sick girl" again. im know that theres a very good chance it could be diabetes, even my pdiatrition said theres a very huge chance that it could be. im scarred that ill end up sick. i have to take the test. i know i do. i will. im too scarred of the fact of not getting the help i need.

Hi there! You know we are all afraid of the results. We can deal with the blood and other tests, but yes the results are the hardest. But you know what, the sooner doctors figure out what's going on, the sooner they can help you. Don't be afraid of getting the help you need. No worries, everything will be okay.


im going this week.
i found the lab orders, and i have to have 5 tests: glucose, fasting; hemoglobin a1c; insulin, total; alt, serum; tsh. joy! but i have no clue what "alt, serum" is.

You're doing the right thing..:thumbsup:


i got them this morning. :) i'll get the results on thursday or friday. 3 vials taken and my last hpv shot. my left arm REALLY hurts.

the phlebotomist freaked me out when she was taking my blood she told me that i was getting wha is pretty much a diabetes test, and that, because of my family history and current health, i am at a higher risk. thanks alot. :)

If it is diabetes it's no deterrent to a normal life. The advances in modern medicine dealing with diabetes are amazing.
There's loads of athletes competing these days with diabetes.

Check out www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2000/06/01/1929.html
That's famous people with diabetes. Some might be before your time.

It might not be diabetes.

[biisme]

sometimes i even feel like an outcast on this forum, how come everyone can make friends except me?:icon_sad:

you arent the only one, trust me

I will be your friend!!!! Both of you!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

My friends and I got up to shanangins when over at sleepovers

[Anonymous]

sometimes i even feel like an outcast on this forum, how come everyone can make friends except me?:icon_sad:

you arent the only one, trust me

I will be your friend!!!! Both of you!!!!!!!

*second poster*

awww...thank you, darling

[Anonymous]

sometimes i even feel like an outcast on this forum, how come everyone can make friends except me?:icon_sad:

you arent the only one, trust me

I will be your friend!!!! Both of you!!!!!!!

*second poster*

awww...thank you, darling

*first poster*

you are very sweet:)

[Wander]

im browsing EC on my laptop in the hotel room with my parents about 5 feet from me..

;)

I'm currently browsing on my dad's work laptop, with my sister in the next room, my mom upstairs, and my dad in the room across from her. I'm not out to any of them yet.

Not as daring, but still...my mom did catch me with an EC desktop before, but I covered it with an Internet browser before she saw much.

[devushka]

I just got back from spending an evening with old HS friends. it was nice, but then, somehow people got on the topic of Brokeback Mountain and how they couldn't watch it because it was "so gross". *sigh. How annoying that my most conservative friends were the only ones there!

At least tomorrow I get to hang out with my uber-liberal LGBT-activist friend. :)

[Étoile]

I think we try to fool ourselves with delusional optimism to get through the bad situations, but when you think about it, wouldn't you rather be forever naive than eternally pessimistic?

[Anonymous]

what would make me the happiest now is for my mom to just say the :***: sorry and give me a hug. but no she has to be a :***: and let us keep fighting. i just want it to stop....:tears:

[Anonymous]

what would make me the happiest now is for my mom to just say the :***: sorry and give me a hug. but no she has to be a :***: and let us keep fighting. i just want it to stop....:tears:

maybe you should give her a hug

[Anonymous]

Hi there! You know we are all afraid of the results. We can deal with the blood and other tests, but yes the results are the hardest. But you know what, the sooner doctors figure out what's going on, the sooner they can help you. Don't be afraid of getting the help you need. No worries, everything will be okay.


im going this week.
i found the lab orders, and i have to have 5 tests: glucose, fasting; hemoglobin a1c; insulin, total; alt, serum; tsh. joy! but i have no clue what "alt, serum" is.

You're doing the right thing..:thumbsup:


i got them this morning. :) i'll get the results on thursday or friday. 3 vials taken and my last hpv shot. my left arm REALLY hurts.

the phlebotomist freaked me out when she was taking my blood she told me that i was getting wha is pretty much a diabetes test, and that, because of my family history and current health, i am at a higher risk. thanks alot. :)

If it is diabetes it's no deterrent to a normal life. The advances in modern medicine dealing with diabetes are amazing.
There's loads of athletes competing these days with diabetes.

Check out www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2000/06/01/1929.html
That's famous people with diabetes. Some might be before your time.

It might not be diabetes.

thank you! i didnt know a few people on the list, mostly in the athletics section. lol

nick jonas has type 1 :D

*finds silver lining*

ill post when i find out tomorrow or friday

[Anonymous]

The pigs always win....

[seanathon]

The pigs always win....

If you hit them with your sword enough times, yeah, they'll chase you, but all you have to do is run into the ocean. They'll calm down.

[cough i'm addicted to video games]

I feel bad that I read well-known ECer threads before I read other member's threads. :\

[Lexington]

<- Bad sad gargoyle. :(

Lex

[Vampyrecat]

<- Bad sad gargoyle. :(

Lex


Why is Lex the bad sad gargoyle? he always seems lovely and helpful to me :)

[Anonymous]

<- Bad sad gargoyle. :(

Lex


<- Bad sad... um... ape, I guess.

Fred

[Miaplacidus]

<- Bad sad gargoyle. :(

Lex


<- Bad sad... um... ape, I guess. I certainly am hairy enough :tears:

Fred

[Lexington]

>>>Why is Lex the bad sad gargoyle? he always seems lovely and helpful to me.

The gargoyle got selfish, got snippy, said and did things he shouldn't've. Working on trying to make it better. But an ounce of prevention and all that.

Lex

[Anonymous]

I think I'm starting to crush a little bit on my best friend no matter how much I try not to.

Even worse, we're both gay! We've known eachother for a long time and even admitted that we both had crushes on eachother on junior high. Problem is, I don't think I could ever admit it for real.

[Anonymous]

I ignored my friend for a whole day because he killed me in a dream. I was soannoyed with [the dream] him. I felt like a right idiot the next day, though.

[yahooooo]

I don't know what to do. For the first time I almost told my parents - only because I could hardly keep myself together. Usually I can pretend that nothing is wrong but tonight I just couldn't look at them and had to hide my face. I just wanted them to know and to hug me and to reasure me that everything will be okay.
:icon_sad:

[Lexington]

^ You're stuck with a virtual hug, but I CAN reassure you that everything WILL be all right. :) :hugs:

Lex

[Lexington]

^ You're stuck with a virtual hug, but I CAN reassure you that everything WILL be all right. :) (*hug*)

Lex

[Anonymous]

I feel really sorry for fred.


I hpoe he relises that whatever idiot turned him down, is an idiot.



i hope he feels better sooon :)

[Cool Beans]

I ignored my friend for a whole day because he killed me in a dream. I was soannoyed with [the dream] him. I felt like a right idiot the next day, though.
I had a dream like that once. He shot me in the chest in the school office during Jeopardy! I've ignored him a lot in the past few months (regrettably), but not because of that. Sad.

Anyway... secrets... um... I think I'm just a bit too happy and bouncy at work, if you get my drift. Plus I'm pretty darn incompetent, which is sad considering it's a minimum wage job.

[Anonymous]

I ignored my friend for a whole day because he killed me in a dream. I was soannoyed with [the dream] him. I felt like a right idiot the next day, though.

