I need some honesty

[Proud1p4]

I decided to post this here, instead of in the Chit-Chat section because i wanted people to be able to be completely honest.

What do you think of me as a person?
I've been attacked quite a lot lately in real life that people are saying i'm really really mean and cold-hearted. That i'm stuck up and think that i'm better than everyone. Also that i'm one of those stereotypical self-serving homos (please excuse me for saying that, they're not my words).

Do I come across as that here?
I realize that how i come off through a screen and in person are two completely different things, but at least i can have some idea.

Please, be completely honest and use the anonymous feature if you wish.

[Paul_UK]

You are confident and have strong opinions (about homosexuality and other things) which you express freely. Add to that the fact that you are gay and are "only" 15, and a lot of straight adults just do not know what to make of it. They see you as not a typical 15 year old and know you are gay, so put the two together and assume one is due to the other. That's probably where the "self serving homo" idea comes from.

Because of your confidence and outness you sometimes come across as being a few years older than you really are. I sometimes have to look at your age under your avatar to remind myself that you really are just 15. That, by the way, is a compliment. Again though it is probably something that other people, especially straight friends around your own age who have not had to go through any of the coming-out stuff, can't quite get their heads around.

I haven't seen anything in your postings here to support the "mean and cold-hearted" accusation so I can't comment on that. You don't get so involved in the threads in the Support and Advice section as some people, but that's probably because they just don't interest you and not because you don't want to help.

If they are people around your age then maybe, judging from your photos, they are jealous of your good looks so are trying to find other ways to trash you? I saw another thread here only yesterday (started by LatinoKid I think) about the way people around his age (14) are so nasty about each other behind their backs. It seems to be a common thing around that age, with people hiding their own insecurities by trashing others.

It'll be interesting to see what other members, nearer your own age, say.

Are the people you mention around your own age or older?

[Anonymous]

I can agree what they don't like is that youre too handsome or gifted in some other ways, so the fact youre gay is just an excuse for insulting you and thinking of new and nonsensical accusations against you.
I recently got some messages from my "friends", like "why do you hate me?", "many people think youre double-dealing", "ive heard some of your opinions about me" etc. I have no idea why all those close-minded freaks are straight >_>. I'd advise you not to care about them, and if you are confident about who you are and what you feel, then all you can do is feel sorry for them and live your life.

:thumbsup:

[ethene]

^me

[BlasttheCloset]

I would never see that type of thing in you at all. I know that I have not been on this forum for very long, but you are one of the people who is most vocal in some areas, and I disagree completely. You seem intelligent, creative, and like a kind and considerate person. I have no idea where anyone would get the idea that you were anything else. You do have some strong opinions, but you voice and defend them rationally and completely without trashing other people or their ideas. That is what I think, based on everything I've read in your postings. (*hug*)

[Nodnarb]

I'm going to agree with Blastie. I've never seen any post by you that would make me think you are "cold-hearted" or mean. In my time here at EC, I've always thought you were a pretty nice guy.

[beckyg]

I think these people may just be jealous of you! You have always came across as very intelligent for a 15 year old. Your posts are never mean spirited. I don't get why these people would say that about you. My suggestion would be to ignore them.

[RadioMatt]

I think these people may just be jealous of you!

I agree, from reading many of your posts over the past year or so it is clear you are very confident, and are able to express your opinions openly, something many people are scared of doing for whatever reason. You are obviously very bright for someone your age. You certainly never come across as stuck up or self-serving, and have offered much help and useful advice to this forum. As for cold hearted, you always seem friendly toward other forum members. Your awesome good looks and the fact that you are comfortable with your sexuality, would also suggest jealousness. Many young teens have lots of pressures whether it be school grades or being socially excepted, which can cause them to hide their true feelings, and attack those doing better in life than them. It is a lot easier to bash someone than to stand up for them, and it's even easier for others to gang up on a single person. Perhaps they just can't handle the truth? Thats just my thoughts remembering what it was like at school.
Don't ever be afraid to be yourself, or you risk forgetting who you really are.

BTW, Have they said why they are saying this?

Best wishes for 2008
(*hug*)

[panda]

I agree with all the positives from Paul,Becky,and all.
The only possible reason that I could imagine that you might be thought of as "A stereotypical self-serving homo." Is that you are very self assured and confident.This could possibly be too much for others to handle.
I've never seen any evidence of your being a "S.S.-S.H.
You strike me as being an incredibly intelligent person,who I find it amazing is only 15.

[CrimsonThunder]

I haven't noticed anything like that, I didn't even know you're confident (which i guess can be interpritated as stuck up)

[Anonymous]

thanks for the numerous responses guys and girls :).
it makes me feel a bit better that no one finds any reason to put stock in these claims.
btw, some of these msgs were left in an "honesty box" on facebook (for whom it may concern). all were left by males. my guess is: i've turned down 3 guys in the past few months, and i wont lie.. i gossiped a little to my best friends about it. i didnt say anything mean, but maybe these boys got word i told "everyone" and are getting back at me?

oh well, i wont dwell on it anymore. i got my friends.
many thanks and good cheer in the new year! :icon_wink

[Proud1p4]

...I....suck....at...life..

