I had one boss that was openly gay. He was the shit. I miss him so much. He was the coolest boss I've ever had.
I have to say, I know it can be annoying when people are like "I love gay people!", but there might be some truth to it, the best people are people who are completely honest, not just with themselves, but with everyone around that. Openly gay people are being very honest and open about being gay (no duh), so idk...
There were two openly gay kids at my school. 1) Butch female lesbian that wore a rainbow cape to school on a regular basis, as well as a t-shirt that said "Duck Duck Queer" 2) Gay flamboyant vulgar male who wore make-up and enjoyed making uncomfortable sexual remarks towards guys; I am surprised he didn't get his ass kicked not for being gay but for telling people he was going to "eat" their foreskin. Now the fact I am still in the closet with my friends who attended my highschool is no mystery, they didn't have to best exposure to gay people, all the know of them is basically those two and whatever freak ends up in the media.(Adam Lambert, Ru Paul, The Brittany Spears Crying Guy) No wonder I feel so disconnected from gay people.
Sorry if anyone I mentioned is your role model, but as a regular homosexual I find it extremely annoying that these are the only types of people that heavily represent myself in the media. People unfortunately get a lot of their paradigms from the media, which makes it a lot harder for people who do not fit those stereotypes. All those people have the right to be themselves, I just don't enjoy them being ambassadors to a community I am supposed to be a part of, especially when I have absolutely nothing in common with them. I am sure a lot of Muslims aren't happy that terrorists heavily represent them in the Media, when it really has nothing to do with them. Same goes for Black people being represented as money hungry violent misogynists with Pop music. I don't like being represented by super flamboyant people that are sure to make others uncomfortable.
Define regular, because that's getting into sketchy waters. Everyone can act the way they want, whether that's conceived as flamboyant or not. None of them are my idols. I just found it interesting that you listed them. How about Anderson Cooper, Ellen Degeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, and waaaaaay more? There are role models out there for many, and some of them are more mild than others, like the ones I listed.
Anderson Cooper didn't come out till later(and he is a media whore..sorry), Neil Patrick Harris is a fucking joke in my books(the bro code I mean can you be more afraid of being imasculated and I really don't like his acting or the fact he was a misogynist for so long). Ellen is a female, and she cannot represent me. I have yet to hear of a gay person that is famous, whom I can identify with. Most people don't know about the people you mentioned and they certainly don't make it too public, or advocate for anything. The only people that are out there saying I am gay and proud, are flamboyant people. Which again is fine, it just creates more stereotypes that I would have to break. My boyfriend's Mom's boyfriend asked me if I liked musicals, I fucking hate musicals, I was only asked because I am gay. His sister seemed surprised when she found out I played hockey. Again most likely because I am gay. I have yet to be out to more people, but I have found people make assumptions, which is fine, it is just annoying that I would surprise someone. I feel like everyone I meet that knows I am gay is making assumptions about me based on the media. So sorry for being disgruntled. I am in the closet and have never been asked if I liked musicals before, or never got a surprised reaction that I like and play hockey, only when people know I am gay. This shows stereotypes are auto thrown on. I think his family was surprised to hear that I work a labourous job that requires heavy lifting. I basically am covered in sweat and dust and dirt for 8 hours a day, and I smell like shit by the end of it, my toes are fucked from wearing work boots, but hey since I am gay it is weird that I do that. There was a gay kid at work, who was asked stereotypical questions all the time. They even asked him to name Hillary Duff songs based on the pretense he is gay. Though he could name them, I couldn't and would be offended if someone asked me that; it would be hard not to stomp them. I also honestly shouldn't have said normal, I should have said gender typical. Normal sort of alludes that every other way is bad. Sorry about that, shouldn't have used those words. The OP I think finds it annoying there aren't more gay people to identify with, and I was just sharing the experience with him. I love everyone and don't give a shit if you are flamboyant, I just don't enjoy having those traits passed on to me. My disgruntled feelings are more with the stereotypers more so than the people who are stereotypical, because I do want everyone to be themselves, anddon't think people should repress any part of their personality if it isn't harmful.
