Mine really aren't that high. In fact, I'd say that they're normal, but sometimes I wonder if that's a little too high for a gay guy... the only guy who's available to me right now is some guy at work. He seems nice, but he's really awkward in a lot of ways, he's not my type, and I just think starting anything with him would be a bad idea. I just don't think it's really fair that I should be expected to lower my standards to be with whoever is available... no one would expect a straight person to get involved with someone who they're not interested in. Even with this reasoning, it still kind of weighs on my conscience... am I wrong to feel like this?
Not at all. I believe you answered your own question. He won't be the last gay guy you ever meet, and if you try to go out there an socialize with more in the LGBTQ community, we aren't actually the most rare things in the world.
Everyone's entitled to have standards, and you're absolutely right that you shouldn't be expected to lower them. You're also quite lucky that your standards aren't ridiculously high. Don't feel like you should go against what you like/want/prefer in a partner. It's always a bad idea to enter a relationship with someone just because they're available. You'll more than likely find someone who fits what you want perfectly. On a personal note, I don't really have standards, which leads people to label me as 'desperate' when in reality I just don't really have standards that aren't common sense (i.e. hygienic).
I don't think it's a shame to have standards. I think we all like to have our boundaries we don't want to cross. I for instance, don't really like those who have tattoos or piercings. I hang out with quite a few, but I don't think I could be romantically involved with one.
Standards are good. They keep you grounded and keep an eye out for what you like. Of course, some are kind of crazy. I saw a person once who would not date anyone who went to community college. That's a little crazy. I say have standards...just keep things in perspective As for me, my standards aren't much. No drugs is a big one. For me really, if we work well together and I see we might go somewhere then I go for it. Physical characteristics really don't mean anything to me.
I have standards, but they certainly aren't unreasonable. No drugs (preferably no alcohol either, but I'll tolerate it), I don't have an eye or hair color preference, I really like someone who is kind of my opposite you know like someone who's wild and fun and talks a lot, but if they're mean, two-faced, and a liar like my ex was, then it's no dice. I have to admit I like someone who's healthy because I tend to have the same kind of lifestyle as the people I'm around, so having someone with a healthy lifestyle will promote it in me.
Yeah there is no denying that as a gay man the dating pool is cut down by a factor of 10 or 20 - but that alone is not a sufficient reason to lower standards. If you settle for someone that you know is incompatible there cannot really be a future. When times get rough what is going to really keep you together? This is actually not much different than the problems in a lot of straight couples. A guy meets a girl, gets her pregnant, and then proceeds to raise the baby with her. The two may be completely incompatible, but they stay together because of the baby (even when that decision may very well be more harmful than good for the child). With gay couples that sort of early-relationship glue doesn't even exist, so I would argue that compatibility is even more important if one expects any sort of long-term relationship to be attained. So although it certainly may be tempting to fall for the first gay guy that expresses interest in me, I'm going to try to keep these things in mind. It may take a while to find the right guy, but it'll be well worth it.
Honestly, my standards are disproportionately high for cishet females right now. Just because I've had plenty of opportunities with straight ladies and not nearly enough chances to date other folks! LGBT people are still like rare, forbidden fruits of which I've only had a sample... which unfortunately means that I've jumped into a couple of relationships with people who really weren't for me.
My standards are sort of high I guess as far as body type I really don't care as long as he isn't like a skeleton or morbidly obese I don't care for muscle that much being I have issues gaining muscle I want a guy who's fit like me and eats healthy. As far as personality I want a guy who loves me will treat me right and LOVE me an ONLY me, a guy who texts me allllll the time I love that. I want a guy who spoils me an takes me places I want our interests to be similar "opposites attract" my butt they do I need someone who I can agree with and do things I like with becuase if you try changing my way of life I get very angry and frustrated. That sounds selfish but it's not meant I be. I just mean if I want to go to the Bahamas and he wants to go to England then that will be a issue because I'm so used to getting my way, and I know I need to change that but it's habits that I've lived with my whole life if I want it I get it that's why relationships for me are going to be so damn difficult. As far as sex life I don't want a guy who's to kinky Thays a no no like a guy who likes chains and things oh dear no thank you. I also need a guy who likes art, art is a huge part of my life I love drawing and painting and sculpting and decorating so we would need similar tastes with that. I'm also a neat freak so he better be to becuase I will not clean up after him, I grew up with someone who cleaned our houses so I'm accustomed to a clean environment. I've sort of gotten used to cleaning and cooking a bit for myself becuase we fired them. But he better not expect me to cool meals every day like I'm home alone 99% of the time so I only ever make myself food and it's average lol just salads and things haha. I need a guy who likes vacations because I go on 2-4 vacations a year so I need that relaxing time with him and bonding time. The only time I bind with my parents at the same time and my brother is on vacations so they mean alot to me. I want a guy who likes the same style of homes I do I certainly don't think I want a 10,000 sqft home like now it's to much for 2 people I hate staying in my home that's why I'm always at the lake house it's smaller I think about 6,000sqft is good I really like chalet style homes although I love modern but Italian marble floors are a must for me. Of he doesn't like my taste that will be an issue. He must have a good career one that makes good money, it's not an absolute must buy It would be desired in a man. And we have to have matching a vehicles! I always wanted that hehe. That's my standards.......
I have high standards, but I don't have a lot. They aren't unreasonable, I meet them. Interest in culture, and extensive knowledge in at least one field; sports, film, music, literature, dance and such. I like to discuss the films I watched, books I read et cetera. I'd love to go to the opera or the ballet. I can and love to cook, and I'd be happy to cook for two. Of course, if my partner wanted meat or dairy they'd have to cook for themselves. I like to be physically active. It would be great to go running together, or rock climbing! I don't think my partner needs to be extremely fit, but as long as he can keep up with me (I'm not that great either). My partner would probably have to be more conversational than I am. And more straight-forward, I have a habit of dancing around the topic instead of going straight to it. Passion for travelling would be ideal, as I'm very interested in it. Hmm. I don't know, these are just ideals I suppose. I don't want to date a copy of me, but common interests and hobbies would be great.
In my experience gay guys have higher standards than most nobody is expecting you to do anything though
High standards are great! They force you to become a better version of yourself in order to increase your chances of getting the attention and attraction from the kind of persons who are included in the boundary of your standards.
