Growing Up

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else afraid to grow up? Like i am seriously scared to get older. I almost cry about it. I just remember all the good times with my cousins and brother and friends. I remember all the carelessness and good times. I don't want to grow out of it. I don't want to have responsability. Its not that im not excited to drive and live on my own and go to college, its that im goiing to miss all the things i got when i was younger and growing away from the people i love the most.
Like seriously i love my cousins so much. But, now im 16, my brother is 18, my cousin is 18, and my other one is 22. I am going to be like the only one here when they are all gone at college and careers next year. All i will have is my baby cousin and my old family. I am proud of all my cousins and brother but at the same time i don't want to be the last one to go and be on my own. They have always provided support and advice and i dont want to give that up. :dry: :confused:

[Kimi]

I always hated being a kid. Like everytime I try to join my uncle and dad's conversation they were like "This is a grown up subject, so you won't understand" I probably wouldn't understand what they are saying but I wanted to sit there and hear what they were saying. So when I was kid, I always wanted to be treated like an adult.

Though now I'm 18 yo. I feel like I wanna be 15 yo again and never grow up.
I'm not saying I don't want to grow up anymore but I sometimes wish that I don't have to take any responsibility, or go to college, or live by my own.
I know that whether I like it or not I have to, but I do wish bit.

Maybe it's time to look after your baby cousin and provided support and advice for him/her. And your bro and cousin will be the same, just because they are leaving, it doesn't mean that they won't support you.
And since you are 16 yo, I think you won't need them as much as you needed when you are kid. So don't worry.

Everyone have to go through it soon or later:)

[CrimsonThunder]

No, I have never hated growing up. Threres always new experiences plus being able to go to the pub and getting my own alcohol has been epic.

[Anonymous]

i hated growing up becaude i feel like i missed out on those careless times and everything you just mentioned, but if you can look back and appreciate them then look forward knowing that you will have just as many good times ahead

[Bromptonrocks]

I'm one of the "grown-ups" here!

I don't recall being worried about growing up. Sure I do miss some of the things you could do as a kid - my answer to that is to still do some of the things I used to do. Having teenaged nephews helps, though. I may get criticised for acting like a kid but - hey, who cares. I'm happy at the end of the day and my nephews love it.

What I'm saying is that growing up need not be as fearful as you imagine. The people you love will always be there if not physically. I think growing apart happens because we let it happen, eg not enough time to keep in touch etc. Growing apart is not inevitable. So my advice is to carry on as you've always done. Sure, with growing up comes responsibility but it doesn't just land at your feet. You gradually grow into it. Enjoy growing up and hold onto your childhood memories. They're like seeds that you're planting that one day will grow into who you are and where you've come from.

Don't worry. :icon_wink

[JayHew]

As others have said here, it is not always a burden and it should not be looked upon with fear. Change is always a difficult thing to deal with but it is not always something bad. Having the carefree days of yesterday would always be nice, but well, it just doesn't happen that way and responsibility and duty will eventually come our way, denying it or refusing to acknowledge it does not make it go away or make it any different. Unless we learn to apply what we can of ourselves to living it, it will be pushed upon us without our input, thus making it all the more difficult.

When I was growing up you could say it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As 8, 9, 10 year olds and older fell under the clouds of doubt and worry concerning atomic war, we were taught to duck and hide under our desks in class should an atomic blast go off near by. We watched as the Sputnik flew around the world, and I remember being at my Aunt's house in the countryside and was able to see if fly over one night.

We watched as our own space program ramped up and began to have success, election of a new president and young wife and our parents having a bit of hope, there was a sense in the air of hope and positive resolve. Then the coming of the Cuban Missile Crisis, later the assassination of the president, later the assassination of Martin Luther King, later the assassination of Bobby Kennedy, riots in the streets, on college campuses, students shot on campus from National Guard troops, the Viet Nam war........All in my generation. Yes I ended up in southeast Asia serving. Overall at the end of the 60s or nearly so, there was a general sense of loss of hope.

So for my generation it was a very turbulent time, yet at the same time it was very open and we had a good time. We had great music and good parties and most of us took our responsibilities seriously enough that we became who we are today. But it was a process of one step at a time and recognizing fear, but not being held back because of it. Yes we had fears, many and worries, but if we were to do anything, we had to overcome them and for the most part did. As each of you will in time.

Just be patient with yourself and try to have courage. Courage is not the absence of fear but is operating and doing what is right in the face of that fear. It is not all doom and gloom and along the way you will establish your own sets of traditions that you will cherish over the years. Yes, over the years, you will lose the innocence you had as a child and it would happen anyway even if you chose to do nothing. But you do not have to worry about being overcome by it if you will but face the coming changes and add to it how you want to have it done.

