Wondering if there really is a God

[Owen]

I've really been conflicted inside recently on whether or not there is a God. I look back on my life and feel that, if there is a God, he has abandoned me. Yesterday, while I was in my mom's car, I was really struggling with whether on not there was a God, and I looked up at the sky to maybe see something that would make me believe again. I really felt that, when I looked up, I would see something that could make me believe again. All I saw was grey sky. I looked up again later, and right after I looked up, we entered a tunnel, cutting off my view of the sky. I started trying to talk to God, saying, "Do you think this is funny? Do you enjoy watching this?" At first, I only felt silence, but then I felt something I never thought I would hear. I, not so much heard, as much as I felt God say "yes". That did it for me. I really felt that God had abandoned me at that point.

So this is my question to those of you who believe in God. Did you ever struggle with your faith? And if you did, what convinced you that there was a God? I do want to believe in God, since I do feel that my life would be better if I had the assurance that there is something out there bigger than me, but I refuse to believe something just for the sake of believing it. How did you guys find God, and why do you believe in him?

[Peridot]

God. I was raised up to believe him. At first, I would just look up into the sky and be like "Oh, yeah. That dude is up there." Like it was just a natural thing. I didn't like church and stuff, and never really understood the values God was SUPPOSED to give you. All I thought was "he's up watching peeps." Like a police man or something, protecting the world.

After some events I've went through for awhile now, I, too, am struggling on his existence.

Right now I am questioning about God's existence but I know one thing - spirits are real for me. I've had my personal expriences and I definetly believe in them.

As for God, I always feel like he just abandons me. EVERY time I look for Him, he's not there. People tell me, "He's there, you just don't realize it." Well, it nothing ever happens each time I look for him. It seems He's ignoring me. If its his plan for me to just be forgotten by Him, then I'm pissed.

For comfort, I rather speak with my spirit guides than God, cause I just know SOMEONE is watching me out there. Every time I really pray, I actually just pray to whoever is watching over me. I don't really know who it is, but I know it's SOMEONE. (Sorta like an imaginary friend thing, I guess).

But for now, God is questionable to me.

It sounds like belief in God is making you depressed. That's what I went through a few years ago.

[Davo]

My faith in God has always been shaky. I was brought up a christian and sort of drifted away from it. But after a suicide attempt when I was 14, I prayed every night for things to get better for me, and they did. I can't say why, maybe my faith in him made me appreciate life more, but over the next couple of years things got a lot better and that is why I believe in God.

There have been times these last few years where I've been in a very dark place, and I've prayed to God for help or for things to happen and it seems like he hasn't been there for me. The way I rationalise it in my own view of God, is I think he is very busy looking out for everyone on the planet, and keeping things running, so when I ask for help, he's a bit busy, he'll do what he can when he can. But he's watching over me, and ultimately I think it's up to us to try to make the best of our lives, God just does what he can

But it's what you think that determines your faith, maybe something will happen to reaffirm your faith, maybe you'll drift away. Believing for the sake of believing is not faith, and it'd be unfair on yourself to do that

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

You can find belief in something "bigger" without God. For me atm, that "bigger" thing seems to be in the shape of simply the law of love/goodness, or the teachings of the Buddha. My point is, if you find God hard to believe in, don't despair, because he's not the only option.

[Peridot]

^ Pretty close to what she said.

I just believe the teachings. Right now I just think of God as loving and forgiving, even though I'm still questioning his existence.

[Wander]

If you want my total and honest opinion, believing in something for the purpose of emotional support or because you're afraid of the consequences is a poor choice. There are plenty of amazing things in this world and none of them require a higher power to make them so. I'm not going to push you into anything or try to drag you in a direction you don't want to go, but if you're having doubts, follow them. Look into them.

[xxAngelOnFirexx]

i believe because i am an angel. sounds stupid but i know that i am. why i'm here. why i had to go through absolute hell in my life and what i'm supposed to be doing. truthfully people see God as something different than i feel he really is. he does care about you. everyone. see i call him Spirit. he's my leader. simply a higher arch angel who watches over everything. I could go on but i think i make my point. that voice in your head is you. God can't interver that much in peoples live because thats how it is. angels are what do his work. i'm here to help people out. i went through hell so i can relate to people and know what will help them. being an angel who voluntered for the part, to come down from heaven once again i did go through a tough time with religion and re-accepting my part in life. i even tried to commit suicide to end it. even know i am not religious one tiny bit! practically atheist except for my being positive i'm an angel its just believing because i know my part on earth. just try and know the Spirit Angel does love his creation but imagine millions of people trying to talk to you at once. he really only talks to those in the most dire need. like cancer patients and dying people. he will talk to you but asking if he is real, is like, well, you obviously believe in your hearty otherwise you would be talking to yourself.

