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How long did you know...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by drwinchester, Jul 18, 2013.

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  1. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    ...before you started coming out to people? In regards to sexuality/gender identity, for the most part (going by accounts I've read) it seems as if there's a delay of a year or more between the intial realization/self acceptance and coming out to friends/family/etc.

    I myself have known I was bisexual for about four years, transgender for a few months. Realizing I was bisexual, it was honestly only a month or so after initially realizing it that I began to out myself to friends. Transgender- same thing. A few friends knew I'd been grappling with my gender so within maybe two months of identifying as male, they were the first to know.

    So how about y'all?
     
    #1 drwinchester, Jul 18, 2013
  2. Mlpguy88

    Mlpguy88
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    I knew when I was 12, I managed to deny it to myself until I was 20. And I've come out to one friend several months ago
     
    #2 Mlpguy88, Jul 18, 2013
  3. Islander

    Islander
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    Well, it's been 7 years since I first started questioning, and about 6 weeks since I came out to the school counsellor. Unfortunately I have been unable to brave any friends/family yet.
     
    #3 Islander, Jul 18, 2013
  4. Sarcastic Luck

    Sarcastic Luck
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    I was the same with me being transgender. Though, with me, I've been very selective with those I tell. The majority don't know, however.
     
    #4 Sarcastic Luck, Jul 18, 2013
  5. channelorange

    channelorange Guest

    I think I've always known something was off. I always attracted many guys but I never felt anything for them more than just close friendships and was never attracted to them, being around pretty girls always made me nervous inside. I just hadn't realized what it really was until my sophomore year of high school. It took me about a year and a half to start coming out after that.
     
    #5 channelorange, Jul 18, 2013
  6. fluffyhandcuff

    fluffyhandcuff
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    I've known for about a year now so when I was 16 but came out to a friend of mine only 2 months ago or so. Now I still need to find the courage to tell everyone else...
     
    #6 fluffyhandcuff, Jul 18, 2013
  7. LinkLarkin

    LinkLarkin
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    It's difficult to pinpoint exactly, but I think I started to question when I was 15/16 (although it should have been obvious way before that...) then pretty much accepted it by the time I was 17/18 but carried on occasionally trying to convince myself that I was bi for a while, so I clearly wasn't emotionally ready to come out. I felt completely ready when I was 19 but couldn't find the right time until a couple of months after my 20th birthday, when I told some friends. But yeah, I'll probably be closer to 21 when I tell my parents.
     
    #7 LinkLarkin, Jul 18, 2013
  8. George

    George
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    I've known since I was 13 but I was in massive denial (cognitive dissonance) even to myself. It wasn't until two months ago that I finally acknowledged it. After doing that suddenly my entire life made sense to me. Everything fit into this cohesive framework, whereas before I had like 100 different pieces of evidence that seemed completely unrelated. So once I had that moment of enlightenment, it only took two weeks for me to come out to my closest friends, and another two weeks to come out to my parents.
     
    #8 George, Jul 18, 2013
  9. Randy

    Randy
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    I've had a suspicion since 5th grade, denied and questioned throughout high school. Joined here and yea...
     
    #9 Randy, Jul 18, 2013
  10. Caliber

    Caliber
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    G.....hmmmmmm....i think i was about 11 when i started questioning but it wasnt till last year that i was like...crap..
     
    #10 Caliber, Jul 18, 2013
  11. BryanM

    BryanM
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    I knew for a good three years before I told anyone in person.
     
    #11 BryanM, Jul 18, 2013
  12. Oddish

    Oddish Guest

    I started questioning my gender back in December, after I came out as a lesbian to my friends and family [and I speculated that for years.. figuring I was bisexual earlier on and then pondering whether or not I was gay.]

    My gender feelings subsided, I remember I joined this site when I still ID'd as a gay female, but I still had the inner-conflict thing going on and it grew substantially worse, where I knew there was something I needed to come to terms with. I did more research, eventually started therapy with a gender therapist in February, and realised that I was trans*. I later came out to my best friend, family, and others around March/April.

    Though, I've always had some transgender thoughts even back when I was 10/11 years old but I "grew out of it." The questioning part only came back recently, since I was so preoccupied with my sexuality. I didn't care all that much about my gender and rolled through my teenage years as a masculine female, figured that I was content, until I speculated it more.
     
    #12 Oddish, Jul 18, 2013
  13. john1b1

    john1b1 Guest

    I knew I was gay for as long as I had attraction to anyone, but I didn't really understand until maybe a couple years ago. I mean, I remember being interested in gay porn from a young age, but for some reason it never occurred to me until high school that I was gay. Not sure how I missed that.
     
    #13 john1b1, Jul 18, 2013
  14. PurpleRain

    PurpleRain
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    Uhm... I think about two months is when I came out to the people that I told. Since then I've been afraid to tell anyone else... So I joined EC hoping it would help me with that and it has (though I still haven't come out...) and I'm thankful for all the people I've met here. I've made lots of really awesome friends. :grin:
     
    #14 PurpleRain, Jul 18, 2013
  15. The_Poets

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    I made the connection that i am gay last November. I came out once a few weeks ago
     
    #15 The_Poets, Jul 18, 2013
  16. Zannan

    Zannan
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    Location:
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    A few people
    I started coming out as bi (people understand it more) years after I knew. And same is happening for trans* (I absolutely want to be sure)
     
    #16 Zannan, Jul 18, 2013
  17. Martjain

    Martjain
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    I knew since I can remember that I was liked boys and some girls, but it was not until say 13 or 14 yo that I could put my finger on it. At age 15 I came out as bi :slight_smile:
     
    #17 Martjain, Jul 18, 2013
  18. kylo

    kylo
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    I knew it since I was like 10, but I didn't fully admit it and be okay with it til I was around 15.
     
    #18 kylo, Jul 18, 2013
  19. animequeen567

    animequeen567
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    I've known since I was in middle school. It took me 7 years to come out.
     
    #19 animequeen567, Jul 18, 2013
  20. coreyl13

    coreyl13
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    I remember being in elementary liking boys. Its always has been that way but I've only just recently came out BEST DECITION EVER!!!!
     
    #20 coreyl13, Jul 18, 2013
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