Alright, am I the only one who feels like this? Last night I was at a gay nightclub and it seemed like all the dudes there were just waiting to be approached. They would hang out with their friends and even dance alone but for the most part nobody was really talking outside their group. I think it just bugged me more than anything. Do most gay guys expect somebody to come up and talk to them? Are the majority of them submissive (Like a top/bottom sort of thing) or is this just a social aspect of our culture? Me personally, I kind of like a chase. But I don't necessarily feel like it's a balanced out system from my experience last night.
was this your first time at a club? people don't walk around tapping everyone on the shoulder and make friends with every man/woman they see passing by. a lot of people go with their friends and stick by their friends. people still approach others, don't get me wrong, but if you think a nightclub is where everyone walks around introducing themselves - you're wrong.
It was my second time. No I don't expect it to be a big social circle, but isn't the point of a club to have fun with friends and meet people? I would assume most of the people were single and are going to actually be around other gay people. I was speaking more to the mentality itself, not necessarily the social aspect. Because in regular clubs men approach women all the time.
It's bloody hard to come up to a stranger and introduce yourself, a very vulnerable position to be in. I've never done that, not sure I ever will, but it is the most basic preliminary step to meeting people in a club (so public though...)
It's lack of vulnerability. People don't go up and approach everyone because they're afraid of being rejected. In gay clubs in particular, this is a big problem. In straight clubs, a lot of (usually obnoxious) guys will go up and hit on any girl they find attractive, but since that's more socially accepted, there's less vulnerability involved. Honestly, though, you would probably be miserable in a club where everyone *does* go up and hit on everyone else. It can get really obnoxious, and usually, without fail, the ones who are most aggressive are also the biggest jerks, and can be really annoying when they refuse to take no as an answer.
Well then people can't complain that they can't find anyone when they don't throw themselves out there in the first place, gay or straight. This is what bothers me the most.
