Homophobic homosexuality

[zumbo]

It is ironic and maybe rude but even though I'm gay, I'm also afraid of other gays, especially the flamboyant ones. I'm soft and I have always considered myself to be gay.

Does anybody here feel the same way?:icon_sad:

[kholdstare90]

Personally I don't but i know many gay people who feel the same way.

[Nicvcer]

I'm afraid of the flamboyant ones, though I don't mind telling them I'm bi.

[CrimsonThunder]

I'm not afraid of any gay people... But I don't like some. Is that homophobic? No not really because I don't just dislike them because they're gay.

[Grof142007]

It is ironic and maybe rude but even though I'm gay, I'm also afraid of other gays, especially the flamboyant ones. I'm soft and I have always considered myself to be gay.

Does anybody here feel the same way?:icon_sad:

i do not feel the same way but i can understand why somone would:icon_bigg

[donnie5]

personally i was kinda shocked by fla,boyant when i first came out because it was knda like a shock to the system but once you get out there and got to clubs and such you'll realize that you'll like some gay guys you won't like others just like you like some people and don't like others and it won't matter anymore that there flamboyant. though this may be different for others i am just a very non judgmental person and ususally see people for who they are and not what they look like or what they act like i hope that was of some help:icon_wink :icon_wink :icon_wink :icon_wink

[KatoKumi]

It's not homophobic; it's just not the type of people you associate with.

I'm kinda flamboyant myself; so I don't have much say in this. Problem is a lot of gay boys just wanna show pretty to feel pretty. :]

Well, at least, that's why I do it, hahah.

[new18]

What does FLAMBOYANT mean? It terms of homosexuality?

Does that mean feminine? For me, feminine men have never been something I have found "appealing" for a couple of reasons. I hate how people stereotype you, if you are gay then you must act girly.

Yes it is true that many gay men tend to act feminine, (But it depends how FAR you take it) but that stereotype is something I really do not feel comfortable with.

It is different when you are a transgender person. And I am from trans rights.

I prefer gay men who act more heterosexual. In fact I would most likely rather be friends with a


"Heterosexual" acting homosexual, then a heterosexual who acts metrosexual,


DID THAT MAKE SENSE???????????????????

[John Smith]

It makes sense. I mean I'd feel pretty uncomfortable in the company of an OTT and camp gay man. Probably because they're free to flaunt their homosexuality out in the open whilst I'm still rooted firmly in the closet.

[Temujin]

I prefer masculine guys. I dunno why I do, but I think it has to do with "presence". How a person carries themselves and how they communicate with the world and those around them has a sexy appeal to me. I just wouldn't feel comfortable in public with a very effeminate guy. Maybe because i'm afraid they too would think i'm gay by association? I dunno, does that mean i'm not fully out to myself? On the other hand, I have no problem being seen in public with another masculine guy. And i'm anti-PDA, either way. What does that say about me? It's an interesting question to ponder.

Anyhow, am I homophobic toward effeminate guys? I dunno, I don't feel comfortable around them in public but privately I have no issues. Does that make me shallow??

Argh. Too much psychoanalysis. :icon_redf

[ok455]

I get really nervious around other gay guys

[Astaroth]

I usually have a blast with effeminate guys. When I first started my coming out process, I had an aversion to effeminacy for the same reasons. However, I have come to find that most "girly" guys have a lot more fun in the end because they have no reservations about being themselves. They aren't worried about other people's perceptions, and that liberation seems to rub off on others around them.

[beckyg]

I haven't encountered many gay people I don't like. Is that weird? :)

I remember dragging my sister-in-law to see Brokeback Mountain. She was a little nervous about it all and the first person I ran into was one of my very effeminate guy friends. I mean this guy had a wiggle in his hips that would out do any woman. He carried a purse sometimes and had a very high pitched voice. He came running up to me and hugged me squeeling as he did it. I turned to my sister-in-law and said "how could anybody think that Markie chose to be gay?" She just nodded her head in agreement :)

[new18]

I know this off-topic. but I LOVE transvestites and transexuals!!

They are soo cool!! Just with self-confidence and the attitude !! I love it.
I want to have a friend like Jeffree Star!!

I THINK WE WOULD BE BEST FRIENDZ!!!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFsOhoQPuec

[smartguy]

i guess thats understandable

omg when i first saw pictures of gay parades with the cross-dressers and half naked dancers in leather i was like WTF, but whatever thats culture

[Ty]

I don't think any 'type' of gay people particularly scare or annoy me.... maybe the biker ones.... >.> eep!

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

i don't displike any type of person... so long as they're nice. maybe once you meet a feminine/flamboyant gay man you like you can begin to get over your fear of them :) they're just doing their thing, you know... it's no problem.

[24601]

I think a distinction needs to be made between homophobia/fear and just dislike...

While I don't really mind flamboyant gay guys... or flamboyancy in general, there are certain types of people I just don't like. For example, really stereotypical stupid slutty girls (okay, that sounds harsh, but anyone in high school can probably match the stereotype) - I'm happy to live and let live, but I try to avoid socializing with them. Does that mean I'm sexist or afraid of girls? Not really. I also don't really like gangster-type guys. Does that mean I'm heterophobic or afraid of them? Well, sometimes I guess I might be afraid of them... but that's a different kind of thing, haha, I'm definitely not afraid of them as *people* or as an entire sexuality.

