I made this thread partially in response to biloved's thread. (Hey, biloved! :smilewave) However, because I also have some things to say that aren't really related, I decide to make it a separate thread instead of a post responding to his/hers. What's not responding to his/her thread will be about why I left here in the first place (and left for a long time). Very simply, this board was very supportive at the earlier time of my membership. I came here for support in hopes of finding a better environment. At first, a better environment I did find when joining this board. Many months after that, however, because of an incident or two that happened within a week, I decided to depart. And boy, did I not come back for months to follow! Simply, I was only innocently joking with a particular member about marriage, only trying to have a good time!! He didn't like it, so instead of talking to me first, he reported me to a moderator for sexual harassment, and that deeply offended me. I just decided I wasn't going to put up with it. I have a hard enough time being gay in America, I didn't need the junk that was being given to me. So again, I left for a while. Of course, I was sorry if I caused any discomfort to anyone, but I just couldn't take it; again, the person could have more easily came to me and have spoken to me, but nope, it's the tattle-tale choice that's taken. It got me so upset, I literally cried for days. I'm not going to tell you his name, however much I am so very tempted to just spew it out right here right this very second!! I came back to give my membership on this board another chance though. So, specifically about bilove's question, this board was helpful as any good community of gay friends would have been. As I said earlier, junk goes on in my life because I'm gay. No, not only so, but I'm a gender non-conformed gay! Because I'm the stereotypical homosexual male, you can understand how hard it is for some people to accept me, not to mention how hard it is for my family!! Some places are much more accepting than others, I have to live in a place that's only moderately accepting and not accepting at all. As if society is not bad enough, I get scolded at for being who I am by my own sister, and that's being a gender-non-conformed gay guy. Why can't I wear women's clothes if I feel like that that's my fashion? Why is it bad if I wear perfume? Just because it embarasses her? Just because I'm an embarassment to my family? (Personally, I think they brought that embarassment to themselves! As my family, they choose to not support me and my differences, so I have to conform to their ideal. How's that for a family??) So it was at one point that I found this board, and I felt a whole lot better. I could talk to others who were gay, and if I were to tell people about my non-conformity, these people would not only be cool about it, they would totally accept me. This was my first assylum when I needed it. I came here to just sit back and have a good time, enjoy the conversations that were going on. Some time during my leave of this board, I found a group called GLBU in a conservative town in California. This town is where I currently attend college. There's also this other group called Fusion, which consists of half of the people who attend GLBU. The people in this group, though, aren't very warm. I mean, they're fun and exciting to hang out with, but there was no one I could really talk to, except for the head-coordinator there, Rodney. Like a lot of members here, he's a great guy: he's open-minded, and he talks about everything; it doesn't even bother him. He's just so open! However, I don't go to their meetings anymore because a few members have their personal problems with me, and in a similiar way to what happened here, they didn't even talk to me about what was bothering them; they told Rodney first, so I had to hear it from him. Hey, maybe it's just me. Maybe it's something that I do. I'm introverted (very!!), and I haven't fully learned the way that these extroverted people go. I'm also naive in some ways. *sighs* I just need someone to tell me directly to the face what it is that I'm doing that's making them feel so irritably uncomfortable. I want to belong to groups like Empty Closets, but as long as I'm making people feel uncomfortable, I can't go to them. So I'm still trying to get rid of my upset feeling of what happened here, butI just want to say, I'm really glad to see a lot of you. I really missed this place. I don't know if I seem fake for saying that, but it's from my heart and I mean that sincerely. Come all, group hug! (&&&) ~~~LowestVocal017~~~
Welcome back, I guess....it's like going to a movie and getting there half way through...don't know who, what, where or why, and that leaves me confused...but, I read it all and tried to understand. Got some of what you are saying, but was left out in left field on part of it...any way Hi,,, Seems we have just the opposite conditions when it comes to friends and family..In my case, both are very understanding and supportive..Once, last year, I was emotionally hurt by someone from school and was very much down over it. My big brother, 3 years my senior and in the Marines, was home at the time. Talk about a str8 arrow...The second night he figured out that something was wrong and bothering me..He came to my room, sat on the edge of my bed and asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, but he coaxed it out of me and I told him. Without even thinking about what it would look like if he were seen, he put his arms around me and hugged me and stayed with me the night..That is what I call a REAL MAN..Too bad there arn't more like him. We would all be better off.
Oh dang, and I forgot about the newcomers! Hi to you all to! *hugglez david_nelson* (&&&) It really is too bad we don't have a lot of people like your older brother when it comes to gay issues. I'm glad for you, david. It also depends on the town: the religious and political standings, the cultural norms, and finally, whether or not the people of the town are single-minded (it may or may not be their fault). There are lots of religious zealots in my town, and these religions aren't currently fond of homosexual and questioning people. For me, if I wore women's cloths, I have to be trying to make a statement, I have to be trying to get attention. Most just won't believe anything else, at least not easily. Little do they know. I just have a question about your older brother: while in the Marines, what does your brother do when he learns of a gay barrackmate or a colleague? What would he do? Secondly, how would he react if and when he experiences a discharge from someone who was found out? I know I'm different, I know I'm weird to her, but my sister get's very emotionally charged when she see's or even smells me wearing something typical to females. I really just want to tell her, "Hey, if I don't get to express myself in what I like to wear, when will I? In 35 years?? I'm only young for 20 years, and I missed my first 15-19 years!" :icon_wink
