What's it like to be gender-ambiguous?

[Gamer am I]

I'm posting here so that people who wish to respond anonymously can do so. Anyways, to the people who fall under this catagory, what's it like to be genderqueer, gender-ambiguous, transgender, etc?

[Anonymous]

well, im not, but im sure it really sucks. i cant even imagine that kind of pain.

[Hollywood]

god damn i always forget to uncheck that box. that was me in the post above btw

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

its like going through the clothes store, seeing a guys section and a girls section and not knowing which one you should shop in. feeling torn to both. or seeing two bathrooms not feeling completely comfortable in either. to feel expected to act either girly or manly. feeling angered when someone calls you a guy when your biologically a girl yet mad when they call you a girl because you really are too mascualine to be a girl. never knowing what you are or how you should feel or act or just try to act yourself yet being riduculed for it. my sis and my mom a little have been pretty critical of my choice not to shave my legs. it makes me feel happy yet hurts to hear cruel things about it. i started shaving my arm pits again. simply too noticeable and not as socially accepted. its a read drag. lol. (get it? ok yeah...) i get mostly the same s*** for being goth but this is more personal. at least goth is more of a choice. you don't have a choice of your favorite foods but you have the choice to eat them. i like being goth. i don't HAVE to but i want to . with the gender confusion i have no choice on how i feel but i have to choose how i act and its either going to be one way or the other ot a mix. its hard.

[Midget]

I've never actually identified as a genderqueer or anything, but I grew up being treated like a boy. I only wear men's clothing, I stand when a woman enters a room, I speak of girls in the third person and boys in the first. People just assume I'm transgender, but it's probably because my father raised me to be the perfect gentleman... so much that it just changed me. xxAngelOnFirexx has it right.

It's not being sure which team to be on - boys or girls. It's getting dressed in the locker room and not looking at other girls because you're a lesbian, but because you've never stopped to realize that your body is just like theirs. It's having to correct your pronouns whenever you slip and don't want to let it be known. It's feeling awkward during gender-specific sex ed classes. It's not knowing the proper etiquette for your gender and being called out on it. For me, it's being followed and constantly being called a "dyke in drag" when you feel as though you're doing nothing different from your usual life.

[Zec24]

I feel almost the same way Angel and Midget do. I know I get frustrated sometimes when I get confused about gender. Sometimes it's like I see myself as being outside of a gender.

Some people have told me I have masculine mannerisms, but I don't think they are that noticable. I know that when I think of myself in a relationship I always have a male role. I hold doors for women, am very protective of my female friends, dress kind of neutrally.

I hate it when my friends say, "should we bring some boys with us so we can feel safe if we go to this place/bar?" I always feel slighted because I feel like I can protect them well enough and they should feel safe enough with me around.

When I was a kid I used to dress like a boy, always be on the boys side when we played games at recess, had my haircut short, always played the father or brother when I played house, and I think I even thought I'd grow up to be a boy.

When I am around girls I want them to treat me as if I am a male. Although I think I'm starting to get a little more comfortable with the idea that I'm a girl, but that probably has something to do with the fact that I go to a college with a 90% male population and I've been made to feel like/realize I am girl because of this.

I don't know, I'm still confused with my gender sometimes, but not to the point that I'd actually undergo any surgery to become a guy. Maybe in my mind I feel like it would be easier to express what I feel if I were a guy, hell life would be easier then b/c society would accept me.

[Anonymous]

It's a much harder life being transgendered. I completely sympathise to the great struggle they go through just to discover who they are, and to reflect on their outside what they are inside!

[Steam Giant]

It's really not easy at all. Nobody understands what it's like...hell, I have trouble understanding it! It's a lot of what Morgan said above, for me. In my case, it's mostly not being able to dress or act the way I feel, because I want to be spared the ridicule. Not being able to be yourself is sooo excruciatingly painful...and for me, I've come to resent the body I was born into, which results in a LOT of self-hatred.

In short, it's not fun! -.-