I ignored m best friend for a couple of days because she corrected the grammar in my MSN name....no joke, I ignored her because of a comma :D

[Anonymous]

I ignored my friend for a whole day because he killed me in a dream. I was soannoyed with [the dream] him. I felt like a right idiot the next day, though.

I ignored m best friend for a couple of days because she corrected the grammar in my MSN name....no joke, I ignored her because of a comma :D

what a bitch

[Anonymous]

I haven't spoken to one of my friends in about a month. Our paths haven't had reason to cross, and he was also on vacation for two weeks. I did see him riding with his girlfriend in her car last week, though. He sent me a friend request on Facebook on Tuesday (he just got a page last week since he doesn't have the Internet at home), and all I said on his wall thing was "Hi." I pretend I don't miss him, but I really do. I wish I could give him a hug, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

My mother and my doctor are the only people who have asked to see me with less clothing on.

[Trumpetplyer23]

Meh.

I feel kinda guilty because I'm checking out and drooling over my friend in the band.

It's not my fault she's hot.

But she's just so innocent and, sheltered. I feel like, some kind of sex offender whenever I look at her...But she has never caught me looking...For almost three years. And she's always really nice to me and she thinks I'm funny and always laughs at my jokes. Even the retarded ones.

It's frustrating.

[Anonymous]

I'm overwhelmed with loneliness since I don't have any good friends and no one has ever shown that they cared for me.

[Ronnie92]

I'm overwhelmed with loneliness since I don't have any good friends and no one has ever shown that they cared for me.

Ill be your friend if you'll let me. I think we could have a great friendship

[Anonymous]

I feel as though even though I try and be a good friend and person. I just end up sounding blunt and stupid. Everytime i try and be helpful those are the results and nothing I do or say changes that

[Anonymous]

The fact i have borderline personality disorder makes it hard to be in relationships, i destroyed the one thing i wanted most in the world and i will never forgive myself.

[Asteroid]

I'm overwhelmed with loneliness since I don't have any good friends and no one has ever shown that they cared for me.

Hi there! I'm sorry that you feel this way. Maybe what would help is if you try making some new friends. Maybe it is just a matter of finding other people who might be more inclined to show that they care for you and are willing to be there for you no matter what. Sometimes, it takes a while to find the people with whom we have a really good friendship, but it can and does happen. Never give up on trying to find friends and never give up on friendship itself because we all need them.

If possible, try joining a club or an activity at school or in the community. Over the summer, many community centers have activities for all age groups. You could try looking into something like this, if you are interested. I'm not sure if you have the same feelings during the regular school year, but if you do, try joining a club/activity when school starts again. This will definitely help you building new friendships, which will help you in overcoming your feelings of loneliness. If you don't find something that interests you, you could also create your own club and try to get new members to join. That's also a really good way of getting to know people.

You could also try to build on the existing friendships that you have. Try to get to know your friends better and give them the chance to get to know you. Usually, if people know each other well enough, they do care about each other. Some of your friends, might not know exactly how to convey that they do care about you, but this might change when people get to know you better. Try to hang out more often with your friends, grab a bite to eat, go and see a movie, and try to have some fun with them and see where this might lead you. Becoming good friends with other people requires work from all sides, but if you and they are willing to put the necessary effort into it, stronger friendships will develop.

EC is here as well of course. Try to get to know some people on here. I'm sure you will find quite a few people on here with whom you could be friends.

No worries. As you go through life, you will get to know people who want to get to know you, who want to be your friends, and who care about you.

I hope this helps a bit.

[lap531]

I'm really really sensitive, for example in movie if it is a slight bit sad I'll start to cry and even when I know its comming I still cry(ex. in Girl Interrupted when daisey kills herself I start to cry, I've seen it a thousand times.) I hate it I wish I could be tougher. I act tough but its just to cover the inside emotions. I was not always this emotional, it could be from years of holding feels inside, but whatever. Also I have a crush on Jazz, Grapevine Fires and LornTehViking.

[Anonymous]

The fact i have borderline personality disorder makes it hard to be in relationships, i destroyed the one thing i wanted most in the world and i will never forgive myself.

The first step to regaining what you've lost, or building something new, is learning to forgive yourself. If you feel bad about yourself, it will be harder to open up to others.

[Anonymous]

i am afraid and uncomfortable around people i know with the same name as my childhood molester. one of them is in my close circle of friends.
i know how u feel the same thing happend 2 me and now i hate that name

[Anonymous]

I enjoy swimming, bathing and showering with clothes on.

No one knows this.

me to!!! not like a fetish though, I just enjoy it...like hot chocolate

[Anonymous]

My parents just discovered a gay 18-rated film I bought and have banned me from watching it. It doesn't even deserve an 18, it's only been given that because homosexuality is seen as so controversial. But they have just said that they don't want me watching it.

I feel like they don't understand me at all and underestimate me. And they somehow want me to be isolated and lonely, because they won't let me have any kind of support for my sexuality, and keep trying to close off any sources of support or feeling of belonging.

Or maybe they just question pornography in itself, and dont want their child to watch it.

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

The fact i have borderline personality disorder makes it hard to be in relationships, i destroyed the one thing i wanted most in the world and i will never forgive myself.

I have borderline personality disorder too if you ever want to talk about its pains. (*hug*)

[nodoubtjunkie]

I may have a teeny little crush on 2 fellow EC members....

I'm actually terrified of going back to school....

I'm even more scared of getting my exam results on the 21st of this month....

Even though this is the only time I'm going to admit it, I'm really missing my mum right now...

I'm absolutely dreading 17th August, I'm really scared I'm going to do something bad....

I'm really really excited at the prospect of my future, it all looks so amazing....

I have a skin condition which is in a pretty bad flare up at the moment and it makes me feel horrible and really unattractive and i'm scared my girlfriend is going to find it as disgusting as i do one day.

Although i'm really really happy, i had a bad moment on tuesday and slipped up =[ ....

There are other things i'd dearly love to post, but i don't trust myself, perhaps i will do it one day anonymously (thats a funny word to spell....).

[Anonymous]

The fact i have borderline personality disorder makes it hard to be in relationships, i destroyed the one thing i wanted most in the world and i will never forgive myself.

you should forgive yourself.

things may not be as bad as they seem, all hope should never be lost.

[Anonymous]

I've been listening to a mixture of Lolly and the A*Teens for the past hour lol. Fantastic mood music, guaranteed to lift even the worst spirit but i will burn in hell for my music choice lol.

[nodoubtjunkie]

Whoops.

^that was me =]=]=]=]^

[Anonymous]

havnt slep at night for the last 4 days in a row

[Paul_UK]

I've been listening to a mixture of Lolly and the A*Teens for the past hour lol. Fantastic mood music, guaranteed to lift even the worst spirit but i will burn in hell for my music choice lol.

Yay, I love A*Teens! :eusa_danc I've not heard of Lollo, I'll have to look them up now.

[Invisible]

I like the Spice Girls :icon_redf

[Anonymous]

I like the Spice Girls :icon_redf

So do I.(!)

[lap531]

That was me above (stupid red box)

[Anonymous]

Posting in this thread makes me feel oh so naughty...









LMAO.

[Anonymous]

I find myself always wanting to post advice and be supportive, but I don't do it very much. By the time I get to most of the threads, 37 other people have already said what I was going to say, so what's the point? I mean, I'm glad people are getting support; I just wish I could help too. But it's okay. I probably give bad advice anyway. I lack the whole "life experience" thing.

