Neutral pronouns - a clue?

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

If a person uses neutral pronouns to describe their partner, would you take this a possible hint of homo/bisexuality or is it no clue? Like, if they're asked "What would your ideal partner be like?" and they say "They would have to be loyal" rather than "he/she", could that mean anything?

[total mo]

I guess, they don't want to narrow it down to only a he or a she, they want both worlds.

[Tim]

I'm not sure. I naturally say they in situations like that, but that might have come from being closeted for so long. But I hear my straight friends respond to questions like that with neutral pronouns all the time... so eh...

[Paul_UK]

I think it could be a slight clue, but certainly not something you can rely on. You need to get them talking more to see if you can pick up any more specific clues. Perhaps asking questions that could help with the clues?

My crush (who all three of us at work were undecided about) has mentioned his fiancée now, so that obviously makes him str8.

There's this TV series about teenagers and their parents who see this therapist because they clash over their sex lives - anyhoo in one episode one of the teenagers was this guy who was like "yeah, so when I have people in my room and we're etc. etc."

It struck me as really odd that he said 'people' as it seems like such a deliberately neutral phrase. It kind of made me wonder whether he was bi (the rest of the programme didn't clarify things one way or the other).

The example in the OP is much more of a natural turn of phrase though, so I'm not sure how strong a clue that would be.

[Trumpetplyer23]

Depends on the person. When I talk about my crushes around people who don't neccessarily know (or need to know) that I like a girl, I say neutral pronouns.

However, I've been using gender specific pronouns a lot more lately.

[jazzrawr]

I think it could be a clue, but not an exact one. I know i use them ALL the time, but i dont know about anyone else.

[Alex]

I dont think it means anything, it might... but one might just use the words that just come to mind...

[Behling]

I use neutral pronouns when talking about my previous boyfriends to people I'm not out to so its possible. Try and get them into a situation where they would normally use he or she

[byeee]

I use them all the time, but the only people that actually get the hint are people that are interested in finding out if i'm gay

Believe me, I always use neutral pronouns (or avoid them if it's not possible otherwise) and nobody really got the hint... out of the people I wanted to come out to .

So not really a clue.

[Level N Human]

I think it depends on how you talk really. I tend to use neutral pronouns a lot so when I mention it in love-life context it doesn't seem out of the ordinary for me to do I don't think.

But either way I'm pretty sure no one will really think "Why did that person say 'they' instead of her/him?! Must be queer."

[Wander]

I'm so bad about playing the pronoun game...I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone, so that's not a problem, but it gets a little awkward when people ask me if I have a girlfriend or what qualities I like in girls.

Also, totally unrelated, but nice Starman avatar!

I never specify the gender when im talking about things like that

[ccdd]

It can definately be a clue, as I have used it myself, and heard people I know are gay using it. Used in combination with other things, can be a sign. But not certain, though. I find that I pick on every tiny little clue there could ever be - when I meet someone new (especially girls!), I am so attentive to what they say, usually until they mention the "B"-word.

[Miaplacidus]

I rarely specify gender. Spanish is quite useful for that as one can omit it easily.

Originally Posted by Miaplacidus

I rarely specify gender. Spanish is quite useful for that as one can omit it easily.

Ha ha ha. That's true.
I really don't have that problem, 'cause it's just like Fred says.

[Lava421]

I think gender-neutral pronouns, especially in their singular forms, are good indications. I note the singular forms because to me saying "the person" is much more unwieldy than saying the ordinary "he" or "she."

Recently when a co-worker told me she's in a relationship with a person whose sex wasn't specified, I referred to him as a "person." After that, she laughed at me, but I'm not completely convinced about why.

Sure, non-straight people can throw around gender-neutral pronouns without straight people noticing, but, as a generalization, wouldn't straight people be the last ones to pick up on this?

[UnderARock]

Well i always neutral pronouns, i think it could be a clue but to us it might be that only to us its a clue. No1 had every said anything to me about it.

Tip: if u dont want to say partner try significant other