Finding support

[Keera]

Ok. I am just starting to come out to people. I have told my sister. Who acted as if I prefered buttered toast to dry toast. I came out to my SIL who talked with me about it. I came out in another (nongay) forum and have gotten support there. And I came out to a woman I liked. She didn't share my attraction, but she was very nice about the whole thing.

One day in class a girl I talk to randomly told me she was gay. So I randomly told her I was bi. This was the first time I hadn't "planned" the announcement.

I have sense figured out that there is another lesbian in the class. And the first girl asked me if I wanted to go to a gay event. To which I said yes. These girls are very nice and I would like to befriend them. But, I feel sooo needy right now and I don't want to scare away the friendships I could be forming.

I don't care if my old friends know if I'm gay or not. I'm really not conserned about them yet. I want to settle into myself before I have to explain it to other people. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

So, I guess the problem is that on one hand I have friends that I'm close to that aren't much help as far as me coming out because they are straight. And the only gay people I know I only have just met and don't want to overshare and scare them away. I also don't know how much I want them to know about me in general.

I guess my problem is that I have no problem with coming out. I only worry about coming out to my dad, but that's an entirely different subject. I just don't know how to come out.

Does that make any sense?

[Nicvcer]

So, I guess the problem is that on one hand I have friends that I'm close to that aren't much help as far as me coming out because they are straight. And the only gay people I know I only have just met and don't want to overshare and scare them away. I also don't know how much I want them to know about me in general.

I guess my problem is that I have no problem with coming out. I only worry about coming out to my dad, but that's an entirely different subject. I just don't know how to come out.

Does that make any sense?

Your straight friends may be more help than you know! With each friend that you tell you increase your confidence factor, whether they be gay or straight.
There shouldn't be the need to overshare too much, just overshare to us, we can't get enough of it! I do agree that oversharing may be cumbersome to them and may scare them away.
You were invited to a gay event... yes! Use this opportunity to give yourself a much-needed jump start.

Imagine that you are joining a new church, your friend that you have met has brought you along.
[okay back to real life now :P]
She won't mind introducing you to her friends there as someone who is gay. Surely your friend has gone through the same situation and I think she will be happy to introduce you to a new world of people. Perhaps the easy way out (having someone else tell everyone that you're gay) is in fact the best way out for your situation.

I'll also be having quite a hard time with my father when I tell him. I'm gonna go for the "blurt it out randomly" technique. I'm not going to think it through as that will simply create doubt and fear, not moving me closer to my goal.

Good luck!

[InaRut]

Well you say you don't know how to come out. But your doing a darn good job of it already. I wish I had the ability to say, "I'm gay" even when someone tells me they are gay...I think by, "Not knowing how to come out." is only really saying, "I'm not ready."

If coming out to your dad is a scary idea, then make sure you have alot of support to back you up. I think the more you go to gay events and the more you associate yourself with gay peoples the more you will be ready to come out.

However >_> Seeing how my coming out went I was kinda kicked back in the closet. But if I had friends who knew and supported me then I'm sure that wouldn't have happened.

So here is your to do list:
1) Build your friendship
2) Come out
3) Fall back on friendship if needed.

Good luck!
*CU-CU-CU-CHU AWAY!*

[beckyg]

Hi Keera!

It sounds to me like you are doing just fine in the coming out department. Just take things slow and come out when you feel the time is right. I wouldn't worry about being too needy. I'm sure your new found friends have been in the same place at one time or another. Just enjoy your new friendships!

[donnie5]

another good thing is the more people you come out the easier it gets i was so scared the first person i told i was bawling and barley making sense but just recently someone i had known for a long time said i heard you were gay and normally i would have been scared but i was actually kinda excited that i could say yea i am and flaunt it about. if theres one thing i learned out of the whole coming out process is that it feels so good not to keep it locked up anymore it is the best feeling i have ever had!!

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

beckyg is the clever cookie ^^^ in fact everyone has made good comments. just keep going well as you have so far, and see where the friendships go. it sounds like you're a nice person who people would want to be friends with. :) and welcome to EC!

[panda]

Just keep doing what you're doing.There's no rush.The right time to tell others will happen at the right time..:thumbsup: