Ok... I'm a lesbian but I've only been with a man (read my other threads if you want all the tedious details). I'm only attracted to women, plan to be with them exclusively for the rest of my life, etc. etc. And now I want to be more "visible" and "out" as a lesbian... but I feel like I don't have the "right" to do so, because I've never been in a real relationship with a woman yet. So, I really wanna wear a rainbow "pride" bracelet, since that's the most obvious way to tell everyone around me I'm a lesbian. But I'll feel like people will think I'm a poser or a faker if they hear that I've never been with a woman yet, and have only been with a man. Would it be stupid for me to wear a pride bracelet since I've never been in a homo relationship? I don't want people to think I'm a poser...
You don't have to prove your legitimacy of being a lesbian to others. Wear the bracelet and show your pride, but only if it is safe to do so, i.e parents and friends know or would understand and accept you. If they question the legitimacy of you liking women because you haven't been in a relationship with a woman, ...what?
You don't have to be sleeping with women to be a lesbian. If you're only attracted to women, and you're a woman, then by definition, you're a lesbian. You can come out, it's okay.
I second what the others have said here. Besides that, you're only 23. What would give the right to person A saying that person B who's much older isn't legitimately gay, either, if, for instance, person B were 60 and gay but had no experience with such things? That's a rhetorical question, but I hope you see what I mean.
I see what you mean, and I agree. But I'm just abnormally paranoid about people's perceptions of me I guess. Plus, I hang out with my ex boyfriend a lot and people who know me would see me and be like "But... I thought you were like, dating this guy, how can you be gay?" And I'd have to explain that he's my ex and we're just friends now and blahh. Anyway, I just don't want people to think I'm going through a "gay phase" or just trying to get attention. Maybe I'll just get a ring to make it more subtle. Idk. I really want people to know I'm gay but I also want them to actually believe me and take me seriously. So you don't think there's a chance that people would think I'm a poser, especially other gay people/lesbians?
Of course, there's always a chance that people will think you're a poser. Many people judge others in terms of almost everything. With that said, it doesn't matter what others think of you, though, if it's negative, for the most part. Don't let it affect you, 'cause there's nothing wrong with being gay. =)
Yeah... I mean, I've been called a poser simply for wearing a band t-shirt, of my favorite band. Haha... I know I shouldn't care, it's just my anxiety getting to me. I know I'm not a poser, so I guess it shouldn't matter. If I present myself as who I am with full force and confidence, eventually people are gonna have to believe me whether they like how I am or not. If I appear insecure about it, then that might give the impression that I really am a poser.
Wear a pride thing.. It feels so so good to just be out to everybody At first, you feel embarrassed and afraid but then you feel alive
Thanks. I'll just have to get used to the people I know poking fun at me for a while... but it seems like an easy way to come out. I still can't help feeling like I'm doing something wrong. But maybe that's just my anxiety, idk.
you don't have to be with a woman in order to know you are a lesbian. I'm going to wear pride bracelet although I never have been in a relationshop with a woman. other gay people won't think you are a poser, I promise you. I don't know what about your family.. families almost always say to their child at first that it is probably a phase. and when I came out to one of my friend, she didn't believe me so much and started to ask question.. so what? that's who you are and people will accept it eventually. how can you be in realtionship with a woman if you never came out as a lesbian? all the lesbians is the world were in the situation that they never had a girlfriend.. it's not like they born with one
My family knows, but the other people I know still think I'm straight. The reason I'm so worried is because I've only ever been in straight relationships, so it'll be less believable to people at first when I say I'm a lesbian. I know you don't have to have had a girlfriend yet to really be a lesbian, but I've pretended to be straight all my life. So I just can't shake the feeling that I'm not technically a "real" lesbian.
yea I know what you feel. All my life I though i'm attracted to men so my friend think that too. I even had a big celebrity crush on a man. When I told two of my friends that I might be a lesbian, It was kinda hard for them to believe me.. and stil do. But I really don't care. I am what I am, and they both won't tell me who I am. It may take some time but in the end they will understand that i'm probably a lesbian. the same goes to you. wish you luck ^^
Just doit!.... You will have to do a lot of explaining of course, but the pros of being visible outweight the cons... Being visible makes it easier for other lesbians to find you by the way :icon_wink, so its a good idea. :goodluck:
I've gotten some nice "upgrades" on coffee orders, food orders, etc this week since i've really focused on being very visibly out (pride shirts) So, lots of pros...
Wear it . No one ahould judge you. Someone doesnt have to have been with someone of the opposite sex to say they're straight, eh? Wear it
Haha that's cool. Hopefully that outweighs any of the negative attention you'd get for being very visible. I think I'm gonna focus on being more visible after I clear up some other stuff in my life first. I think visibility, including dressing more butch-like, will help me out a lot, since I'm not the type of person that approaches people, maybe it'll prompt others to approach me first. Hopefully it does. I just wanna signal to other lesbians, because I'm too damn shy to just walk up to one myself, lol.
