I don't know what to do

[Anonymous]

first of all I'm sorry this might be quite long.

I've been a member for a long time and I love this place and in some ways I feel that this place and the people here have saved my life. I offer advice to a lot of you but the truth is that I'm the one who is highly confused and lost. I go around on here and have actually made people feel better and I pretend to be happy and know who I am but I really don't know who I am.

This is basically just a rant and a plead for advice possibly but I have so many things going through my mind right now.
1. I don't know if I'm gay or bi or what I am
2. I'm not happy at all and some really bad thoughts have been going through my head lately
3. I thought I knew what my purpose was in life but I don't know anymore
4. I feel like I'm doomed to be alone for the rest of my life, I feel like life is just going too fast
5. I feel like there is nothing left for me to do in this life.

So I am a girl and I know I like girls but I also find guys attractive but I don't know if I could actually have a meaningful relationship or have sex with guys but then again I don't know about girls either I'm so confused but I'm out to my parents as bi and a few days ago my mom said to me "I don't think you know what you want" which is true I don't.

I'm feeling very unhappy right now I feel like I've accomplished everything I needed to do in this life and there is nothing left for me to do and its a very frightening feeling to have.

I thought I had my purpose in life figured out but I'm not sure now. I feel very unfulfilled in this life but like I said above I also feel like there is nothing left for me to do which is very confusing to me.

I live in a southern state which is part of the bible belt and am in my 20's and I know that I have plenty of time to find someone but I feel like I will always be alone there is no glbt groups close to where I live and I don't want to find someone in a gay club. I'm ready to find someone because I really haven't had a real relationship and I want somebody to spend time with, I am so ready for a relationship and I can't have it.

So basically this ^^^^^ is what has been going through my head recently and some of it really scares me I mean I'm not saying that I'm going to do something bad but at this point I'm really not sure what I'm capable of doing.

Please :help: if you can.

[Anonymous]

First off, you don't need to feel like you can only find someone in GLBT groups or gay bars. Remember that approximately one in ten people are gay or bi, but so many aren't out because they are scared of the persecution of others, or that they'll be alone as the only gay / bi person in their area.

Often you'll meet special people in the strangest circumstances, that have nothing to do with actively looking for someone.

As for losing your purpose in life, what was it when you were certain of it? Is it really affected by your sexuality? I have my own aspirations and dreams that have no relation to my sexuality at all. Don't be thinking at your entire life has to change or be messed around based on confusion over your sexuality. It is a part of who you are, but it does not define you. Don't try to force an answer, as you will resolve it through time.

If there are no support groups in your area, there are plenty online that can help through live chat or email. And of course EC. :icon_wink

I hope that helps a tiny bit, and good luck! (*hug*)

[Jim1454]

I'm really sorry that you feel the way you do. Working through this orientation 'stuff' is sometimes VERY overwhelming - I know. And the need to have that relationship with another person is very strong.

All I can say is - give it time. If you're in your 20s then there's no reason not to have hope. And there's certainly no reason to think that you've accomplished everything that you were meant to accomplish in life!!!

I've entered into a 'same sex' relationship (for the first time) in my mid 30s, and I can't believe how wonderful it is! So don't give up hope. If you've already come to terms with your orientation, then you're 10 years ahead of me with respect to that learning curve.

If you want to chat with someone, don't hesitate to PM me. Good luck.

[biisme]

you can always send me a message if you need to talk

<3

[SpikySpice]

I understand it's bugging you about your orientaion, lots of popel are thru the same thing, they come to reallize oly time has the answer

I understand that you relly waant to be in a relaonship, one of the man I know is in his late 40s and he told me this was the only 1st time he's in a gay relationship. You know, life is funny, nt anybody can reallize who they are at the early ages, thsi man already marrie and just reallized he likes to be with a guy more.

So you are still in mid 20s, i know how buggy it feels but you still have more chances , or do you feel like traveling to somewhere else to start a new life again? It 's just my thought liek when I cant find what i want in his place

I used tbe so jealous when anytiem my sis is being happy next to her boyfriend, but i came to reallize that Im only 16 and peopel kept telling me I still have a long life ahead, I know now you cant do anything but once things are settled down, just be patient