[Anonymous]

I find myself always wanting to post advice and be supportive, but I don't do it very much. By the time I get to most of the threads, 37 other people have already said what I was going to say, so what's the point? I mean, I'm glad people are getting support; I just wish I could help too. But it's okay. I probably give bad advice anyway. I lack the whole "life experience" thing.

Personally I hate when that happens, not because I would help but because it's annoying.

POST 1: QUESTION
POST 2: ANSWER 1
POST 3: YES, DO ANSWER 1
POST 4: I AGREE WITH ANSWER 1
POST 5: ANSWER 1 IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO

Ugh.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid my boyfriend is bored with me and doesn't like me anymore.

[Arrk]

I have a crush on Avril Lavigne and Rihanna.

:icon_redf

[Anonymous]

I've always wanted to write a Postsecret post card and actually mail it, but I'm afraid to because then everyone will know my secret.

[Anonymous]

i liked my best friend till she told me girl on girl was weird.

[Anonymous]

I'm feeling both angry and hurt at the moment. My friends and I have wanted to go to the zoo all summer but our schedules havent really worked out. Earlier in the summer we had a date set and were all ready to go when all of a sudden Sam had to work, so we didn't go. Now they were talking about going tomorrow but I can't go tomorrow and I told them that. And what is their reaction? They are going to go without me....

Idk, it just hurts that they were williing to postpone it for Sam, but not for me :(

[Joey]

Not really a secret, but I really want to become a MMA fighter. I think it would be really badass.
The only bad thing though is that I haven't really been in many fights and training would be a ridiculous bitch... but it would be awesome to have to register my fists as deadly weapons :D

[jony8472]

I like the Spice Girls :icon_redf

Tell me what you want, what you really really want=]

Nothing embarassing about it(!)

[Anonymous]

I have no real friends.

[Jebs]

I have no real friends.

Tell me about it. But I'm working on it.

[Lexington]

>>>Idk, it just hurts that they were williing to postpone it for Sam, but not for me.

It kinda looks that way, but it might not be. How much earlier in the summer was the cancelled date? It may have been that back then, everybody thought "Well, we've got plenty of summer left - we'll just reschedule". Now that it's the middle of August, they may be thinking "Either we do it now, or we'll never get to do it this summer."

Just a thought.

Lex

[beckyg]

I have no real friends.

(*hug*) Make a pact with yourself this week to reach out to somebody new. Talk to them. Everybody likes to talk about themself. So all you have to do is ask them a question to start the conversation then go from there. You can do it!

[Anonymous]

I have only ever crushed on girls 5-11 years older than me because they are so much more mature and I fit in with them better.

I feel like I should stop making plans. Most people my age don't know what they are doing next month, I have a good idea of the next nine years with contingent and backup plans... it is rather depressing actually.

[beyondken]

ONE
Thinking about being gay often makes me miss my father, very deeply. He died suddenly in a year when I was opening up to him gradually more. Thinking back, he seemed okay enough with homosexuals that it surprised me (being used to homophobia in what seemed like everyone else, including/particularly? my family, as I was). By the end of the (calendar) year that Dad died, I was beginning to realise (well, realise and accept instead of dismiss, for a change) that I was gay. It was a freaking tough time. I hate that I never told him so many things and that I can never share that same kind of unique closeness that I had with my dad with anybody else.. the same kind of closeness that I suspect would have found me quite an in-family ally had I ever mustered up the courage to speak those particular personal words with him.

I hate that I will never be able to tell my father that I am gay and then hug him to show that I am the same daughter he always had, and he the most wonderful dad. Therein lies the secret regret.

It brings up so many more other feelings attached to my dad and his death.. the secret regret makes the silly old secret of being gay a trigger for... what it surely shouldn't..

TWO
I always feel really stupid sending words I have written, to people.

THREE
I lie about my bedtime to anyone who asks.

[Lexington]

>>>I always feel really stupid sending words I have written, to people.

Much better your words than someone else's.

>>>I lie about my bedtime to anyone who asks.

Foward or back? :)

And for the first part. (*hug*)

Lex

[Asteroid]

I have no real friends.

Hi there! (*hug*) One way to make new friends and get to know people, would be by joining a club or an activity in your community. School is around the corner. Try to join an activity that interests you where you can and will be able to find new friends. Alternatively, try to create your own club, which will allow you to get to know people as well. As Becky in her reply mentioned, people do like to talk about themselves. Try to start a conversation and take it from there. Over time, you will find real friends who want to be with you and care about you. Never give up on finding friends. No worries. You will find real friends.

[Anonymous]

I've never dated, kissed anyone and feel lonely most of the time...its more aggravating than depressing though.

[Arrk]

THREE
I lie about my bedtime to anyone who asks.

At my school, we truly envy people who have the chance to go to sleep early. :[
Too much work and not enough hours in the day.

*Sigh*

Not looking forward to my Junior year's course load...3 APs (English and Spanish will be easy though, yay!) , 2 Honors, then 2 other regular classes.

I might not have a social life this year, lol.

[Anonymous]

I wish I wasn't me.

[tylerksub]

Parents are getting phone calls about a $800 doctor bill my mother got 3-5 months ago for a wrist problem, there were x-rays taken and nothing was wrong. Problem is it happened the day before her insurance was renewed so its all on us. Its due NOW and my parents barely have enough for rent so i'll end up taking the bill out of my wallet and what i have saved for school books and drivers ed. I'm angry at them for how they spend there excess money. I'm even angrier at how this is making me feel. I feel selfish and i just want to go up and yell at them but it wont change a thing.:***:

[Anonymous]

It's only 9 days till GCSE exam results day, and i'm fooking terrified.

[BitterEdge]

Parents are getting phone calls about a $800 doctor bill my mother got 3-5 months ago for a wrist problem, there were x-rays taken and nothing was wrong. Problem is it happened the day before her insurance was renewed so its all on us. Its due NOW and my parents barely have enough for rent so i'll end up taking the bill out of my wallet and what i have saved for school books and drivers ed. I'm angry at them for how they spend there excess money. I'm even angrier at how this is making me feel. I feel selfish and i just want to go up and yell at them but it wont change a thing.:***:

I have had a similar feeling towards my parents, but trust me when I tell you this you shouldn't foot their bills at your age, they need to learn to be more money conscious and they will only learn that through experience.

Let me know if you need an ear.

[Nevermind]

It's only 9 days till GCSE exam results day, and i'm fooking terrified.

I second that, I'm soooo gonna fail english lit :tears:

[Anonymous]

It's only 9 days till GCSE exam results day, and i'm fooking terrified.

I second that, I'm soooo gonna fail english lit :tears:

I'm with you both :) except I'm pretty chilled about it. I know I didn't do too well in some, but whatever. Life's too short to worry.

[Anonymous]

It's only 9 days till GCSE exam results day, and i'm fooking terrified.

I second that, I'm soooo gonna fail english lit :tears:

I'm with you both :) except I'm pretty chilled about it. I know I didn't do too well in some, but whatever. Life's too short to worry.

But i can't help thinking that so much of my future depends on that stupid piece of paper that i can't help worrying, without my GCSE results, i won't get on the courses i want to get on and there for won't get the qualifications i need for the uni course i've been looking at and my whole life plan will go to the dogs and i will never achieve my life goals.

*breathes deeply*

[Asteroid]

It's only 9 days till GCSE exam results day, and i'm fooking terrified.

I second that, I'm soooo gonna fail english lit :tears:

I'm with you both :) except I'm pretty chilled about it. I know I didn't do too well in some, but whatever. Life's too short to worry.

