What Thing In Your Life Has Helped You More Then Anything Else To Define Who You Are?

[Hollywood]

(other then admitting you're gay/lesbian/bi/transgender/questioning)

I made it anonymous in case its a very personal incident you don't want tied to your name.

For me, it would be breaking away from the ridicously conservative christian church my parents had forced me into for 15 years. I would beat myself up daily over being gay, about lusting after men, about not believing the same things as my parents...i finally set myself free.

What about you?

[Anonymous]

Being relentlessly picked on and abused in highschool helped me to develop a sense of empathy, as well as compassion. Prior to that, I was a soulless monster. The me before highschool, I don't even consider to be the same person as the me that walks the earth today. As much hell as my classmates put me through, it brought about a very positive change in me, and overall, I am grateful.

Now if only I could bill them for all the therapy and medication I've had to enjoy as a result of their torture....

[Gustav]

After almost losing my life, i decided that i have to fight, work hard, and strive for success to accomplish my goals in life. This has made me a strong person.

[biisme]

Losing all my friends in seventh grade --> causing me to be friendless for a year (that has TONS of stuff tied to it) --> meeting my best friend --> becoming friends with her friends --> having great friends

that year that i was alone is very significant for me. i basically buried myself in books and cried myself to sleep. i think it's made me a little bit of a harder person (it became my instinct to be sarcastic and shut my feelings away), but it also gave me perspective on all my old friends and just things in general. i was so frivolous before. and cruel. even though i was depressed and it was hell, i wouldn't change what happened, because it has made me who i am today.

[Anonymous]

Realising and accepting that my mother will never love me the way I want to be loved. Not because I am not loveable but simply because she doesn't have it in her to give me.

This was a realisation that I came to this year after 20 years of depression and this fact has liberated me. I no longer have to try to please my mum, gain her approbation, worry about upsetting her or having her judge me... I'm free to be me!

[Anonymous]

my mum having manic depression. i wouldn't say it helped me define myself, but it made me grow up. if that wasn't true, i would be much more immature today and i would not be so honest with myself.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

my mum having manic depression. i wouldn't say it helped me define myself, but it made me grow up. if that wasn't true, i would be much more immature today and i would not be so honest with myself.

that was me.

[Anonymous]

Losing all my friends in seventh grade --> causing me to be friendless for a year (that has TONS of stuff tied to it) --> meeting my best friend --> becoming friends with her friends --> having great friends

that year that i was alone is very significant for me. i basically buried myself in books and cried myself to sleep. i think it's made me a little bit of a harder person (it became my instinct to be sarcastic and shut my feelings away), but it also gave me perspective on all my old friends and just things in general. i was so frivolous before. and cruel. even though i was depressed and it was hell, i wouldn't change what happened, because it has made me who i am today.

This sounds a lot like me, although for me it was the eighth grade and my my best friend is a guy, but I was alone for a year which lead to depression which I'm only just getting over now. But it lasted so long because of other issues that tied into it.
Another thing I would say that has helped me become who I am today would be having a father who never wanted me, and hasn't even tried to get to know me, also a mother who wasn't ready to have children but did so anyway. Being the only "normal" child meant all my mothers time was spent on my psychopathic sister, then my brother who had medical problems and in turn decided to take my sister as a role model meaning he acted just a crazy as her. Then once things settled down a bit my mum had another child, who is only 4 right now, so I have still yet to have any motherly experiences with her.
Looking back at that makes me feel real sad, to the point of crying (^_^), but I suppose it was for the best seeing as how it made me the overly kind person I am today.
Along with my mother never having time for me I would always try my hardest to keep put of trouble and would always clean for some reason. But then , because my mum has very few friends, she would always talk to me as if I were an adult and would always tell me things I didn't need to know, like how my sister was molested as a child and that my brothers twin died before birth, those things I really could have done without because they were too much of a burden for me to carry as a child.
Oops I always write too much and end up with a wall of text (>_<) Oh well sorry to whoever reads it all.

[The Enigmatic]

^Me :roflmao: (!) :bang:

[Time]

My mom finally allowing me to stop attending our conservative church on a regular basis really helped me. I can't stand that place. Almost every single Sunday the preacher finds some way to incorporate the fact that being gay is 'wrong' into his lesson, and it sickens me. When I do go, which is thankfully about once a month now, I find it easier to deal with because I can roll my eyes and laugh it off.

Another, somewhat more obvious, thing that helped me was being with a guy for the first time. I had always wondered what it was like, and knew in my heart that I would finally be able to tell just exactly what I was if I had some sort of sexual experience with another guy. While it didn't help me as much as I thought it would, I realized that it excited me more, and while I've never been with a girl, the thought doesn't even really do anything for me.

[Anonymous]

Idk,I think I'd have to say that when a cop pulls me over,sees my last name,knows my dad for the horrible things he did,and thinks I must be just like him.After a while they realize all I am is this nice kid that isn't trouble and doesn't want any.Realizing I am me not him.
Idk,I can't think!

[Hollywood]

Idk,I think I'd have to say that when a cop pulls me over,sees my last name,knows my dad for the horrible things he did,and thinks I must be just like him.After a while they realize all I am is this nice kid that isn't trouble and doesn't want any.Realizing I am me not him.
Idk,I can't think!

Wow. You must live in a small town.

