Would you trust your partner...

It would depend massively on the person, but i reckon personally tht would be the start of the end. I couldnt hack it in an open relationship, and if thts what my partner wanted then i reckon we would be too different and have too far different views of love to continue much longer.

Tbh, if i wasnt enough for a guy then thats fine, but you cant pick and choose what u want with people and we wouldnt work. If its tht they dont like me physically then were better off just friends.

 

I think I'd have to seriously assess whether it would be worth remaining in a relationship if we obviously want different things. I think more than not trusting them to remain faithful, my main concern would be that they would remain totally faithful and end up resenting me for it. Maybe the important thing would be to ask them why they wanted a poly/open relationship, I imagine there are good and bad reasons. Those are my initial thoughts anyway.

 

This exact thing happened to me a few years ago. We stayed together for a bit after that, but I was never able to completely trust her again.

 

I'd like to trust him, but I'd be a little more interested in why he wanted an open relationship.

"Am I not good enough in bed? Am I not satisfying you in other areas? What am I doing wrong?" would probably be my response.

 

No. Even if they asked for a threesome the relationship might not last long. Monogamy is an absolute requirement for me.

 

it would crush me and kill the relationship i would then think about ripping his head off

 

The thing is, it's hard to think with these what ifs. I guess it'd depend on my hypothetical partner. I dunno, for the most part I'd say no, because then the open relationship would cause me to be extremely self conscious(which I already have confidence issues) about the relationship, such as "Am I not enough for him?" "AM I doing something wrong?" "I-is he just looking for an out in this relationship?" etc. etc.

I just can't see myself doing anything like that.

 

^ This, 100%.

 

Quite honestly, it'd make me feel that I'm not good enough for them. If they need to go to someone else, then there's clearly something lacking in the relationship.

 

The relationship wouldn't last very long if that did happen. Monogamy is something that I want in my relationships.

 

No. He might as well be saying, "You're not good enough for me anymore. Mind if I get with other people to keep it interesting?"

At which point, we're done. In my mind, you asked for it so you obviously want it. I wouldn't be able to trust you anymore.

 

I really don't understand the concept of "Open relationship." Is an 'open relationship' and 'cheating on someone' mutually exclusive? For me, if my partner claims that he's with me, but he's also seeing someone else, I already consider that 'cheating'.

 

An open relationship is not the same thing as cheating because both people consent to not being monogamous while still maintaining the relationship. Neither person in the open relationship is hiding the fact that they will sleep around with other people, so it's not considered cheating.

Cheating would be if both people were monogamous, but one of the partners decides to sleep around while the other person in the relationship is not cognizant of that occurring.

Personally, I don't want to have open relationship. I don't want to make him feel or make myself feel that we aren't good enough for one another, thus we have to resort to finding other people. I value monogamy instead.

 

I wouldn´t say no. But I´m sure if I did, he would do his utter best to not cheat.

 

I don't think it would work.. Relationships are built on trust, and with that type of freedom, too many doubts get in the way.

 

No. Not in the way you worded it:

If they asked for a poly relationship or an open relationship and you said no? Even if they assured you they wouldn't cheat?

Few people actually plan on cheating and everyone, which does include me, will, if the right set of circumstances align themselves, cheat.

Granted, some of us are reasonably certain that those right sets of circumstances will happen, but there is no 100% certainty on the matter. I may actually run into Jonathan, who is a mechanic and owns a Harley and matches perfectly with my internalized 'ideal partner' (AKA Fantasy man).

And I am reasonably certain that if I met that man I would be sorely tempted to drop who ever I am with to be with Jon. My spirit may be willing to be true, but the flesh is weak.

There is no way to assure anyone you will not cheat. You can say that you are 99.9% certain that you will not actively seek to cheat, you can even say that you are pretty certain you have control over your emotions to not get overly emotionally involved with another person.

But to say that you would never cheat strikes of denial (at worst), or at least tells me one hasn't considered the whole mechanics of how relationships are sparked and the the potentials that having sex with others brings to the table when it comes to affairs of the heart.

In cases of poly-relationships, one has to seriously recognize that 'crap happens' and that the heart will tend to follow its own course. To deny that runs far greater risks.

 

Oh my, I would so break down, even if it was a joke.

I don't think it would become a trust issue but more of are you happy in this relationship issue. If my partner asked for this I would think that I'm not enough for him and that maybe we should break up because it sounds like he wants to see other people.

That whole idea scares me so much, its part of way I've been avoiding see anyone untill recently.

 

I believe that they wouldn't stay faithful long-term. I think I would break up with them if they wanted an open relationship.