But i can't help thinking that so much of my future depends on that stupid piece of paper that i can't help worrying, without my GCSE results, i won't get on the courses i want to get on and there for won't get the qualifications i need for the uni course i've been looking at and my whole life plan will go to the dogs and i will never achieve my life goals.

*breathes deeply*

Hi guys...okay...take a deep breath. You have studied for the exam and have you taken it. It's done. I am sure you all passed the exam and did well on it. You will be able to enter the university and take the courses that you want to take. Everything is going to be alright. No worries.

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid to change the "interested in" status on Facebook. Fuck, I think I'll just go for it.

[heatqueen]

I'm also getting back my GCSEs.

I think I messed up maths...and it's meant to be one of my better subjects...

Thank god I dropped it.

[yahooooo]

Wooo yet another person freaking out about GCSE's here!!!

Seriously so nervous but I suppose there is nothing I can do.. still..

Scary.....

:tears::tears::tears:

[Anonymous]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf

[Alexander]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf



I do too. :D

[Anonymous]

>>>I always feel really stupid sending words I have written, to people.

Much better your words than someone else's.

>>>I lie about my bedtime to anyone who asks.

Foward or back? :)

And for the first part. (*hug*)

Lex

Thanks Lex. (*hug*)

And it's... forward and back and "I do/don't have a regular bedtime at the moment" and all sorts of variations, depending on who's asking. ...I think this counts as telling the truth to somebody who's asked, for a change. :eek:

[Anonymous]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf



I do too. :D

Me too.

[lap531]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf



I do too. :D

Me too.

So do I :)

[Anonymous]

I have no clue what GCSE's are.

[seanathon]

I have no clue what GCSE's are.

I think it's like some British test thing.

[Joey]

I totally wish I was built like an Olympic gymnast! They're really put together well. But I guess I'll have to settle with a pudgy rugby/football player build :(




Congratulations American Team All Around for bringing home bronze!

[moonlight]

I have no clue what GCSE's are.

I think it's like some British test thing.

A GCSE is a General Certificate of Secondary Education.
A set of qualifictions awarded after taking a lot of exams, usually taken at the age of 15 or 16.
They mark the end of our compulsory education.

Some choose to leave school at this at age, but many then go on to study A Levels (Advanced level general certificate of secondary education) taken usually at 17 or 18

Then they can go on to University.


Good luck to all those waiting for their results, I'm sure that you will all do better than you thought.
I remember those anxious days and weeks of waiting.

[nodoubtjunkie]

I have no clue what GCSE's are.

it stand for General Certificate of Secondry Education, taken at the age of between 14 and 16 and can be taken in a range of subjects. They are basically a qualification for when you leave school.

[Anonymous]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf



I do too. :D

Me too.

So do I :)

Same here

[heatqueen]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf



I do too. :D

Me too.

So do I :)

Me five!! :D

[Anonymous]

I think Jazz is cute :icon_redf



I do too. :D

Me too.

So do I :)

Me five!! :D


I'm six! :lol:

[Anonymous]

I do too. :D

Me too.

So do I :)

Me five!! :D


I'm six! :lol:

me seven

[Anonymous]

Me too.

So do I :)

Me five!! :D


I'm six! :lol:

me seven

me eight :thumbsup:

[jazzrawr]

So do I :)

Me five!! :D


I'm six! :lol:

me seven

me eight :thumbsup:
Wow....well thanks guys! 0.o
I dodn't think so many people thought i was cute! XD
Wish i knew who some of you were, though! :p
I feel so pretty...:)

[Miaplacidus]

Me five!! :D


I'm six! :lol:

me seven

me eight :thumbsup:
Wow....well thanks guys! 0.o
I dodn't think so many people thought i was cute! XD
Wish i knew who some of you were, though! :p
I feel so pretty...:)

Careful with what you want. Me nine... but I have a... um... penis. LOL

[Martin]

Hmmm, using the anonymous forum to aim negative posts at other members is not acceptable. Please avoid doing it in future.

Just to add, the blog entry was from a game of Truth or Dare. It wasn't meant to be serious.

[Miaplacidus]

I'm using Internet Explorer. :O

(I haven't had the time to install Firefox after reinstalling... well.. WINDOWS)

[Nevermind]

I'm using Internet Explorer. :O

(I haven't had the time to install Firefox after reinstalling... well.. WINDOWS)

Blasphemy! :eusa_naug

*looks around shiftily*

I'm using internet explorer too.

*runs away screaming*

[Anonymous]

I'm WAY too scared of my family!
:(

[Arrk]

I can't keep going on EC.

It's too much of a hassle to say the least.
I can't keep going on here if I want to tell my family my orientation myself instead of getting caught. (I almost got caught by the way.)

So yeah.

[matt3208pc]

I may have cheated on a test today, i know, im a bad boy.

[Trumpetplyer23]

I feel kind of shitty because I've had to beg for a ride from band practice.

I had to look up two girls, one of which I have (had?) a crush on, in the phone book, just to get a ride.

I hate not being able to drive.

[Anonymous]

I may be getting just a little bit over excited watching the olympic gymnastics =]

[heatqueen]

^Lol I love the olympic gymnastics!! ;)

[Lexington]

Whatever it was, I think it's out of my system now.

Lex

[Joey]

Meh... sometimes, if I have a bad day, I kinda wish that my car would careen off the road and smack into a tree :dry: I seemed to have one of those kinda days yesterday. In a little less grandiose way, I kinda want to meander off somewhere and not go back to where ever I came from.

[Anonymous]

I don't like watching the second half of Coyote Ugly cos I know it gets so sad before it gets happy

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I wish I was just asexual. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much about boys.

[Anonymous]

I wish my hormones would calm down already. I'm 19 and have yet to have been in a relationship with anyone. It seems like I'm thinking about sex/checking women out all the time. Why can't I be in a relationship, casual or serious, already? I can't take much more waiting.

[Anonymous]

I've finally figured out what I want to do as a job when I'm older. (!)

No reading is involved in the courses, it has very good pay, I live really near the best university to study it, high demand for experts in the field, and flexible hours (which I really need). I can't see one down side.

[Trumpetplyer23]

Hehe, I've never told anyone this, but....

When I first met my now best friend, I thought she was kinda hot and almost developed a crush on her....

But she's straight, and I don't have a crush on her. As well that ends well, right?

[Anonymous]

I'm Afraid.

[Anonymous]

I'm Afraid.

That makes two of us

[Anonymous]

EUUURGH.. I don't want to go out tommorrow night but I think I should at least TRY to be sociable despite the fact the people I will be spending my time with are rather immature, homophobic and lets face it - boring! Why is it all my interesting, clever friends are so introverted?? I still love them to bits though!!

Basically I spend far too much time what doing what is expected from me as I don't like letting people down. I would far rather stay in thank you very much!! Oh well..

[Lexington]

>>>Why is it all my interesting, clever friends are so introverted?

Why don't you organize a get-together/party/event for all your interesting, clever, introverted friends? They'll probably be really happy you did. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

i feel the weight of the world in my hands.

[Mmmike]

I had my future all planned out and last night it fell apart and everything changed.
I 'm not used to doing things without a plan. I hope it goes well ;]

[tylerksub]

I have been trying to think and research every job i think i would enjoy making my career. Over the last few days i've decided that i would like to be a Commercial Pilot. Just thinking about it makes me feel stupid but its really what i wanna do. I dont think its a secret but i read somewhere that Sharing a goal with people who want to put you down will only hurt your confidence but EC dosent feel like that kinda place.

