gay men are shallow....

I wouldn't really mind someone who's overweight. I would really not care for someone who's morbidly obese.
Yes, I find myself to be shallow to an extent. I tend to look at a man and then determine if I would date him solely if they have washboard abs or not. I'm trying to work on this and it's beginning to not be a criterion to be considered.
I kind of feel its hard for the gay community to find a relationship.
Yes, honestly, I to find other gay men to be shallow.

In order: Personality, Looks, Occupation, Build.

 

1. I would date someone who was overweight or anything, it's fine, it's the companionship that I really long for.

2. Of course, at times, we all have times where we are shallow. I try to counter that by being more empathetic to other people. But I can been deep... and one day... be deep... throating.

3. I haven't had experience with a gay community yet. But I'd love to one day when I'm at university.

4. Some are shallow some aren't I guess. I don't really know if someone is shallow or deep before I know them well. And I don't know many gay people that well.

Looks:
People who have beautiful eyes, no need for a specific colour, etc... it's just something about an intense gaze that I like. I like eyes that portray intensity, desire, a story to tell etc...

Build:
Of course I'd dream for perfection like abs and whatever. But any average build is fine.

Personality:
Sweet. I like sweet. And protective, more dominant than me I guess. Generally anyone who loves and can understand me.

Occupation:
No preference yet, I'm still in school.

 

Yes, I would date a man that is overweight, if he had a positive attitude.
I am absolutely not shallow.
I had no problems, I wasn´t even looking, so I can´t answer that.
There must be shallow gay people, because you find shallow people everywhere.

I like a latino (I have one) but I have no defintion for the "perfect guy".
I like sturdy, but my boy is a twink.
I like a calm, steady, optimistic macho guy, my boy is a bubbly fem.
I don´t care about their ocupation, as long as they are happy with it and don´t bring their frustration home. My boy was a model, but he won´t be working anymore I think, since he is disabled.

But it just shows that you can look for something, but it doesn´t means you´ll come home with that.....
In the end, you need to see them in real life and it wil click, or not.

 

I dont judge someone by their weight, but if a person has a feature I find unattractive, I'm not going to force myself to have sex with them.

 

That's the problem these days most people will judge someone on their looks and not personality, I always go by the persons personality because it's that what counts, the feelings and love come from the heart and not from the exterior.

 

I agree with this. I think too commonly people are judged based on their looks, often before their personality is given a chance. However, even if I am compatible with someones personality, I will likely not continue to date them if I am not physically attracted to them for whatever reason.

I think everyone has features they don't find physically attractive, and to wait for the absolutely perfect person, and/or continue to date someone who is an ass because they look good is shallow in my opinion. But I do not think it is shallow to stop dating someone if attraction is not there. Just my opinion.

 

Yes, I would.
No, I don't.
I haven't tried.
Some are, some aren't.
I look for compatible interests and values in a potential partner.

 

Like others have said, I would be very put off by an obese person, but in all honesty I prefer a bit of chub to an OTT sixpack. I prefer to date real guys, basically.
I'm definitely capable of being shallow, and I hate myself for it, but I think in many ways it's human instinct. Looks are what make the first impression on us, and that often gives an early indication of our sexual attraction to a person. That said, I have certainly experienced secondary sexual attraction where I've developed feelings for somebody based on their personality once I've got to know them, so I must be becoming less shallow with age. Or possibly with experience as a member of the LGBTQ community, who have taught me an awful lot about what it means to be a good person.
I think it's extremely difficult to find a LTR in the gay community and I am extremely envious of anybody who finds a good one. That said, I can't speak from personal experience because I haven't started looking yet. Maybe I'll be able to get back to you in a few months.
I think it's a bit unfair to say gay men are shallow. I think it's pretty appropriate to say men are shallow full stop. Straight men judge women by their looks just as much. But that's still an overgeneralisation; within the gay and straight communities you'll find those who are shallow and those who aren't. You just need a bit of common sense about where to look, combined with a lot of raw luck.

