Oral sex question

[Anonymous]

Okay so recently I gave a guy oral and i know he had been with other guys but he said he's always used a condom so i though "okay, must be fine" but that other thread in chit chat has got me a bit worried :S He didn't um 'ejaculate' into my mouth nor was there any pre ejaculate from what i could see and 'detect'... is there any chance that i might have caught something serious? Im not too worried but im still a bit concerned.... :(

[Paul_UK]

If you don't have any sores or ulcers in your mouth, and don't have a throat infection, I think the risk is very small. Certainly small enough not to worry about.

[JayHew]

There is low risk in that sort of activity, NOTE - I said low risk for contracting something, but I did not say NO risk. Even with condoms, there could be a 1-3% chance of something being contracted. For the most part, there will likely be little to worry about.

As Paul pointed out above, if there were any injuries to the mucous membranes of the mouth the chances can increase. Then too, what sort of sexual history does the partner have? Sex with them means in a way, sex with all of them or at least exposure to anything they might have brought along to the encounter than purely themselves.

[Anonymous]

See this was what i was worried about in that discussion that people caused much un-needed worry about this... i know you can get std's and aid's from this but it is a minimum to low risk, and as long as you didnt see any sores on there penis or in your mouth it's unlikely even if he had it you would catch it that way...

[Hollywood]

See this was what i was worried about in that discussion that people caused much un-needed worry about this... i know you can get std's and aid's from this but it is a minimum to low risk, and as long as you didnt see any sores on there penis or in your mouth it's unlikely even if he had it you would catch it that way...

STDs arent constantly plainly visible.

Just be careful :)

[Anonymous]

I think you'll be fine. I've had lots of guys cum in my mouth and so far (*knocks on wood*) there've been no problems.

Of course there's always risk but eventually I believe you have to look at it like this: there's always risk of a lot of things that we don't tend to waste much effort worrying about. Like being hit by a car or being in a car accident, which statistically can be pretty high. I mean, we could be violently attacked or slip and have a serious fall or get hit by falling debris... there are a million, million things that can "go wrong" in life (cancer, war, famine, poverty, injury) but generally most people manage not to let those potential catastrophes stop them from living. If you looked at it a certain way, you'd never, ever leave the house. But most of us DON'T look at it that way because to do so would be total folly.

There are fair few really great things in life and personally I think sex is one of the truly great ones and so while I try to stay informed about sexual risks, I also remind myself that living is just plain risky business. To me it's not worth denying myself the chance to enjoy something cool by freaking out about all the potential things that could go wrong.

I think there's a huge difference between being aware of risk and being worried about it. So if I were you, I wouldn't be worried.

[Anonymous]

yeah ive given and got oral, and barebacked and been barebacked, and never used a condom with the one mate i am with, we have never came inside each other either though. im still safe though.

[Paul_UK]

Anal without a condom IS a risk, whether or not you come. There is pre-cum, there is slight abrasions with a small amount of blood.... Cum is not the only means of transmission.

As JayHew pointed out, you are relying on completely trusting your mate and he trusting you. If both of you have never had unsafe sex with anyone else ever, or otherwise know for a fact that you are HIV-, then you are probably OK.

Read Micah's post in the Condoms thread from earlier today. http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?p=120712#post120712
You could so easily be the next James.

YOU ARE NOT SAFE.

[Anonymous]

OP: That James story is what prompted me to make this =[

[Anonymous]

Some people try to scare people straight....other try to scare you into staying a virgin.... other just warn you and give you advice, and share all the risks...... Be careful and check all the warning signs but dont worry yourself to death

[Anonymous]

Of course there's always risk but eventually I believe you have to look at it like this: there's always risk of a lot of things that we don't tend to waste much effort worrying about. Like being hit by a car or being in a car accident, which statistically can be pretty high. I mean, we could be violently attacked or slip and have a serious fall or get hit by falling debris... there are a million, million things that can "go wrong" in life (cancer, war, famine, poverty, injury) but generally most people manage not to let those potential catastrophes stop them from living. If you looked at it a certain way, you'd never, ever leave the house. But most of us DON'T look at it that way because to do so would be total folly.


Yes, life is full of dangers but almost everyone takes daily and subconscious actions to avoid these, who on earth crosses the road without looking! Everyone knows that cancer can be aggrevated by stress and risks are lowered by eating fruits and vegetables regularly and I think lots of people try to follow this advice. These potential catastrophes don't stop you living but you do take precautions, well the same can be said for sex. Yes sex can be potetially very dangerous, you have to be aware of the risks and take the necessary precautions without going to the extremes of abstinance of course!

There are fair few really great things in life and personally I think sex is one of the truly great ones and so while I try to stay informed about sexual risks, I also remind myself that living is just plain risky business. To me it's not worth denying myself the chance to enjoy something cool by freaking out about all the potential things that could go wrong.

I agree with you here to a point but, protecting yourself does not mean denying yourself the chance to enjoy life. If you protect yourself properly you can live a long an healthy life having fun, if you just worry about having fun now and hang the consequences you might find yourself living a very short life and cutting short all this fun!

You need to find a balance between being aware, being responsible about your own health and life and having fun.

[Paul_UK]

^ That's an excellent post.

(No, it wasn't me)

[Anonymous]

Of course there's always risk but eventually I believe you have to look at it like this: there's always risk of a lot of things that we don't tend to waste much effort worrying about. Like being hit by a car or being in a car accident, which statistically can be pretty high. I mean, we could be violently attacked or slip and have a serious fall or get hit by falling debris... there are a million, million things that can "go wrong" in life (cancer, war, famine, poverty, injury) but generally most people manage not to let those potential catastrophes stop them from living. If you looked at it a certain way, you'd never, ever leave the house. But most of us DON'T look at it that way because to do so would be total folly.

Yes, life is full of dangers but almost everyone takes daily and subconscious actions to avoid these, who on earth crosses the road without looking! Everyone knows that cancer can be aggrevated by stress and risks are lowered by eating fruits and vegetables regularly and I think lots of people try to follow this advice. These potential catastrophes don't stop you living but you do take precautions, well the same can be said for sex. Yes sex can be potetially very dangerous, you have to be aware of the risks and take the necessary precautions without going to the extremes of abstinance of course!I wasn't advocating not taking precautions. I was advocating not living in fear. You can check before crossing the street as much as you want, live as healthy as you want, and still get hit by a car or come down with cancer.

Precautions are not going to keep you 100% safe--life is not under our control. It's a lot less under our control then we like to think, even. We can influence it, sure, but we can't stop bad things happening to ourselves or our loved ones. So, as I was trying to point out, taking precautions is good but dwelling on the fact that there is ALWAYS RISK is pointless. I just get a little frustrated at people who go on and on about how there's ALWAYS risk with sex when there's ALWAYS risk with life, whether you have sex or not. It's like sex is somehow SO much more risky than anything else, which I think is bunk.

Sexual risk is just part of the risk of living... the possible negative consequences of having sex shouldn't be any more feared than all the other possible negative consequences of living.