I think i'm out of secrets now, just stuff i dont want to talk about! YAY! :king:

[Lexington]

Why would wanting to be a commercial pilot make you feel stupid? :) I know a couple, and they're cool folks. :thumbsup:

Lex

[Wander]

I take a lot of pride in the fact that not one person has ever mistaken me for being younger than I am; I've had people I tell me that I look or act up to five years older than I actually am, which is a bit of a compliment at this age.

[Anonymous]

I'm so unattractive I turned a queer girl straight. She's always said that she's mostly into girls, but she chose to be with a guy she didn't even like much over me, even though she said she was interested in me. Then she did it again, just a couple of weeks later, with a different guy. There must really be something wrong with me.

[Nevermind]

I'm so unattractive I turned a queer girl straight. She's always said that she's mostly into girls, but she chose to be with a guy she didn't even like much over me, even though she said she was interested in me. Then she did it again, just a couple of weeks later, with a different guy. There must really be something wrong with me.

Sounds like there's something wrong with her not you.

[pirateninja]

My A level results are going to come in the post any minute now. I'm scared out my mind, because I know I didn't put as much effort in as I could have. And now I know my friend has 6 A's.

I wish they'd just come rather than me waiting and worrying what they are.

[davo-man]

I'm obsessed with RENT

Like, consumed by it

I'm listening to it right now

I also have 4 recordings of the score (OBCR, OST, NYTW and Demo Recording)

I also have the movie on my iPhone and the RENT10 performance

Obsessed much?

[Ty]

I'm obsessed with RENT

Like, consumed by it

I'm listening to it right now

I also have 4 recordings of the score (OBCR, OST, NYTW and Demo Recording)

I also have the movie on my iPhone and the RENT10 performance

Obsessed much?

yay you have one !:D

Hmm secrect for me....

I'm starting to turn Communist-ish, but i'd more associate myself with the labour party. I think its the states responsibility to protect the subjects/citizens, and thats what Labour does. I don't know exactly what I am :P I have some Conservative views and some Communist. Yum.

[Ty]

Oh, and I can sing the internationale in 4 different languages :D

[pirateninja]

I just got my exam results.

I passed them all. Not stupendously well, but well enough to give myself the point score I need for University.

I don't think my dad's too happy though.

[beyondken]

Meh, the numbers won't matter within a few months or weeks, even. Shame your dad's disappointed, but if those results allow you to do what you want to, there shouldn't be anything long-term to really worry about. Congratulations.




My secret: I might have to file special consideration forms for my VCE results (last two years of high-school, of which the last semester or two only really count to those who recognise schooling), due to "the extended nature of [my] illness".

Being sick and staying so for ages is nothing new to me, it's happened all my life, but this will be the first time I've ever officially requested any kind of "compensation" (I guess) for it. And I feel like such a scab... but knowing that it's an option now relieves so much pressure (for the time being) and I can focus a bit more on trying to get better.

[firecausesburns]

My secret: I might have to file special consideration forms for my VCE results (last two years of high-school, of which the last semester or two only really count to those who recognise schooling), due to "the extended nature of [my] illness".

Being sick and staying so for ages is nothing new to me, it's happened all my life, but this will be the first time I've ever officially requested any kind of "compensation" (I guess) for it. And I feel like such a scab... but knowing that it's an option now relieves so much pressure (for the time being) and I can focus a bit more on trying to get better.

I'm in the middle of doing the same thing. Because I don't have a lot of obvious symptoms, a lot of people including someone who's meant to be a close friend) think I'm jsut being slack and trying to get away with doing less work. I feel weird about getting the consideration, but I'm entitled to it, as are you, so we both may as well take the opportunity.

[interstella]

I was on the family computer and I saw many pages relating to divorce in the IE history, including one called "telling your kids about divorce"

I don't want my dad to leave. I don't want to only see him on weekends. A divorce is probably inevitable but I still don't want it to happen.
I'm scared.:help:

[panda]

I just got my exam results.

I passed them all. Not stupendously well, but well enough to give myself the point score I need for University.

I don't think my dad's too happy though.

Congratulations Holly>>:thumbsup:

[moonlight]

I just got my exam results.

I passed them all. Not stupendously well, but well enough to give myself the point score I need for University.

I don't think my dad's too happy though.


Congratulations Holly, Glad you passed.

[Anonymous]

I still distinctly remember the time I accidentally found my parent's store of..."toys". I won't go into detail, but there were four flavors to a box and several empty wrappers. That really split my mind in half at that age.

[pirateninja]

Yes, I distinctly remember finding my parents' store of condoms. *shivers* As much as "sex is natural for everyone" and shizzle, it's still really disturbing when you think of your parents having sex.

[Anonymous]

Although I'm gay, I like watching futanari Hentai

I guess It's because of the art not the sex... (I guess)

[Anonymous]

Yes, I distinctly remember finding my parents' store of condoms. *shivers* As much as "sex is natural for everyone" and shizzle, it's still really disturbing when you think of your parents having sex.

It really is. Talking to them about even the most casual subjects, over the following week or so, was incredibly awkward.

[Lexington]

>>>I don't want my dad to leave. I don't want to only see him on weekends. A divorce is probably inevitable but I still don't want it to happen. I'm scared.

Sometimes, the fear of something happening - the entire "unknown" - ends up being scarier than the actuality. Maybe you can sit down with your dad, tell him what you found, and talk to him about it. He obviously is having troubles himself, and cares enough about you to try to find out how to approach you about this sort of thing. So maybe a talk would be beneficial for both of you.

Lex

[nodoubtjunkie]

I'm feeling a little off, i'm not sure quite how to feel right now.

I visited my uncles' grave for the first time today, it would have been his 43rd birthday tomorrow. It will be 3 years at christmas since he passed away, and i've only just plucked up the courage to go and see him. I went by myself, i spent an hour and a half walking round the crematorium trying to find his grave, i have never felt the way i did as i looked around aimlessly unable to find his name amongst the sea of grave stones, i felt so useless, so helpless and so, so sorry. I just felt like it was my own fault, that i should have dealt with his death better than i did, and then maybe i could have faced going to visit his grave sooner than today. But it was the emotion that i felt when i saw his name on his stone that i didn't understand. I felt almost happy, joyful, relieved to see it.

So i don't really know how to feel, on one hand, i feel really happy that i went, on the other hand, i feel like shit cause i know now that he really is gone and that he isn't ever going to be back, i suppose i've been kidding myself subconciously for the past 2 1/2 years, that maybe he just went on a really long holiday or something. I took flowers and a card for his birthday, all i put in the card was 'sorry it took so long'.

bleurgh.

[Lexington]

It's called "acceptance". And he'd probably be really happy you reached it. :)

Lex

[pirateninja]

I've just crossed the boundry from "sober" to "rather drunk".

Maybe tthats not much of a secret. I need to trying typing this out after a few more glasses.

[davo-man]

I've just crossed the boundry from "sober" to "rather drunk".

Maybe tthats not much of a secret. I need to trying typing this out after a few more glasses.

I've just crossed the line from grumpy to amused :D

Today I had an intoxicated customer steal from me :(...And it took my manager 15 minutes to realise I was meant to finish 15 minutes ago...I got out 20 minutes late :(

[Anonymous]

Yes, I distinctly remember finding my parents' store of condoms. *shivers* As much as "sex is natural for everyone" and shizzle, it's still really disturbing when you think of your parents having sex.

