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Andrew Rn2bSoon
7th Feb 2008, 10:29 AM
Hello everyone,
<===== My name is Andrew (my picture), I recently stumbled upon these forums and it is the best thing i could have ever imagined. I will be 23 in early march and have known i was gay since the age of 19, but subconsciously have known i was always "different" than all my friends and family as early as 16 years old. Anyway being in the "closet" the last 4 years have been the worst years of my life, and it feels like this never ending feeling has been "eating" away at my insides for the longest time and i feel terrible about myself everyday since the age of 19, i have felt that i have been wasting away my youth for all these years trying to pretend to be someone else, someone everyone wanted and expected me to be. But i cannot stand living a lie anymore, i just become to exhuasted from the "straight act" everyday that i was begining to Isolate myself from family and friends by pushing them away because of myself being gay and subconsciously trying to weaken the blow i would feel if they rejected me after i told them who i really am. This forum has given me the strength and courage that i did not have four years ago, i am going to give my parents a letter that i wrote since i am shit for words and freeze up in fear eachtime i want to tell them face to face. This will be weird and i am still very terrified since i still live at home and am still in college journying on the way to my own career...this will sound sterotypical for the gay man, but i am aspiring to get into nursing school and become a Rn with my ultimate goal of becoming a CRNA one day in the near future.

I have read so many wonderful stories about boys and girls of all ages being happily gay and "out" to the world. I can nolonger live a lie, it is just taking too much energy out of me pretending to be "straight". A normal day for me is somthing like this, I wake up everyday and if someone is home i say "Good morning" and i leave to class pretending everything is alright, when infact everything is wrong. After 4-5 hours of arduous classes such as A&P2 w/lab, Microbiology w/lab and a few others as i am trying to juggle 16credits. I finally get home when my classes have ended. I walk in the door feeling like a worn out withered old man with a kane, or completly streched to the max like not enough butter on toast. My personality has suffered as a result of this and i have become withdrawn, dull, and silent from friends and family and have no energy left to be "me" at the end of the day because more than half of my energy was used putting on the "straight act" and i just feel completly EXHAUSTED. I can't put on this ACT anymore. I am ready to tell my parents first either today or tomorrow for sure, and my two brothers soon after. Someone once said, "Live life, or die trying" (kinda sounds like 50cent with "get rich or dye trying") anyway, im ready to face the heat, cause its better to be HAPPY and LIVE LIFE FOR WHO YOU ARE than to ACT another way in fear of the consequences and rejection..i am ready and still terrified of what my parents faces will look like when they read this letter that i have poured my heart and soul into writing..overall, once its said and done, i think they most likley will be completely floored at first, but will hopefully accept me for who i really am because they are best caring parents i could have ever asked for in a 1000 lifetimes, and will continue to love them no matter what happens as a result of them knowing the REAL ME..:eusa_doh:

I love these forums and hope to hear from everyone. This is the scariest moment of my life, i am a 100 more times terrified of this outcome, compared to when i had to give a senior speech infront of 600 people (entire school) inorder to graduate back in 2003...sry for such a long post...i just had to get it out their..hope to hear from you boys and girls soon:eusa_doh:

Psychedelic Bookmarks
7th Feb 2008, 10:38 AM
wow. many welcomes andrew, and well done for being so brave!! i really hope your coming out goes as well as you hope, and you can start letting the world see the real wonderful you :) (*hug*) welcome to EC, and congrats for letting yourself shine! good luck!

beckyg
7th Feb 2008, 10:51 AM
Andrew,

First welcome to EC! This is truly a very special place. I'm happy you found us.

At the top of Support and Advice, there is a link called PFLAG Publications. I highly recommend that you check these out, download them, and print them for your parents especially the one called called Your Daughters and Sons. I can also mail them to you if you PM me with your address. These would be great to give to your parents in addition to the letter and will help answer some of the questions they might have about sexual orientation. Also, if your parents are religious at all, Faith in Our Families is good for that. Good luck with your coming out. We're here to support you and encourage you.

sdc91
7th Feb 2008, 11:29 AM
Hey Andrew! First off, welcome to EC.

It feels a lot better once you're out. After I came out on Sunday to my parents I felt better. Mind you, I still have a bit of weight on my shoulders because I live at school with people I'm not out to.

I went through the same thing as you. I'm taking 21 hours this semester and I started to withdraw myself from everyone here. I would go to class, do homework, and force myself to go to a club meeting or two, then fall asleep or talk with people from here on MSN.

I wrote a letter, too. I couldn't exactly muster up the courage to talk face-to-face, but I'm going to follow up on things when I visit home in a couple of weeks. It made it a lot easier. Just make sure it's clear and say you can answer any questions, because they'll have a lot.

