Gender torment leads 10 yr. old to suicide

[beckyg]

http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/Gender-torment-of-10yearold-Cameron.3781793.jp

This is so sad.

[KatoKumi]

To be honest, if he hung himself, something wouldn't connect with me. I told my parents I wanted to wear make-up as a kid too [embarrassing time for me]. But can a child really be that unhappy in their gender to actually kill themselves?

I feel sorry for the parents, but I don't know if a child could be capable of doing that. Although it is possible, I'm doubting it as for the moment. And strangely enough, I hope that it was someone else. Because I don't want to think that in this world a child would do that due to what body they were born in to.

[Midnight Angel]

That's terrible.

[beckyg]

Yes KatoKimi, a child can be that unhappy with himself. There was a 20/20 show on trans children last year and all of these children were very very unhappy. One little guy tried to clip his penis off with fingernail clippers. They often expressed their desire to die. A 10 year old has probably watched plenty of TV. To learn how to hang himself would be quite easy. They show this stuff on TV all the time.

[panda]

Very sad.

[BabyBoy]

That's just awful.

[Time]

That is so unfortunate. I can't imagine what his family must be going through :(

[TriBi]

That is a terribly sad story.

One good thing I did get from the report is that the article also references sympathy extended by a support group for people/families afflicted by gender identity confusion:
http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/Gender-torment-of-10yearold-Cameron.3781793.jp?articlepage=2

It also mentions their website - which I located:
http://www.mermaids.freeuk.com/

If anyone has a chance to look in more detail - perhaps this might be one to add to the EC list of resources? (From the very brief look I took, it seemed as if it could be quite helpful).

Becky - do PFLAG know of them?

[Jamie]

That is uber sad.. such a shame that such a young person felt the need to take his own life, especially so soon after it had started. Now his parent's are forever left with the feeling that they could and should have done more.

[CrimsonThunder]

"He was not himself but he made no mention whatsoever that he would harm himself," she said. "On that day he was happy as Larry."

No he was trying to be himself but the mum would hardly let him be it and the community he lived in laughed at him for being himself.

Thats just terrible.

[sngl]

that's really sad :tears:

[beckyg]

TriBi,

I haven't heard of them but it does look like a good resource.

As many of you know, I do child care for a living. In my work, I have seen many parents force gender roles on children. Boys are frequently told they can't play with dolls because they are "for girls". In my early childhood training, I was taught that it is quite normal for boys to play with dolls. In fact it teaches them how to be good nurturing fathers so anytime I hear a Dad make that comment, I say something like "he's learning how to be a good Dad." That tends to shut them up. My son didn't play with dolls that I can remember but he did pretend like he was cooking all the time when he was little. On his 2nd birthday, I bought him one of those play kitchens. He loved it. One thing he didn't do was say he was a girl. The difference between trans kids and boys who might like to play with dolls or dress up in girls clothes, is that trans kids really KNOW they are in the wrong body. Some even as early as age 2. If a child is allowed to transition at an early age, there lives are so much better. We have to start educating people about this. It is not okay to force gender roles on children. They need to be allowed to just be who they are!

[darkravenvt]

That is such a sad story. I wish all parents would support thier children. No matter what, they are your children and should always have your unconditional love.

[Tom]

tht is sad =[ people should be able to express themselves in any (non-violent) way they wish=[

[Lava421]

Ten years old...

I wish people would have to pass a test to become qualified parents.

[Wolfbane]

I just wish that our society was more welcoming to the trans gend...so that things like this didnt happen because they would feel welcome in society. Maybe its just me...but stories like this just mean that a change is needed.

[heatqueen]

Aww that is soooo sad :(

[Andrew Rn2bSoon]

awe i just read teh article...what a sad story...he looked like a charming young boy who would make someone happy one day in the future...why cant society just let people be who they want to be? and do what they want to do? :icon_sad:

[Orion]

That's incredibly saddening. And eye-opening. I hadn't even thought about a kid actually going through that at such an early age. It's true that something should be done and they should recieve all the support they can.
I wish it didn't have to take something like this to make me (or others) realise that.