It really is. Talking to them about even the most casual subjects, over the following week or so, was incredibly awkward.

I know what you mean!! Once my mum, sis and I were talking about coils and my sis was like 'why do you have a coil' and my mum was like, 'Your father and I still have sex you know!!'

Way too many bad images!!!

[Anonymous]

This weekend I managed to drink moderately rather than heavily (!)

[-Michael-]

http://www.smiliegenerator.de/s35/smilies-27476.png

[Joey]

This is silly... but I have a rather large crush on this fella who goes to my church. He's like, 40-something and looks like he has a daughter around 15~16, but no wedding band and she isn't with him every week. But, earlier today when we did the whole communion thang and there were two lines up the middle aisle, I was disappointed and a little sad that I didn't get to stand next to him... he was like, 4 or 5 people ahead of me.:tears:

[Anonymous]

As unhealthy as it may be, I will battle my problems myself. No one else needs to know what I'm going through. Everyone else already has their own problems, they don't need to be concerned with mine. I don't want to think only about myself for once. I just want everyone else to be happy.

[Anonymous]

this one is kinda gross but i once had a wet dream about my own brother. yes, i'm sure it was a wet dream because of the evidence i woke up with and yes, it bothers me to this day.

[Anonymous]

i just found out that with my mental disorders i may never have a real job, move out, and be able to have a family of my own. i can always try but i got delt really bad cards so it may be impossible to do these things. that makes me feel sad, hopeless, and screwed up. i have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety disorder. yup all of them. on their own they are treatable but i've been in therapy since i was 8 and i'm 16. and i may never go off all the meds i'm on. this makes my life feel sucky. i stay at home all day because i'm too afriad of the world. i do go out on errands and out to eat but i never look people in the eye. i'd be suicidal but i've tried and its not worth it. i just hate that i'm me- alll messed up. i guess i can learn to live with my disorders. i realized all this before but to hear my mom say it directly to me... it made it real. i wish i could evantually get married, have non-online friends, and simply just go up and order my own ice cream without being terrified. :tears:

[Joey]

So.... I said something incredibly ignorant yesterday. I was reading a pamphlet thing about quitting smoking and got to thinking why it is so difficult to quit smoking... I know there is that whole, chemical dependency and it's incredibly habitual.
And I voiced my question to wide disdain, mainly from my brother. I believe it went something like this:
Me: "I don't see what's so difficult about quitting cigarettes. I mean, if you really want to do it, you'll do it.... but still, I don't see why it's so hard and why so many people fail at it."
Tim: "...are you serious?"
Me: "Yessum... it just escapes me as to why it's so difficult."
Tim: "...that is possibly the most ignorant thing I've ever heard somebody say!"

There was a heated discussion in the middle of a Barnes and Noble, and eventually he put the challenge to me that I should start smoking and after a year try to quit and see what it's like.

And I'm actually thinking about it. I think it'd be pretty interesting, and I want to see what all the "hooplah" is about and whatnot... doubt I'd do it though, instead he said to quit caffeine all together a little later. So I have, and I plan on keeping it going to prove a point.
Said point being, it's not too terribly difficult to change a person's' dependencies and habits.







...I've probably made enemies right now :lol:

[nodoubtjunkie]

i just found out that with my mental disorders i may never have a real job, move out, and be able to have a family of my own. i can always try but i got delt really bad cards so it may be impossible to do these things. that makes me feel sad, hopeless, and screwed up. i have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety disorder. yup all of them. on their own they are treatable but i've been in therapy since i was 8 and i'm 16. and i may never go off all the meds i'm on. this makes my life feel sucky. i stay at home all day because i'm too afriad of the world. i do go out on errands and out to eat but i never look people in the eye. i'd be suicidal but i've tried and its not worth it. i just hate that i'm me- alll messed up. i guess i can learn to live with my disorders. i realized all this before but to hear my mom say it directly to me... it made it real. i wish i could evantually get married, have non-online friends, and simply just go up and order my own ice cream without being terrified. :tears:

You can do it.

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I really like somone on EC....


im not even sure if they know i exsist...

how funny...:rolleyes::eusa_doh:

[-Michael-]

i just found out that with my mental disorders i may never have a real job, move out, and be able to have a family of my own. i can always try but i got delt really bad cards so it may be impossible to do these things. that makes me feel sad, hopeless, and screwed up. i have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety disorder. yup all of them. on their own they are treatable but i've been in therapy since i was 8 and i'm 16. and i may never go off all the meds i'm on. this makes my life feel sucky. i stay at home all day because i'm too afriad of the world. i do go out on errands and out to eat but i never look people in the eye. i'd be suicidal but i've tried and its not worth it. i just hate that i'm me- alll messed up. i guess i can learn to live with my disorders. i realized all this before but to hear my mom say it directly to me... it made it real. i wish i could evantually get married, have non-online friends, and simply just go up and order my own ice cream without being terrified. :tears:

Id be your offline friend (&&&):kiss:(*hug*)

[Starlight]

I really like somone on EC....


im not even sure if they know i exsist...

how funny...:rolleyes::eusa_doh:


Then you should drop really obvious yet subtle hints :p

But no serriously I'm sure they'd love to know that someone likes them even done anonymously (*hug*)

I know I would but that doesn't happen too often :lol:

[panda]

i just found out that with my mental disorders i may never have a real job, move out, and be able to have a family of my own. i can always try but i got delt really bad cards so it may be impossible to do these things. that makes me feel sad, hopeless, and screwed up. i have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety disorder. yup all of them. on their own they are treatable but i've been in therapy since i was 8 and i'm 16. and i may never go off all the meds i'm on. this makes my life feel sucky. i stay at home all day because i'm too afriad of the world. i do go out on errands and out to eat but i never look people in the eye. i'd be suicidal but i've tried and its not worth it. i just hate that i'm me- alll messed up. i guess i can learn to live with my disorders. i realized all this before but to hear my mom say it directly to me... it made it real. i wish i could evantually get married, have non-online friends, and simply just go up and order my own ice cream without being terrified. :tears:

Maybe try one thing, like the ice cream trip. Or some other little thing that you can succeed in doing.
If you look at the whole thing ,it's overwhelming but little steps can help.

I've always liked the Bill Murray movie "What About Bob" where he talks about taking "Baby Steps" .

Keep Doing.:thumbsup:

[Anonymous]

apparantly people with chronic illnesses lack the ability to make friends.

apparantly people with chronic illnesses lack the ability to keep their friends from when they were healthy.

apparantly people with chronic illnesses can still fake a smile.















I can see you staring. I can hear you whispering. And it hurts.

[Jim1454]

So.... I said something incredibly ignorant yesterday. I was reading a pamphlet thing about quitting smoking and got to thinking why it is so difficult to quit smoking... I know there is that whole, chemical dependency and it's incredibly habitual.
And I voiced my question to wide disdain, mainly from my brother. I believe it went something like this:
Me: "I don't see what's so difficult about quitting cigarettes. I mean, if you really want to do it, you'll do it.... but still, I don't see why it's so hard and why so many people fail at it."
Tim: "...are you serious?"
Me: "Yessum... it just escapes me as to why it's so difficult."
Tim: "...that is possibly the most ignorant thing I've ever heard somebody say!"

