Hey. So I was out with another of my friends from my old school today, and I hadn't seen her in a while (more specifically since I realised I was gay about a year ago). And we went to dinner, just us. It was pretty intense, but for some reason I hadn't come out to her yet, and so she was pretty comfortable, but I wasn't... I'm generally pretty paranoid and awkward and all those good things :dry: I realised something. Whenever I find a straight friend of mine, who I grew up with, who I hung out with, hot - and for some reason there's a lot of em - I switch off my gay. I think, I can't be gay. I can't, because that would mean I'm attracted to this person and that's wrong, they're them. I've known them for XYZ amount of time. I realised that for a long period in my life I pretty much exclusively hung out with girls I thought were hot simply because I really got along with them and I found them fun to be with. But now I have confessed being a lesbian to myself and gotten over most of my issues in the past year, coming back to meet these old friends confuses me. I get so confused and awkward (it's not noticeable, I don't think, but it plagues my thoughts). The fact of the matter is, I have been looking for gay girls like the ones I'm friends with for a while - as partners. Those are my ideal partners. I'm cringing really badly writing this. I just wanted to know, have any other lesbians gone through this? I know it's a pretty specific thing, but anything similar? I feel bad even thinking about my friends like that, but any other girl that's like them I just jump on... :lol: I worry because once I do actually get a girlfriend and my old friends meet her, they might realise she's like them and feel disgusted or something. I feel like a bit of a creep.
I do the same thing with people from high-school, unless we were good friends. For the same reasons. I guess I just unconsciously surrounded myself with people I wouldn't be interested in dating.
I have a similar problem but instead of meeting old friends, im realizing that i may have been (jokingly of course) subconciously picking my guy friends due to how hot they were. All of my friends are my type.
I'm The same i have a very specific type and the similarities are uncanny, i dont think my friends have noticed...but i do and its pretty cringy so your not alone.
Yeah, I hadn't really thought about it, but now you say it... I do find a few of my friends attractive. For that same reason, I'm super reluctant to actually tell them because then they might be like : "well do you find me attractive" and I'd be like "errmm... ahh... Oh look! A distraction!" :eusa_whis
EXACTLY god I hate that I did that hahah well it's good to know I'm not alone. How'd you guys deal with this? Just get over it and act like it's not there? Have any of your friends ever asked you if you found them attractive?