Since the time I reached that point in my own life where "I could never go home again", overall it has been a most exciting and wonderful adventure with many, many times of joy, cherished moments and people. Yes you can look back and love the innocence we all once had, but do not begrudge the coming moments where you will stand at the helm of your own life and make things happen too. Life is very much worth the living of it.

It really isn't as bad as you might fear.

[Anonymous]

Jayhew,

I couldn't put it better myself...bit I did try!!

Excellent advice. :thumbsup:

[Bromptonrocks]

Jayhew,

I couldn't put it better myself...bit I did try!!

Excellent advice. :thumbsup:


Oops. Forgot ^ to remove Anonymous...

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

i'm extremely terried. it makes me worry and upset so i try to live my teen years out day by day.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go back to my childhood or youth for all the money in the world. Not that I had a bad childhood its just that as long as you live at home you are the product of your parents, you are not yourself. As an adult you become the person you are destined to be.

Yes there are responsabilites and difficulties to be overcome but these are what forge your character. Embrace life, embrace what it has in store for you, open your arms wide the whole rest of your life is waiting for you.

You may loose some of the innocent, fun moments of insouciance that you had but others, maybe better, will take their place. Adulthood is nothing to be scared of just go at your own pace and things will fall into place naturally.

[Louise]

Ooops that last post was me, I forgot to take of the anonymous bit. :eusa_doh:

[Anonymous]

Great post JayHew! I wouldn't go back either. There are things that I loved and miss about being a teenager but life gets so much better. You have so many good things in life to look forward to.

[Louise]

My teenage years were filled with worry and anxiety, not fitting in, not being popular, not having friends, what did the future hold, what did I want to do with my life... The list was never ending. You coudn't drag me back to those horrible dark years!

Morgan I promise you it does get better, just move forwards one step at a time and DON'T worry. Worrying changes nothing and spoils your life. What will happen will happen weather you worry or not and in the mean time instead of being happy and living your life as best you can and having fun you have been making yourself sick with worry.

Here this is for you Morgan :kiss:

[Paul_UK]

The only time I feared growing up was in my last year of school. I knew a good thing was coming to an end and really didn't want it to.

I am more interested to see what's coming next in my life really. I have always tended to look forward. You can't change the past (so no point in worrying about that) but can affect your future by what you do now.

[Paul_UK]

I wouldn't go back to my childhood or youth for all the money in the world. Not that I had a bad childhood its just that as long as you live at home you are the product of your parents, you are not yourself. As an adult you become the person you are destined to be.
Exactly. Moving away from home, well away from home where I couldn't just pop back with a bag of dirty laundry etc, was the best thing I did. I left it quite late (25) for various reasons, but it was the time when I found myself in several ways (one of which was coming out). I was responsible for myself and had to take care of myself because there was nobody else to do it for me. There was also no parental expectations of how I should live my life.

[InaRut]

I'm getting more and more nervous about university every day. Living on my own, doing things on my own, being a big city (finding a boyfriend?), it's all really nerve racking. I would tottaly live out my highschool years again.

Only this time more outness and partying :D

Right now I can't stop worrying If I even put the right address on the the letters I sent out to the unviersities (just my trasncript)

Ohh this is could be disaterous!

[Anonymous]

Oh yes I forgot about school. I didn't want to leave school because I enjoyed it so much, but now that I'm out I'm enjoying not having to go to school and don't want to go to uni or something. XD

[CrimsonThunder]

^me

[Anonymous]

these are some good replies. thanks guys

[Nicknikko]

Yes, I'm also afraid of getting old but i can't do anything about it... i'm very narcissistic so it's like a huge deal to me too...><

[Anonymous]

ORIGINAL POSTER
yeah this stuff is just scary.
i am just gonna take my courage try new things, live my life, and tru to be someone

[Anonymous]

Me too! I feel exactly the same. It's tough. I mean, this is my last year in high school and everything. Thinking about going off to college is really scary. Then having to deal with taxes, insurance, bills ext... I'm getting the chills just thinking about. :tears:

[Midnight Angel]

I don't remember not being grown up. I was grown up mentally and in practice by age 10. I handled well many responsibilities people don't handle until their 20's at least. I also have a sense of independence most my age do not have. I do almost everything for myself and have been for quite a few years. It's not a bad thing at all. I think I'm better for my early maturation.

[Anonymous]

im 20, i feel like im stuck in the middle. im in a shit house job, not studying, im in the closet and i feel like i should have done so much better by now... and i dont see anything getting better anyday soon. i have no clue what i want to do when im older (when im 'grown up') so i try not to imagine myself when im, say in my 40s. i dont think id like what id see.