The "Gay" Community

I think there's a few overlapping issues with saying "the gay community". It implies that all members of the LGBTQ* community fall under the label "gay" (whether for political purposes or otherwise). I personally don't have an issue with this one even though I typically say "LGBTQ* community", but maybe that's because I'm gay and therefore not excluded by that terminology.

Even if we use "gay community" to only refer to gay people, it implies that all gay people are similar in some regard. As I'm sure we've learned from even just being on this site, that doesn't hold true. It's the same issue of having a stranger develop a first impression of me when I lead with "I'm gay"; being gay only affects my interactions with you in some small manners, but unfortunately that's all you'll focus on.

On the other hand, if we use "LGBTQ* (or whatever other inclusive term) community", we imply that all LGBTQ* people must have some similar values. Truthfully, I don't think being "not cis/straight" makes us all similar. If anything, that makes us all very different, so it's arguably less accurate than using "the gay community".

The bigger issue here is that people are caught up in using verbal shortcuts to get a point across but ultimately end up sending the wrong message. For example, I don't work with "developmentally disabled people", I work with "people who have developmental disabilities". The former groups everyone under one umbrella, the latter preserves the individuality and uniqueness of each person while still identifying there is some common link within the group that makes the group a group. It's a subtle but very important difference.

 

I have no problem with it. I know that "gay" is shorthand for LGBT.

Its gets tiring when you go around saying Lesbian,Gay, Bi, Transgender/sexual community. Even LGBT (4 syllables) becomes difficult. Gay - a single explosive grunting sound - LOL - is easier.

We are trying to be inclusive, not separationists. But it is really hard to not have such language barriers since terms for all of these groups of people are relatively new words.

Queer Nation? That has been tried, and I think it flopped. GLBT/LGBT had legs, but people got tired of it I think. Rainbow Nation?...

I think gay just stuck because it was simplest, and Gay community to the straight world means anything that ain't hetero...

Do you have a name we can use that is inclusive off all of those who ain't straight? Anti-straight Community? Unstraight? Bent?

Do you see the difficulty there?

 

The problem with GSM is that in the classified ads it mean Gay Single Male. It could lead to confusion.

 

Rainbow Nation. Awesome.

There's also Outside the Sexuality & Gender Mainstream (OSGM).

People who ID as gay shouldn't be deciding whether this is an issue or not (which it is). This doesn't affect you. Actually, it favors you.

 

Its called Gay Pride, because that is where the origins of the parade/celebration originated. Gay Pride began as an attempt to raise awareness for Gay Rights.

The reason why homosexuality is at the heart of the LGBTQ community is because it includes 90% of us (Notice I put all, but the T in bold). For instance, it is called Gay Rights, not because the rights are inherently for homosexuals as many tend to assume, but rather because the rights are for homosexual relations. There aren't any laws preventing polysexuality, simply the homosexuality that occurs in polysexuality. The rights are for those who practice homosexuality, not only those who are purely of that social group.

Now, the reason I did not bold the transgender section of that abbreviation is that most people tend to forget that there is a world of difference between sexuality and gender relations/expression. For instance even in the gay community, femininity in men and masculinity in women is vastly considered the least desirable of characteristics and commonly only fetishized in those instances of desire.

We all really need to start recognizing that distinction between sexuality and gender relations, because everyone and everything in regards to gender eccentricity are still in the bottom of the bucket in our world. Hell, we're below the bucket.

 

That's like saying white people aren't able to decide whether racism against black people isn't an issue, or that straight people aren't able to decide whether LGBTQ* discrimination is an issue.

I hope you're kidding. You don't have to be a part of a minority group to look at a situation objectively.

 

I hope you're kidding. Nope, whites don't get to do decide what's racist and what's not. That's just silly. Whites aren't the ones being oppressed. How could I know what it's like? Cishets don't get to decide for us how we should feel, react to, or do with regards to our discrimination. Cishets should listen to us about what hurts us and what we need.

 

It's not about deciding for us what is and isn't a problem, it's about deciding for themselves what they feel is and isn't a problem.

I identify as gay. I fully understand that I am not oppressed by the terminology (or lack thereof) in using the words "gay community". However, you can't tell me whether or not I should think it's a problem. Just because I'm not oppressed by it does not mean I can't identify that it's an issue for other people.

 

I believe you've missed what I was saying.

It was not rights for homosexual people; it was rights for homosexual relations. The rights that polysexuals were missing were their rights to have homosexual relations. Gay Rights are inclusive of that. The gay community is fitting in itself; if you are arguing that it shouldn't be misplaced as a term for the entire LGBTQ community then that is reasonable, but the term by itself is perfectly justified when speaking specifically, as is the "Transgender Community", etc.

Pride has been commonly refered to as LGBTQ Pride in the past few years by organizations, companies, clubs, etc. My point in speaking of its origin is to explain why is was called Gay Pride to begin with; likewise, why many average individuals still refer to it as such today. Many bring up this point as if homosexuals simply went out and decided it was all about them. It originated from their community. I believe it is important that everyone is included in pride, but this attitude that the Gay Community is at fault because Pride is often seem as more of a gay event is a bit unreasonable considering the rapid growth of the LGBTQ community is just the last few decades. It would be nice is every common individual saw it equally as every section of the LGBTQ community Pride, but the reason behind many not is much more what is has signified over the years, rather than simply one group shoving out the rest as homosexuals are largely portrayed as doing.

