Apparently, sometimes I can be a little clingy even though I try not be clingy. Sometimes I feel like I don't have many friends because people think I'm creepy. I usually show barely any emotion on my face unless I'm sad or bored. When I'm happy I never smile. I don't know why. I'm just too lazy to smile. I also have a weird smile. Some people also think I'm creepy because I have a habit of staring into the air even though I try not to stare. I also have a weird laugh. I was bullied in Middle School because of this and I'm worried I might get bullied in high school. The reason I didn't talk about this before was because I was embarassed to but now I thought that I needed to talk about this.
Can I be honest? You remind me of myself in many ways. 1. I am clingy. I like to be with people that I like, and sometimes I take it too far and end up clinging. It's undesireable to some, and attractive to others. I just pause and ask myself whether or not I'm being overbearing before I call/text a friend to invite them somewhere. If we hung out a day ago, I will stop myself from calling the next day. It's just the way I am! 2. I would hesitate to say I'm creepy, but I can be odd or awkward at times. I get flustered some times and trip over my words. Other times I might post something on Facebook that I find funny or acceptably weird, and others think it's very strange. 3. I have a weird smile/laugh as well. My smile completely overtakes my face. I am very self concious about my teeth, because even though I had braces for 7 years (!) I didn't wear my retainer like I should and now my front teeth are pretty buck again. I hate it, but it was my fault. My laugh is, powerful, I guess. I can't control it! I end up giggling like in a high pitch tone, and my laugh "cracks" kinda like a boy in pubertt. Even though I have met some people and thought "damn what a weird smile" it became unique to them and I kinda identified them with it. Almost like when you meet a person with glasses, and after a week they take them off and you don't recognize them. Kinda like that. 4. And the staring. I DON'T like extended eye contact. It makes me uncomfortable. I will look in to a person's eyes for 4-5 seconds, look away and nod, then look back, rinse repeat. I feel creepy when someone drills a gaze into me. I also stare into space, and friends in school would snap in my face to wake me up. I just think sometimes and my visual input isn't needed at the time, so I just glaze over and focus on something in the distance. I don't think this is bad at all. My current friends say "uh-oh, he's thinking. What's he going to do now?" Hahaha
I'm kind of like that as well. Apparently my regular resting face looks kind of unintentionally sad. People often ask me what's wrong when I'm just feeling just fine emotionally. And my smile is kind of naturally lopsided so it can look like I'm grimacing when I'm actually perfectly happy. You can try practicing facial expressions in front of the mirror - that's helped me some, but it's not much of a help when I'm spacing out or distracted. If it comes up with a friend or teacher just be upfront about it. I'll tell people variations of "I'm feeling fine - my face is just weird" and people tend to be fine with that. About being bullied - if it's a problem, tell someone at school. If that person doesn't do anything to help, tell someone else. Personally for me, high school was a lot better socially than middle school was, but different schools have different kinds of bullying problems, so there's really no way to predict.
I can relate to what you're saying. When I was your age, I was kind of like that. I was awkward and didn't really fit in at school. I also had this problem of daydreaming all the time and my facial expressions were strange and so on. It's mainly to do with how self aware you are. If you're constantly thinking about how you look when you do stuff, you're going to have a hard time. I'm speaking from experience here when I say that the less self conscious you are, and the more you train yourself to not care so much about others' opinions of you, the more happy you'll be. I'm not saying I'm the epitome of confidence now; far from it. But I am a lot more popular, I have a lot of friends now, I move well through different groups. Most importantly, I don't care so much about making a bit of a fool of myself sometimes. I feel more like people laugh along with me now rather than laugh at me. 3 years ago I would scrutinize every little move I made and it drove me crazy. Trust me, it's not a good way to be. Unfortunately, you can't really change things overnight, but time does go by surprisingly quickly and if you just open yourself up a little, you'll find things will start to get easier and that invisible weight on your shoulders will get lighter and lighter. Try and find people who you have more in common with. Finding people with mutual interests and experiences as well as people who you respect and look up to can be a great way of loosening up and becoming more comfortable around others your age. I'm a lot happier than I used to be not very long ago. Around this time a year ago I tried to kill myself and now that period seems like a million years ago. I go out a lot now, both during the day doing sports and hanging out, and during the night going to parties and letting loose a little with alcohol and other stuff. Try to be less self conscious. I don't have many tips as to how to go about that. Things have a sort of natural progression in how they come about, so it might be more a case of waiting for things to get better. But you can do stuff. Exercise, maintain a healthy fitness routine, work on your school assignments, try talking to people who you wouldn't normally talk to or try and contribute to groups more. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile until you feel a little more comfortable with your features. Avoid getting too lethargic. Do stuff that involves using your brain and your body so that your tired when night comes around and you get a good night's sleep. Obviously not all this stuff directly relates to what you're saying but it's part of a whole pattern and these are the types of things one should practice in order to up their social skills and feel less self conscious. Above all, remember that you can't be anyone else and discover who you truly are. Like it or not, you're stuck with being you so you better start getting used to it. You can't change who you are but you can change how you feel about being that person. In short, don't worry! I'm sure things will get better for you like they have done (and continue to do so) for me. Being a teenager is hard and I promise you your experiences are shared by millions around the world. Never be afraid to reach out for help and just work on opening yourself up and freeing yourself from the all the self doubt issues that might plague you at this time. Good luck
I was like this almost entirely in high school and I survuved. Got bullied in middle school because of something, physically, beyond my control. I became a loner throughout high school, didn't associate myself with anybody and just lived my life. Being a loner kind of helped me and hurt me. It helped me because I got to be alone in my thoughts, and it hurt me because I couldn't share with anyone. Sure, I had lots of people that I socialized with everyday at school, but nothing outside of school. If you're worried about being bullied in high school then tell a school counser, teacher, principal, assisstant principal, anyone that you feel like you can trust. Ask your school counselor if you can meet with them like on a regular basis to discuss like what is all going on in your life and whatnot. P.S: I'm not being harsh on you or anything when I say this, but please do not post on my wall saying "Hi, please read my thread." I can't be asked to read anything. Again not trying to be mean, but maybe this is why you are thought to be clingy. A much nicer way to put that would be "Hi, I posted a thread and I really need help" or something like that.
