This is a bit of a sleepy, nonsensical rant. Since coming out and discussing my plans, hopes, and concerns with close friends, one phrase has popped up more than anything else: be careful. Usually after mentioning dating or socializing, I never even heard the words when assuming a straight identity and mentioning pursuing women. If anything, I was warned to treat the other person right and not step out of line, but for the most part, no one blinked an eye. I understand it's usually said out of concern, since men are perceived as more dangerous, and the risk level is probably higher, especially when involving sexual encounters with gay and bisexual men. Since it's usually straight women saying it, I'm going to assume it's also said from a place of relative experience. For reasons I can't entirely explain, though, it's really started to annoy, frustrate, and in rare cases, anger me. It's gotten to the point where I can expect it from every conversation the topic is brought up, and for this reason, I don't mention is as often. There's a lot of ignorance when it comes to these things from heterosexuals in my life, in general. It would be a nice change of pace if I could discuss these topics openly without constantly being warned, like some clueless child. Yes, probably a non-issue in the greater scheme of things, but fascinating how much of a double standard there is. A part of me wonders if these fears are at least partly based from the ideas that gay men are diseased, perverted creeps. Though, it's common sense that the best people to discuss LGBT issues with might just be fellow LGBT. I don't have much of a circle, and this is another incentive to change that. It's too easy to feel isolated.
Yeah I've had this happen to me as well. My mom's afraid that I'm going to get beat up by some hater, dad's worried that I'm gonna get AIDS, etc. Most likely, people only mean well when they warn you, but what they don't realize is that it makes you feel stupid. Oh, you know I WAS going to whore myself out tonight and let random men buy me drinks but now that you told me to be careful, I'm giving that some more thought lol I hate it when I react to warnings like that by saying "I know, I'm not stupid" and then the advice-giver gets all offended. "Well, I'm just looking out for you". Translation: "you're young and inexperienced, so I thought you needed to be schooled". It's really annoying.
One friend definitely warned me about drinks getting spiked in gay bars. I don't think it's worth getting annoyed about though, just be glad that these friends are looking out for you (whether or not they're being ignorant about it) instead of making homophobic comments.
It's understandable - a lot of my friends are older, and I'm young enough to be their son, combined with the fact that I'm coming from a place of inexperience. I could do without the occasional "gay sex is dangerous" and "all men are predatory" comments, though.
I've heard horror stories from folk but I've been fortune enough not to encounter anything bad happening. I've spoke to folk online then met up with them, drove miles to see some of them and still came back alive. It is a good idea to let someone know if you are meeting someone online, but I suppose that advice goes the same for straight people too.
I can definitely see why that would be annoying. :/ it sounds very stereotypical and I know it's good to be aware of these things - but you should be just as aware as myself or as a straight man or a straight woman or any other sexual orientation.
