guilt

[Anonymous]

hi i was wondering if any other bisexuals feel guilty for coming here

cus no matter what you cant help but be attracted to some people of the oposite sex

i was just wondering if anybody else has felt this way

[Anonymous]

one of my friends that i'm not out to is alyways talking about how greedy bisexuals are...its really annoying. i'm like f you bitch. seriously? its not like i choose to be attracted to both sexes...

however, i saw it on here somehwere and i agree. every bisexual has a certain percentage of each sex that they're attracted to. for example, and im a guy, mine is probably about

30% women
70% men

[Level N Human]

Why feel guilty?

It's just the capacity to be able to appreaciate and become attracted to both sexes. Just like if you were a monosexual you'd be attracted to some people and some other people as well. I don't like MORE people because I'm bisexua is what I'm saying, 'cause if someone were gay/straight they may like more same-sex/other-sex than me. And if I did like more people, why is that anyhting to feel guilty about? More love out there. ^^

No gender-oriented attraction is wrong or right. It's what's right for you.

[Anonymous]

I feel really guilty too. And I also feel bad because sometimes I wish I were totally gay, even though I don't know whether that would be easier or not - probably not. (Totally straight would definately be easier though!)

[Anonymous]

30% women
70% men

my percentages are like this too.

[CrimsonThunder]

how greedy bisexuals are...

Its not greedy at all, that person just heard it and thought "hey, I sound like I know what I'm talking about when I say that so I'll just say it" and have no idea what they're talking about.

I'm bi and proud. =]

[Anonymous]

I feel really guilty too. And I also feel bad because sometimes I wish I were totally gay, even though I don't know whether that would be easier or not - probably not. (Totally straight would definately be easier though!)

(first poster) i wish i were gay too cus at least then id belong somewhere

even if this is a glbt forum its hard to feel welcome being bi

[davo-man]

I don't think it's greedy, it's just who you are. I reckon people should be allowed to love whoever they love (if that makes sense) and cos of this, I find no problem with bisexuals...or any other sexualities.

I'm sorry that you don't feel so welcome here, but I hope all of you the bisexuals understand that I personally never saw any difference on here between gay/bi/straight (apart from in discussions of sexualities, where the sexuality is actually the topic, if you get what I mean)

[Anonymous]

I'm with Dave - I don't have any problem with bisexuals posting in here. I think we're all on a 'sexuality scale' - nobody is 100% straight or 100% gay. Heck - I think of myself as gay, but I was married for 10 years and fathered two children - so there's got to be some hetrosexuality in me!

[Jim1454]

Hmmm - thought I had unchecked the anonymous box... ^

Ah - I did. But then I previewed it, and it gets checked automatically again!

[Paul_UK]

I'm with Dave - I don't have any problem with bisexuals posting in here. I think we're all on a 'sexuality scale' - nobody is 100% straight or 100% gay.

I agree. There are no sexuality barriers here. I am pleased to see the site gaining more lesbian and bisexual members, and not just attracting gay guys.

Please do not feel guilty posting as bi, or as anything. There may be a few people who do not quite understand your situation, but people here are willing to learn, understand and accept.

[Anonymous]

Becky said a few weeks ago in one of her posts something along the lines of being bisexual is a gift, because you have the power to be attracted to both sexes. I like looking at it that way.

[Anonymous]

Being bisexual has nothing to do with "greed". Its simply who you are. Some people think that bisexual means you are having relations with several people (male and female) at the same time and that is simply not true! You just need to educate people on how you really feel.

[Anonymous]

The bisexual people I know have one relationship at a time, just like gay and straight people.

One male bisexual friend has been in a steady relationship with a gay guy for over 10 years. They are a devoted and loyal couple, and their relationship is no different to any same-sex relationship.

Being bisexual does NOT mean having more than one partner at a time, nor does it mean needing or wanting both a male and female partner to feel complete.

It could be thought that a bisexual person would have a wider choice of possible future partners. However some gay and straight people are reluctant to get into a relationship with a bisexual person, possibly because they think the person will have or want a partner of the other gender at the same time.

I think bisexual people are misunderstood more than gay or lesbian people, sadly.

[Anonymous]

i would never date a bisexual because id be afraid theyd leave me for a (member of the opposite sex)

something ive heard from a few members here

[CrimsonThunder]

i would never date a bisexual because id be afraid theyd leave me for a (member of the opposite sex)

something ive heard from a few members here

Its one of the most stupidest sayings ever. The person could also leave you for a person of the same sex. :rolleyes:

[Anonymous]

i would never date a bisexual because id be afraid theyd leave me for a (member of the opposite sex)

something ive heard from a few members here

Its one of the most stupidest sayings ever. The person could also leave you for a person of the same sex. :rolleyes:

exactly! double the compitition!

[Paul_UK]

Please remember that some of our members are bisexual, and try to avoid posting things that may cause offence. I realise it can be difficult, depending on your views, but please try. Consider how you would feel if the remarks you are making were targeted towards people of your sexuality.

I have deleted three posts here, one as requested by the poster (confirmed by IP address) and two quoting and responding to it.

[Anonymous]

i would never date a bisexual because id be afraid theyd leave me for a (member of the opposite sex)

If you take note of the comments made by bisexual people in this thread and elsewhere on EC you will see that this is not the case.

As gays and lesbians we are upset and offended when straights make incorrect assumptions about what we do and about how loyal or otherwise our relationships are etc. Comments like that quoted above are exactly the same sort of uninformed and inaccurate assumptions about bisexuals, and are being made by gays and lesbians.

[Anonymous]

it just doesn't make any sense to me. . i think that this 'bisexuality' exsists i just think that many more people use the title than actually exsists. your just covering up your confusion and unsureness by calling yourself 'bi'.and for most people in the beginning of their coming out that is exacly what it is. so many bisexuals are inaccuratly represented. most i think are really gay and confused. the few that are Bi get all the shit. but thats what happens when so many people use it as a cover.

[Anonymous]

Interesting posts! I'm Bi and certainly NOT confused or using it as a cover. I'm one of the older members here and and have been married for over 25 years and have two wonderful daughters.

I say I'm bi because although I'm still with my wife I find that I "prefer" relationships (and sex) with guys. Always have done and would say I'm 70/30 towards guys. It's only been in the past 8 to 10 years where I've started to wonder what life would have been like if I hadn't married and had got together with a guy. It's the 30% that keeps me with my wife and I don't feel it's a problem for me - nobody else knows. I get male "action" now and then and am happy with the situation I find myself in. It would be devastating for the family if I suddenly decided to leave home because I wanted to shack up with a guy. I don't think it's something I want either.

As for EC, I've made quite a few friends here and chat often with them. I've never encountered any hostility or doubt directed towards me. I've also found that I'm fully understood and that they don't have any problems being the way I am.

I appreciate there will always be some 100% gays who will never understand the concept and I don't intend to "convert" them - just sometimes people need to either know all the facts before presenting a balanced argument or not try to comment on something they're not sure about.

(*hug*)

[Anonymous]

I don't feel guilty. And I hate it when people think I'm on the fence. I'm not. I'm attracted to both men and women. THEY'RE BOTH SEXY! So I don't feel guilty and I don't think anyone else who is bi should feel guilty either.

[Anonymous]

Bisexual people just find both sexes attractive! That doesn't make them more likely to cheat. It means that when they want a relationship with someone it could be either a man or a woman. They are not confused and don't just "want both to be greedy". Luckily there are people out there who are comfortable with liking both sexes and people who accept others for that. It's people who say they are confused or greedy who keep making them feel confused and greedy.

Some people like women.

Some people like men.

Some people like both women and men.

They're not confused, they know they like both and people saying they're confused only makes them confused.

[Anonymous]

Yes, for me bisexality is NOT a transition stage etc... sometimes it is a guy I like and sometimes it is a girl. Every now and then I'll go through a stage where I always seem to like members of the same sex or members of the opposite sex and i'll think "oh, maybe I'm actually just gay/straight. But it's happened to me enough times now for me to KNOW i'm bisexual! I'm not "confused", I just find members of both sexes sexually attractive!