 

men are shallow
id date pretty much anyone if they were nice tho

 

I value personality too much in a potential relationship.

That being said, I've noticed a trend in my town where attractive people are generally more friendly and open to personality while unattractive people are assholes who openly say that they'll only date you if you're hot.

Funny.

 

Dating sites in general are shallow. Go on any other one and you'd see the same pattern - it's not exclusive to gay guys.

 

I was just about to say exactly the same thing! It's really not just gay men. It's the whole online dating concept.
Dating sites are like flesh markets. It's shopping for something that looks good and hoping they have a nice personality. You can't see personality based on a photo or a short discription of themselves.

 

Yes I would date someone who is overweight, just as long as they aren't overweight to the point where they run out of breath by walking up the stairs.
I am not shallow at all. Honestly I really am not shallow at all.
I am not out, nor do I even know anyone in the gay community but I am searching and yes I am finding it extremely hard to meet people around my age to hang out with and just talk to.
I just find some people in general shallow, not just "gay men"... Anyone can be shallow.

In a man, I look for someone who is honest, someone who is an average size build (being slightly on the end of either spectrum doesn't really bother me). Someone who has a personality I can engage/connect with. Everything else varies depending on different things.

 

According to my experience, both on real life and on EC, I dont think gay men are more or less shallow than anyone else. You can be shallow for other things that arent looks, such as money or a stable job. Maybe you are not looking to the right websites. If a dating website has a profile page which consists of shirtless guys, you can bet its only for hookups. And you dont need to know someones personality in order to have sex with them. I obviously think some people are attractive and some are not, but there have been unnatractive people with whom I managed to click with so intimately that I would love to date them. Ex: one of my best friends.

 

Well im overweight but im an athlete in football and in marching band. It's funny im not that fat at 15, even if im 258 i'm also 6"2 and eat right and try to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I need to work on my upper body though, my legs are as strong as a horse and my back is strong, but i cant bench press 185

Yes, to an extent, even though i look for honesty and compassion, but if i date someone like my size that'd be fine, but if it's like a guy who's a 400 pound animal, maybe because it shows me that it's a lack of respect for their body, but i know you can't control your weight as it's mainly genes that determine it and it's passed down. But if i indeed find a man who's obese, i will care so much about him, p.s. I'm Clingy and attachy but dump me and i have no feelings for you

---------- Post added 23rd Jul 2013 at 09:33 PM ----------

I don't have a problem with big people for i am one, but like everyone else i can loook through the weight factor and see his personality and truth

 

One of the (many) positive benefits of EC is that people's personalities take center stage. We get to know one another by reading each other's thoughts, stories, questions, etc., rather than focusing primarily on a snapshot. It feels much less shallow and more authentic. Maybe some of those dating sites/apps could learn a lesson or two from us, yes? :icon_wink

 

I've actually noticed that too.. It seems most gay/bi guys are just interested in how you look and sex, not in a long-term relationship, which sucks D: Plus, it seems like they're all into the hookup culture, which I hate :/. Though, straight people are also becoming this way. But there are a lot of great gay/bi guys out there so we just have to keep waiting!

 

Gosh...honestly, I probably wouldn't. A few extra pounds is one thing, but weight is an issue for me. However, there are always, always, always exceptions.

With guys? Yeah, I guess I'm pretty shallow. Or, I'm critical. That's a better way to put it. Not with anyone else.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Hard? That's an understatement. It's super difficult.

For sure, or "no fats and fems" wouldn't exist. Again, not all..just a huge chunk.

I really look for an attractive guy (not one set of feelings there).
I prefer average build guys, I do like muscle....it's just not a big requirement.
He has to be smart, sweet....respectful, caring, etc. I would prefer him to be a bit more masculine to kind of counteract by feminine side, but I won't say no if something great comes up.

Occupation? Ehh....it's not really that important right now, unless he's a hooker.