Good luck, and tell us how it goes! Congratulations!

Grof142007
7th Feb 2008, 11:30 AM
Welcome to EC and Good Luck It worth it coming out Life will be less hectic

Sam
7th Feb 2008, 11:36 AM
Welcome to EC! I know the feeling of being exhausted and tired of lying. Good luck with telling your parents and make sure you tell us how it went. I too wrote a letter well 2 actually but anyway you'll feel so much better after you come out to them.

heatqueen
7th Feb 2008, 11:57 AM
Welcome to EC and good luck! :D

Paul_UK
7th Feb 2008, 12:46 PM
Welcome to EC, Andrew. Good luck with the coming-out. Please let us know how it goes.

Astaroth
7th Feb 2008, 01:42 PM
Welcome, Andrew! That's so exciting! I really hope things go well for you. Looking forward to hearing the outcome, and do follow Becky's advice. PFLAG's brochures and pamphlets will answer a lot of the common questions you'll likely get in the first few weeks, and it sort of proves that you're serious about it too (not that you aren't, obviously, but sometimes parents think it's a phase). Good luck!! :thumbsup:

panda
7th Feb 2008, 02:42 PM
Welcome!!:welcome:You are a brave guy!You'll meet lots of great people here.

Glad you found EC.

biisme
7th Feb 2008, 04:14 PM
welcome to EC!

Nodnarb
7th Feb 2008, 05:09 PM
Welcome to EC Andrew!

I hope it all goes well!

otc877
7th Feb 2008, 11:54 PM
Welcome to EC!
Let us know how it goes

kramer362
8th Feb 2008, 12:36 AM
i know how you feel about feeling exhausted sometimes by it i can definitely relate. i hope your parents take it well! :eek:

Suede7
8th Feb 2008, 08:35 AM
Andrew,

Welcome to "EC" my friend. You're a lucky man, I only wish I had stumbled across this site when I came out. I am new to the site as well and am blown away at the "positive" exchanges I witness almost daily from other members. A great place to receive support and support others.

To your anxiety I say this,............so hard to beleive right now but most of my worst fears when "coming out" never came to fruition. So maintain your "optomism" my friend, hard as that might seem right now. I am here to tell you "hold on" cuz you're gonna love the ride. More excitement and exhilaration than one man can handle.

I can't wait to hear from you once you're on the rebound. Nothing but abundant "blessings" to you Andrew!! I am sure you are going to do well!

Hang in there! :icon_wink
Stay Strong & Press On!!

Suede7
Delray Beach, FL.

Jim1454
8th Feb 2008, 09:34 AM
Hi! Welcome to EC from Jim in Toronto!

You are indeed lucky! I also had signs that I was gay in my late teens, but I forced them out of my mind and denied myself the freedom to be the 'real me' for another 15 years. It really is exhausting - I can totally relate to where you're coming from.

This really is a great forum. You'll find more support around this topic here than anywhere else on the internet - I'm sure! Enjoy - and don't hesitate to ask a question or for advice.

I sincerely hope that you're parents react in a positive and supportive way. I'll also be interested to hear how it goes!

(btw... amazing smile! What a cutie!)

Perrygay
8th Feb 2008, 01:25 PM
Welcome to EC Andrew. My name is Andrew too!

Hope you enjoy EC:thumbsup:

Wander
8th Feb 2008, 05:14 PM
I don't think I could tell them in person either; I plan to come out through letters when I finally tell my own parents. However you end up telling them, I hope it turns out well.

And look! An entire post without a single "welcome to EC" in sight!

Andrew Rn2bSoon
8th Feb 2008, 08:35 PM
im very stressed out and having second thoughts...i havent given them the letter as of yet..i think i might just nutt up and say...mom dad...we need to talk...and tell them everything iv been feeling for the last 4 years...the main concern that is on my mind is...my dads a Anesthesiologist...and wants me to become a Rn(nurse) and i wanna become a nurse too...with the hopes of becoming a CRNA one day which is similar to an Anesthesiologist....but what if once i tell him that im gay..what if he dosent want me to become a nurse anymore? cause of the gay nurse sterotype...even thou their are alot of gay nurses workin in hosptials...and hes paying for all my college and will be payin for my nursing school too...ahh so much on my mind what should i do?:icon_sad:

crimsonarcher
8th Feb 2008, 09:19 PM
you follow what you think is right.