[beckyg]

My things are people and since you all don't want to read a book, I'll try to be brief.

My mom - Who taught me that life and death are not what is perceived by the average Christian religious folk by introducing me to books like those written by Elizabeth Kubler Ross when I was 16 or 17 years old.

My husband - Who taught me ethics and values and who taught our children that its not okay to keep a ten cent ruler that you accidentally got out of Walmart with without paying for. Values that our children live with today.

A friend whom I loved and cherished for three years and then left my life as suddenly and unexpectently as he had entered it. He was so much like me that I learned to love myself the way that I loved him. I gained strength and courage and
self-confidence and learned I had a soul that was just waiting to be set free to be who I really am. The absence of him, gave me compassion, strength and courage and an understanding of the gay community that I would have NEVER had without it. He hasn't spoken to me in 9 years and I still cry almost everyday of my life because I miss him so much but life goes on. It was because of him and my beliefs that I left my fundamentalist Christian church that I had despised for 17 years but didn't have the courage to leave.

My son who inspired me to do what I do today. Who showed me my purpose in life and who always makes me laugh.

Last but not least, my daughters who instead of feeling jealous because Mom gives so much time and energy to her passion, understand and support me in my work and love their brother more than anything!

Truthfully I could write a book with my lifestory. Maybe someday I will.

[Anonymous]

Honestly my best friend my freshman year of high school helped me realize a lot. She taught me a lot and has helped me and supported me through all of it. Basically, my parents are too pushy that I don't want to tell them anything so I talk to her about it. She has now been my partner for a year today (Jan 15). I love her and she supports and loves the fact that I want to become a full male. My parents think I'm going to college near home. I'm moving once I am done with high school. I want out of this house. I'm moving to another state or back to my hometown. My partner and I are going together no matter what. My parents and my lover are the two things that have shaped me into who I am. Besides figuring out that I wanna be a guy, and that it is not unheard of, my parents wanting me to tell them everything has actually driven me away. But at the same time my lover doesn't make me tell her everything. Therefore, I tell her everything. That's just the way I operate I guess.

[justcallmejoey]

Ooops sorry that last one is me. I forgot to unclick the anonymous button.

[Anonymous]

Being the first in my family to graduate high school and seeing my family there all so proud of me. And before that when i sent card's with my senior picture to all my favorite teachers and then seeing them in person and spending time with them even after all the years since i last saw them.

Also introducing my mom to my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend and my third and seeing her grow each and everytime and being more accepting and more gracious and more sociable with each one. She's still very protective of her baby boy but she knows i'm the same as i always have been and she has grown to be as accepting and loving as she always had been.

[Astaroth]

Actually, the thing that made me realize and define who I am the most aside from my sexuality was my parents near-miss divorce. They announced they were getting divorced when I was 16. For six months, I did the visit-the-other-parent-once-a-month thing and it made me realize a lot of things about relationships and life in general. Happily, my parents got back together before the proceedings were completed and have been a couple again for ten years now. But those times created a lot of changes in my entire family, actually. We stopped going to church afterwards because the congregation was so nosy (and I am so thankful for that... I dreaded Sundays). My parents really mellowed out on their strict rules. For instance, the first time I heard pop music in my house was around this time. Seriously. My first CD was Madonna (of course it was :p), and although I know my parents were apprehensive, I think my broadening musical tastes actually expanded theirs as well. They listen to a wider spectrum than I do now! It also opened all of our minds to new possibilities. I began to question my religious beliefs (which have taken a full 180 now). I totally flipped political views. I realized that my parents were fallible humans just like everyone else. It's amazing how much changed in that short amount of time. In fact... that's around the time I came out to myself and my, at the time, fiancee as well.

[sexyalex]

my diary, i love my diary soo much and i write in it everyday and keep it with me everywhere i go. at school, at home even if we r taking a day trip out to the country(*hug*) . but most of all,:icon_sad: my diary has been my bestest of friend....in times when no one has.... :tears:

[Anonymous]

My things are people and since you all don't want to read a book, I'll try to be brief.

My mom - Who taught me that life and death are not what is perceived by the average Christian religious folk by introducing me to books like those written by Elizabeth Kubler Ross when I was 16 or 17 years old.

My husband - Who taught me ethics and values and who taught our children that its not okay to keep a ten cent ruler that you accidentally got out of Walmart with without paying for. Values that our children live with today.

A friend whom I loved and cherished for three years and then left my life as suddenly and unexpectently as he had entered it. He was so much like me that I learned to love myself the way that I loved him. I gained strength and courage and
self-confidence and learned I had a soul that was just waiting to be set free to be who I really am. The absence of him, gave me compassion, strength and courage and an understanding of the gay community that I would have NEVER had without it. He hasn't spoken to me in 9 years and I still cry almost everyday of my life because I miss him so much but life goes on. It was because of him and my beliefs that I left my fundamentalist Christian church that I had despised for 17 years but didn't have the courage to leave.

My son who inspired me to do what I do today. Who showed me my purpose in life and who always makes me laugh.

Last but not least, my daughters who instead of feeling jealous because Mom gives so much time and energy to her passion, understand and support me in my work and love their brother more than anything!

Truthfully I could write a book with my lifestory. Maybe someday I will.

You should Becky...I wish my mom was like you in a lot of ways.

[Hollywood]

^that was me :)