Am I fat/overweight?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure this seems like one of those attention seeking topics, but it truly isn't. I want honest opinions. Do I appear fat/overweight at all to you?

I've been very self-conscious of my weight recently, and I find myself eating less and less to try and make up for my extra flab. I even turned down my boyfriend when he asked to come over, because I knew we would end up having sex or at least making out with hands up each other's shirts, and ever since he said I need to be more active, I've felt fat. I don't blame him though. I eat very unhealthily and I'm not active at all.

I took these 4 pictures with my webcam. I think the pictures lie and make me look skinnier than I am. I can still grab rolls of flab on my stomach.

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/4853/cameroid176ba1hi8.jpg
http://img239.imageshack.us/img239/9797/cameroid176ca1kf4.jpg
http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/5568/cameroid176da1zf2.jpg
http://img137.imageshack.us/img137/8031/cameroid176aa1ra2.jpg

Again, please be honest. Lying and saying I'm skinny when I'm not won't help.

And yes, I know it could be worse. But I don't want to be fat at all.

[Anonymous]

One more thing to add...

I've also got HUGE thighs and a little bit too much ass.

Does eating fast food all the time make somehow make you gain 'thigh weight' and 'butt weight' because I've heard fast food goes straight to your thighs.

Weight loss tips would be appreciated as well.

[Anonymous]

omg no. You are not fat. What you have there is what I consider perfect. I don't like guys with muscles, I like it to just be smooth there, and buddy you got it. You wanna see fat, look at my profile picture. :icon_wink

But, seriously, I wouldn't change ANYTHING about what you've got there. :kiss:

[Jerr]

We have many threads with tips on losing weight.


I personally Don't think you are fat. I think what you got is nice. All that is left is toning what you have.

[Casey17]

omg no. You are not fat. What you have there is what I consider perfect. I don't like guys with muscles, I like it to just be smooth there, and buddy you got it. You wanna see fat, look at my profile picture. :icon_wink

But, seriously, I wouldn't change ANYTHING about what you've got there. :kiss:

Will a mod fix this please? I meant to untick the box. :eusa_doh:

[joeyconnick]

Fat goes where it goes... no particular type of food makes you get fat in any particular place. Biologically, people store fat in different places based on their genetics and body chemistry, women more in their thighs and butt, guys around the abdomen (I thing that's correct).

You don't really specify exactly how or what your boyfriend said exacty when he said you should be more active. If that was honest concern on his part about you just not getting ANY exercise, that's understandable. If he's trying to imply you're overweight, well, cameras generally DO lie but they tend to ADD weight, in my experience, not make people look more skinny, and based on the photos you posted, you look pretty skinny to me.

The only thing I could see from your photos that I could see you might MISTAKE for you being fat is in the first photo, where your have that little bulge above your hips. What you need to realise is that is COMPLETELY normal for a guy to have because that's where any excess weight is going to be stored first. Getting rid of that weight is EXTREMELY difficult--your body desperately tries to store extra fuel because our bodies are pretty conservative, so any extra calories (and in with modern diets, there are PLENTY) get stored. While technically I'm sure there's some fat there, what people seem to forget is that you NEED a certain amount of body fat. The images we see of celebrities like Zac Efron and others are either modified or represent people who are specifically training/eating/dehydrating to get that very cut look. That very cut look is NOT something that happens naturally with people. If you just had an active but not intensely active lifestyle, like 99% of people would still have trouble achieving that really "tight" look because (as I said before) the body likes to prepare for starvation (which earlier in human history was a really regular occurence) by storing up fuel for a hungry day in the form of fat.

In fact, most of the pictures you see of hot guys are not of guys who look that way naturally... they look that way because of either steroids or a hell of a lot of work in a gym. Or both. The kind of male upper body development that people under the age of 30 have grown up thinking is "normal" thanks to magazines and TV is really totally NOT normal.

So yeah: short story you are not at all fat. I mean, activity/exercise is good, and cutting back the junky food you might eat is good, but everyone needs to eat healthy to stay healthy, and super-restricting your food intake is not a good way to lose weight. Not that I think you need to lose weight.

[SkyTears]

It really hard to see anything on a web-cam for my eyes which is why I really don't use them. But personally from what I can see it doesn't really seem to me that you are overweight at all.

[Anonymous]

u are not fat

[Anonymous]

soooo not fat

[Anonymous]

Of course your not fat, your just not anorexic [which is a good thing!]
sometimes if someone has low self esteem or confidence they can get mental images of themselves that are completely wrong.
its ok ive been there, it turns out i was anorexic throughout middle school without really realizing it but i was hella skinny and convinced i was fat. i think its was becuz i hanged out with all the judgemental preppy chicks... wrong people.

