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Why are Straight Men Weirded out by Gay Men?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by person57, Aug 7, 2013.

  1. person57

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    The title says it all. Why are most or all straight men so weirded out by Gay men?
     
  2. Night

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    I think femininity in general scares a lot of straight men because they don't want to be seen as "weak" which, to them equals femininity.

    Plus "being gay" is a fear for straight guys I would presume, so they feel intimidated by being okay with homosexuality in fear of being seen as gay.
     
  3. LinkLarkin

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    -They're scared that the gay men are going to rape them.
    -They're scared that the gay men are going to turn them gay.
    -They're scared that they're secretly gay and the gay men are going to force them to confront their feelings.
    -They're scared of difference i.e. anybody that isn't male, cisgender or heterosexual.
    -They're scared that homosexuality=pedophilia.
    -They're scared that gay men like anything with a penis so if they get too close they might become the target of our affections.
    -They're scared of how so many women prefer to be friends with gay men than straight men.
    -They're scared that other people will doubt their sexuality if they befriend gay men.
    -They're scared by the fact that we get a parade and they don't.
    -They're scared by the fact that our obsessive insecurities leads us to take better care of our physical appearance than they do.
    -They're scared by the fact that they can't be fabulous like we can. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
  4. 461 467

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    Awesome post!:eusa_clap
     
  5. person57

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    It pisses me off that straight men are like that. I wish straight men were more understanding. This is one of the main reasons I'm scared to come out.
     
  6. Nick07

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    I believe straight women are quite understanding. Men, not so much.

    Perhaps it is because men had been made to protect - from danger and from unknown. Being gay is not standard and it has usually a lot of unknown in itself for straight men.

    So, no matter how silly it may sound, they stand up and protect the herd... saying also See? The right is on my side and I am here to protect it.
    In this case it's sad and silly.
     
  7. Britishskittles

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  8. Nick07

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    Yeah, I know what you mean, fortunately, I know a lot of women who doesn't make difference between gay and lesbian. And I try to avoid gossiping women like a plague.
     
  9. Aussie792

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    They're scared that we'll treat them in the same way they treat women. They get hostile at the thought that a man would treat another man as if he were as inferior as a woman.
     
  10. Harve

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    Fortunately they're not, at least in my country and once you're past the age of 16.
     
  11. Oxelotl

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    Well from what I've noticed they're scared they're going to be sodomized, or worried that any gay person in a 4 meter radius is staring at them intently, trying to figure out where the closest bed is (and that is actualy what I heard someone say once). And most probably they just can't understand something that is different.
    But LinkLarkin basically said it perfectly.
     
  12. biggayguy

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    I have a hunch that more straight guys check each other out in the locker room than they want to let on. They're afraid that the one time they were alone with "Johnny" might just make them gay. Then when the group is together they are cruel to "Johnny" to prove how manly they are.
     
  13. unknown17050

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    I love how this post is generalizing straight men as slightly homophobic....
     
  14. Ashen

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    Double standards much :confused:

    I don't think all straight men are like that. However, I do know that a majority of people will act odd around anything new, I'm going to admit it now. When I was relatively young and saw my first lesbian couple (a friend of my mother's), I was weirded out by it. Because even though I had been told everyone was equal and believed it, it was new and foreign to me. So therefore, by human instinct, it was weird and not to be trusted. But, this of course faded quickly. The same was true when I encountered my first gay man IRL, I mean, I never actually let it interfere with how I thought about him, but my body instantly reacted. This concept was foreign to me. It tested how much I knew and could trust something that was different, no matter how mild. Even if mentally I was thinking that I know people of all orientations are no different from me, bodily and intinctivley, out first reaction to something new is to be cautious of it. Not necessarily afraid, but not acting normal until we get adjusted to the idea. That being said, I'm now completely "adjusted" to being around all orientations after those mere two experiences. Because I know what I said does sound a bit bad.

    That being said, there are two things to consider.

    1. society perpetuates a gender binary, males and females are told to act a certain way. The concept of masculinity involves never doing anything "girly" or "soft" that would threaten your masculinity. Otherwise in the eyes of other males you are supposedly "less of a man". And while ofc not all males adhere to this, the idea is driven into the skulls enough so that quite a few men will feel uneasy in the presence of a gay male, because being gay is one of the things NOT associated with masculinity. Masculine males are supposed to like women, and get women. So perhaps the idea of being with a gay male can put some males at an unease for fear of their own masculinity being lowered in the eyes of other males.

    2. The idiots. Speak louder than the people who know what they're saying most of the time.
     
  15. Tightrope

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    Great post.
    I'll deduct the fabulous part.
    I'll add that they're scared of the concept that basic bodily friction will turn on most, though not all, people.

    Of all of the quoted list, I think that confronting insecurities about their own sexuality and what others would think of them if they were in the slightest bit amicable with someone gay are the key items so, to deal with the latter, they use hostility to differentiate themselves.

    ---------- Post added 7th Aug 2013 at 02:56 PM ----------

    That's right. How else would I have heard so many comments in college about how equipped certain guys in their dorm with open showers were?
     
  16. iHateThinking

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    Basically this. I would assume that, based on society's standards and gender roles, a gay man is a sort of a "threat". There's a small minority of men who absolutely loathe lesbians as well, I'm under the assumption that these are the same guys that can't stand gay men.

    I still don't understand why they'd feel gay men would be a threat to masculinity, I'm pretty darn sure there are a lot of "masculine" gay guys as well as "feminine" gay guys. I also don't get how they'd figure they will somehow turn gay... Gay is not a disease that's spread by contact, air, water, or bodily fluids. o__O People are confusing.
     
  17. unknown17050

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    I think this post understands and gets it more honestly....
     
  18. SohoDreamer

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    Rash stereotyping of straight men going in this thread. "Most or all" straight guys are weirded out by gay men? Come on now, that's ridiculously unfair. It's simply not true. It of course depends wildly upon the location, but at least in western society, I'd say most straight men are NOT weirded out by gay guys. When referring to adults at least, most don't actually have a problem with it. Even teenagers; I'm 17 and go to college (6th form) and most guys in my year do not have the slightest problem with gay guys. In fact, in my school, it's harder to be a lesbian/bi girl because lots of the girls are very homophobic towards gay/bi girls. Hopefully this will change when they become adults, but I can still say for definite that the guys in my school are less homophobic than the girls. In society in general, straight men are not all ignorant bigots, it is more the loud minority and one should not make such insulting statements about them.
     
  19. Miles16

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    A majority of my friends or associates are straight men. None of them give the impression that they're freaked out by gay people. My best friend is one of the most touchy-feely faux-flirty people ever - but he loves women and women alone. My roommate is totally straight but people keep thinking he's gay just because he's secure enough in his sexuality to not be scared away from painting his fingernails and wearing makeup for fear of seeming 'gay', and a lot of his friends are gay or lesbian. No doubt a lot of straight men are ignorant or fearful or bigoted, but a lot more than you might think are comfortable with gay people and don't care.
     
  20. FreeFlow9917

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    Because we can suck more dick than their girlfriends lol.
    The uncomfortability they get because we like guys and it makes them a little queezy