It seems to me like lesbians are less widely-accepted than gay boys...?

Actually I think its the other way around, Lesbians are more accepted then gays, And the main reason is, is because to girl having sex or making out attracts many guys, And to gay guys are disgusting to alot of people, So I don't agree.

 

I think that's a common sentiment. Probably might be true, I don't know how you would find out though. I do feel that way as a gay man, my lesbian friends are not quite as widely accepted as my gay friends and I are. Hopefully that goes away with exposure

 

I think this thread should not be here, maybe contact an admin so it could be moved to the Chit Chat section?

As to answering your question, I personally don't think the real difference is at acceptance, but rather visibility and understanding. Gay men are disproportionately portrayed in the media, and when someone thinks about "homosexuals" the first image that usually comes to mind are gay men. In addition, the fact that many people still believe lesbianism is experience-induced, and women can "turn straight" after finding the right guy means that lesbians aren't taken as seriously as gay men.

But on a deeper level, I think this lack of understanding and exposure is prevalent in all popular portrayal of women- women to this day are still not treated seriously by the society, which has been structured in accordance with male-oriented, patriarchal patterns.

 

Hm, well, it depends. Lesbians, especially in very homophobic countries like my own, tend to be more "accepted" than gay men (or at least there are less violent reactions towards them than those towards the guys).

In the political area, it's true that gay men have more visibility. Even in the scientifical study of homoseuxality, gay men have an edge - there are more studies about them than about lesbians. I think this has to do with the male privilege thing.

 

Thread in the wrong section (shouldn't be in News, but in Chit-Chat instead).

With that out of the way, lesbians are more accepted amongst males and gays are more accepted by females. That's why people have the impression that one orientation is more accepted than the other, because they're using the perception of homosexuality by people of their own gender to compare with that of the opposite gender. The level of acceptance should be more or less the same for both gays and lesbians.

 

Moved. In the future, use the Post Report button to alert the staff so the thread can be taken care of more quickly.

Lesbians aren't always considered as "serious" as gay guys. This means that on the one hand they may face less overt homophobia and comments about how it's disgusting (since two girls are considered hot) but on the other hand true acceptance that a lesbian is not going through a phase and so on may be harder.

 

You'd think in a predominately hetero-male society; they wouldn't be because heterosexual males tend to like Lesbian Porn and even Lesbian erotica alot. Just shows how contradictory people can be.

 

I think it's the other way around. In high school, when we were naive, or at least I was, there was no talk of the suspected orientation of girls whereas there was of boys. And it had to be obvious and consistent for it to be commented upon. For girls, even in college, all you would hear is that "she's good in sports" instead. I think that this is because society values attributes like competitiveness, leadership, and discipline, which is needed in sports. At that age, and in the educational setting, attributes which can be attained solo, such as creativity, intelligence, and being nurturing or reflective, weren't lauded nowhere as much.

The same is true in the workplace, from my personal experience. If a woman is assertive, disciplined, and can rally the troops, and she's a lesbian or bi, it's fine. If a man is a nose to the grindstone type and competent, and he's gay or bi, AND the atmosphere is male-dominated and homophobic, then it will be a tougher road. As for this last paragraph, I refer to small employers and locations where civil protections for more classes are not written in nor values that the organization itself holds.

So, I never saw girls get grief in high school, unless I didn't notice it, but I saw boys get grief in high school. It tended to be underhanded snide and rude comments, more so than group bullying or physical, but I'm sure those hurt just the same.

 

It honestly depends on how you look at it. This is anecdotal, so don't take my word at 100%.

I think that in a way, we have different struggles. Gay men seem to face more upfront homophobia. Gay guys are the ones who are considered "disgusting" and stuff like that. Gay guys are generally the ones who are getting stuff yelled at them, and are generally bullied more. For this reason, they are portrayed more often in fiction, because their problems are more obvious. Media also prefers homosexual men, because the stereotypes are much more fun to write, and we are still unfortunately in a stage where it's okay to be lazy when writing homosexuals, because writers are just trying to be edgy.

Lesbians on the other hand face a lot more societal homophobia. You don't very often see women really getting bullied for their sexuality, and a lot of people are turned on by it. However, lesbianism is not really taken seriously. While a lot of people accept that you can't choose to be a gay man, people still say that being a lesbian is a choice, and that she just needs the right guy. We also deal with being sexualised on a very large scale, and have to deal with things like people asking for threesomes, and just general rudeness. Nobody really sees the sexualization as a big deal, and everybody seems to think that it's the same thing as being accepted. In reality, it is just us being treated like objects, and as many girls know, if you aren't a pretty lesbian, you will get treated exactly like a gay man. Only pretty lesbians are accepted in society.


In short, males deal with problems on a more wide-spread scale, wheras only some lesbians have to deal with it, but everybody mistakes the ones who don't for the minority.

