bad experiences

[Anonymous]

I hope this is anonymous....

I kinda had some bad experiences when I was about 5, which I'm kind of alright about now, and a pretty rough childhood in some ways. But actually what I worry about is that people will think this is why I'm gay, whereas it's not. It took me a long time to appreciate that I'm gay cos I'm gay rather than because of other psychological/environmental things, and I'm just not ready to have to face everyone and explain this to them too... Although sometimes deep down I do wonder what the hell is going on in my head, cos I just feel so crazy.

[Anonymous]

well, you've already taken the first step, accepting yourself. now it won't be so hard to get others to accept you. maybe if you try and tell them that you were born gay, and none of your experiences have "tuned" you gay.

[24601]

Does everyone know these things happened to you as a child? Do they need to know? It might make things easier just not to tell most people about your childhood experiences and just come out as gay to them without the added information. That way you can avoid any unwanted confusion.

[Anonymous]

I hope this is anonymous....
people will think this is why I'm gay, whereas it's not. It took me a long time to appreciate that I'm gay cos I'm gay rather than because of other psychological/environmental things

I'm having a bit of a dilemma too. I've had a gay experience when I was very young and I remember being attracted to members of the same sex at a very young age as well, but I don't really know which one happened earlier. Though I'm telling myself that the attraction was there first, sometimes I just can't stop thinking if it somehow happened the other way around and I'm gay just because my first sexual experience was at a very young age and happened to be with another boy. I don't know....But at the same time I am pretty confident that people don't just turn gay because of one experience. But still...what if? :confused:

[Anonymous]

i don't have much to add but to say yes ur not the only one wondering if having a 'issue' when you were young. i wonder sometimes if its why but i try to push it out of my head. it only hurts when people bring it up (like therapists). i realized i was attracted to the same sex pretty young but like the experience i put it out of my head and tried to hide it long as a could. seemingly i forgot for many years about the bad experience but it was brought up and i suffered remembering, had some therapy but this deep hate and will for revenge never leaves. i just realized though that right around the time this memory was stirred i began to give up the fight for dissing my gay feelings. i don't know how to deal or what to do.

[Anonymous]

When I was young well about 8 I was hugged for a really long time by a teacher. And the other teacher made every one else get out of the room so that I was feeling really awkward and I couldn't do anything about it

[Alexander]

I hope this is anonymous....

I kinda had some bad experiences when I was about 5, which I'm kind of alright about now, and a pretty rough childhood in some ways. But actually what I worry about is that people will think this is why I'm gay, whereas it's not. It took me a long time to appreciate that I'm gay cos I'm gay rather than because of other psychological/environmental things, and I'm just not ready to have to face everyone and explain this to them too... Although sometimes deep down I do wonder what the hell is going on in my head, cos I just feel so crazy.
'm having a bit of a dilemma too. I've had a gay experience when I was very young and I remember being attracted to members of the same sex at a very young age as well, but I don't really know which one happened earlier. Though I'm telling myself that the attraction was there first, sometimes I just can't stop thinking if it somehow happened the other way around and I'm gay just because my first sexual experience was at a very young age and happened to be with another boy. I don't know....But at the same time I am pretty confident that people don't just turn gay because of one experience. But still...what if?
i don't have much to add but to say yes ur not the only one wondering if having a 'issue' when you were young. i wonder sometimes if its why but i try to push it out of my head. it only hurts when people bring it up (like therapists). i realized i was attracted to the same sex pretty young but like the experience i put it out of my head and tried to hide it long as a could. seemingly i forgot for many years about the bad experience but it was brought up and i suffered remembering, had some therapy but this deep hate and will for revenge never leaves. i just realized though that right around the time this memory was stirred i began to give up the fight for dissing my gay feelings. i don't know how to deal or what to do.
Sorry to hear this. I can also relate to this type of thing, so I know how hard you all must be having it right now. It sounds like you guys need a friend to pour yourself out to - someone you know really well and trust. Get some people on your side that know who you are and you can explain yourself to. After my experience, I went into major depression over my situation and my life. I only got out of that because of friends. Anyway, don't get too shot up about yourselves. Things will work out in time.

(&&&)

[Anonymous]

I'm having a bit of a dilemma too. I've had a gay experience when I was very young and I remember being attracted to members of the same sex at a very young age as well, but I don't really know which one happened earlier. Though I'm telling myself that the attraction was there first, sometimes I just can't stop thinking if it somehow happened the other way around and I'm gay just because my first sexual experience was at a very young age and happened to be with another boy. I don't know....But at the same time I am pretty confident that people don't just turn gay because of one experience. But still...what if? :confused:Well... uhm... if your first experience wasn't traumatic (like if it wasn't forced but just happened) then... so what?

I mean, some people will swear to you until they're blue in the face that experiences don't make you gay but truthfully, no one really knows for sure. It does seem that major experiences when we're very young do seem to stick with us... whether that determines sexuality for people, or ALWAYS determins sexuality for people, is an unknown. I don't think they probably do.

Now if your first experience was non-consensual, then I can see how you'd be worried. But it seems to me more likely that a bad experience with someone of the same sex when you were younger would tend to make you NOT GAY because you'd associate it with bad stuff. Maybe that's oversimplifying things.

But it seems to me that being gay is not a bad thing, so if one feels gay and is attracted to people of the same sex, why not work on accepting that rather than trying to figure out why? I mean, and again oversimplifying, I don't try to figure out why I love certain foods, or certain personality types. So yeah, being gay is different and a lot of people find it really strange, but that doesn't meanit has to be put under a microscope and studied to death. In fact, that kind of detracts, to my mind, from actually dealing with it. Usually answers just beget more questions.