No, I completely understand. One thing to note, though, is that Neil Patrick Harris =/= Barney Stinson. I'm sure there are others out there who are less flamboyant and are guys, but they might not just be as visible. And thank you for clarifying =)
Anyone who chooses to generalize the essence of a group of people based the actions of a few are simply not worth the time. I could care less what people assume of me as an ethnic minority. Though I find it interesting that you chose reference terrorists and degenerates. People don't shout in uproar at generalizations. They only truly anger at ones they believe exhibit more "negative" qualities. Maybe your peers weren't the only ones who were effected by "negative exposure"?
^ Yea wasn't ragging on flamers at all. I think a lot of flamboyant people to be very energetic positive people and enjoy their company, even if they're not gay. I just don't like NPH, I hate How I met Your Mother, that show is ultimate pandering to the masses the jokes are horrible, and his tag line "Suit Up" makes me cringe it is so fucking lame. I hated him in Harold and Kumar because he was so closeted. And the fact he wrote a book called " The Bro Code" I mean that is the fucking gayest(in the other sense) thing I have ever heard. Like so incredibly lame I can't even describe it in words. The whole dude, bro, man culture is so fucking ridiculous anyone that adds to it is a moron in my books. There is not such thing as a "Code" for being a guy, and the notion of it is nauseating
Actually, he was fooling around in Harold and Kumar. It was a lame joke when they put him in there. He's openly gay. Also, he didn't write that book. "Barney Stinson" did. Obviously, Barney Stinson is fictional, and so someone else actually wrote it. The whole "dude, bro, man culture" is kind of a lame "we're all guys here" culture thing. It's a tremulous connection, basically, that some cling to. I wouldn't get so heated up over such a small thing.
Buddy I live in a very Islamic area; or near one. Went to school with a lot of Muslims, and they were pissed that everyone generalizes them. I wasn't saying I did, I was saying they are heavily represented by extremist groups in the media, therefore people assume bad things about them. You can't argue with me on that I have heard some fucking racist shit about Muslims before, and a lot of uneducated white people assume they all have some "terrorist" in them. I don't get your degenerate comment either. People are biased towards both groups, you can't argue that, and the people that hold the biases shouldn't be written off as morons, a lot are underexposed and just don't know the truth. I have set quiet a few people straight at my work on the concept of muslims because they honestly thought that Iraq and Afghanistan and other Muslim sstates are full of Al Queda members. Which isn't the truth, after letting them know that actually Canada and the U.S.A are the horrible ones who killed innocent civilians over there, and they have every right to be mad at us, their opinions changed. They were uneducated on the subject, after letting them know what we have done to them, they know understand and even admitted to having animosity towards our militaries because of this. They also couldn't believe that we killed so many innocent people over there that had nothing to do with it. It takes setting people straight. I work with a Muslim that has problems getting into America based on that fact. Look up Brampton Ontario, you are from California, I am from an area that has had ACTUAL terrorist and Al Queda related members live. As well there are a lot of Sikh and Hindu's that have nothing to do with that shit and get thrown in because they "look" the same.
I never argued that people don't generalize. I said that people who choose to generalize over the actions of the few are not worth the time. Name one group of people that is not portrayed incorrectly by the media to some degree. RuPaul and Adam Lambert are not my idols either, but perfectly fine people no less. I don't have to be just like them to see that. People haven't become successful in their music to assure that each of us have been painted in the proper image for the public. If people are going to generalize you because of your orientation, gender, or race, I fail to see why you would even want to be their friend anyway. I tire of hearing complaints about how other homosexuals are sick of feminine men and masculine women being portrayed in the media. Being open as an LGBTQ has never been an option for the exclusive. If everyone wants masculine male and feminine female role models in the media or gay community, become them yourselves. I don't see what use complaining to them about being themselves will do.