Andrew Rn2bSoon
9th Feb 2008, 12:12 AM
ok i did the unthinkable tonight...i finally mustered up enough courage to overcome my terrified feelings and talked with my dad ! and explained to him that i was gay!..he had the complete opposite reaction of what i first thought he would..he didnt freak out at all! he said it didnt matter if i was gay or straight or blue black or orang...it just didnt matter...and that he loved me for who i am...and we talked for over and hour about it.. and he is a very loving understanding father...he says he works with alot of gay ppl all the time and has no problem with me being gay at all!...we just talked and even thou he is a heterosexual man...he gave me some good advice...and other stuff...im so damn happy with myself that i thought i was dreaming when it was all said and done!!! iv wanted to tell him for over 5 years now that i am a gay man...i still gave him the letter to read later..

i wish my mom was in the room at the sametime thou...cause she was sleeping...but my dad said that she feels the same way as him and wont care at all...i feel like i lifted an elephant off my back ...and thanks becky...i printed off that gay daughters and sons booklet...amazinginly it seemed like my dad knew everything that was already in that booklet (cause i read it too myself and know what the booklet says) and he didnt even look at it yet cause we were talkin the wholetime...im so damn happy with myself that i finally told him...cause over the past 4-5 years i have been pushing away my parents from me cause of being scared to talk with them....ahh im so tired im gona to sleep now...and have the best sleep ever now that my mind is clear...:lol: :icon_bigg

sdc91
9th Feb 2008, 12:19 AM
Congrats! Kudos to your dad. He sounds like a great father.

Sure feels, good, huh?

Grof142007
9th Feb 2008, 12:27 AM
COngrats you will sleep well =)

Paul_UK
9th Feb 2008, 04:53 AM
Result! Congratulations Andrew!

beckyg
9th Feb 2008, 08:24 AM
After I read your post about your Dad's profession, I was going to say that I bet he knows and works with alot of gay people and will have no problem with it. In fact, most colleges require that people working in social services and the health care industry have some education on sexual orientation and gender identity.

I'm so happy for you! What a relief. I hope the talk with your Mom goes just as well!!! (*hug*)

Andrew Rn2bSoon
9th Feb 2008, 11:40 AM
thanks for all your support you guys and gals...it was a blessing for me to find these forums..if i had not found them...then i know i would have tried to hide who i really am to my parents for another 5 years and by that time who knows what it would have done to my psychy...my dad said that he talked with my mom this morning b4 she went off to work (she is the same profession as my dad) and she said that it dosent bother her and they both will support me for being myself...my dad said that he wants me to feel happy and when i finally meet another boy he wont care beinging with us out in public or going out to dinner or anything...he just said to watch out some ppl will give you the hairy eye...and to not let that bother you...

i love my old man so much...i still cant belive this is happening..i feel like i have totally knocked down that relationship barrier i had put between me and my dad inaddvertantly over the last few years...im so happy that i can just talk too him anytime i want too and not be frightened of doing so like it had been in the past when i was putting up that relationship barrier subconsciously between us..:lol: ill still have to talk with my mom for alil while probably...but for somereason i think she kinda new all along (mother knows best, motherly intuition)and she sensed that something was wrong...cause i was always tired out and down....my dad also said that nursing and all hostpital jobs are a safe place for everyone...cause know one cares about your personal preferences and that ill never have to tell anyone i work with unless i feel comfortable in doing so..and that ppl will eventually just know even if i dont tell them but wont care cause its really not as big of a deal as i thought it was...

ohh boy ohh boy...im so relieved...but where would i be today if i hadent found these forums...thanks guys and gals for all your support! thanks becky!:lol:

Bromptonrocks
9th Feb 2008, 11:47 AM
Welcome to EC.

Well done and congratulations.

Astaroth
9th Feb 2008, 03:51 PM
That's awesome, Andrew! Congrats! It's all a downhill ride now.

Negasta
10th Feb 2008, 03:40 AM
Good for you Andrew!!!

charlie12
10th Feb 2008, 06:13 AM
Hey Andrew,

Wow!! I am so proud of you! You are so brave and you definitely have guts. I give you so much credit. I'm so glad everything went so well as it did. I couldn't be more happier. Well done, Andrew! :thumbsup:

heatqueen
10th Feb 2008, 07:07 AM
CONGRATS!!! What awesome reactions!!!

XxTheNumbOnexX
10th Feb 2008, 07:10 AM
YAY!!GOO ANDREW!!!*hugs u* :) (sowwy i like to hug pplz T_T)

sngl
10th Feb 2008, 11:08 AM
Welcome to EC! I'm so happy that these forums have helped you so much and that you've finally come out!! (!)

Dave
12th Feb 2008, 04:16 PM
Congrats on everything, great dad you got!