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Pure frustration leads to good writing for me...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AwesomGaytheist, Aug 14, 2013.

  1. AwesomGaytheist

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    On another thread about poems, I penned this one out of pure frustration. What do you think? Poetry really isn't my thing, fiction is. Anyway, here it is:

    This thought is keeping me up at night
    Will I really spend the next 30 years in a cubicle?
    I spent my whole life dreaming of my office being a cockpit
    Crisscrossing the country.

    Visiting every one of the 50 states
    And vacationing for free in my free time
    I worked so hard to make it a reality
    And it might stay a dream.

    I could get a nice degree
    Make more money
    Less student loan debt
    But I'd be firmly planted on the ground.

    This all started 4 years ago
    When I tried to kill myself
    They put me on Prozac
    And now the FAA is holding me up
    Can't fly on SSRI's.

    Now I don't know if I can do what I love
    Am I sentenced to end up like my dad
    God forbid?

    Day in and day out
    Trudging off to some huge company
    In some big city
    Spending 9 hours a day in a 6-by-6 fabric cell
    With nothing more than a desk and a computer

    Suffer all day with ass-hat bosses
    People with IQ's in the negatives
    Who are only in charge because they have seniority.

    Then come home and bitch and moan
    Scream and yell and complain some more.
    Go to bed and get up early
    And do it all over again tomorrow.

    And the next day.
    And the next day.
    And the next day.
    And the next day.
    And the next day.
    Every damn day.
    Every single day.
    EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

    Play the lottery and pray
    To a god you don't believe in that someday soon
    You'll win an early retirement
    And you can tell off those buffoons.

    People told me
    "You can be a private pilot"
    "And have the best of both worlds."
    Not when you can't get a medical.
    Because if I could, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

    So I'm faced with the reality
    Of following in my father's footsteps
    Staring at a screen all day
    For the next 30 years.

    My dad wanted to be an archaeologist
    And ended up working with semi-truck ABS systems

    Is this what it's all about?
    Is the whole point of a career,
    Waiting and hoping for the day you can say
    "I Quit?"

    Having bosses crawling up your ass
    Turning your hair gray
    And living in a bedroom town?

    Is it about dreaming of the promised land
    Known as retirement?
    A 30-year prison sentence
    To be served in a big office building?
    The guards wearing suits and ties
    And working 80 hour weeks?

    And for what?
    Just a paycheck?
    Isn't there more to life than having toys?
    I just want to enjoy myself.

    That's why I wanted to fly.
    Do something I love and get paid for it
    Come home to my loving husband
    Life is good.

    But now I might end up suffering
    Selling my soul at some corporation.
    I want to cry at the thought
    But I still have a chance
    To make it happen
    It's not over yet.
     
  2. Hexagon

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    I like it. Its very good. And I worry about the same frequently, as well :frowning2: I think I write better when I'm frustrated, but its hard to tell because I write so intermittenly. I find a day, write all day and night, then can't seem to do it for a few weeks.
     
  3. Tea with garlic

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    Hey! It's good because it's sincere. And it is the best kind of poetry, when there are fragments of your real life behind it... And you know what? Your profession notwithstanding, you can always choose to be the kind of person you can admire and respect. Not a fan of office life myself, and I've tried, but it wasn't like there was nothing but a paycheck in it=)
     
  4. AwesomGaytheist

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    Your first post was to reply to me. Welcome to EC. Thanks for your input, and I'm still working towards getting my medical.

    By the way, you might want to post an intro thread so people can get to know you.
     
  5. Tea with garlic

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    Thank you for making me feel welcome and for your advice!=)