Brené Brown interview, talks about gay people, coming out, porn, and more

Chip · Aug 8, 2013

This is a really good interview (more of a conversation, actually) from a wonderful website called TheQuestAwaitsYou.com.

The conversation is probably among the best I've seen about Dr. Brown's work as it relates to LGBT populations, in part because the people conversing with her are all gay men and all have a deep knowledge of her work, and of the unique issues relating to gay people. (The site itself looks pretty awesome as well...)

Here are some choice quotes from the interview (emphasis mine):

I think for young gay boys who realize – “Oh my God, I’m different” – this is dangerous and could threaten belonging, not just with their friends and community, but with their family of origin; the people that they need the most. You can talk about the struggle that the GLBT community has, and you can talk about race, and you can talk about class, but it is really the only struggle where in owning your story and who you are, you jeopardize or potentially jeopardize the group of people who can help you through it, which is your family. If you’re Latino or Latina or you’re Black or you’re Asian and the world is racist, you still have parents who look like you who give you strategies for dealing with the world, who help you with your worthiness. Sexual orientation is different in that way.
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To me, I think a community, and I’m going to go a little brave here, I think any community can measure its health, well-being and pride by markers like the addiction rate in a community, the suicide rate. That’s not saying it’s just the gay community that still has a lot of problems because it has high addiction rate. So do the military. So do a lot of people. The thing is this, that when you have to shut down a part of yourself in order to survive, in order to find a sense of belonging, then the sense of belonging you’re finding is not true belonging, and you’re constantly under the stress and pressure of hustling for your worthiness. That’s traumatic and that stuff has to be healed.
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To me, the connection is you either stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness, or you own it. When you stand outside hustling, it’s a double punch because you feel shame for the things you do to try to get people’s approval — money, sex, work, status, appearance, whatever it is — and then you also feel ashamed because you’re not being authentic. You know you’re hiding something about yourself.
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The full interview (as well as other stuff on their site) is well worth the read.

LD579 · Aug 8, 2013

Wow. This touches upon tons of interesting and useful topics... I'll be sure to listen to it.

greatwhale · Aug 8, 2013

Same here!

BudderMC · Aug 8, 2013

Brilliant, as usual.

Electra · Aug 11, 2013

Yes - really good stuff. Having been involved in the work of the Quest, I recommend it wholeheartedly if you striving to be more authentic as a gay man.

Brené Brown interview, talks about gay people, coming out, porn, and more

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Brené Brown interview, talks about gay people, coming out, porn, and more

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Chip
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