So, basically, it's possible to just dislike different sub-groups of people. Gay, straight, bisexual, alien, it doesn't really matter - I only consider it a phobia/one of the dreaded "-ists" if it's the WHOLE group without any individual consideration. It is possible, though, to be homophobic and be gay, but, by the way you describe yourself, I don't think you are.

[Luroon]

I get nervous around other gay guys simply because I don't want to come across as lame or whatever and make an undateable fool of myself.

As for not having much tolerance for more flamboyant men, thats not homophobia at all. It's just like discriminating a potential partner on any other quality like height or weight. Just because were gay does not mean that we will without hesitation hook up with any other gay person...thats like saying a straight guy will screw any straight girl simply because the parts match.

[divadarya]

What gives me hope here is that so many of you, out or not, take it for granted that Homosexuality is just the way you are, and that's the way it is. The religious right are finally on the ropes in the US; you guys are a tidal wave that the country will simply have to accept.
I'm trans, and a lot of us grow up trying to overcompensate by being hyper-masculine; there's a lot of trans veterans. I think our culture gets nervous around anyone who is open and expressive about who they are unless it's some rich white blowhard; we are all "supposed" to admire him because he's "made it"....
I know gay men and women I can't stand and others that are my closest friends and confidants;we're all human, and different.
GOD..don't get me started on trannies....!
We're a complex bunch, a drag queen(like Jeffree Star) is not a crossdresser(Eddie Izzard) is not a transsexual (Calpernia Adams, or that great woman on "Dirty Sexy Money")
Trans means you felt different your whole life, and then found that you really have the right brain in a body with the wrong sex organs on it...
anyway..love you guys.
Darya

[Nicvcer]

What does FLAMBOYANT mean? It terms of homosexuality?

Does that mean feminine? For me, feminine men have never been something I have found "appealing" for a couple of reasons. I hate how people stereotype you, if you are gay then you must act girly.

Yes it is true that many gay men tend to act feminine, (But it depends how FAR you take it) but that stereotype is something I really do not feel comfortable with.

It is different when you are a transgender person. And I am from trans rights.

I prefer gay men who act more heterosexual. In fact I would most likely rather be friends with a


"Heterosexual" acting homosexual, then a heterosexual who acts metrosexual,


DID THAT MAKE SENSE???????????????????

I am not comfortable with the stereotype either, which is why I'm just gonna wear the armbands. I won't have to change my voice or my semi-heterosexual attitude. The stereotype also makes it harder to come out, because in the back of my mind I think people think I was lying to them (because I usually-never act effeminate, simply because thats not ME).

[BabyBoy]

I'm a bit afraid, and often I might even say annoyed? I don't wanna be an ass when I say that, but....:confused:

[SpikySpice]

I feel normal around other gay guys except when i have crushes on them
But if I feel comfortable, it's a dangerous thing

[wherewulfe]

quick english lesson, irony= the oppsite outcome of what is expected after a series of actions, example: i sold my watch to buy you a game, you sold your game system to buy me a chain for my watch

with that out of the way, i dont really blame you for fearing the falmboyant ones, they are just a little too happy but they can be a real mood picker uper at the right times

[24601]

quick english lesson, irony= the oppsite outcome of what is expected after a series of actions, example: i sold my watch to buy you a game, you sold your game system to buy me a chain for my watch


That might be one of the definitions of irony as a literary device, but irony (especially in colloquial speech, although it is actually defined in this way) can also be used the way he used it. If you go by the definition of irony being the opposite outcome of what was originally expected, the fact that he is gay should therefore make him unafraid of other gay men (seeing as he is not afraid of himself, I don't think, and would not like others to shy away from him based solely on his sexuality). Irony is also often used (and again, alternatively defined) with phrases that mean the opposite of their literal meaning. For example, if, after driving 10 hours to go to an amusement park, I was informed that the park was closed for extended maintenance, I might reply, "Lovely." It's not actually lovely that the park is closed - my response could be termed ironic. I don't often like to criticize people or be an ass like this, but if you're going to "teach" people, at least teach them properly.

Also I realize this is off-topic, sorry.

[Blaz]

I'm against the whole flamboyant and tranny thing as well.

[Thatsit]

yeah, I'm sorry but I really don't like it when gay guys are really flamboyant. I feel like they just want to be noticed and be like "hey everyone, look at me, I am gay!" and I dont mind the fact that they are open about it, but its exaggerated. It also adds to the stereotype. I'm sorry if you find this offensive, just my opinion.:thumbsup: :)

[zumbo]

I get nervous around other gay guys simply because I don't want to come across as lame or whatever and make an undateable fool of myself.

As for not having much tolerance for more flamboyant men, thats not homophobia at all. It's just like discriminating a potential partner on any other quality like height or weight. Just because were gay does not mean that we will without hesitation hook up with any other gay person...thats like saying a straight guy will screw any straight girl simply because the parts match.