[Nerdtendo]

...I feel...that there is a higher power. ...some call it Karma, some call it God, and some call it just plain lucky...some call it the cosmos...some say it's all around us...that it is with us...that it is within our bodys, our minds, our souls...some say we ARE the higher power...some say the higher power is the Earth...

...but how can we really know what is truly the higher power. ...My personal opinion? I think the higher power is something that we cant even comprihend.

...much like I cant comprihend how a bag of dice can be $30!

[Sam]

I believe there is a higher power, call it god, call it whatever you want to but I believe there is something out there. I'm not a religious person but I used to be. I was the person who went to church every sunday and a church camp every year I stopped because I didn't believe some of the stuff that they were teaching like: I'm going to hell because I'm gay.

I later began questioning the authenticity of the bible because it was written and translated my men who I'm sure added what they wanted to add.

What I'm saying is yes I believe there is a god (what I call it) because there have been too many times when I've been suicidal and suddenly felt peace or a time when I survived a car crash when I shouldn't have and I believe it was a work of a higher power. as far as everything else that goes with it when you put a religion to it, no I don't. I believe the concept of living a good life, and being a good person and living some of the teachings of religion is a good thing if you don't take it too far (like wanting gay people to die) but I don't believe anything but the higher power part to be true.

I hope you find out what you believe and whatever you believe is fine I'm just sharing what I believe.

Sam

[Mirko]

I believe that God exists. I do believe that God helps us along our path/journey through life and is there for us. Often I find myself looking towards the sky and just asking God for help or guidance. Where there times when I believed that God has abandoned me? Definitely! There were times when I prayed for his help but I didn't seem to get it. But then after a while something good happened which made me believe again. Maybe God sometimes is not answering to let us find our own way for a little while so that we become stronger. But he is still there and watching over us.

If you believe in God don't give up.

[LOVEjames]

I believe in what I call a Cosmic Force. It doesn't really have a shape, but it's out in the galaxy somewhere. I don't think that it answers prayers or anything like that, but I do thing that it appreciates good karma, or treating someone nicely. And it will give you something nice in return, or it may not. If it thinks that you did something bad, then something bad will happen to you. I don't think that it created the world, but I do think that when the world was formed, it was formed too. I sort of picture it as floating stars in the night sky that change colors. I think that it has a conscience and can think for itself, and sometimes drifts down to observe the world and particularly loves nature, especially trees. There's really no reason for me to think this, but I do and I enjoy it, so it's of no real consequence. It's why I like trees so much, because I go to them to meditate, I find that it's a lot easier for me to reach my inner being when I meditate near a tree.
I'm not really sure if there's a reason that I tried this or anything. It was actually a year ago that I actually started 'wanting' to find God or whatever form he was in. I tried going back to a Christian (Lutheran, to be specific), but that was hard for me because while the Church itself was accepting of the LGBT group, their Holy Scripture isn't, and while they identify as Christian and aren't homophobic, there are those that are Christian and promote homophobia, so I thought that in a way I was condoning homophobia just by relation of Christianity, so that was sort of out. I then went to a Jewish Temple, and it was a spectacular culture, but the religion itself was almost the same as Christianity in my opinion. But the one thing that I will never forget is the elder gentleman that was sitting in front of me told me to keep searching until I find something that works for me. And he had to have been about 80 or so, so I thought that it was really accepting of him.
I was getting insanely frustrated with not being able to find a religion, and I expressed that with my best friend going through the same thing. We talked about how we want to be religious because we just KNOW that there's a higher power out there just waiting for me to find it. We were considering Christianity, but we couldn't do that because there was no possible way that we would ever consider being labeled 'Christians' - even insanely open ones. We were considering Buddhism, but that doesn't really believe in a higher power that's outside of your control, it believes in a higher power that resides in yourself. Which I do, but I also believe that something non-human is around. I quit my search for God just because it was getting too hectic.
And then I picked up a book entitled Eat Love Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert, and I will say that it changed my life. It's about a woman who goes through a divorce and travels to three countries to experience the lives of pleasure, devotion, and a melding of the two. I think that I know enough about pleasure because I find my life very pleasurable, so the first part didn't really teach me much, but in the second part... I can't really even describe it in words. I found in myself a new love for a Higher Power that I never had before. I found that it was actually EASY for me to believe in a Higher Power that I have never even considered before, and it was partly the Cosmic Power that I described before. And I enjoyed it.
The last section of the book, looking for a balance between Pleasure and Devotion was also enlightening, because it basically presented a day to day life of someone doing it, so it was easy for me to understand it. Something funny about the book is that one of the lines says that if you're truly looking for a Guru, one will find you. And I think that I found it in Elizabeth Gilbert, even if it is only through her writing.

[LOVEjames]

xD BAHA. Okay, I can guarantee you right now that that will be the longest post in my EC life.

[Jard]

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, so I had no choice but to believe and obey every little rule in that ridiculous faith. Even after our family fell out of it, I still believed, because I had always believed, but ever since I came out to myself, I kinda stood back and said "Wait... this isn't a choice. Why the hell would God punish someone for this?" and ever since then I've been believing less and less. The more I think about it, the more a higher power sounds completely insane to me. I know that if there were a higher power, it would be too hard for us to comprehend and all that, but at the same time it's just too hard for me to believe. And everyone always says "If you just read the Bible, your life will change!" but if I hear anything from it I automatically just think it's nonsense. I dunno... I'm still teetering, but I'm dreadfully close to giving up faith completely.

[BookWorm]

I don't know, i don't think i realyl believe in god that much. when i was younger, my parents really tried to push god and religion on me, but after we moved (i was like 7 years old) they dropped it and i don't think there is one, just because if there really was one, they're not doing a great job. they're letting people get raped and murdered and and has taken religion as a way to discriminate others. and to me if there is a god, then why would they let that happen.

[jazzrawr]

Well, my family has never been Christian or anything like it, but I have always believed in a higher power. I just don't like the way Christians partray it. I don't think Spirit is gender specific, and they always call god Him. I don't like that they are so damn discriminatory, and thats my biggest problem with the Bible. Dont get me wrong, i know alot of amazing Christians...i just don't believe in their version of god.

[Trumpetplyer23]

I was baptized Luthren, but I went to a Catholic school when I was in the first grade. My mom is Luthren but leans towards Wicca and other religions. My dad is a "Catholic".

As for me, I believe that a God exists, but I don't think it's the God as the Bible says. I don't even read the Bible, it's been rewritten so many times, and there is so much debate over what it really says, I decided that I didn't give a damn what it said anymore.

However, when people ask my religion, I always look them dead in the face and say "I'm Buddhist".

I am Catholic and I believe in God. I know he created me, he loes me and he wants for me the best.

The reasons why I believe in God is not just because I was raised that way, but God really showed me he is with me.

[MeskElil]

Trust me, we all struggle with our faith. You're about the same age as me, and I just want to let you know that we're at a stage where everything is uncertain--especially our thoughts on who we are and what we're doing here. I wasn't raised as anything by my family, but I was sent to a christian school, where I had the best religion teacher in the world. and I know it's hard to believe, but God really does love you. He's all around, and he lives in everyone. Everyone here on EC has God in them in some way. Why else would they be so kind and helpful all the time? God always exists in some form--if not in a heavenly being like we always think of. At the very least, he exists in all the good things of the world.
(wow, i'm starting to sound like my religion teacher)
But the point is that you aren't alone in the shaky faith thing. what you have to do is keep on believing, even when it's hard.
and i'm going to use some cheesy christian symbolism that, even though it's cheesy, you'll remember:

When you asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" he answered, "I love you this much. *image of Jesus on the cross*

Hope that, in a dorky way, helped.

[Vampyrecat]

Sometimes we lose sight of our faith because we believe things like, if there really was a god, then they wouldn't put us through so much horrific pain and misery. Or maybe that our whole life is just a waste of time.
but I'd like to share this passage with you. I'm not sure it's 100% accurately remembered, but i'll give it a shot, because I like to think that even though I don't believe in god, someone or something is up there, and they care about me.

When my life was miserable
I walked across the beach.
Not a soul walked with me, and I lost sight of god.
He had left me to deal with life's burdens,
abandoned me.
Then one day, things became a little easier,
and in the distance,
I saw god.
Hurrying up to him, I asked
"God, why did you leave me all alone when I needed you most?
I looked behind me and saw only one set of footprints, my own"
He looked at me kindly and replied
"Child, those were my footprints,
I carried you through those times so you might not bear the full pain."

Life can be difficult, but there is more then one religion, and there is more then one way to cope if you need someone to lean on. Emotional support can be gained from loved ones, friends, people here.
If you truly feel like you need a religion, then don't feel that you have to follow the religion you were born into. Find something that really speaks to you.
I was born into an agnostic family, but I'm finding myself becoming more and more religious as I get older.