Why do people use gay as a unisex definition of homosexuality ?

Gay is an adjective.
Lesbian is a noun...
I prefer to say I'm gay than "I'm a lesbian" ...it feels more like an aspect of my personality than my entire identity.
Agreed, though, there should be a word that only applies to gay guys.

 

I'm guilty of this.

I don't know why men don't have their own word, or why we need a word specifically for women. It's just one of those social sex differences that I've become a lot more aware of. They're all a little silly but they are definitely there, and some of them even have reasons that make sense some of the time.

I use gay for a few reasons. One is, when I was first coming to terms with who I am, it really helped me get past a lot of the internalized homophobia I had. Just saying "I'm gay" is kind of a hurdle for everyone. At first I would just use the really long "transgendered lesbian", because it just removes all confusion. But then it got me thinking, why am I so interested in removing all confusion?

And another part of my transition involves stepping outside of what's considered normal. And if you do that and you look in any way masculine, people are going to assume you are attracted to men. I am completely fine with that assumption now, but I'm embarrassed to say I definitely was not when I first came out. So the word "gay" helped me get past that too.

Once I got past that, I reached a point where I struggled a little with my reasons for deciding to transition. And my orientation was one of them. I felt like I wasn't a "real" lesbian, and like I might be happier if I didn't. Of course I remembered all the problems my being trans did cause when I actually tried to have a relationship with a real life straight woman, but sometimes the heart doesn't let your head turn on right away. So the word "gay" came to my rescue here again. It made me realize that I'd taken inside a lot of other people's attitudes when it comes to orientation and identity. It made me realizing my being attracted to women had nothing to do with who I was. And that a gay woman is still a woman. The word "lesbian" still felt like... I guess "playing it safe" is a good way to put it. Still felt too close to my male identity. Eddy Izzard identifies as a "male lesbian". But the word gay, it was harder to say, and it made you think about what it means. I couldn't view myself as anything but who I really am using that word.

And now I use it partly because I know what people are going to think when I say it. It gives me a glimpse into how other people see me and how accepting they really are. With some people I'll never be "allowed" to be a woman in their eyes, and that's okay. There's more to me than my transition. But this way I know who to talk to when I just need someone to tell me if my hair looks right.

So in one little word it means when I say it, "I happen to be attracted to other women, which does not make me any less of a woman. I don't actually care if you think I'm a gay man, because some gay men are awesome people who I am honored to be compared to anyway. But your reaction to this word will speak volumes about yourself so be careful".

 

Come to think of it, I hadn't even heard of the terms "gayelle", "faggette", or "lady homo" until joining EC. Thems womens stealing *our* nouns!

 

I think in general the best way I heard it explained was, you would say "there's a lesbian over there" but not "there's a gay over there".

 

Gay is a adjective Lesbian is a noun but I guess you know this now. I don't mind it used for women does not phase me.

 

I've heard that said unfortunately

I sometimes think it would be cool to have a word just for gay guys, but as other people have said it's much nicer to be labelled with an adjective than as a noun.

 

Because its easier to place a label on things than it is to develop interest about a topic of conversation just for conversation sake.

 

I've heard the term "homosexuality" for men attracted to men and "lesbianism" for women attracted to women. So it's not all the time.

 

I would be more worried about the lack of different words to express love. Love definitely comes in a lot more flavors.

Thus I love my dog and I love James could mean James is a dog, or I treat James like a dog, or it could mean my dog is my lover. :-O

I digress from the topic.

Gay - was adopted or actually smacked on to homosexual men, along with fairy, queen, poofter, and a lot of other words.

Gay men adopted the word gay and used it as an adjective and as a noun. During the revolution other words were tried, like queer - but gay sorta stuck.

Gay is like love - one word is used to describe many levels of the subject... And just like love we know there are added words that magically modify the meaning of the word.

Example: He is gay - homosexual male. She is gay - Lesbian

Love is a bit more tricky, after all I love ice cream still implies I want to marry it... ;-)

 

Gay, plural, or 'gays' often gets used as a noun, especially by rightwingers in an almost derogatory may.

Example: "The KKK member said, 'If it wasn't for all those gays, blacks and Jews I don't know who I'd hate'"

So I do see it used pretty often, generally by politicians in a pejorative sense, and as a nounn.

 

I don't see why people are saying gay is an adjective and lesbian is a noun, they can both be correctly used as a noun or an adjective. Just saying

 

I think it's because the definition of gay is homosexual so that could go for both genders. Also I do not like to use the word lesbian it just deals uncomfortable so I use the word gay.

 

Well gay stands for homosexual, meaning likeing the same sex....gay works for unisex while lesbian refers to only women so...

 

It's kinda like how "actor" can mean someone of any gender who acts, but "actress" is specifically for women.

 

I can't stand when people say "the gays"

I always thought gay was applicable to either. gay man/gay woman.

 

dont think gay shold be used as a noun to describe homo oriantation any way :icon_biggi