Yeah, I had an experience with a gay friend who tried to hook up with me. He's not really my type so I think that I somehow busted him by not replying to most of his greeting text messages. I believed that sending me those messages was his way of telling me that he wanted me to be his boyfriend so replying to those might make him think that I confirmed the notion. I just couldn't say directly that I didn't like him because he didn't affirm that he liked me anyway. Now, he usually ignores me when we see each other.

No offense but I think that some gays think that a gay person is willing to hook up with just any guy and they can't fully respect other gay people for not hooking up with them.


Off-topic:

What does FLAMBOYANT mean? It terms of homosexuality?

Does that mean feminine? For me, feminine men have never been something I have found "appealing" for a couple of reasons. I hate how people stereotype you, if you are gay then you must act girly.

Yes it is true that many gay men tend to act feminine, (But it depends how FAR you take it) but that stereotype is something I really do not feel comfortable with.

It is different when you are a transgender person. And I am from trans rights.

I prefer gay men who act more heterosexual. In fact I would most likely rather be friends with a


"Heterosexual" acting homosexual, then a heterosexual who acts metrosexual,


DID THAT MAKE SENSE???????????????????


I am not usually willing to hook up with metrosexuals but I thank them for subtly diffusing gay concepts which I believe would have some benefit to homosexuals someday.

[beckyg]

yeah, I'm sorry but I really don't like it when gay guys are really flamboyant. I feel like they just want to be noticed and be like "hey everyone, look at me, I am gay!" and I dont mind the fact that they are open about it, but its exaggerated. It also adds to the stereotype. I'm sorry if you find this offensive, just my opinion.:thumbsup: :)

Truly, I don't think for some it is an "act". Look at Ross the Intern, sure he's doing television and all and probably elevates it on there but I have watched him and read his blog and I think he really does act like that all the time.

[CrimsonThunder]

Yeah, I had an experience with a gay friend who tried to hook up with me. He's not really my type so I think that I somehow busted him by not replying to most of his greeting text messages. I believed that sending me those messages was his way of telling me that he wanted me to be his boyfriend so replying to those might make him think that I confirmed the notion. I just couldn't say directly that I didn't like him because he didn't affirm that he liked me anyway. Now, he usually ignores me when we see each other.

No offense but I think that some gays think that a gay person is willing to hook up with just any guy and they can't fully respect other gay people for not hooking up with them.


"Some gays" - Thats true, some do, but some straight guys think the exact same thing about girls. So its not just a gay thing.

But I've experienced that... It is annoying.

[Suede7]

Yup......can be scary eh?! kinda like showin up at a "bon-fire" without a fire-hose or riding Python "the roller coaster" with no restraints.
Here's the deal...........you are dicovering, that's all, just part of "learning you". All of your likes and dislikes inventory is growing day by day. This will give you the "power" to move through your life. It will also allow you to make some really good decisions regarding relationships of all kinds ( friends, partners, co-workers etc).
It's ok if you're freaked out. To date large "drag queens" are still pretty scary. Simply put.......just not my scence. Now a hot "circuit boy" , that's another story!, for another day Lol!
Your fine,( notice I did'nt reference "Normal" - hate the word and the guy that invented it!!LOl) you're just learning what you like!!
The more exposure you have to the "Flaming Flamboyancy" of our world the more you'll come to understand it's more about individual expression. We all do it differently.

"Some men will be men.........some girls will be girls.............some men will be girls............and some girls will be men. In the end were all Human!!" :icon_wink

Enjoy the Ride! It'll be over before you know it! :eusa_danc

Stay Strong & Press On!

Suede&
Delray Beach, FL.

[silversurfer]

I have to say I'm the same way as the poster of this thread, I think femme or flamboyant, I guess I should first learn how to spell, but anywho, I think it revolves around who you identify with, I have hung around straight guys my whole life whereas, don't quote me on this, but most gay man revolve or feel comfortable around women and pick up some traits, just like straight guys or straight girls, or lesbians around men or whoever your friends are. We all take on traits of our friends, sense of humour, artwork, TV, music, whatever.

Funny thing I was thinking about this yesterday, homophobic is fear of homosexuality not fear of gay people in general. I've hung around other gay men not alot but everybody has different ways of expressing themselves. I feel for myself maybe going to a few clubs sometimes would help relieve some of this fear because it is irrational.

I know my fear stems from going out and having people try to pick me up and not knowing how to react. Just like any phobia it's just fear of something, as long as nobody goes around bashing anybody phobias can be overcome, you probably just prefer people that are a little more masculine, not macho that's totally different. But I think hanging around people that are good people whether flamboyant or not gay or not is a good thing, it's the person you like not the actions.

I'm not there yet, but hopefully will be, plus I have problems around people in general so I don't know if I'm much help. I've also joined Facebook and connected with people from Highschool and my past that I haven't come out to, they keep asking me if I want to goe out sometime and I blow them off, and the last time another man wanted me to call him I got so dizzy I felt like I was going to pass out. Just my opinion.:thumbsup: