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Being aggressively out..

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by enigmeow, Jul 14, 2013.

  1. enigmeow

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    Some mornings I just want to wake and put on a "I am gay.." T-shirt...

    If you look at the animal kingdom, it is very important for animals to "display" and "advertise" their sexuality. There are times I wonder if the same genetic code is effecting me in my desire to "advertise" my sexallity

    Is this one of the things that drives the craziness at pride? Screaming out of the closet?

    Anyhow,
     
  2. LinkLarkin

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    I feel the same way at the moment. I think it's just something we go through until our sexuality settles down and becomes just another part of my life. Until I came out that was exactly how I viewed my sexuality. I look forward to the day when I feel like that again, but for now I have so much repressed sexual tension from the last few years that I just want to scream my homosexuality from the roof tops, and I am definitely going to start going to as many pride events as possible. I don't think it's a negative thing, just part of coming to terms with your identity.
     
  3. 461 467

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    I don't agree. I find the sort of people that feel the need to make you extremely aware that they are gay to be quite irritating. You shouldn't have to hide your sexuality, but you don't need to be obnoxious about it, either.
     
  4. RainbowMan

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    So how's this? I was in the subway yesterday, and saw a cute guy. He had a rainbow button on his backpack and it looked like he had a rainbow umbrella (which might be a LITTLE over the top...no pun intended). I didn't talk to him, but do you consider that being "aggressively" out? To me, it was very subtle, and if people weren't gay, they probably wouldn't even know.
     
  5. AKTodd

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    How are you defining 'extremely aware'? How are you defining 'being obnoxious'? For that matter, how is the OP defining 'aggressively out'?

    I ask, because from what I've seen on EC, different people have different definitions of things in this area. So, how are folks defining these terms in this context?

    Todd
     
  6. gravechild

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    Some people make it a priority to reveal their orientation to every new person they meet, others will show it by attending events, wearing specific clothing, or with mannerisms and conversation topics. Others live and breathe gay pride 24/7, to the point of annoying others.

    For me, these are aggressive, but for someone else, maybe not. I consider sexuality a more private topic, reserved for those closest to me, but I'm not hiding by any means. It's no more important or defining than my religious upbringing, ethnicity, or political views.
     
  7. George

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    I think any visible displays of pride (outside of parades and such) should be reserved for helping gays identify one another. Wearing a simple rainbow bracelet will accomplish this just fine. Wearing a shirt that says "I'm Gay!" is being way too vocal about it. If one lives in an area with a lot of intolerant people there is even the risk of being a victim of a hate crime. It's better to find a more subtle and neutral method where most people will pay no notice, but fellow LGBT'ers will easily spot you.
     
  8. Ticklish Fish

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    what you mean conversation topics?
     
  9. john1b1

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    I wear a rainbow bracelet to keep people from guessing, but I find that my mannerisms tend to be enough to tip people off anyways. But when I travel inland where all the hicks are, I take off my bracelet, put my wrist in a brace, and make a point of enunciating all my words very clearly. So I think it just depends where you are.
     
  10. sagebrush

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    I guess it depends on the person's intentions. Is the display meant to be attention-seeking, or merely signaling being a member of a community? Like almost anything else, it can be a continuum from subtle to obnoxious.

    Seeing buttons, hats, t-shirts, stickers, etc. "out in the wild" makes me smile — it's like a friendly face in a crowd...
     
  11. Pret Allez

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    I don't think we need to be aggressively out, though I understand the temptation.

    I prefer to be subtly out, as in wearing a bracelet or something.

    Ziester Adrian
     
  12. gravechild

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    It means gay-related topics will come up in conversations.
     
  13. jabberwocky

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    I agree. Your sexual orientation really shouldn't affect at all how well you get to know a person or their opinion of you. But at the same time, I disclose it to my closest friends because they deserve to know. It's for a different reason though.
     
  14. Envira

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    I have to say, some mornings I want to get up and have the whole world know I like girls. And I don't necessarily want them to agree or even love me or accept me, because I know that lots of people won't, but I just want everyone to know. And maybe that's just because being in the closet is painful for me and coming out is really stressful (at least, I find it to be), but I feel like putting on a rainbow t-shit with the words "I'm gay" on it, and going to all the pride parades and shit. I want to be someone who's proud, but how can I be, at least, for now?
     
  15. AKTodd

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    Hmm. So basically one persons normal is another's aggressive. Personally, I have an HRC sticker on my car, talk to my coworkers and friends about my life with my partner, and will pretty readily tell someone I'm gay if they ask or the situation warrants it IMO, whether that is getting to know them or talking to a physician or whatever. Often I will talk about my partner as a way of coming out to people.

    So I'm apparently either aggressive or not depending on who you ask. How...interesting.

    Todd :grin:
     
  16. AAASAS

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    I have never been excited to advertise my sexuality, and wish that it wasn't something that was important enough to even designate advertising for it.

    Though I live in a fairly liberal area, so I really don't feel repressed as much as others, so that may be why I have no desire to do so.

    The desire seems to come from years of repression and just wishing for the day you can be yourself.
     
  17. vhrebels

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    Most people typically think I'm straight, but some of my close friends know about my orrentation. I'm not very vocal about being gay, but I think it's definitely better for someone to be proud of who they are and vocal about it than repressing those feelings and hating themselves.
     
  18. gravechild

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    *shrugs* Everyone and their situation is different, but I've noticed most of the EC staff share your position, and I would think they'd also hope everyone to reach that point, someday, too.

    I've always been low-key, and whether or not this is due to personality, cultural influences, or past experiences, I couldn't say. Many Americans I find are too quick to self-disclose personal information, in my opinion, to complete strangers. Then again, I disagree with many mainstream American cultural norms.

    I'd assume you were either an open person in general, with sexuality being one of the many topics floating around, or just very proud... maybe both.
     
  19. NEWFrontiers22

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  20. Boyfriend

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    Gay also has the original meaning... so it´s a fun T.shirt.

    I don´t mind rainbow attributes either, even if it is screaming. I just see it as colorful.

    I don´t mind if people show they are gay in that way. Nor if they say, "Hi I´m Sam, I´m gay".

    My boyfriend is very stereotype fem. He doesn´t need to advertise otherwise, it´s clear. And he is such a bubbly person, he hardly gets any nasty comments.

    I think that is just it. If you are a bubbly person, almost nothing is seen as annoying.

    If you come across as well, moody or "dark" just about anything will be seen as "agressive".

    Some people complicate situations by wanting to make everybody understand their issues.

    "I am gay" is cool. But don´t start on your lack of rights, respect, gay marriage ad all your personal shit with just about everyone. They can´t change the situation. Talk to your friends to vent or talk to politicians who can (try to) change stuff.