This is a serious question and I'm not trying to justify anything, so please say what you think. Last weekend I was up at my aunt's place in the mountains, and they had a house guest who was a retired Royal Navy officer. He was in WW2 so he is like really old - I think he said he was 85 or older. He treated me like I was six or something, and he would just talk loudly over me when I was trying to say something. At the dinner table, he started going on about the 'savages' we are fighting in Iraq, and he seemed a bit offended when, another time, I said I didn't think colonialism was a good thing. He is a bit deaf so he sort of shouts at you when he is talking. Then he was saying what a good idea it would be to introduce ID cards in the UK, and he thinks detention without trial is a good thing coz it will catch anyone who even possibly might be a terrorist, and too bad if just a few innocent people suffer. So I told him that what we were doing in Iraq was illegal, and stuff like that, and that human rights were for everyone. My cousin who's nearly 18, agreed with me. And then he got mad and started saying stuff like when he wanted advice from a child he would go to the local kindergarten, and other stuff about when I stopped playing with myself, I might be able to see the real world. And he also went on about how kids didn't respect anyone these days, even those who had fought for their freedom. So I sort of told him I thought he was a bigoted old man, (but I never used that exact term, or any bad language) and then both me and my cousin were asked to leave the table and we had our pudding in his room. My aunt said later she did not agree with him, but I should have just kept quiet out of respect for his years. Like OK I know I'm 13 and he's like 72 years older tha me, but he sort of said I didn't know what was real coz I was wanking all the time - right in front of my aunt! :eek: So was I wrong to correct him in that way?
You have as much right to your opinion as he has to his. It is difficult when other family members don't dare to disagree with an older family member. They probably know from experience that it's not worth the effort! You have to decide whether to make your opinion known, or go along with the crowd. Neither will change his opinion, obviously. If it was me I would argue my position too. However of course I would be seen as an adult by him, whereas he sees you as a kid. So he might take someone my age a bit more seriously. So overall I would say you were right to express your opinion. But whether it was worth the bother is another matter.
Thanks for that advice. But I'm not a kid any longer, am I? And he should know that. Maybe my aunt is right, but I didn't mean any disrespect to him, I just don't agree with what he says, and my cousin who's loads older than me didn't either. But we are both in the bad books now.
You're a teenager. Not a kid, but not yet an adult either. In the eyes of someone in his 80s though, you probably would still be seen as a kid (on the basis that you are still at school, if nothing else). When he was younger, "children were seen but not heard". Things are different now (thank goodness) but he will still think of things the old way. He will think you are a cheeky kid with no respect for his elders. It sounds like he doesn't deserve your respect. Other family members may respect him on the basis of his advanced years only, but it takes more than that. Yes, he has a lifetime of experience to form his opinions on, whereas you have considerably less years experience. But you are still as entitled to your views as he is. You both just have to accept that you will not agree on some things, and agree to disagree. Ideally you should listen to each other's views and the reasons for them, so you can each understand where the other is coming from. Are you likely to see him again any time soon? If not then who cares if you are in his bad books!
NO!!!! Your were not wrong, but your approach was...remember, he is OLD SCHOOL..and like cement, SET IN HIS WAYS...There is no sence in batting your head against a stone wall..Just remember, some day you to will be 82 or so, and you will more than likely get the same feelings. I'm 17, my father is 42, my grand father is 66 and my greatgrand father is 102, and simetimes I feel like I want to just bury my head in the hay and say to heck with it..Hardly ever do they all agree on any thing at the same time, and they say things to one and other they do not mean..All were too young to be in the militery for war service in their era, but yet they all have something to say to me and my brothers that we are idiots and don't know a damn thing about what life is about. My older brother, who dose not live with us, got so mad an grampa one time, he told him to#$^*(%#$#. World War III almost started.. My younger brother and I just get the heck out of there. Since then, we all keep quiet when the ELDERS are around..no use arguing. Hope you are two still on good terms.(*hug*) (*hug*)
best thing to do sence he is old... show face... he doesnt have asmany years as you do so when you are around him just let him be right... talk shit about him all you want when you are away from him... or well quietly so he wont be able 2 hear you even if you are in front of him lol you wernt in the wrong sence it was an opinion but neither was he because it was his... yes it was bad what he said aboutt you but then again he is older and no matter how messed up his views may seem to you until he gets to the point where you get put as his uh... "legal guardian" (whatever its called for oldies) then you gotta just put up with it
Well personally, I don't think it matters how old anyone is. He doesn't know your standing on certain positions. Who is he to tell you that you're disrespectful to the elders like "other kids"?? I mean, You don't say that to anyone, even if you are 85-years-old! He was rather disrespectful himself. Old or young, male or female, gay or straight, I think everyone needs to learn to notice certain images and let them go. How does he know "all" kids "have no respect these days?" Why would he equate a young generation's ideas to a toddler in a kindergarten class? Without you hinting at him, he already created these images of the background of your ideas and furthermore, who you are! That's wrong! Again, it doesn't matter if he's young or old. I mean, maybe he had a bad experience with other youth people? Or, maybe he just doesn't like kids? Anyways, he was disrespectful. I just don't know what else there is to say about him. But then again, I would ask this: Are older people, because of their biologically old-age state, indeed more inclined to having a difficult time accepting other ideas than their own? Because if so, it might not have been his fault, however wrong his ideas might have been. I can understand where your aunt was coming from, though. Even though she supports the idea that even as an elder he's not always right, she might have felt a sense of embarassment. Sometimes, it's just hard to hear verbally disagreement with an elder, even if the elder is indeed wrong. I mean, I am seriously appalled at the man's attitude, but I'm not surprised at why she did what she did, although I can bet she would have seen a little more of your side too had she had a little more time to think before acting.
Agreed. Ohhh, i wish you had. Respect is EARNED, not just given because you've been alived for three quaters of a century. You could be alive 50 years and learn half as much as someone who just happens to be 20. HA! Who's freedom did he fight for? Certainly not ours. We had no freedom then, we homosexuals barely have it now and we defintely didn't have it during WWII. He fought for the freedom of the people and ideas that are social norms...thats nowere near respectable. In fact soldiers of all types, unless they are official peacekeepers, digust me beyond explanation. And although it is narrow minded (hey everyone has one flaw) it is something you will never convince me to believe otherwise.