Disregard them from what?

That section of my post that you are quoting is when I was speaking of those effected by Gay Rights. The other 10% are not disregarded because those laws don't apply to them. There isn't anything legally wrong with being asexual. That is the only other sexuality that you must be speaking of, because every transgender individual is effected by Gay Right unless if they are asexual.

Its Gay Rights. Not the Rights of the Gays. It is the rights of homosexual relations, which include polysexuals. Polysexual Rights does not make logical sense, as only the homosexual aspects of the legal rights are being discriminated against.

 

Yes, they are. Unless they live in an area that is extremely progressive in trans rights, but discriminative with gay rights because the vast majority of areas will not simply accept them as their desired gender because they feel as such. Just because they can change their name to the opposite sex legally, does not mean that they government will recognize all of their other legal affairs as that sex.

I agree that Transgenders are commonly excluded, but what people tend to forget is All Gender Eccentricities Are. None of us have benefited from the movements for sexuality-based rights because we are not sexuality-based.

This is essentially like asking Women's Rights to help out Civil Rights. There are racist women. Simply because both have been discriminated against, does not mean that all of their members are automatically going to agree with one another.

Not to mention, we need to stop making the mistake of assuming that gaining acceptance for a sexuality means acceptance for all of it sexuals. Cis, Masculine, ___sexual Men and Cis, Feminine, ____sexual Women are becoming more accepted. Homosexualilty, and even Polysexuality, is becoming more accepted not specifically homosexuals or polysexuals. There has been far too much generalizing as if we automatically have no idea who the gender-specific sections of the community are going through.

 

However as a movement - Hold on a second. This movement you are talking about - the one that has been going on longer than you have been alive - is this the movement you are talking about.

Our message, is what exactly? Oh now that we have hurdled nearly every last hurdle and won our rights we are going to discard our history and force everyone to be even more politically correct....?

I think the movement days are coming to a close in the USA at least. The overturning of anti-gay marriage legislation is pretty much the last big hurtle. Now you can work without being harassed, can live in any apartment building you can afford and if anyone dares to hit you with a baseball bat while calling you fag they end up going to jail for a longer time for a 'hate crime'. Can serve in the Military, can Adopt kids, Have domestic partnership in a lot of states, more and more states you can marry any adult you please... even the Fed is starting to recognize 'gay rights' - Which includes the rights of all of those people who you are so worried about.

That was all achieved under the banner of the Gay Community.

In the bad days of the Movement, when a gay man could lose his job, or a bi man, or a lesbian, or a transgender hetero or straight or whatever pan, bi/gender thing you want to throw out there, no one in our community had much of a problem of standing behind one banner and being called gay, because you see GAY was a derogatory name that was applied to all of these groups of people.

When we were being electrocuted for medical reasons to 'treat' our 'conditions', when it was perfectly OK for one to disassociate with any of those people, or ____ (fill in the blank with anything nasty) them, or deny them rights to live where they want, work where they want and no one really cared if one of them got beating up by a gang of thugs with baseball bats.

We - Gay people (LGBT - etc)Took back the name, we owned the name and carried it proudly. And it became the name we threw out there to signify that yes we exist and we are not going down without a fight.

Historically, throughout the 20th century during the most important days of our movement to our freedom from tyranny, we all understood that we were part of the Gay Community and wore that label proudly and damn the rest of the people who took issue with it.
Now that the war is almost over, now people want to quibble about who is who, what is what?

I suppose we should just wipe out the last 50 years of names of those who have gone on before to get our rights for us, Like Harvey Milk, Mathew Sheppard as well - after all they were only homosexual men and didn't represent the whole rainbow of people who were do to sexual stuff isolated and condemned, beaten and murdered for generations.

There is a history to the name Gay - which goes beyond homosexual male. There is also a history to the notion of community, and when it comes to the Gay community there is a god awful amount of blood, sweat and tears that that community was built with.

 

I always take "gay community" just to refer to people with same-sex attractions, regardless of whether it's bisexual or gay or what have you.

 

I can see how it bothers people. Heck, even I am bothered by this, because transgender and bisexual is not the same as lesbian/gay. I usually refer to it as the LGBT community.

 

I get what you are saying and I agree with you in many things, but you are making it seems like we haven't had a problem of representation until very recently, which is not true.

From the very beginning there were problems of who was being represented when people fought for rights. It even took a good while until lesbians and gay men were able to work together effectively, and even longer for bisexuals and trans* people to get any recognition. Not to mention that people of color got left behind in every category.

Gay people weren't the only ones that died and made a mark in history. Many trans*, bi and other activists lost their lives for us, yet we forget most of our history that isn't about gay men.

We forget about the Compton's Cafeteria Riot and we forget about the Trans* people involved in the Stonewall Riots. We forget people like Bayard Rustin, Sylvia Rae Rivera, Brenda Howard, and Brandon Teena existed and fought just as hard as anyone else back then.

This is far from the reality for MANY people that are part of the LGBT community.

Yes, the previous generations have accomplished great things and have sacrficed a lto for us to even be here to be able to debate this topic, but just because the previous movement did a lot of good it doesn't mean that it didn't have its flaws.

We are coming to a time in social justice where every single movement is becoming more aware of our different intersectionalities. The LGBT movement will have to, just like any other, progress and keep on changing in order to accommodate for the new challenges that we have ahead.

This of course doesn't mean that we must erase our history though. It just means that we must keep looking forward.