There was a heated discussion in the middle of a Barnes and Noble, and eventually he put the challenge to me that I should start smoking and after a year try to quit and see what it's like.

And I'm actually thinking about it. I think it'd be pretty interesting, and I want to see what all the "hooplah" is about and whatnot... doubt I'd do it though, instead he said to quit caffeine all together a little later. So I have, and I plan on keeping it going to prove a point.
Said point being, it's not too terribly difficult to change a person's' dependencies and habits.

...I've probably made enemies right now :lol:

I'm certainly not an enemy, but...

Until you've walked a mile in someone's shoes, is it really fair to make these kinds of judgements? How different is that from a straight person saying "I don't know why you choose to be gay? Stop being such an attention whore and just be straight already!"

There are habits, dependencies, and addictions. The ease by which someone can escape or stop depends on what the thing is and who the person is. You could very well be able to stop smoking after a year. But that doesn't mean it would be easy for someone else.

And to lump all 'habits and dependencies' into one bucket isn't really fair either.

(And is it just me, or are these hardly 'secrets' when everyone unclicks the 'anonymous' box?)

[heatqueen]

(And is it just me, or are these hardly 'secrets' when everyone unclicks the 'anonymous' box?)

I agree...I mean by unticking the box you might as well be telling the world.

[Anonymous]

i've just seen mamma mia. and for some reason, i was drooling over a couple of the cast members.

of which one was meryl streep, she's looking mighty fine for her age. but it's kinda wierded me out a little, the fact that she is how old she is.

never mind, its just one woman, in one particular movie...

right?

[Lexington]

>>>Said point being, it's not too terribly difficult to change a person's' dependencies and habits.

No, it's (presumably) not too terribly difficult for YOU to change YOUR dependencies and habits.

My partner has some sort of issue with getting up in the morning. I mean, he can't. Literally can't. He falls back asleep constantly. He's missed important meetings and appointments because he can't get out of bed unless I'm there pushing.

For years, I just assumed he was lazy. But finally I realized he isn't lazy. He just can't do it. He doesn't wake up all the way, and falls back asleep too easily. It's a constant struggle for him. He really DOES try really hard to get up on time, but he needs help to do it reliably. But from my angle, for years, it just looked like he was a lazy bum.

Lex

[Anonymous]

For the past few nights, I've been getting only about 3 hours of sleep.

[Lexington]

^ Oddly, I've been getting about five hours a night. Even stranger, I don't feel tired. I guess I'm doing fine, and my body will let me know if I need more.

How are you feeling on three?

Lex

[Anonymous]

^ Oddly, I've been getting about five hours a night. Even stranger, I don't feel tired. I guess I'm doing fine, and my body will let me know if I need more.

How are you feeling on three?

Lex

I feel tired lol

I think my body is having a bit of trouble, going from 12 hours of sleep to 3...

[Lexington]

Yeah, it happens. :) Listen to your body. If you're at home, and it says go to sleep, unless you've gotta be somewhere in the next hour or two, do it - sleep. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it happens. :) Listen to your body. If you're at home, and it says go to sleep, unless you've gotta be somewhere in the next hour or two, do it - sleep. :)

Lex

Yea, I took a two hour nap today. But then, after I woke up, I felt like I wasted so much time...and here I am at 1 am doing homework...

[Anonymous]

This time tomorrow my partner will know that our relationship is over.

[-Michael-]

IN 30 MINUTES TIME I WILL KNOW MY GCSE RESULTS :'(


BUGGER ME
IM SO NERVOUS....

:)

I may have a mild crush on someone in EC :)

[Starlight]

IN 30 MINUTES TIME I WILL KNOW MY GCSE RESULTS :'(


BUGGER ME
IM SO NERVOUS....

:)

I may have a mild crush on someone in EC :)

Been there with exam results, hope you've done well (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

For the past few nights, I've been getting only about 3 hours of sleep.

^ Oddly, I've been getting about five hours a night.

Can we swap? I sleep between 16-18 hours each night

[Étoile]

For the past few nights, I've been getting only about 3 hours of sleep.

^ Oddly, I've been getting about five hours a night.

Can we swap? I sleep between 16-18 hours each night

Wow! 16-18 hours? I've never gotten that much sleep before in my life, not even when I was a baby (I was an active baby). That means most of your day is spent sleeping. :eek:

I usually get 6-7 hours, a modest amount, but I always feel so drained. I wake up feeling like I ran 3 miles around a park and only got like 3 hours of sleep. Do you think it depends on not only when you wake up or how many hours you've gotten, but also what time you go to sleep?

[interstella]

I just ate a shitload of chocolate and I feel sick...

Ok, now for a real secret... I absolutely HATE having my photo taken. I can look at myself in mirrors, but I try to avoid photos at all costs. I don't know why.

[Joey]

Hmm... good point Jim and Lex (I gathered that you two are expressing similar viewpoints on the subject). I just never figured I was more thick-headed and strongwilled than anybody else :P But, point taken nonetheless. And I try to avoid making these unfounded judgments by trying as much stuff as I can at least once... usually within the bounds of legality, but there are some things you can't help sometimes.
And on that note! Here comes my musing/idea/thought/experience of the day... believe you me, taking 9 different shots (we found a bar tending book in my friend's house and wanted to experiment with it) and drinking skunked beer, and smoking a cigar you've never had before is not a good idea for the morning after. I feel like garbage and I've got a kinda long day ahead of me lol
...that and my brother forgot to tell my parents we were staying at our friend's house and I got a call at 8 in the morning :icon_redf

[Anonymous]

For the past few nights, I've been getting only about 3 hours of sleep.

^ Oddly, I've been getting about five hours a night.

Can we swap? I sleep between 16-18 hours each night

Wow! 16-18 hours? I've never gotten that much sleep before in my life, not even when I was a baby (I was an active baby). That means most of your day is spent sleeping. :eek:

I usually get 6-7 hours, a modest amount, but I always feel so drained. I wake up feeling like I ran 3 miles around a park and only got like 3 hours of sleep. Do you think it depends on not only when you wake up or how many hours you've gotten, but also what time you go to sleep?


16-18 hours person...:

:) I go to bed around 10/11 and wake up 12/13 hours later, and sleep for at least 3 hours in the afternoon, still feeling drained and unrefreshed.

I think everything is a factor in how you feel when you wake. Its easier to wake up in the summer because it's warm and light. But in the winter, it is cold and dark in the mornings, which makes us want to sleep more.

[LOVEjames]

I love you love you love you love you love you. :D

[Anonymous]

Not really a secret, but I feel like there is absolutely no point to my life anymore. :icon_sad:

[Lexington]

>>>But then, after I woke up, I felt like I wasted so much time...

Sleep isn't a waste of time. It's repair/rest time for your body, which enables you to do the stuff you do while you're awake a hell of a lot better. :)

>>>Not really a secret, but I feel like there is absolutely no point to my life anymore.

Possibly. Go find one. Or make one. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

I am a disappointment.

I can't think of anything that I do for my parents other than constantly disappoint them.

[Anonymous]

People rub it in that I'm rich.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for money.

[Lexington]

>>>I can't think of anything that I do for my parents other than constantly disappoint them.

It's useless to attempt to impress the unimpressable. Start working on impressing yourself. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

This time tomorrow my partner will know that our relationship is over.

He now knows but we haven't discussed it yet. That will happen in about 90 minutes time.

