Corporal punishment

I agree with your stance.

why? because I was always beat if i 'talked' back or 'yelled' ...and it's made me hate my dad even more. It didn't teach me a lesson, it made me more angry and increased my anxiety. i don't like people touching me anymore because of it

 

Agreed. Don't get the benefits of beating a child into submission. As someone who recieved corporal punishment as a kid, the only benefit I got is that it turned me into a neurotic wreck.

The key is raising your kids to be independent free thinkers, not nervous wrecks...

 

Never.

 

I would keep the stick, but never use it.

I'd like to add on that, it doesn't teach the child any lessons as well.

Corporal punishment is silly, it hurts and can lead to death. I can't say I'm not a victim of it, I was hit by my mother once on the hands when I was young cuz I messed up something bad.

The key to stopping the punishment and the bad things that they do is raise them right from the beginning, I just don't know how yet.

 

I think it is. Spankings were about the only thing that kept me in line because i was a little shit. Groundings didn't work. I just learned how to get around them.

 

Only when they don't respond to reason. Violence is never the end solution, but for the same reason that cops use tasers on belligerent suspects, sometimes they need to be brought in line by force. At least in my experience, the first response to being beaten was momentary shock. Neither of my parents ever left a mark on me, and I was smart enough to know it wasn't because they were being cruel. But it was a guaranteed way of getting either me or my brother to be quiet just long enough to reconfirm who was in charge.

 

I think it's acceptable in a few cases. Like if a kid is hitting, punching people then spank them because it shows why not to do that. Or if you tried absolutely everything else and it doesn't work corporal punishment is fine. However, for most disobedient cases time outs, los of privileges, groundings, no friends over should work. The punishment should match the crime. Corporal punishment shouldn't be used for everything or it's abuse. Only use it when necessary.

 

I agree completely. It also just sets up a cycle of abuse, kids learn to use violence to get people to listen to what they want and most likely will end up beating their own kids in the future or their partner.

IMO, if you need fear, and thats what corporal punishment is, to control your child then either your child needs professional behavioral help or your just a lazy parent who shouldn't have had kids in the first place.

Yes, teach your child that violence is unacceptable with a display of violence.

And these suspects are usually adults, so its equal footing. When an adult beats a child its completely different. Also most likely a show of aggression from police will only increase the chances of repeat outbursts and displays of violence from said offender, it doesn't fix the problem. Yes in a lot of "police" situations its necessary but in your own home with your own child it shouldn't ever come to that.

 

My parents hit me like twice in my life. I'm doing alright.
I'm stealing their parenting style.

 

..Guys.

Corporal punishment =/= beating.

Beating = abuse.

There's a major difference between the two. A spanking isn't something that should leave bruises. Three swats is enough, anymore than that and it's being done out of anger.

 

Honestly its a fine line and you can use the word beating to mean corporal punishment. Also when is it ever not out of anger? Most peoples accounts of growing up weren't filled with a small spank here and there.

My parents never left bruises, they lefts welts and I know I got off easy compared to other people. I never got the belt like some, just my dads hand and my mom used wooden spoons and then later plastic spatulas when she realised they didnt break so easily. Though she broke a few plastic ones too.

Any violence is abuse, both physical and psychological.

 

Spanking does do much justice either.

 

No, there's a pretty big difference between a beating and punishment. A beating is going to result in lasting damage. Cuts, bruises, cracked or broken bones. Punishment ofr the sake of discipline shouldn't do any of that.

I got the belt and I don't recall having welts. Though, it's probably been a good decade or so, but I don't recall anything like that.

So, if I take a stick and start beating it against a rock, violently, that's considered abuse?

 

I wouldn't argue it's equal footing if one is highly trained and well equipped, and the other one is occasionally drunk. I'll agree that police aggression will only build resentment, but like I said, that's not the punishment; that's the preparation for punishment if politeness fails.

Of course different actions work for different kids. Some will come around with the gentlest persuasion and never need a spanking, but others might scream and break things. In that scenario no amount of stern talk or taking away privileges will do much good.

 

If you have to hit a child to prove your point, you're horrible at proving your point.

 

I do not agree with corporal punishment. To this day I cringe whenever I hear a belt snap. I have a well adjusted, successful adult son. He jokes about the times I would say "we need to talk about your behavior". He says he dreaded those words. I never had to use corporal punishment, even though some suggested it and he could not have turned out any better!!

 

The words are interchangeable, there are different levels of violence that it can describe. Anyways you shouldn't focus on the use of one word, its irrelevant.

I don't know how you could have gotten the belt and not received welts. My dads open hand left a welt for a day or more and so did my mothers work sometimes, surely a belt would leave worse. Unless you constantly wore really think ass pants.

Rofl. That's a serious argument? really. No offense but that has to be one of the most absurd points I have ever heard. Don't take my words and clearly apply them out of context, especially so ridiculously, to try and bolster your argument.

But sure ill run with your crazy logic and try and turn it into something reasonable. Of course that show of violence doesn't effect anyone physically (note the use of people instead of inanimate objects), however if a child was to see his parent or someone of authority loosing their temper like that it may effect them psychologically, at least a little bit. It would create a reason to fear that persons anger, lest they turn it on them instead of the rock next time.

 

I think that there are cases where corporal punishment are okay, but they are only very, very, very special cases.

My parents had friends and for whatever reason, their three year old kept trying to bring his two month old sister into the pool. This problem kept persisting, and he almost drowned the baby on a couple of occasions. They took him to a therapist to see why he was doing it, but it was taking a long time for them to find out what exactly was wrong with him. After a while, his father spanked him. The little boy finally stopped doing it, and he ended up being diagnosed with something, though I can't remember what it was.

If it's a matter of the child hurting itself or others, then yes, it should be okay to spank your child if everything else has failed.

However, that's the only occasion that I would accept it. Fact is, a lot of people forget that you can't just smack a kid and accept him to learn right and wrong. More often than not, kids end up getting swatted, but they never learn why they are being hit. If people don't sit down and actually talk to their kids and teach them right from wrong, they aren't going to learn.

Basically, corporal punishment is okay in special cases. But it should never be your go-to parenting technique. And if you are ever hitting so hard that you can cause permanent damage to your kids, then it has gone past the point of punishment.

 

Okay, it's time to put my views into the thread.

First off, children don't just start off with the ability to have complex thinking (Even if they do, it's extremely basic). That gets developed further along the line. I believe that you should have the right to spank your child, this doesn't mean that you should beat the shit out of your child, that's neglect and completely wrong. It doesn't teach them that unprovoked violence is acceptable either, they did something wrong to provoke this supposed 'violence'.

There is a difference between punishment and neglect that everyone seems to forget. The kid did something wrong and because of his young age, there isn't much you can do to affect him mentally, so a tap on the ass suffices as well. I could understand if everyone just whipped the shit out of their kids because they ate a chocolate chip cookie they weren't supposed to eat, which again, is completely wrong. There are certain things that your kids do that gives you a right to spank him, such as talking back, stealing, etc.

When your child gets older, it's different, because you're hitting him when there are more viable answers to the situation such as revoking rights and groundings. Once you reach a certain age there is sort of a line that they cross that they cross.

That is my view on it, feel free to disagree if you will, but this is how my parents were raised, I was raised, and one day my kids will be raised like this as well.