Frustrating Friend

[PenAndInk]

Sorry this is kind of long, but I'm pissed, confused, and ranting.

I am having trouble communicating with one of my friends. She's plays varsity basketball (total opposite of me -> nerdy and bohemian) and it takes up so much of her time. I'm not saying that I don't want her to play, because it is something she loves, but her coach is an ass who doesn't let her play even though she gives 110% everyday, and she's constantly exhausted either from practice, or games, or school work. I mean, I am constantly busy for school as well, but I think I make more of an effort to hang out with my friends on weekends and such. It wouldn't be so bad if the season was shorter, but I've been her crying shoulder for this stupid "team" for three years now. I can't even count how many times she's called me crying because her coaches didn't play her and played underclassmen or even middle schoolers instead. I never get to hang out with her anymore, and I feel kind of unwanted when I do. I want to support her and be there for her because I'm her best friend, but I feel really disconnected from her lately. :confused:

Also, I haven't had anytime to make sure she's okay with my sexuality since I told her. I really hope she doesn't feel creeped out or uncomfortable around me, because it would just break my heart if she's not okay with it. But in a way I don't feel right asking about it until basketball season is over and giving her a chance to see if she just goes back to normal. I'm really hoping it's just the stress of being involved in a sport, since it's such a big commitment, that's making her so distant and acting weird.

I just don't know how to handle this right now. Should I just hang in there until the season is over? Give her some space? Ask her what I want to ask? Necessito ayuda mi amigos! :bang:

[Astaroth]

Well, although I can't say with certainty what you should do in this situation, from the facts that you've given, I have to say a few things. First, this friend sounds like she's using you more than being your friend right now. Every time she has a problem, she comes crying to you. She neglects to hang out in favor of a sport she isn't excelling at. And she won't even talk to you about your own issues when you're obviously in need. I'm not saying that she isn't a good friend or that you should just kick her to the curb! Just that, at this point, she needs your attention more than your presence, if you get my drift.

Now, should you press the issue of your sexuality with her? That's up to you. If you feel comfortable with it enough to talk with her about it, why not? Just because she's stressed with extra-curricular sports shouldn't be any excuse not to be a friend. Heck, she always calls you in tears and expects you to listen every time something goes wrong for her. The least she could do as a friend is listen to you in return for once and have a normal friend-to-friend conversation. As Jim posted recently, if someone isn't talking to you about your sexuality, it may help if you jumpstart the conversation for them. She may just be self-conscious about the subject right now.

That's my two cents. They don't buy much these days, though. :icon_bigg

[beckyg]

That's great advice Astaroth! Make an appointment with your friend, if you need to, and tell her that you need talk to her about something important!

[PenAndInk]

Well my whole gang (mom, dad, bro, me) are going over to her house today. Our families are really tight. I'm hoping she'll be a bit more perky today, and that I'll have time to bring up some stuff with her because I want to get it off my chest, and continue being honest with her. But, if she's in a bad mood today I'll just give her some space I don't need her negativity ruining my day, I can always hang with the rest of her family because they are all awesome and like my second family :eusa_danc Thanks for the advice! (*hug*)