Sex: Ok now. No wait. OUCH!

[Micah]

So I have a problem...

The last time I was on the receiving end of anal sex was just over 1 year ago, and my experience wasn't the best. While we used a condom and plenty of lube, the process was a bit rushed and the boy was a little too well hung, resulting in plenty of pain on my behalf.

Now, 1 year later I've met a really nice boy who I'm currently seeing. Problem is he seems to have a bit of a problem: quite a thick penis and keen to be on the giving end. Now I know all the steps to comfortable sex: taking it slow, start small, use lots of lube, etc, however I would really like the first time we have sex to go smooth...

Some of my friends have recommended certain exercises before and inbetween sex, such as using fingers or other objects to slowly expand the anus get it used to foreign objects.

However, no matter how much lube I use, it seems I can get 1...sometimes 2 fingers in max. I tried this for a few days and it seems I'm fairly "tight".. So I'm curious as to whether there is something I can do to relax my anus muscles more, and help them expand a little bit before the "show".

[Miaplacidus]

Um, well. I'd recommend the use of toys, smaller ones (there are REALLY small ones) - see, fingers (note plural) are not the best option, because they tend to stretch the anus a lot in one dimension.

Take things slowly, as in VERY slowly. It took me a month to be able to take more than a finger. Only when you feel comfortable with ONE finger (as in, when it feels good) try with more.

If he's willing to do that to you, he should use his tongue there - in my experience that causes the anus to relax fairly quickly. Condoms make the entry easier as well, at least in my experience. Of course, pick the ones which are smooth on the outside.

Hope that helps...


EDIT: When you get in, go straight for the prostate - it will make you forget the discomfort.

[ppreston9]

yeah in my exp receiving, like everytime, we take it at a steady pace. start with the foreplay and get relaxed and horny. then maybe have him lick ur ass out and maybe one or two fingers in. i think u should do this just lying down on ur stomach with ur legs real wide. just have him lower his cock and u can even put it in ur ass ur self. or u can ride him and have complete control.

personally, i can fit two fingers in by myself, but in foreplay he can fit like 3 and almost 4.
but with a dick, the size really matters. thickness might hurt alot, but idt length will affect unless he is like forcing it.

[ohioboy]

Remeber to relax it only hurts if you think its going too

[KatoKumi]

I think you should just take it slow. Fingers didn't work well for me, first time. Hurt. So I suggest something more phallic... Or however you say it. And, if you take it slow, in my opinion it feels better and it's easier to get used to...

Idk how to describe this, lol. Hm, really intimate sex is a way to get used to it. I think that works... I remember my first time it was basically all kissing and licking, while I was still getting used to it being inside. Then I don't remember much pain, [except for the insertion, ouch].

I don't know...this is just me talking to myself, sorry, lmao.

[Grof142007]

just be remeber to relax


-.- 2guys younger than me have got some action and i havent -.- *crawls in hole *

[otc877]

just be remeber to relax


-.- 2guys younger than me have got some action and i havent -.- *crawls in hole *

S'okay I'm your age and I havn't gotten any either :)

[waitingsucks]

I would suggest anal-masturbating as much as possible, like Miaplicidus said, It will take awhile to get used to foreign objects, not such on the night. Use as much lube as possible and just try to relax as much as possible, don't push hard just do what you do with the muscles and aim to keep it at a certain degree, if you stop concerntraiting on relaxing you will ussually lose it and the anus will tighten up. Start with one finger, slowly work up to two and maybe even more when you're ready. Just find a position where you can completely relax, it can be on your back legs spread, on your knees or on your side. Just think about relaxing and stay in that frame of mind and it shouldn't hurt.

Hope it helps.

It's important guys, it's not a funny matter. :eusa_naug

[Nicvcer]

As for your anal problems, it is true, perhaps you will never like it... but if you're determined to get railed by this guy then I have a suggestion from my experience when I bought my first dildo.
It was too big and just hurt, providing almost no pleasure, so I decided to backtrack a bit.
After a few weeks I was ready for it and it was amazing. I rarely use it anymore though, as I have become quite attached to the smooth gliding test tubes :)

Go buy some stuff at walmart or something that has a size you're comfortable with and can smooth glide, just be wary of the material. Then go to Joe Blows XXX store and get a big one if you feel you are ready.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/nicvcer/private/showcase.jpg

Above is shown the progress you can make, from left to right.
I don't use the 3 on the left, they are just examples.

I hope this helps.

Thats a quote from a different post of mine, but I figured I'd drop it in here too.

I haven't had too many problems myself but when I do I just remember to relax. If you're thinking how the f* do i relax my sphincter, well honestly I just act like I'm taking a dump, that does the trick. I also only use toys after having a bowel movement, I tend to enjoy it much more as cleanup is way easier and the overall feeling is better. Lube is great, but theres even times where I don't even need that to get a smooth glide. Also working it in and out over and over usually relaxes the sphincter as well, once you really get it going the rest is cake. I would suggest removing any foreign objects (other than your fingers) before you cum as the anus tightens up and they can be difficult (sometimes quite painful) to remove.

I suggest getting several objects and just graduating in size, worked for me!

D

[ppreston9]

oh, and the spooning position is good to limit the insertion and pain. Just lie on ur side with him in back of you and make him go really slow

[JayHew]

As above but also use a position where you control the insertion. Also remember, you control the whole of everything, it is not the top.

