Is there a not-straight signal? Possibly an array of hand movements or a series of clicking noises one could perform to alert someone that one isn't heterosexual? I seriously don't get how you all do it. Sort of like the handkerchief code, but not. I'm sure this entire thread made no sense whatsoever, it's just gets on my nerves that I have no fucking clue who's straight and who's not, who's approachable, and who isn't.
People only know I'm gay because I'm out of the closet. Before that, most everybody thought I was straight.
It's just something you either notice about someone or you don't. My gaydar is well tuned, but I don't know how to explain when I know. I just do.
I'm getting better at it too...very subtle sometimes, very obvious at other times. What's weird is that people over several years in my life have suggested I may be gay...something I found so unbelievable...well, the rest is history!
I think gaydar is a little bit BS just to call a spade a spade. I think it's just people putting themselves out there. I mean I set off people's gaydar sometimes. Which is all well and fine and even accurate until I realize I'm not passing and they view me as a man. So personally I think it's just other people being obvious about stepping outside social norms, not any magical talent you have to have.
Well if you look at gay history, you find that every method we have adopted to 'flag' ourselves for discreetly notifying other gays that we are there has been immediately stolen by the heterosexuals. One of the earliest 'flags' Gay men adopted was in the late 1800's - the upper suit pocket handkerchief was first adopted by gay men to signal other gay men. By 1920 every well dressed man straight, gay, whatever just had to have the pocket square sticking out of that pocket to be a well dressed man. The end of the last century the fashion of short cropped hair bleached a brilliant blond was adopted by gay men (mind leaving the goatee and stach its natural color). ONLY gay men had that, then some straight guy thought it was so cool and got his hair cropped and bleached. Earrings. Granted, prior to the 1900's straight men wore earrings - however that dropped out of fashion in the Victorian era. Gay men adopted the habit of a discreet (or sometimes not too discrete) ear piercing to 'signal' they were gay. This is why I have my ear pierced, I got it done during the time when it signified gay. Of course the straight guys picked up on that one and knew it meant gay, thus the whole 'code' of which side you wore your earring on indicated if you were gay or straight... That didn't last long as too many got confused and that barrier broke down. Most of the fashion statements that gay men have developed through the decades (perhaps centuries) hasn't been because Gays have a fabulous sense of fashion, it has been because they have been looking for a nice, quiet way to signal other gay men to their interests, and without fail straight men just have to adopt that fashion. The hanky code, wearing a bandana in the back pocket, each color and which side you wore it on speaking volumes about your proclivities. That worked well until straight dudes looked at it and thought it was sooooo cool. So why so many 'Nelly queens' - It is the one and only thing that straight men haven't adopted. 'Gay talk' the use of certain words, clips and phrases has developed, many gays have the tiniest of lisps... All in and effort to stand out amongst the back ground of predominately hetero-males in the world. but even that isn't safe anymore, welcome to the age of the Metro-Sexual! The "code" system only works for a short period of time. Anything we adopt as a community to let others of our kind know is rapidly assimilated by the straights. They are Borg - resistance is useless:eusa_doh: So your generation, this time may have some signalling device - for the moment, don't expect it to hang around. Take my ear piercing - while it was a clear indicator of my sexuality way back in the long past, today its just a modest, natural and in many cases since I lack other piercings 'prudish' accessory. It is worse if you are a straight acting 'masculine' gay man who has no sense of fashion, who believes that plaid is a a primary color... No one knows, no one suspects unless you grab a bull horn and scream 'I'm gay - For God's sake see me!!!'
Well as far as gay bars and outings go, you can always do the handkerchief thing... I don't think straight people wear assorted multi-colored handkerchiefs for the sake of sexual fetishes do they now? It's not that much help, sorry xD I just wear my rainbow bracelets/funny-supportive LGBT t-shirts. I mean there is no one else that's out in my school anyway, so its more of a pride thing for me, and a silent "It's bright outside" to everyone who's in the closet (trust me, IK some people!) The above method is probably done by a lot of LGBT people, but its more a line of support than identification, since some straight people wear them as well. Honestly, i think some people really just giving off sub-conscious clues on purpose or not. (in the sense that they are sorta reaching out for help by their actions --- like trying too hard to appear straight, etc etc.) I don't really wanna argue about gaydar, cause it gets tiring comparing, and not knowing for "sure" if its true outside of my own phaneron makes it a super not accurate practice on paper. I'll just say that intuition is key, and not everyone has it.