Thats me above! Yet again :eusa_doh:

[justjoshoh]

Well, I never recall reading any of your posts and thinking, "Proud1p4... you knucklehead", so I guess that I don't see the same Proud1 that those people see. BeckyG has a compelling argument that perhaps it is not a reflection of your attitude, rather those whom are speaking poorly of you.

[joeyconnick]

I generally try not to join the "oh my gosh I love you" bandwagons because sometimes people do that for people where I'm like, "Oh my gods, I HATE that person... how can you think they're great?"

But I'll make an exception for you. :)

You remind me of all the things I liked about myself when I was 22/23... except you're 15. So that's actually a big compliment. Although you're probably more modest than me. That's not usually very hard. :lol:

That being said, and this is what I would tell myself if I could travel back in time, don't forget that even though a bunch of people are telling you how mature you are for your age, you are actually your age. By this I mean... well I think I definitely thought that I was somehow immune to a lot of the pitfalls of "growing up" because I always got told how cool I was by adults. There is no substitute for experience, even for the extra-mature. Plus if you keep that in mind, you're less likely to beat yourself up when you invariably do end up doing something stupid. Which you will, trust me. It's the human condition.

But as for getting flack, if it's not for the romantic things, which can be... problematic at any age--well, anyone with opinions as strong and committed as yours will get a lot of shit from the world. About this I know loads. Especially if you're left-wing, because sadly most of the rest of the "developed" world is not in a very left-wing phase.

For the romantic things, resist the urge to gossip unless you have people to tell who are just never going to repeat what you've said. I know it can be kinda fun to be the centre of your own drama and to actually... command attention, I guess, but I think ultimately stuff like that ends up being negative because it can result in a kind of vicious circle where you get short-term positive response for being a not-so-terribly nice person.

Oh... and do NOT flirt unless you truly mean it. Otherwise I will come kick your ass because I HATE cute people who do that! Got it? :lol:

[joeyconnick]

...I....suck....at...life..

Thats me above! Yet again :eusa_doh:That might be because if you untick the anonymous thing but then preview your message, it re-ticks the anonymous thing, which is a bit frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'm being honest here. (actually, I can't be anything but to anyone unless I know the truth will cause pain like knowing someone isn't going to survive and having to tell a loved one that that person will so they can actually sleep that night)

Anyway, even though I have only been here a short time. From the few posts I've read I get the feeling you are a lot like me. I myself am opinionated and proud. I have also been described as a not so typical 23 year old.

But like Paul said, I think for some seeing that in a 15 year old surprises them to the point of feeling perturbed maybe because some people tend to think that 15 year olds don't know anything. Or need protection from things in life, like sexuality. So seeing someone who knows who they are, and what is happening around them. It is to them a shock. So not knowing what to do with those feelings they take it out on you. Either that or some of them are just jealous that you have reached a point in life already that they wish they could reach.

In other words. Even though I have only read a few of your posts, having been here only a short time. I think you rule.

I also don't think you come of as a person who is "i'm really really mean and cold-hearted. That i'm stuck up and think that i'm better than everyone. Also that i'm one of those stereotypical self-serving homos"

[Katness]

Uhhh I just realized I forgot to untick the anonymous box. Anyway the anonymous post was me.

[Anonymous]

...I....suck....at...life..

Thats me above! Yet again :eusa_doh:That might be because if you untick the anonymous thing but then preview your message, it re-ticks the anonymous thing, which is a bit frustrating.

Aha, :icon_redf thats why. I always preview my posts. I'm a Virgo, i can't help it. :icon_wink
Ok, I'm being honest here. (actually, I can't be anything but to anyone unless I know the truth will cause pain like knowing someone isn't going to survive and having to tell a loved one that that person will so they can actually sleep that night)

Anyway, even though I have only been here a short time. From the few posts I've read I get the feeling you are a lot like me. I myself am opinionated and proud. I have also been described as a not so typical 23 year old.

But like Paul said, I think for some seeing that in a 15 year old surprises them to the point of feeling perturbed maybe because some people tend to think that 15 year olds don't know anything. Or need protection from things in life, like sexuality. So seeing someone who knows who they are, and what is happening around them. It is to them a shock. So not knowing what to do with those feelings they take it out on you. Either that or some of them are just jealous that you have reached a point in life already that they wish they could reach.

In other words. Even though I have only read a few of your posts, having been here only a short time. I think you rule.

I also don't think you come of as a person who is "i'm really really mean and cold-hearted. That i'm stuck up and think that i'm better than everyone. Also that i'm one of those stereotypical self-serving homos"

Thank you. That really meant a lot. (*hug*)
I guess it makes sense, but at the same time i wish people would stop looking at my age as any kind of credible reference. It seems like that stupid number gets in the way of almost everything. I mean i've seen 17, 23 and 59 year olds act completely immature. Why should age matter?

[Proud1p4]

^^^

:eusa_doh:
Guess who?