[chrisbrgstrm]

You are not fat....it is ok to not be totally happy with your body but you are fine

[CrimsonThunder]

Definately not fat, you're a great weight! And if your boyfriend loves you he loves you for what you are so even if he did grab something when he reaches under your shirt he wouldn't care. :)

[Anonymous]

Definately not fat, you're a great weight! And if your boyfriend loves you he loves you for what you are so even if he did grab something when he reaches under your shirt he wouldn't care. :)

agreed u are in very good shape if u want to see fat look at my pics

[Urman]

^thats was me

[Louise]

You look just fine to me. What, do you want to look like a stick insect and have your bones sticking out in an unsightly manner? Your body NEEDS a certain amount of fat to be able to function properly.

Listen to Joeyconnick about where fat situates itself on the body. Everyone has a different morphology, there is nothing you can do about it, that is your lot in life you need to get to the point where you love yourself and your body warts and all coz you can't do anything about it.

No you are not skinny but then who wants to be skinny, you are slim and that is what most people find attractive... not too skinny, not too fat... just slim and lovely! :kiss:

[Grantious]

OMFG so not fat
I'd so do you lol
^^^^^^^^^
sorry if that was inappropriate BUT ITS TRUE!!!

[Anonymous]

Thank you joeyconnick for your excellent post. I will definitely take all of that into consideration.

I do feel a bit better now, and I guess the real solution here is just to make an honest effort to eat healthier and be more active. The fact that my boyfriend has a 6 pack and does back flips is discouraging, but I'll try not to let that get in the way.

[CrimsonThunder]

I do feel a bit better now, and I guess the real solution here is just to make an honest effort to eat healthier and be more active. The fact that my boyfriend has a 6 pack and does back flips is discouraging, but I'll try not to let that get in the way.

You're not fat....... You're lucky. :P

[Samus610]

Dude trust me you are not fat. I wish I was as skinny as you are!

[Paul_UK]

Looks good to me!

[Anonymous]

To be completely honest, I wish I looked like that. You're not fat at all. :icon_wink

[Anonymous]

Me too.

*looks at my stomach overhanging trouser waistband*

[joeyconnick]

Thank you joeyconnick for your excellent post. I will definitely take all of that into consideration.Hey you're welcome! I know it can be really, really tough to be okay with your body. In today's world, I think very few people are.

I do feel a bit better now, and I guess the real solution here is just to make an honest effort to eat healthier and be more active. The fact that my boyfriend has a 6 pack and does back flips is discouraging, but I'll try not to let that get in the way.Yeah, that kind of comparison can really do a number on your (or anyone's) self-esteem. Some people just do naturally have that kind of physique so between that fact and the fact that most images out there (which can be particularly true if you're looking at gay images) make it seem like everyone SHOULD have that physique, it can be a real challenge to feel okay about yourself.

As I said, if your boyfriend just thinks it might not be that great that you don't do anything very active, I think that's cool--he's showing a healthy concern for you in that case. But if it's because he's not okay with your body as it currently is... well let's just say if my body had ever looked like YOUR body, I would have been out at the clubs several times a week and been going home with whoever I wanted and screw anyone who wasn't okay with the fact I didn't have a six-pack or couldn't do backflips. *grin*

(This is my patented very long-winded way of saying I would not kick you out of my bed for eating crackers.)

At the end of the day, pretty much anyone can get themselves a "hot bod" with enough work and occasionally plastic surgery. However, dumb shallow often uninteresting people cannot usually change the fact that they are dumb, shallow, and uninteresting. So what I remind myself, and what I truly do believe, is that ultimately, people's selling point is their personality and their brains, because the physical stuff is generally the easiest to change and does always degrade over time as we all age. Sometimes people who are younger tend to forget that in 10 or 20 years (or maybe only 5), they may very well be balding and have put on 10 or 20 (or more) extra pounds, so while I do understand wanting a certain degree of physical hotness in one's partner, I find a lot of people's standards WAAAAAY too demanding.

If there is one good thing, though, it's that it's never too late to start eating more healthily and doing some moderate, healthy amount of exercise. I take a lot of encouragement from the fact that people of all ages change their routines and incorporate those two notions (eating more healthy, exercising healthy) into their lives, often to very striking results. I haven't quite got there myself but I'm working on it. *smile*

Anyway, feel free to talk more... I think body image issues are probably one of THE biggest topics of interest to... well everyone, but especially gay guys. You can PM me too if you want.

[Anonymous]

I think the main reason you think your fat is because your boyfriend is probably very very fit and athletic.......i felt the same way with my ex and everyone told me i was skinny i felt fat pulled at my little pudge i had and said i was obese.... i worked out stopped eating unhealthily lost weight but looked the same i realized i wasnt fat it's my bodyshape i dont care if i have abs or not

[Grof142007]

Your Not Fat Your Hawt :icon_redf

Me too.

*looks at my stomach overhanging trouser waistband*

same here