Can you be gay and avoid gay bars and the like?

Of course you can.

 

I plan on avoiding the "gay scene" as such, so I hope it's possible. You don't need to go to gay bars to meet guys. It might actually be better not to, because, as far as I've gathered, gay bars are overly focused on hooking up.

 

This is a good question!

I'm not into the whole gay scene/bars thing. Just seems really ugh!

I don't mind going for a social drink with friend or with work colleagues but the whole getting drunk and that is just a real turn off.

So yeah I say it's possible. In reality finding guy in those sorts of environments probably isn't the best. I just my patience and waiting around for Mr Right pays off... Eventually

 

agreed :eusa_clap:eusa_clap:eusa_clap

 

Of course. Its not as if you'd turn straight if you avoided one for long enough.

 

To elaborate on what I said before, my best friend is a 20-year-old gay guy, has never been to a gay club or bar, and doesn't intend to. He's been out since he was 15 and had half a dozen relationships. I'm 23 and have been gay clubbing twice, didn't much enjoy it and don't plan to go back. It's not a necessary part of being out, having relationships or living your life.

 

I have never been to a gay bar, so yes, you can.

 

It's obvious why I've never been to one, but I wouldn't be one to drink and party, so yes. You can be gay and not go to gay bars.

 

No.

 

Definitely. Just as straight people can be straight and avoid the standard bars, you won't miss out on anything major by not going to gay bars and the like.

If you're going to give an answer that goes against the general consensus without some kind of argument to back it up, it comes across like you're dissenting for the sake of dissenting, which isn't helpful.

 

90% off the bars-pubs I go to are normal straight ones every once in a while I go around the gay Village .

 

If you're done with all the drinking and partying and you're looking to find yourself somebody who isn't into the drinking and partying anymore either, I guarantee you there's a 0% likelihood you'll find them out drinking and partying.

So even though it might be harder to find other gay men without going to the bars, it will be impossible to find one who's done with the bar scene at the bar.

It really only becomes harder to find the wrong man for you, but actually possible to find the right one.

 

You can do whatever you wish.
Its not like "oh you are gay so you are forced to go to gay bars"
you control your life so do what you want x]

 

Absolutely. Both people who want to hang up that scene and who never liked it to begin with can do without setting foot in a gay bar. Also, if one wants to go because friends are going, they serve stuff that is not alcoholic which is a necessary ingredient for some of the mixed drinks. And they'll refill them for free. But, yeah, if you don't want to go, don't. There are many who don't go. For some, this is a thing that is definitely a "phase." Other things, not so much.

 

You're not obligated to go to gay bars anymore than a straight man is to go to sports bars. I've never been a fan of nightclubs or bars, and prefer the atmosphere of small coffee shops.

 

Try going to; plays, your school's GSA, coffee shops, a MCC church, PFLAG meetings, the gay men's chorus in your town, even the grocery store. Those are some of the places I've found gay people here in Dayton.

 

Is it possible to be an alcoholic and avoid regular bars? Of course.

 

I find gay bars terribly annoying, caddy, clique-ish and contrived. The few times I've been dragged to one by a friend, no ammount of alcohol or drugs could possibly have numbed the pain.

As such, I have avoided them for years, and have no regrets! The other thing I didn't like was that they seemed filled with stereotypes...so many people seemed to be trying for this same kinda Abercrombie image that despite all the talk about diversity, I didn't see much.

Instead, I go places that I enjoy, and sometimes, I do run into other gay people there. I'm much, much happier this way than trying to like gay bars, as they are now.

 

I never ever picked up a guy in a gay bar... It never was my thing. So, yeah.. avoid them