Being bisexual first..

I thought I was bisexual until this past year.

 

The vast majority of children are not certain of their sexuality before their teens early teens. Many are fully aware of what their more powerful attractions are, but most don't completely understand what that means at that age. Is admiring a sex the same as liking them? What do these feelings of attraction actually mean? Can there really be no one of 'X' gender that I will ever want to be with? Those are heavy questions to answer in the early stages of adolescents.

So I don't think most of us were bisexual. We probably just didn't know if all of this was really set in stone yet. Uncertainty

 

Well.. I might be gay or straight. Im only 13 so im still in the age range where i could think i wasnt bisexual eventually. All i know is that i like girls, and i like guys too.

weird thing is, when im thinking about guys, i feel unatracted to girls, and feel like im gay, but the oppisite is true if im thinking sabout girls. I feel like i should be able to think there both attractive at the same time

 

This past school year (the 9th grade) was when I first questioned my sexuakity. I was convinced I was bi. Not until literaly the last week of school did I think I was gay. Now I accept that.

 

Umm at this point I think that I probably a bisexual. I don't think that it's going to happen with me because if I want to or not, I know that i'm attracted to men.
But I know a few people that thought they were bi and then it turns out that they are gay

 

I thought/knew for a number of years that I was bisexual but was out as a lesbian because of biphobia and being pressured to 'pick a side'. I'm questioning that now (thinking I might be gay) but I think that's fairly common in the LGBT community- many peole either come out as bisexual because they percieve it as 'safer' or they may later self identity as homosexual/heterosexual because they're primarily attracted to one gender or feel pressured, as I was, to pick sides.

 

Yeah my whole life I was always OPEN to the idea of being with a guy.

Then this year when I finally got into that idea and explored it, I realised what I thought was attraction to women was but a tiny synthetic fragment of what I felt towards men.

 

That's how it seems to be for me. Attraction to women felt forced, in a sense.

 

I think what you went through with the whole "understanding your sexuality better" is obviously common, and so that is understandable that you thought you were bisexual initially.

 

I didn't actively identify as bisexual, but I spent my denial phase trying to convince myself I was bisexual. My feelings for men were too strong to pretend I was straight.

 

Same with me. But I still think there are real bisexuals. I thought I was bisexual, but realized I was gay but what's true for me isn't exactly true for everyone else.

 

Yes, it happens, and then people like Dan "McDouchealot" Savage use that to doubt the legitimate bisexuality of all youth.

I don't fault you for it.

 

I did identify as bisexual (to myself) while I was growing up, but that was mostly because I had sexual attraction towards males, and emotional attraction towards females. I had only had crushed on girls before (or at least that I understood to be crushes at that time).

Looking back, I did crush on 2-3 guys during high school and another guy last year. I did have 3 strong female crushes during high school, so that threw me off a lot, I certainly couldn't be "gay".

I think the best way to classify why I was attracted to girls back then however, is social conditioning. I grew up surrounded by heterosexuality and unaware of homosexuality, so that's what I believed to be the "only possibility". Meaning that my initial attraction to girls was really more about their personality than anything else. I absolutely could not for the life of me think about sex with a woman however, it did not work.

 

When I first realised my attraction towards guys a few years back I thought I had a crush on this girl at the same time, so that should make me bisexual. I never came out as bi though, didn't think it was necessary, but looking back I realised the crush turned out to be something I made up in my head, to be perceived as straight.

All this was way before I found the asexual card, which finally made everything clear including the massive period of me questioning my orientation.

 

I may be a lesbian. I may be bisexual. I don't see that as an important question for me; I'll love who I love, and think about who I think about. If that's girls and guys, great, and if there are no guys involved, that's great too.

I think that my identifying as bisexual for the past couple years was the best conclusion I could come to given the evidence. I do not and will not regret coming out as bi, nor do I think that bisexuality is not a legitimate orientation simply because it may not be my orientation after all, or because it may not be my orientation any more.

If people use bisexuality as a stepping stone for coming out whilst knowing they're gay, I also don't begrudge them that.

Oh, and two thirds of bisexual youth go on to become bisexual adults.

 

I've spent the past decade of my life (I'm 20 now, been 'into' guys since I was about 5) coming to the conclusion that I was bisexual, I told one or two people. Now I'm wondering if I'm even bisexual because I've had this girl constantly drop hints at me (and blatantly ask me to have sex with her when she's drunk) and it scares the hell out of me, I'd like to try getting with a girl, but I want it to be someone else, or maybe that's just what I tell myself to keep living my life as a bisexual?

I don't even know any more, it's quite annoying and really drives me crazy. I just want the peace of mind of knowing what I am, you know? Seems like I never will.

 

I identify as bisexual but have only been out with guys since my broken engagement. However, I'm still attracted to women and men. Does it mean I'm functionally gay if I'm not seeing a woman?

 

No, it just means that you aren't seeing a woman.

 

It would be nice if the gay 'bisexual' teens weren't socialised to feel the need to come out as bisexual first, both for their own sakes and the sakes of true bisexuals, but I don't fault you for it.