"Don't be so quick to label yourself!"

smile and nod...smile and nod...

But seriously, what's the point of convincing people who won't listen? Do you need her support in any way? Will she write you out of an inheritance? If yes, so what. It's a good policy never to count on an inheritance.

The real issue is that she can't accept it, NOT that you are wrong for choosing a word that fits your understanding of who you are...nothing more to say really...

 

^ Agreed. Smile, nod and just say "ok" because these people never change their minds. They are stuck in their ways and very rarely does it change. If you don't rely on her for anything like money or housing then its ok.

I know, its hard and it sucks, but take it from experience, these people never change. They can't accept you as you are, and if they can't do that, then they aren't really worth having around.

 

My parents told me i wasnt lesbian when i came out because i'd always looked at guys on the tv and said they were hot. When i explained i only said those things because i was trying to convince myself i was straight my dad told me to keep trying to be straight and not give up :dry:
It is very irritating and offensive, but then i guess i have to remember if i couldnt accept myself for being lesbian easily then i cant expect my parents to either. Its something people come to terms with in their own time, maybe eventually your grandma will accept it.

 

A lot of times you can chalk it up to people growing up in another era and just never getting it. Great Whale and Hrantou have it right.

 

Oh, Jesus, I've been told I haven't given being a woman a fair shake so many times. My sister calls me girl and woman all the time and keeps trying to affirm my femininity. I was told by a complete stranger that he liked my hair and that his sister had the same haircut once, and I felt insulted. My sister proceeded to say that it's not an insult and that I'm "pretty". She clings to my female persona like her life depends on it. Pisses me off.

 

There is a lot to be said for agreeing to disagree, which is basically a way of setting this debate aside while keeping one's dignity...it generally works with civilized people.

 

I would have said this:

"I'm a man who likes men, and not women. By the dictionary definition, I am gay."

 

I can relate to this, Murikan and WeAreYoung. My parents would say "I've seen you look at girls" and just ignore me when I told them I was trying to fit in. My mom even still says things like "you won't know for sure until you get with both a guy and a girl", but at least she's accepting of me liking guys. I think she'll eventually get the picture, and I'm sure your grandmother will once you get a boyfriend or start being a bit more talkative about your sexuality around her, or if she hears about it. Otherwise, just leave it be. She may not ever truly accept it, which sucks, but she still loves you, isn't disowning you, and acknowledges that you like guys. If she doesn't fully understand that sucks, I know, but at least she is trying to, and that's kind of what matters. I hope this was at least somewhat helpful, sorry if it was bad advice. Good luck!

 

I know my dad thinks everybody has gay phases in there youth which is one of the reasons I haven't come out to him or any other family , he asks me whether gay friends I had at 14 are still gay like 8 years later and I always say yes they were back than and they still are today that usually makes him think, but know one has said it to me because I have only come out to friends and there not closed minded at all

 

Why is it that sometimes the people you tell are more in denial than you are? THey aren't the queer oe

 

I have heard someone that one should let your parents go through denial just like we went through as its part of the process as they are hearing your not who they thought you were and are not going to live the life they had planned for you, if my dads anything like me it will take him like 5 years of denial not good.

 

She sounds like the typical older homophobe that has caused so much friction between our age group and theirs. Honestly, i don't mean to come across as heartless, but you may want to just cut off communication if she's going to be like that. Settling for "they're stuck in their ways" is not an acceptable excuse for bigotry, but that's just the way I look at it.

 

Well, I can agree with grandma on number 11. Though I'm sure she doesn't believe we evolved from a common ancestor along with monkeys, either. Which is absolutely not silly talk, since most primates did.

I digress.

I haven't gotten this level of negativity yet, but I'm not out to too many people yet. What I do get is a lot of "but you're so feminine!" "I totally only think of you as a girl" "well, how do you really know?" and of course, "but you're not though"

I also get "but i thought you liked guys?" "you're too cute to be a guy" and "why would you want to do this to yourself?

Some people just don't seem to understand. I'm sorry about your grandma and ex-crush, they're being completely unreasonable.

 

Well, most of the time when someone comes out to others, it's after a long period of first denying it to themselves, then starting to question, and then realizing that's who they are. It's pretty rare for someone to come out while they're still in denial - although they might get outed by someone else.

When they tell someone, this person starts the process off at the beginning. Which, for many people, means denial.

 

Whenever someone is being like that or telling me or someone else that being gay or lesbian or bisexual or whatever your sexuality is that it isn't right... I like to think a magic fairy appears and conjures up a giant orgy of whatever sexuality they were denying and they have sex all over their homes... It certainly amuses me

 

Those are some of the oldest, dumbest reasons I've ever heard.

 

I have heard it was because they watched Disney movies as a child... So it apparently made them a "gay boy" :roflmao:

I mean maybe it taught them how to sing, but I don't see how on Earth that could make someone gay :roflmao:

 

Omg, if my grandomother ever tried to convince me otherwise, I'd stop her right then and there.

"Grandma, Grandma,...take a nap." *click*