 

Yes, the threesome thing expected of lesbians is kind of off the charts, and some guys just don't get it. And I would agree with that pretty lesbians have it easier, because some, mostly guys, give them a pass. The same is true of handsome gay men, to some extent, though comments like "I can't believe it" and "what a waste" are also common, though behind their backs, and mostly made by women. Some guys may be intrigued by gay guys, if they drink beer and follow sports, while other guys would dislike them, irrespective of what they look like and what hobbies they have. The dynamics are different for both genders.

 

I think that's the problem. Lesbians are viewed as entertainment for straight men. Lesbian sexuality isn't taken seriously at all. A lot of straight men don't view it as cheating if their partner sleeps with a woman for instance.

Acceptance would mean that a lesbian relationship was respected and treated like a straight or gay male relationship.

To be quite honest, while it's a very real experience for some of us, I think the warnings transitioners like myself get constantly about our sexuality drifting, are just an extension of people not respecting lesbian sexuality in general. Their sexuality can be overridden by "the right guy", so why can't mine, right?

But yeah the reaction I get when I tell people I'm gay, and the relief when they find out it means I'm into women, says a lot of funny but at the same time sad things about how far we have yet to go. I agree completely with another post but I'd take it a step further. When you use the word "homosexual" the only thing that goes through most people's heads is a male couple.

 

You said what I was going to.
Not that I'm upset, because it saves me all that typing. You probably also worded it better than I would've.

 

Just a point I don't think anyone else has brought up...
Straight girls: "Oh my gosh I want a gay best friend to take me shopping!" rolle: stereotype, but that is the general attitude)

How often have you heard a guy say he wants a lesbian best friend to play football with?

 

ItalianBlueEyes and Abbra both have awesome points. Cassie also had an awesome point especially the last sentence!

There is also a problem in that gay men are represented most in the community. The rest are pushed aside. I still have gay men laughing at lesbian sex and saying it's not real....or asking me "how to do it"....whereas, I really can't picture lesbians making fun of gay men's sexuality....

Also...the stereotype of gay men are mainly positive: good-looking, friendly, outgoing, fun, fashionable, has a lot of female friends

unfortunately, the stereotype for lesbians still persists as man hating angry women who "turned" gay from some bad experience....

Let me tell you something. The only "bad" experiences I've had were with women. Guess what? I'm still a lesbian! I still fall in love back and forth with the stereotypical femme lady

 

Yeah, right on the money there. That's why straight men are grossed out by gay men and gay sex, and not lesbians. That's why there's a ton of lesbian characters on tv, and just a few gay characters. That's why lesbians get to make out and have sex on tv, while gay kissing is being censored. That's why lesbian movies have no trouble getting funded, while gay movies like Behind the Candelabra ends up at HBO.

But sure, you're right. Lesbians are OBVIOUSLY less accepted than gay men! :roflmao:

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Just because lesbians are highly sexualized doesn't make them more accepted. The reason lesbians get to kiss and have sex on TV? For boners. That's it. Hell, the first season of The L Word was originally targeted at MALE audiences. This whole "I have it worse" "no, I do" thing needs to stop in the LGBT community. We're all getting a shitty deal. It may come delivered in different packaging, but it still sucks.

 

This is the attitude more people should be taking on. Irrespective of the obviously different struggles gay men and lesbians face, they both face struggles. What is this obsession with always making it a contest? It merely creates disparity between the two which leads only to negative conclusions. It really does baffle me that the majority of LGBT people (at least as far as I can see) are always engaged in debates about who has it worse. It's an unanswerable question, and although it is most certainly important to outline the separate problems faced by gay men and lesbians (and bisexuals and trans people and so on), it is counterproductive to constantly forge these battles between one another.

Who are these fabled people? I'm not directly denying this notion, but if someone could give me some examples, I'd be grateful. Yes, there are plenty of people who say that being a lesbian is a choice and that they need "the right guy" and so on. But don't these people also say being a gay male is a choice and that they need "the right girl?".

How are gay male relationships respected and treated like a straight relationship? That's an abstruse comparison. Similarly, how are they more respected as lesbian relationships? I can think of plenty of people who disagree with homosexuality as a whole, so that negates this point. There are straight males who think gay males are disgusting but lesbians are fine. There are straight females who say "gay people are people too! love is love" but think lesbians are disgusting. Then there are those who are fine with gay males and lesbians and see no problem with either. I fail to see how gay male relationships are more respected than lesbian relationships, though.

Someone else who gets it. Happy to see some people not involved in these unhelpful debates that only create further disparity.

 

I think that it's the opposite. I know A LOT of guys who say that gay guys are disgusting or whatever but who have no problem whatsoever with lesbians. And maybe it's only because of the hypersexualization of lesbians in media but that doesn't make it any less true.