[Nicolio]

I had no friends at that age, but I could never imagine hanging myself! I wonder what makes a CHILD of all people so depressed that they hang themselves... If only that boy had someone who could understand him. Nothing this horrible should ever have to happen to boy or his family... Kids can be so mean, it's sad that he was teased mercilessly for just being himself.

[Jamie]

Ten years old...

I wish people would have to pass a test to become qualified parents.
to be honest though, it doesn't sound like his parents were bad parents. From what I read of the story his mother allowed him to wear girls underwear in order to try and make him happy. But when his school friends found out they took the mick.

I think it was society who needed to learn to be more accepting.

[Paul_UK]

That is so sad.

to be honest though, it doesn't sound like his parents were bad parents. From what I read of the story his mother allowed him to wear girls underwear in order to try and make him happy. But when his school friends found out they took the mick.

That's how I read it too. I think his mum was trying to do her best for him, even though she was probably confused herself. She wouldn't allow him to wear make-up, but then many mums of 10 years old girls probably wouldn't let them either.

[Urman]

That is so sad i don't think it was the mothers fault she tried to help.

[bvtsjm116]

Thats so sad :(

[Ty]

When I was little, i liked to garden, cook, use the washing machine, dress up in dresses and paint my nails... Ofcourse I don't do any of this now a days (cept cook and garden maybe)...

I don't like it when gender roles are forced on =[ The only reason I did all of these things was because I stayed around my nans alot and she kinda encouraged it. Heck, she even let me walk up the road in her high heels =/

My dad kept saying that she was turning me gay and poofy though lol ~

[Ty]

And I just read the whole thing... How disgusting... A 10 year old shouldn't even think of such things =/

[Rizpaz]

Jesus... a ten year old? What is wrong with society... :(

[interstella]

10?! omg that's horrible :( poor parents

[Proud1p4]

I feel sorry for the parents, but I don't know if a child could be capable of doing that. Although it is possible, I'm doubting it as for the moment. And strangely enough, I hope that it was someone else. Because I don't want to think that in this world a child would do that due to what body they were born in to.

Unfortunately, children as young as 10 can too feel some of the darker side of emotions. I see young children in the psychology ward at the local children's hospital all the time. My mother, a nurse, has friends that cares for many depressed kids. This situation in particular has to be hard on any child, especially in this day and age.

They often expressed their desire to die. A 10 year old has probably watched plenty of TV. To learn how to hang himself would be quite easy. They show this stuff on TV all the time.

So true! They see images of death daily, but how often would you guess that child had heard or seen positive mention of transpeople in his life?

"He was not himself but he made no mention whatsoever that he would harm himself," she said. "On that day he was happy as Larry."

No he was trying to be himself but the mum would hardly let him be it and the community he lived in laughed at him for being himself.

Thats just terrible.

I wouldn't be so quick to blame his mother as some people have in this thread. How i read the article she was quite understanding and accommodating to the child. She allowed him to wear girls underwear and said that he could wear makeup when he was "older". Plus she said communication was open and free between them. If anything, i'd say it was only for her that he was given hope. Most regrettably and sadly, not enough.

The difference between trans kids and boys who might like to play with dolls or dress up in girls clothes, is that trans kids really KNOW they are in the wrong body. Some even as early as age 2. If a child is allowed to transition at an early age, there lives are so much better. We have to start educating people about this. It is not okay to force gender roles on children. They need to be allowed to just be who they are!

Becky, i couldn't agree more. Gender roles serve no purpose but to suppress, condemn and are a reality that is both archaic and retrogressive. In by allowing children to develop according to their own needs you form a happier child and thus a more productive future member of society. This is a problem easily fixed we need to get the information out there, throw gender roles out the window in places like daycares in particular (kudos to you for fighting the good fight in your own work!) and get positive mention up so that people struggling this issue are getting some of the warmth homosexuals are now starting to receive (baby steps).

[divadarya]

Some trans kids are very insistent on the difference at this age;it's like waking up in this life and knowing you are in the wrong body; a lot of us, like me, wake up much later.
I blame ignorance and fear of social consequences for things like this. His mother meant well but didn't get the magnitude.
Dammit...
People need to get that we don't make this shit up...
:icon_sad: