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Being gay a choice?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Latinokid, May 8, 2008.

  1. Latinokid

    Latinokid Guest

    Hey guys I went to a Social Well Being Club yesterday in my school and the topic was sexuality. And a lot of the people their were saying sexuality is a choice and a way of life you choose what you want. They also said that your enviorment influences how your gunna be ex. If you are a male living with a female figure in your house you will turn out to be feminine. They also said that trauma causes sexuality and basically everyone believed that it is a choice and you can't be born gay. What are your views and reasons why? Any articles would be cool.


    Discuss
     
  2. Gera-Kun

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    well, i see it as sexuallity ISN'T a choice. if it was, i'd bea str8, lolies. but don't get me wrong, i LOVE being gay! i'm with the best guy in the whole world now and i love him alot! ^^ he says that there was an article saying that there's a gay gene. i can't find it tho, other ppl have...maybe i'm not looking right? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  3. beckyg

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    You should print off some of the PFLAG publications to take with you next time.
     
  4. GlindaRose

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    Oh come on, being gay is a choice? Sorry but I gotta say no because I spent 2 years trying really hard to be straight, and did not succeed.
     
  5. Lexington

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    My take.

    Yes, there IS an element of choice involved in sexuality. I did not choose to BE gay. I'm attracted to men. That's how I'm wired. I didn't choose that. However, I did choose to LIVE gay. I chose to live by my programming. I could've denied that, forced myself to date women, maybe marry one, maybe have kids. But it would never have been natural to me. It would've been like walking on my hands every day. I might have eventually gotten OK at it, but it would always be awkward, and I always would want to walk on my feet. Living as I was built has made me a much better, much happier guy.

    Lex
     
  6. pirateninja

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    I agree with Lex on this one. I chose to come out, I choose to live my life out in the open now, I choose to tell people, I choose to go to Pride, I choose to wear rainbows, I choose to not keep my sexuality hidden.

    I could still be lesbian and just keep it on the quiet. I could choose to pretend to like guys and date them instead. But like Lex said, it wouldn't feel right. It wouldn't be what I truly wanted.

    I could compare it to school subjects. I want to study art and creative writing at university. I have been mocked for this, because they aren't traditionally academic subjects. I COULD choose to apply for sciences and maths at university, but it doesn't mean that I would enjoy studying them. I choose to apply for art and english courses because I know I will enjoy studying them.

    I didn't choose to be gay any more than I chose what subjects I like. I could act like a straight science and maths student, but I choose to be and do what feels natural.

    We don't choose what we truly like, we just like them. And the next time they say "being gay is a choice" ask them to either:

    1. "choose" to be gay for just a day

    2. explain when exactly they chose to be straight
     
  7. sdc91

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    It's definitely not a choice. The only choice I made was to accept it.

    As for nature vs. nurture, I don't even know. I think it's both because some twin pairs are straight/gay, straight/straight, gay/gay. Plus if it were totally genetic then people would want to find a "cure".
     
  8. Trumpetplyer23

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    I did read something somewhere about the 'gay' gene. Do I believe it? No, not really.

    As for the entire 'it's how you're raised', thing, I lived with both of my parents for thirteen years of my life. I already knew I was bisexual before my dad left, I came to terms with it about a year before he left, by the time he left, I was out to all of my friends.
     
  9. Leigh

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    why exactly would people choose to be a part of a group subjected to so much discrimination, etc, etc... if it was a choice.

    and also... does that mean you choose to be straight?

    i think its pretty obvious you cant choose who you like - im sure most people will have been in a situation where theyve liked someone they dont wanna like and it causes problems... and that can be same sex or not.

    although i agree about the point about how you live - so in a way the lifestyle bit is a choice - but the ....**i dont know what youd call it**.... your actual orientation isnt.

    also yeah the way youve been brought up can be important - and its how you associate things. like i dont go for really girly guys, but my bff does, so it can determine your tastes, but at the end of the day no i dont believe that your sexuality is a choice.

    hope that makes sense =)


    one of my favourite quotes... hanging around gay people will make you gay - like hanging around tall people makes you tall
     
    #9 Leigh, May 8, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2008
  10. Zexion

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    http://www.logcabin.org/lef/choice_white_paper.html <-- -really- insightful article.

    (Btw, I 100% agree with Leigh.)
     
    #10 Zexion, May 8, 2008
    Last edited: May 8, 2008
  11. Bahaha it's definitely not a choice. I'm still trying to be only straight and it isn't working. This must mean that we can't flip flop at will.
     
  12. Steam Giant

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    I think what a lot of people mean by the "homosexual lifestyle being a choice" is that, while sexual attraction to the same gender is not a choice, being openly gay is. I think the largest percentage of homophobes are okay with gay people as long as they are not open about it. To these people, I like to make cracks about them being too open about their heterosexuality :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  13. Latinokid

    Latinokid Guest

    Do u have the site for these publications becky? it would really help open peoples minds up and how they think that it is "disgusting" to kiss the same sex. And thanks to all of you who responded.
     
  14. Choice? no, but that doesn't mean nuture plays no role.(i know looking at my history you could point out events to "influence it") Supposedly everything about its is 50% nature, 50% nuture.
     
  15. shyguy626

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    wow this info is great...but i dont think i chose to be of color did i? get it like you are who you are no matter what.... no one can take who you are away... it is a choice indeed to LIVE THIS LIFE BUT TO "BE" this life i chose not
    Lj
     
  16. Wander

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    I was never given a choice about my sexuality. There is no point in one's life where they get to choose how they want their emotions to run. You can choose to express them in any way you want, you can choose to try and change yourself, you can choose to hide from others to keep your secret, but you cannot choose to be gay.
     
  17. Wander

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    I always get slightly irked by this phrase as well, though. Every time I hear someone use the words "openly gay", it's usually followed by something about how a person acts or speaks or dresses. I'm the least flamboyant gay person I know, yet I would consider myself openly gay because I do not make any effort to hide the truth. It's just chance that my natural way of acting does a good job of concealing it.

    Not attacking you or anything, it just caught my eye.
     
  18. beckyg

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    There is one called Be Yourself that answers questions about sexual orientation.

    http://community.pflag.org/NETCOMMUNITY/Page.aspx?pid=594&srcid=416
     
  19. ok455

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    If being gay is a choice, Isn't being straight is a choice? i think if sexuality was a choice everyone wouldn't be 100 percent straight or gay we would all be dating any sex.
     
  20. Nerdtendo

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    "Being straight = Choice" just as "Likeing Penut Butter = Choice". In other words, it's a preference. If you like something over the other, it really cant be helped. you can eat Penut butter, but if you dont like it, you wont enjoy it.