1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Manners cost nothing ?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gavguy, Jul 14, 2013.

  1. gavguy

    gavguy Guest

    I was wondering how you feel about people and their manners ?
    It seems that more and more people have bad manners these days, manners cost nothing but still you will find more and more people that wouldn't say thank you for things and just take others for granted.
    I always try and be polite and show my appreciation and can't stand others who are rude and think the world evolves around them.
    What do you think ?
     
  2. Jonathan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Illinois
    I've always been one for common courtesy and being polite. I mean, people have enough problems in their lives, they don't need to deal with others being people rude and inconsiderate. I always say please and thank you, hold the door open for others (or go to open it if they seem like they would have trouble), and etc. Some people are polite back and some aren't. Just the other day I held the door open for a middle age couple at a restaurant who were leaving as I was entering. The woman walked through and thanked me, but the man didn't. Instead he opened up the other double door and walked out giving me a dirty look. Common courtesy is really just little things that don't take much effort, so I see no great expense at doing them and possibly making someone's day a little bit nicer/easier.
     
  3. Hexagon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2011
    Messages:
    8,558
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Earth
    Or maybe insisting on strict manners only makes it easier to offend when they aren't respected.
     
  4. Beware Of You

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    1,752
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Dublin, Ireland
    I try to be polite and friendly to everyone I meet.
     
  5. LD579

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    236
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    Actually, sometimes they may cost you... in a way. It could be time, physical effort, mental effort, pride or dignity, self-restraint... If someone doesn't say thank you, it's not the end of the world, but ideally all actions would be verbally recognized. Realistically that just isn't ever likely to be the case, of course. I find manners to be refreshing and pleasant.
     
  6. AlamoCity

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    4,656
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lone Star State
    I think the general loss of manners can be attributed somewhat to the loss of "free time." We live in an era where time is a very valuable commodity and, as such, there is time value of manners which in effect does "cost" something.

    This may be an anecdotal example: I am a collector of Victorian era flatware and this was a period where there were so many implements with which to eat that it would be mind-boggling to the modern person (e.g. "Is this a pastry fork, sald fork, or ice cream fork?") . This era, at least in the upper-middle and upper classes, had an abundance of wealth and relatively abundant time; they had the time and resources necessary to dedicate to learning the "manners" of the day. Today we live in a society with a collective wealth that would eclipse the Victorian Era but we also live in an era where informality is valued because of the fact that it saves time. Slowly, the little details, such as sending "thank you" notes is being replaced with a less formal and more efficient way of conducting out daily lives. Invitations are now sent by text by some and, while highly efficient, lack the gravitas and nature of a paper one sent through the mail. I just hope we don't lose the most basic of manners that elevate us above the Animal Kingdom and makes our daily lives civil and pleasant, all in the name of efficiency, profitability, and time management.

    I apologize if my post did not make sense.
     
  7. leer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2012
    Messages:
    1,785
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    grt Manchester
    I had a normal up bringing I guess taught to respect your eldest and theyshould respect you back and I hope I have continued with that as I grew up. it`s nice to receive a please and thank you .
     
  8. Foxface

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    1,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Urbana, IL
    I was brought up to respect those around me. My manners are wonderful

    Foxface
     
  9. gavguy

    gavguy Guest

    Exactly the same here
     
  10. LinkLarkin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2013
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    I definitely never grew out of saying my P's and Q's... but then I also never really grew out of not speaking unless you're spoken to.

    I always use basic manners and don't understand why someone once made fun of me for ending my sentence with "thank you" when they'd asked how I was...
     
  11. myheartincheck

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2012
    Messages:
    2,461
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    The Golden State with a Golden Gate
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Manners are a dying art. :slight_smile:
     
  12. Wildwings

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    61
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I try to be polite but in some cases it is very hard to be polite to people. Today you get kids swearing all sorts at their parents and people knocking old ladies or men out of the way. Also people don't give a seat anymore to the people who struggle walking on the bus (I do), I was brought up to respect my elders so I try and be polite to all people I meet.
     
  13. AAASAS

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,330
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Toronto Area
    Unfortunately Gavguy you are coming to realization that most people only give a fuck about themselves, and the employment of manners was only once popular because it did get you ahead in the world. Now that manners aren't as important to "get things" people don't give a fuck about how they effect others. I found this out very young, as I noticed peoples behaviour changing around certain individuals that had MORE to offer(Kids were nicer if I had candy, or Pokemon cards they wanted, or Kids were nicer to Adults who had the authority to punish them) I have noticed this in adults as well, people are nicer to their employers or anyone that can get them or are providing them with something. If you don't fall into this category you are worthless and not worthy of the effort to be nice.

    Most people are slightly narcissistic.

    Then there are people like me and you, that are perplexed by someone being rude, because I am assuming like me, you are thinking about other people A HELL of A LOT MORE THAN YOURSELF.

    It is extremely frustrating to care about people in this day, so I try to not let it be a reason for me to be just as rude. I still hold to door for ANYONE, say Please and Thank You, hardly say anything mean to anyone. Though none of this getting returned to me.

    If I became rude, I wouldn't like myself and would be constantly worried about other people; because I would regret being rude.

    I think it is human nature to be rude and only care about yourself and your immediate family and friends.

    There are Highly Sensitive People like me and you though that are some how caught up in other peoples emotions as well. Nothing wrong with it, without us, manners most likely would've never been implemented.

    One example I can give is driving into a left turning lane, especially in richer areas, people tend to cut me off and get to the left lane before me , even if it is a red light, they want to be first despite me being there before them. As well people tend to cut me off just because they want to be ahead, even if they aren't in a rush, or aren't going to drive as fast as me, they still want to be first. This is just a slight example, but I find it is a good indicator of your values, especially if you catch yourself cutting people off to be first, you genuinely are putting your needs ahead of someone in the simplest form. And the fact people care so much about getting ahead even in such a pathetic way; driving, it just goes to show you.
     
    #13 AAASAS, Jul 14, 2013
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2013
  14. Pain

    Pain Guest

    I am usually polite to people, if I've just met them. I don't necessarily do that online. Though, there is no excuse for being impolite with somebody, even if you have a problem. I see that most people just tend to hold themselves in such higher regard than others. It is shameful to treat others uncordially.
     
  15. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Basic courtesy is a key component of good character and the moral life.
     
  16. Dublin Boy

    Dublin Boy Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    1,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Same here & I hate Queue Jumpers :tantrum:
     
  17. gavguy

    gavguy Guest

    So do I, I may be shy but would tell them about it, GET TO THE BACK YOU "bleep bleep" idiot