[Gerry]

I would just try going all the way at first. During it, once you relax there should be nothing to worry about. I'm speaking on personal experience, I don't know if it would help but I hope so. :kiss: Good luck with that.

[TriBi]

Some posts here have been deleted as they were straying off the topic of the advice that was requested.

This is actually a rather mature subject matter for a forum that includes people as young as 13 - and for that reason we can only allow it if it remains serious, purely informational and on topic.

I'm sure you understand - Thx.

[Jamie]

I think poppers are meant to help as a muscle relaxant, and whilst they're legal in the UK not sure about AUS. If they are maybe they'll help the first couple of times... wouldn't recommend like constant use though.

[Ty]

I think poppers are meant to help as a muscle relaxant, and whilst they're legal in the UK not sure about AUS. If they are maybe they'll help the first couple of times... wouldn't recommend like constant use though.

I've read somewhere that they're damaging to you in some way? IDK...

[KatoKumi]

Of course poppers are dangerous. I think they're like a drug that slows down the blood flow or something of the sort. Everything in moderation!

The more you know~ :cue star:

[Alexander]

Don't use drugs to make it easier - it won't work. Just graduate yourself through different sizes of things, starting small. The easiest way to let something in is to push out. Don't rush. Think about the pleasure, not the pain, and the pain will go away.

[ppreston9]

put water in a condom and freeze it. idk. homeade dildo lol. might help u get used to sizes in ur anus

[TriBi]

Brrr! - and that could potenially be more than uncomfortable...

Frostbite anyone? ;)

[KatoKumi]

...my homemade dildos consist of flashlights in condoms. haha, that's, like, a fetish, Peter. ;p

I might try it though...

[Jerr]

Brrr! - and that could potenially be more than uncomfortable...

Frostbite anyone? ;)

Agreed... frostbite no bueno...

[BoiCub]

:jawdrop: WARNING VERY EXPLICIT AND POLITICALLY CORRECT BUT BROKEN DOWN FOR YOUNGER MINDS!!!!!!!

From somone who has been torn and has had to relearn here goes...

Remember first of all this area is used to an EXIT only proceedure. So inserting into it is a complete mind fumble and your brain says: "I'm intrugued..." But your bum says... "NOT-normal out every body out..." To get past this thake the following into consideration:

You have two muscles you have to fight first of all. Outer Sphincter and an inner sphincter. They are round "rubberband-like" muscles made for expanding and contracting. It takes ALOT of practice and patience to get these muscles to accept that they are going to be penetrated in the reverse of thier natural process.

First I reccomend getting an anal douche/ or fleet enema to cleanse yourself out. So theres nothing going to be left on none of your fingers/johnson/or toy. Also helps to guard against impaction and not being able to go potty once everything fun is done.

After being sufficiently cleansed start getting used to something small and build up slowly!! They make certian anal toys that help someone build up. If you can get your hands on some GET THEM!!!!

There are huge statistics of people gay/straight/bi/tri that end up in the hospital because of something getting stuck or disappearing into thier behind. If it doesn't atleast have a base on it like an anal plug, or atleast have a handle like tool on the end, it has no business up your behind.

Start small and work slowly to get used to it. Make sure there is PLENTY of lube and condoms...OMG use them!!

Now there is an awesome lube called boybutter that makes several different kinds of lube. They have 2 oil based lubes that are safe for personal use with toys and for fingers and whatnot, but they will break down a condom it is a silicone based lube it will break down a silicone based condom and even the silicone based toys. Therefore use maybe a sheepskin. As for the water based kind, it is toy and condom friendly and washes cleanly and safely and is also very enriched with lanolin and shea butter. This is my own preference. The blue label is the water based lube, the yellow label is the oil based lube and the black label has an additive to create a specific amount of numbing to cause the experience to be not as painful.... HOWEVER!!!!!!!........ This is where nice fun lovely sexual experience can turn south and cause BAD BAD MOJO to happen to nice little tight bums.... If you can't feel the pain and a certian level of resistance, and you guys are going at it really rough, and not paying attention, you can get hurt and tear or rupture the VERY delecate soft tissue on the sides of the walls of the anus. This creates either hemerrhoids or fissures/tears and they either have to heal on thier own or you could end up needing surgery to repair the tissue back there. Now use this numbing stuff with caution and lots of lube and being safe and starting small and building up gradually is a great idea.

If fingers are involved, remember you have nails, clip them, and remember toys are made smoother than your fingers and can be alot gentler feeling. If you get hurt and go too hard too fast and too big and tear... (It happened to me)... you will bleed badly everytime you pass a bowel and it does not feel good at all. Also with the fact that bleeding can happen, and you choose to not be protected, you just opened your body to anything and everything that partner may or may-not have. And this is how diseases are spread.

Something I learned in the army was: "Perfect practice makes perfect response." Meaning you learn and try to do it right the first times and follow the same rules for yourself to begin with, less likely you'll have any chances of hurting yourself or others... Literally.

Happy and safe and fun loving to all...
:goodluck:

[Blaz]

just be remeber to relax


-.- 2guys younger than me have got some action and i havent -.- *crawls in hole *

S'okay I'm your age and I havn't gotten any either :)

lol, add me to the list.

[hairdye]

Pay A LOT of attention to the "entry way" during foreplay. licking, rubbing, fingering.
That will loosen and relax it the most. Take time with it, the longer the foreplay, the easier the entry.