[joeyconnick]

^^^

:eusa_doh:
Guess who?Well who else? :p

[Anonymous]

I guess it makes sense, but at the same time i wish people would stop looking at my age as any kind of credible reference. It seems like that stupid number gets in the way of almost everything. I mean i've seen 17, 23 and 59 year olds act completely immature. Why should age matter?I used to ask myself the same question. I stopped because no one ever had a good answer, other than people were stupid, and frankly there's enough depressing reminders of that.

[joeyconnick]

I guess it makes sense, but at the same time i wish people would stop looking at my age as any kind of credible reference. It seems like that stupid number gets in the way of almost everything. I mean i've seen 17, 23 and 59 year olds act completely immature. Why should age matter?I used to ask myself the same question. I stopped because no one ever had a good answer, other than people were stupid, and frankly there's enough depressing reminders of that.

(Damn re-anonymising preview!)

[Proud1p4]

(Damn re-anonymising preview!)

Welcome to my world. :eusa_doh:

[Katness]

[quote]
Thank you. That really meant a lot. (*hug*)
I guess it makes sense, but at the same time i wish people would stop looking at my age as any kind of credible reference. It seems like that stupid number gets in the way of almost everything. I mean i've seen 17, 23 and 59 year olds act completely immature. Why should age matter?

My pleasure.

I know what you mean about age. I mean, I have a crush on a certain 58 year old. And some would look on that age gap with a disturbed look and could accuse me of being a gold digger. Which is far from the truth. Or that she would be using me. However. As she is an actress in America. I have no chance in hell. Unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean about age. I mean, I have a crush on a certain 58 year old. And some would look on that age gap with a disturbed look and could accuse me of being a gold digger. Which is far from the truth. Or that she would be using me. However. As she is an actress in America. I have no chance in hell. Unfortunately.Sigourney Weaver? That's all I could come up with...

She so needs to do another Alien movie. I LOVED Alien: Resurrection. Just rented it the other day.

[Proud1p4]

I know what you mean about age. I mean, I have a crush on a certain 58 year old. And some would look on that age gap with a disturbed look and could accuse me of being a gold digger. Which is far from the truth. Or that she would be using me. However. As she is an actress in America. I have no chance in hell. Unfortunately.

Who says it has anything to do with money. I admit it's uncommon to form bonds over such an age gap because interests/hobbies may be different etc. but i see no reason why age in itself should block a relationship. Its a touchy subject because we're just coming out of the sexual revolution so people are still getting used to the fact that sex is now, just sex. :icon_wink I realize you're talking about a relationship but they go hand in hand most of the time.

And i'll admit, even I would give you a disturbed look if you said it was a celebrity. :lol:

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean about age. I mean, I have a crush on a certain 58 year old. And some would look on that age gap with a disturbed look and could accuse me of being a gold digger. Which is far from the truth. Or that she would be using me. However. As she is an actress in America. I have no chance in hell. Unfortunately.Sigourney Weaver? That's all I could come up with...

She so needs to do another Alien movie. I LOVED Alien: Resurrection. Just rented it the other day.

BINGO!. And I agree. I really love the first two. and like Alien Ressurrection. I don't mind 3 but I'll never forgive them for what they did to Hicks and Newt.

[Katness]

I know what you mean about age. I mean, I have a crush on a certain 58 year old. And some would look on that age gap with a disturbed look and could accuse me of being a gold digger. Which is far from the truth. Or that she would be using me. However. As she is an actress in America. I have no chance in hell. Unfortunately.Sigourney Weaver? That's all I could come up with...

She so needs to do another Alien movie. I LOVED Alien: Resurrection. Just rented it the other day.

BINGO!. And I agree. I really love the first two. and like Alien Ressurrection. I don't mind 3 but I'll never forgive them for what they did to Hicks and Newt.

Ok, I'll remember the anonymous thing, promise.

[Katness]

I know what you mean about age. I mean, I have a crush on a certain 58 year old. And some would look on that age gap with a disturbed look and could accuse me of being a gold digger. Which is far from the truth. Or that she would be using me. However. As she is an actress in America. I have no chance in hell. Unfortunately.

Who says it has anything to do with money. I admit it's uncommon to form bonds over such an age gap because interests/hobbies may be different etc. but i see no reason why age in itself should block a relationship. Its a touchy subject because we're just coming out of the sexual revolution so people are still getting used to the fact that sex is now, just sex. :icon_wink I realize you're talking about a relationship but they go hand in hand most of the time.

And i'll admit, even I would give you a disturbed look if you said it was a celebrity. :lol:

Heh heh. Well, I agree. But I happen to actually know some people, who I don't count as friends, who would accuse me of being a gold digger if I started dating a 58 year old. But well, hell. If we are in love, and it works, then it doesn't matter.

Of course, it would mean that my partner would die of old age before I do. But that I'd be willing to deal with when the time came. And nurse her to the end if it came to it.

Although that was slightly off topic. I know it seems odd about the celebrity thing. But she was the only example I could think of at the time.