[Anonymous]

People rub it in that I'm rich.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for money.

I see you for you. (*hug*)
*huggles and glomps*

[Anonymous]

People rub it in that I'm rich.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for money.

I see you for you. (*hug*)
*huggles and glomps*

Thanks. Even though neither of us knows who the other is. (*hug*)

[Paul_UK]

This time tomorrow my partner will know that our relationship is over.

He now knows but we haven't discussed it yet. That will happen in about 90 minutes time.

He knows now. http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14111

[Anonymous]

at this moment in time, rather, the one that just passed, i love(d) everyone.

regardless of everything you are(/were).

[Anonymous]

I hate odd numbers :dry:

[Anonymous]

People rub it in that I'm rich.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for money.

I see you for you. Honest!

Can I have a new car? (jk!)

(sorta... :icon_wink)

[Anonymous]

My heart is broken, i feel so angry, so betrayed.

[Anonymous]

My heart is broken, i feel so angry, so betrayed.

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

My heart is broken, i feel so angry, so betrayed.

(*hug*)

thanks, i could really do with one right now.

[Jebs]

People rub it in that I'm rich.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for money.

I never understood people making a big deal out of it. I say congrats on having moneys! They are just jealous. Too much haterade. So just pay them no mind. :thumbsup:

[vampireboy56]

I desperatley want to have a British accent

[Lexington]

Matthew Modine and Dana Delaney just moved in next door...not much of a secret, I guess, but still kinda neat. :)

Lex

[Anonymous]

I DO love you. so much.

i just cant date you.
i cant date anyone until i sort out what i have going on with myself.

please understand that, respect my decision, and don't make it all about you.
its NOT. literally. it is nothing personal.

[tylerksub]

I didnt think i was angry with my parents but i find myself not caring about stuff i usually would. Tomorrow is Saturday and me and my Mother usually go to clean a Day-care run by a friend of hers. I usually look forward to it but i think i'll turn her down when she tells me to get in the truck.

My Father also snapped his wrist today at work and he wont tell me anything about what happened. Which i guess i understand his not talking to me but what worrys is how much i'm not concerned about his injury. :icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.

:tears:

[Anonymous]

My heart is broken, i feel so angry, so betrayed.

(*hug*)

thanks, i could really do with one right now.

You're welcome :) whatever is bothering you, do speak to somebody about it. We are all here for you (&&&)

[Anonymous]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.
:tears:

You won't regret getting help. Maybe it is not in your control to help yourself right now, so you need a helping hand. there's no shame in that.

[Anonymous]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.

:tears:

All of the staff here want to help in any way they can. Please, PM someone to talk to.

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I'm severely overweight (like...obese), but ppl who look at me just htink i need to lsoe a little weight. i don't get it. i'm 250, and i can tell ppl i'm 180, and they think that sounds about right. i have a lot of muscle...but, it's disconcerting....

[Anonymous]

People rub it in that I'm rich ugly.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for my money [lack of] good looks.

Edited to fit me.

[panda]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.

:tears:

You know the best help is in a hospital. Please go to Emergency or talk to your doctor.
You don't have to feel this way.
You can get past this.
I know you're scared but do something to help yourself. You'll feel better.(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.

:tears:

get help, please, talk to someone you can trust. Have a hug (*hug*)

[Anonymous]

The person I like is hurting and I cant reach out because we arent talking properly.
I just want you to know I am here for you. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

[Latinokid]

When will I find someone ? =(
I just want to be happy.

[Latinokid]

People rub it in that I'm rich.

I can't help it. Please, guys, see me for ME, not for money.

As everyone said *hugS* I'm SURE THEIR are ppl out their who look beyond it. sry for caps


and hugs for Paul ...sry to hear/read what happened

[Anonymous]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.

:tears:

get help, please, talk to someone you can trust. Have a hug (*hug*)

thank you to everyone, it means alot that everyone is there for me. Especially you, you know who you are. I suppose i'm not feeling any better, but i have a doctors appointment on monday, and i'm going to ask to be referred to a councellor or a specialist of some sort. i think i need help to sort myself out this time, and i think i'm finally ready to start letting people help me.

wish me luck.

and thanks again, so much.

xxx(&&&)

[panda]

I'm really happy that you reached out for some help and are following through on it.

That's a first step to peace of mind.(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I love it when i'm on my period because it's so messy and involves bodily fluids.

I'm messed up, I know.

[firecausesburns]

thank you to everyone, it means alot that everyone is there for me. Especially you, you know who you are. I suppose i'm not feeling any better, but i have a doctors appointment on monday, and i'm going to ask to be referred to a councellor or a specialist of some sort. i think i need help to sort myself out this time, and i think i'm finally ready to start letting people help me.

wish me luck.

and thanks again, so much.

xxx(&&&)

(*hug*) Good luck. I'm so glad you're seeking out help.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. People say take the risk and put yourself out there. I totally did.. and totally got burned. I hate rejection and I hate feeling vulnerable. :icon_sad:

[Anonymous]

^ So do I...I barely ever make moves unless someone makes one first.
I'm a total wimp :(
I just can't stand rejection.
I'm a huge flirt, but i always pretend to joke to avoid awkwardness when i really do like someone. :(

[Anonymous]

Ugh. People say take the risk and put yourself out there. I totally did.. and totally got burned. I hate rejection and I hate feeling vulnerable. :icon_sad:

rejection just means that there's another person you don't have to deal with!

[Anonymous]

me encanta la pelicula "the princess and the goblins"

[Level N Human]

I rehearse wedding vows in the shower.

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:nTfFpZ8jiepPWM:http://hotelchandler.com/imge/gallery/shower.jpg

[Anonymous]

thank you to everyone, it means alot that everyone is there for me. Especially you, you know who you are. I suppose i'm not feeling any better, but i have a doctors appointment on monday, and i'm going to ask to be referred to a councellor or a specialist of some sort. i think i need help to sort myself out this time, and i think i'm finally ready to start letting people help me.

wish me luck.

and thanks again, so much.

xxx(&&&)

You won't regret it :)

[Lexington]

>>>I rehearse wedding vows in the shower.

I put on rock concerts in the shower. Maybe I'm rehearsing for your wedding reception. :D

Lex

[davo-man]

>>>I rehearse wedding vows in the shower.

I put on rock concerts in the shower. Maybe I'm rehearsing for your wedding reception. :D

Lex

I sing RENT in the shower...No joke, I'm practising for the time I get up on the stage for myself :D

[Anonymous]

i am in self destruct mode and i don't know how to save myself. i don't know what to do, all i want to do is hurt. i can feel myself slipping backwards, slipping back towards the life of not eating, purging, insomnia and self mutilation, that is all that is going through my head. i want to hurt so badly, and i can't find a release any more, i can't find a way to let things go without slashing myself to ribbons. i don't want to end up back in the EDC, but it's taking over me once more, and the fight that i'm trying to stage against all these feeling seems to be failing. I need help, but i'm scared to get it.

:tears:

get help, please, talk to someone you can trust. Have a hug (*hug*)

thank you to everyone, it means alot that everyone is there for me. Especially you, you know who you are. I suppose i'm not feeling any better, but i have a doctors appointment on monday, and i'm going to ask to be referred to a councellor or a specialist of some sort. i think i need help to sort myself out this time, and i think i'm finally ready to start letting people help me.

wish me luck.

and thanks again, so much.

xxx(&&&)

Good Luck! Glad you feel ready this time. I